Chapter 23
Korren
I can’t focus on a word of Chief Rhodes’ debrief. All I can think about is that I’m going to have sex with Dex tonight.
I know it was my fucking dare. But I seriously did not think things through.
I don’t know if I can do this.
I’m stressing the fuck out.
My skin is crawling through the whole team meeting, and it’s all I can do not to keep itching at my arms. Especially my wrists—it’s like my scars have scabbed over again and the skin is tugging at the edges like it used to.
What the hell was going through my head?
And why the fuck am I getting horny just thinking about it? That scares me even more than the idea of hooking up with Dex.
I’m definitely straight, but if I get really worked up and end up enjoying myself, I’m never going to be able to convince Dex of that. And it doesn’t help that I’m the one who keeps coming up with the more extreme dares. He’ll never look at me the same way again.
I glance around at the rest of the crew, wondering what they’d think if they knew half of what we’ve gotten up to. We’ve taken this a lot further than I’d ever imagined—it’s like the game is turning into a whole thing instead of a means to an end.
My head is such a mess that I don’t even register when Chief Rhodes dismisses us. Instead I stay where I’m sitting like a dumbass until Dex comes and gives me a nudge.
“You look a bit distracted,” he teases.
“Fuck you.”
“Isn’t that the plan?”
I whip around to make sure no one is listening, which they’re not. The station is empty.
Still.
“Don’t say things like that,” I hiss.
“Not in public, you mean. I bet you’ll be all about the dirty talk tonight.”
I surge to my feet and clamp a hand over his mouth. “I’m fucking serious.”
He pokes his tongue between my fingers, and I give up. I know he’s as worried about his reputation as I am, so he’s just winding me up.
“Anyway, you’ve got your pay from last week. I’m going into town to see how fast I can spend mine.” Dex dangles an envelope in front of my face, and I snatch it roughly.
“I’m not going with you,” I say.
I’m out the door before Dex can say anything else. I tear open the envelope as I walk, scanning the page as I take in the first pay I’ve gotten in almost a year. Even if it’s only three hundred dollars, it makes me feel like an actual person again. A non-worthless member of society.
As soon as I’ve cashed the check, my first stop is the supermarket.
Once you know what it’s like to go without food for a few days, it changes you.
All I can think about is how many bags of rice and cans of beans I can get—solid food, stuff that’ll last forever.
I stock up on cat food, too. Can’t let my little fur baby starve.
The rest of the money I hold onto. It’s another week before our next pay, and I don’t want to run out again. It’s going to take a month to pay off my flight at this rate, so things will be tight for a while longer.
I don’t head back to the cabin until dinnertime. I’m not ready to face the awkwardness that is this evening. Maybe Dex will chicken out and save me from going through with it, but I have a feeling he won’t.
When I step through the door, I smell something delicious rising from the pot on the stove.
“I’m making nachos,” Dex says. “I hope you don’t mind.”
“You trying to set the mood?” I tease.
I’m rewarded by the sight of Dex blushing.
“I’ve got alcohol too,” he says. “I thought that would be useful.”
“Fucking genius.”
We start with rum and coke while Dex finishes dinner. I’m lucky he’s thought to stock us with meat and vegetables instead of just bulk foods like I did, or we would’ve gotten sick of rice and beans really fast.
The assembled nachos are truly a sight to behold. We load them up with the chili he’s been cooking, shredded cheese, a mound of sour cream, and guacamole.
“Who knew you could cook something besides instant noodles?” I raise my glass to him.
“My parents didn’t believe in making the woman cook all the time, so I got taught same as my sister.”
“You have a sister?” I look at Dex in surprise. “Has she cut you off too?”
“I don’t know. She’s older than me, and she moved down to New York a few years back. We were close when we were kids, but we don’t keep in touch very well now. I’m sure my dad has told her everything, so—” Dex grimaces. “What about you? D’you have any siblings?”
“I’ve got a couple stepbrothers. They’re much younger than me, so we aren’t close.”
We dig into our nachos, and it’s hard to talk with toppings spilling off the corn chips and meat juices dripping down our fingers. When I’m finished, I lean back in my chair and fold my hands over my stomach. “That was fucking delicious, Dex. Thank you.”
“More alcohol?”
“Please.”
We switch to whisky on the rocks, and suddenly I can’t distract myself any longer from what we’re about to do. Blood is already rushing to my cock, and the itchy, anxious feeling is back.
I down my first glass of whisky in a few burning gulps. I’m not nearly drunk enough for this.
Dex wordlessly pours more, and now my knee is bouncing under the table where it keeps hitting Dex’s leg.
“You’re so fucking nervous,” he says with a laugh. “Why the hell did you come up with this?”
“I really don’t know.”
“I’ve got condoms and lube,” Dex says.
