Chapter 18
Korren
It’s a relief when we head back to work the next morning. This weekend has been super intense in so many ways, and even though they’re not all bad, I don’t want to think about how many of my secrets Dex is uncovering. Or how vulnerable I’m starting to feel around him.
I hate that he saw my scars. It’s something I wasn’t planning on showing anyone, ever, because it’s proof that I was in a dark enough place for a while there that I wanted everything to end.
And I’m worried Dex will never see past that.
He’ll look at me, and all he’ll think about is how depressed I was, how much he has to worry about me going back there.
And I don’t think that’s true. At least I hope it’s not. I think I’m getting better, but it’s going to be hard not to spiral when I see him looking at me like I’m a fucking suicide risk all the time.
But of course Dex is better than that. He’s a fucking godsend.
He’s made coffee for me, and when he wishes me good morning, he says, “That mattress was incredible. Best place I’ve slept in ages.” Then he gives me a wicked grin and says, “I bet you wish you were sharing with me.”
“No way in hell. But now that I know how comfortable the bed is, I’ve got extra incentive to win this cabin for myself.”
“You wish.”
It’s as if nothing has changed.
We just have time to gulp down our coffees before we head to work. And it’s incredible to have clean clothes and clean hair for once.
This time, when Dex takes my hand, there’s an intimacy to it that wasn’t there before. It feels like he’s affirming that everything he’s learned about me is okay, and he isn’t going to think differently of me for it.
When we get home that evening, there’s a stack of clean clothes waiting on the couch. I don’t even recognize them as mine at first, and when I do, I pin Dex with a challenging stare. “How the hell did you pull this off?”
He does a dorky little wave of his fingers. “Magic.”
“Right. Sure.”
“You’re not going to thank me?”
“I think it’s your aunt I need to thank, isn’t it?”
Dex grins. “One of my cousins, actually. I bribed him with chocolate.” At the look on my face, he says, “What? It’s not like he has anything better to do over summer break!”
We’re barely into discussing our dinner options—instant noodles or instant noodles—when I hear a plaintive meow outside the door.
“Was that a cat?” I ask.
“Probably not.”
I open the door anyway, and there it is, a scrawny black kitten that’s as bedraggled as I was yesterday. I can’t help myself—I crouch down and reach out a hand.
The kitten approaches warily and touches its nose to my finger. When it rubs its face against my knuckles, I give it a good scratch behind the ears and then reach forward and scoop it into my arms. For a moment it stiffens, but then it’s nuzzling its head into my hand and purring loudly.
“You’re not feral at all, are you,” I croon. “Where are your humans?”
“I doubt anyone has lost it,” Dex says. “Sometimes people come here for the season and just abandon their pets when they leave.”
“That’s fucked-up. Who could abandon someone as precious as you?”
The kitten rubs its face against my chin.
“Oh my god, this is amazing,” Dex says. “I had no idea all it took was a cat to turn you into a complete sap.”
“Shut up,” I say, still giving the cat all my attention. I’ve always loved cats. “We’re keeping him, right?”
“We?”
I throw Dex a look. “Clarification: I’m keeping her. If you’re allergic or you don’t like cats, you can get your ass into a different house.”
Dex doubles over laughing. “No, no, keep her. She’s cute. She reminds me a lot of you, actually.”
Is he saying I’m cute? Or bedraggled? Or desperate for attention? I’m not sure I should try to figure this one out.
Then I remember we don’t have money.
“How are we going to feed him?” I ask.
“I might’ve grabbed a can of tuna when we were at the supermarket. Something to fancy up our noodles. I bet the little furball would enjoy that.”
“You’re a savior.”
Dex digs out the tuna, and as soon as the can cracks open, the cat is on high alert. He wriggles out of my arms and jumps down to start meowing desperately at Dex’s feet.
“Oh, you little suck-up,” Dex says. “Don’t make those eyes at me.”
The cat gobbles down half the can of tuna and then leaps back onto my lap, now reeking of fish.
Dex seems to have taken over cooking, so I lean back and stroke the cat, watching Dex covertly.
I can see every contour of his muscles through his shirt, from his powerful shoulders to his abs, and I notice for the first time that he has a damn fine ass.
