Chapter 30 #2
“Thank you for trusting me enough to open up. That had to be so hard. But you don’t ever have to be alone again, sweetheart. You know that, right? Even if I’m not part of the equation, even if it’s just Tremblay and Noah—”
“No,” I snap, refusing to let him continue with that line of thinking. “I hate what happened. I hate what you did to Ty and why you did it. But the last thing I want is a future without you in it. I can’t quit you, Merce.”
I nuzzle deeper into his arms, inhaling the salt water and citrus scent I’ve come to associate with him.
“I need you,” I murmur, my lips pressed to his neck. “I love you.”
He stills in my arms.
I freeze, too.
I didn’t plan to say that. Shit. Will he think I’m only saying it in hopes of making him stay? I didn’t mean—
He pulls back, gripping me by the shoulders and searching my face. Rather than warmth, his dark eyes are filled with caution and questions.
Finally, he releases a shaky, jagged exhale, and he breaks.
His mouth falls open, and a pained sob escapes. And then he’s crying in earnest, tears streaming down his cheeks.
I move to swipe them away, but he shakes his head and tightens his grip on my upper arms, holding me at arm’s length, head hanging between his shoulders, his upper body trembling.
My heart is bleeding out. I need to comfort him. But when I try to shift closer again, he locks his muscles and firms his hold. “Just give me a minute,” he says without looking up.
So I do.
I sit in front of him, my stomach roiling and my anxiety going haywire. Did I share too much? Or push him too far? I sit and I wait, gnawing on my bottom lip. I finish off the bottle of water, yet my throat goes dry.
When Mercer finally looks up, I release an anxious breath, my whole body deflating.
His eyes are bloodshot and swollen, but his gaze has softened and resolve has replaced the reservedness from moments ago.
“You… you incredible creature.” He shakes his head, laughing dryly. “Jesus H, sweetheart. You didn’t even let me get a word in before presenting a masterclass in vulnerability and telling me you love me.”
Warmth floods my cheeks. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—”
“Don’t you dare apologize.” He straightens and inches closer. “Just put me out of my fucking misery and kiss me already.”
He hovers, attention flitting from my eyes to my lips and back, waiting for me to make the first move.
Heart in my throat, I close the space between us and press my mouth to his.
He takes control immediately, weaving one hand through my hair and dragging the tip of his tongue along the seam of my lips.
I open for him willingly. Wantonly and joyfully.
“Merce.” I shift closer, silently demanding more.
Tragically, he doesn’t give me what I want.
Instead, he pulls back, keeping a hand in my damp hair, and brushes his nose over mine before kissing the tip.
“I love you, too,” he says, each word doused in warm sincerity that soothes my insides and shrouds me in a sense of calm.
This is what’s been missing.
How did I ever think I could abandon what we share?
“I know I have work to do,” he says, resting his forehead against mine. “I’m beyond remorseful for what I did to Tremblay—”
“Tytus,” I gently correct.
If there’s a chance of any sort of group dynamic working here, the guys should at least be on a first name basis.
Swallowing, he nods once. “Tytus,” he repeats. “I’m willing to wait. To work for it. To grovel. I’ll do whatever it takes to make this up to you, and to him.”
My chest aches at the remorse radiating from him. I believe every word.
We’ve all made mistakes. Huge, damaging, almost irrevocable mistakes.
“Just make things right with Ty,” I say. “It doesn’t serve any of us for me to hold a grudge on his behalf. Being apart from you over the last few weeks was torture,” I admit. “But I think we’ve both suffered enough.”
He snickers. “On that point, I agree.” Then, quietly, he adds, “You’re sure? Because I’m deeply sorry, and I am fully aware that my actions that night were abhorrent.”
I peer up and nod. “I’m sure. Make things right with Ty. I just need you two to be okay.”
He presses his lips together, his eyes swimming with uncertainty. “Will you help me? I don’t know how I’ll even start to make amends.”
Head tilted, I lace my fingers with his.
“Ty is… intense.”
Mercer scoffs.
Okay. Intense might be an understatement.
But for as delusional and unreasonable as he was weeks ago, he was calm and focused and agreeable this morning. I’m certain he took our earlier conversation to heart.
The stakes are higher than they’ve ever been. He knows what has to happen now, and I sincerely believe he’ll be amenable to finding common ground.
“Tytus and I talked this morning,” I share. “A lot of the things that went down between the two of us weren’t okay.”
Mercer stiffens beside me, leaning in like he wants to know more.
But if we really want this to work, we can’t keep harping on what happened in the past and who did what to whom.
“I’m choosing to forgive him so we can all move forward. He knows that I need you and Noah in my life and that I won’t give you up ever again.”
Those words are accompanied by a fear I wish I could put to rest, but my connection with Ty is volatile and precarious. Yes, he agreed to my ultimatum, but that doesn’t mean any of this will actually work out.
“I can’t speak on his behalf, but he’s promised that he’ll try to make this work. At some point, that’s going to have to involve forgiving you for what happened.”
Mercer is quiet, processing, his focus settled on our joined hands.
“Tytus will forgive you because he knows it’s important to me. While I don’t think it’ll happen overnight,” I hedge, “I have to believe it’s possible.”
Mercer kisses my forehead, leaving his lips pressed against my skin while he murmurs, “I hope like hell you’re right, Little Nuisance. I’m not giving you up for anything. Not now or ever again.”