“Shit. I didn’t even think about that.” Fuck, this is way too real.
Dex finishes his whisky and stands, and the bulge in his pants makes me hard.
He’s as worked up as I am.
“C’mon, Korren. Get your ass into the bedroom.”
I make a pointless attempt at adjusting myself under the table. Then I down the last of my whisky and follow him through the door.
“How’re we doing this?” I ask, staring at the bed. I cannot fucking believe this is happening.
“There’s a bunch of positions we could try,” Dex says with a self-conscious laugh. “Or there’s the classic where you bend me over backward.”
“That one. So I don’t have to look you in the face.”
Dex snorts. “And you’ll have to—uh—start with your fingers. To prepare me, or something.”
“Really? Fuck this.”
“This was your idea, may I remind you.”
“I know, asshole.”
Dex fixes me with a strange look. “What are the rules, then? Clothes on or off? Kissing or no?”
That’s a good point. I could make it fast and rough and get it over with as quickly as possible, but somehow I don’t think that’s going to work for me. If we’re doing this, we have to go all the way.
“I think we need to pretend we’re into it,” I say cautiously. “As long as that works for you.”
“’Course.” There’s definitely something odd about Dex’s smile now.
He studies me for a long moment, and I return his gaze, cock throbbing where it’s trapped beneath my belt.
Then he seizes me by the back of the head and kisses me.
It’s totally different from our first kiss back at the bonfire.
That one was more enjoyable than I’d expected, but he had been a stranger.
Now it’s Dex I’m kissing, Dex who bought clothes for me when I couldn’t afford the laundromat, Dex whose hand fits mine so well, Dex who put up with my bad mood all through our posting.
As he deepens the kiss, all I can think of is getting more of it. His tongue grazes my lip, and I’m fucking losing my mind as I thrust my tongue into his mouth.
Dex fumbles with my buttons without breaking the kiss, so I do the same, and then we break apart for a moment to shed our shirts.
We’re both breathing hard, and when Dex runs his eyes appreciatively down my torso, I do the same.
Fuck, Dex is hot. I think I’m allowed to admit that given the context. For a second I imagine him shoving me onto the bed and ramming his cock into me, but that wasn’t the dare. Focus, Korren.
Then he’s kissing me again as he removes my belt and drags my pants off, freeing my boner to stand as irrefutable proof that I’m into this.
“You’re fucking gorgeous, Korren,” Dex says huskily. He wraps a hand around my cock and gives a tug, startling a gasp from me.
My hands aren’t working properly as I unzip his fly and yank his pants out of the way. I lean forward for another kiss, and this time his cock grazes mine.
I want more of that.
Dex crowds me up against the bed and gives a little shove so I collapse on my back, and a moment later he’s crawling over me.
As he ducks his head to kiss me, he rocks his hips forward so his cock slides against mine.
He thrusts forward, his cock going between my legs, grazing my balls on the way down.
I’m desperate for more. We grind against each other, chasing friction, our mouths moving together as if we’re wrestling. My cock is so hard it’s leaking, and the wetness only makes this more fucking amazing.
“Stop,” Dex says hoarsely, trapping my hips against his. My cock throbs where it’s pressed into him. “You’re gonna come before you’ve even done the deed.”
He’s probably right.
“Turn over, then.” I raise myself off his hips, and he rolls over and gets up on hands and knees. That fine ass of his is suddenly right in my face.
“So, what?” I ask. “I just shove a finger in there until you’re ready for more?” I’m definitely tipsy now.
“Gently!”
“I don’t think there’s anything fucking gentle about this.”
I roll on a condom and squirt a generous measure of lube onto my hand. My cock is throbbing for release, so I shove it between Dex’s legs and thrust into the tightness of his muscular thighs again and again as I bring a finger to his hole.
At first it feels strange shoving a finger into his ass, but when I get deep enough, he gives a moan of pleasure that sends a shiver through me.
“Is that where you like it?”
Dex just groans.
I keep working the sensitive place inside him until Dex is breathing hard, the vein on his cock pulsing. The way he’s losing it is seriously fucking with me.
Then I shove another finger in and try to loosen him up so he can take all of me.
“More,” Dex begs. “Give me everything you’ve got.”
“You ready for this?”
“Yeah.”
I rub more lube onto my cock, even the light touch of my fingers pushing me close to the edge. I bring the end up to his hole and push just enough to feel a tiny bit of give in his ass.
This is it.
If I keep going, I’ll cross some sort of threshold, and there’ll be no turning back.
But right now, with alcohol humming through me and every inch of my body aching for release, I know there’s no question about whether this is going to happen.
Earlier today would’ve been the time to stop this madness. Right now my mind and body are on the same page for the first time in a while—I’m going to fuck Dex.