My traitor mind won’t stop going back to the sight of him naked and hard in the shower.
Even though I’m not the least bit attracted to him, I’ve been alone for so long that my body is starting to get a mind of its own. All I can think about is his fingers kneading into my shoulderblades and the firm pressure of his hand on my dick. I fucking want more of it.
My cock is stiffening against my will when a knock comes at the door.
“Come in!” Dex shouts out.
I position the cat on my lap just in time for Chief Rhodes to push the door open.
“I’ve just got off the phone with the BLM,” Chief Rhodes says. “We’re heading out to that fire in the Brooks Range tomorrow morning, first thing. So pack your bags and meet at the station by seven.”
“Sure thing,” Dex says.
Then we’re alone again, and I realize this is probably the last time we’ll be in this cabin together until after the fire. And I don’t think we’ll be doing any more dares while we’re staying in tents out in the Brooks Range.
“Let me give you a blowjob,” I say before I can stop myself. “That’s your next dare.”
“Where the fuck is that coming from, Korren?” Dex asks with amusement. “Does the idea of fighting fires make you hard?”
“No, ’course not.”
“I swear you’re gay.”
I give him a cold look. “I’m really not. I’ve never once looked at a guy and thought I’d like to bone him.” I suddenly notice his dick straining against the fabric of his jeans. “Besides, if I’m gay, what the fuck does that make you?”
Dex gives an embarrassed laugh. “Fine. Forget I said anything. But still, I would’ve expected you to ask me to suck you off, not the other way ‘round.”
“After last time, it didn’t seem fair. I would’ve been taking advantage of you.”
“Sure, sure.”
Our noodles are getting cold, but now that I’ve mentioned this, I’m not going to be able to concentrate on dinner until I’ve seen it through. I don’t even know if this is something I want, but it was the only way I could think of to get another piece of Dex without pushing it too far.
I shove Dex toward the bedroom, and he goes without protest. He ends up perched on the edge of the bed while I jerk his fly down roughly, my pulse thudding in my ears. I’m either going to be disgusted by this or really fucking turned on, and I’m not sure which is worse.
Soon his cock is free, and I can’t focus on anything else. There’s a big vein that’s pulsing in time with my own heartbeat, and I lean forward and graze it with my tongue before I can talk myself out of this.
Right from the start, this feels different from the previous dare, because I’m very aware that I came up with it because I’m horny, not because I genuinely think it will scare Dex off.
He’s massive, and I’m not about to deep-throat that, so I wrap one hand around the base and tighten my grip as I run my tongue over his slit.
Dex moans, and I look up to see him leaning back with his lips parted. He’s fucking loving this.
The sight of his undisguised pleasure is a massive turn-on. My own dick is throbbing as I let instinct take over, telling myself none of this will matter by morning.
I take him into my mouth slowly, teasing him with my tongue.
Soon his hard length is hitting the back of my throat, and I start working him with my hand and mouth at the same time, my own cock aching for release.
There’s something about the taste of him, the raw combination of sweat and musk, that’s better than any perfume.
As I take him deeper, Dex makes another sound that’s half-growl. Then he’s rocking his hips forward and fucking my mouth, and even as I try to restrain him with the hand that’s still locked around the base of his cock, the feel of him filling my mouth and sliding past my tongue is making me wild.
At last Dex pushes me off him and comes into his hand. His whole body shudders, and then he collapses back on the bed, his cock still rising free of his jeans.
“Fuck, Korren,” he mumbles. “We weren’t even drunk that time. How am I s’pposed to not think about that every time I see you now?”
“Pretend it never happened,” I say, readjusting my belt in what is probably a useless attempt at hiding my own boner. “We’re good at that, aren’t we?”
Dex grunts. A moment later he props himself up on an elbow and gives me a funny look. “D’you want me to return the favor?”
My cock is saying something completely different, but I feel like I need to stop before we take things too far. “No fucking way. I’m not gay, you asshole.”
But my boner is getting increasingly harder to hide under my belt. I stagger into the bathroom and turn on the shower, trying to summon up the image of my former crush as I jerk off.
Instead it’s fucking Dex who fills my mind, Dex and his warm brown eyes, Dex and his dimples.
Dex whose dick was just in my mouth.