Chapter 29
twenty-nine
. . .
Rowan
Those five weeks were a lifetime. Excruciating. It was stupid to agree to the extension, I know that now. Three weeks away is bad enough as it is, but to turn that into over a month? What the fuck was I thinking?
My eyes move over the familiar stretch of land, the house in the distance as I pull up my driveway. Violet’s car is already parked out front, and it immediately brings a smile to my face.
Fucking hell, I missed her.
The second I cut the engine and step out of the truck, Violet’s running toward me, her hair wild in the breeze, Bramble bouncing at her heels.
I barely have a second to drop my duffel bag before she’s jumping into my arms with a force that knocks the wind out of me. It’s exactly what I need to settle every restless piece of me back into place.
“Rowan,” she breathes, her arms wrapping around my neck as she buries her face against my skin. She’s warm, soft, and smells like home. That month was worse than the six years apart.
I hold her tighter, as if I can somehow absorb all that lost time in this one embrace. The tension that’s been gnawing at me since the second I left starts to ease, the weight on my chest lifting with every second she’s in my arms.
“God, I missed you,” I murmur into her hair, my voice low and rough. I don’t even care if the words sound desperate, because they are. There’s no way to explain how much it hurt being away from her.
With her legs still looped around my waist, she pulls back to look at me, eyes full of unshed tears that reflect everything I feel.
I lower my lips to hers. The kiss is gentle at first, soft and searching, as if we’re both trying to make sure this is real.
Her lips tremble against mine, the slightest brush of them making my heart stutter, before she pulls me closer.
The rapid beat of her heart matches mine. She parts her lips, just enough for me to slip inside, and I groan at the sweetness of it. Her tongue brushes against mine, slow and tentative at first, but the connection deepens with every passing second, trying to make up for lost time.
Bramble whines at my feet and nudges my leg with her nose. Violet pulls away, her eyes a little dazed. I gently lower her to her feet and reach down to give the dog a scratch behind the ears.
“Yeah, yeah. It’s good to see you, too.”
Violet laughs. “Come on. Let’s get you inside.”
I trail her into the house, eyes snagging on the sway of her hips, the curtain of blonde hair falling down her back.
The second she steps inside, I’m done pretending I have patience.
I close the space between us in one stride, catch her wrist, and pull her back against me until she’s flush to my chest.
“Violet,” I rasp. “I need you.”
Her lips crash into mine, just as hungry and desperate as I am. Her taste is all I’ve been thinking about for a month, and now that I have it on my tongue, I can’t get enough. Her body melts against mine as her hands claw at the back of my neck, nails dragging through my hair.
And just when I think I’ve completely unraveled, she breaks the kiss with a breathless whisper.
“Come upstairs.”
Her fingers lace with mine, and she tugs me forward without looking back. I follow, heart hammering, blood pounding like war drums in my ears. Every step up the stairs stokes the fire inside me until I’m ready to combust.
When we reach my room, she turns, reaching for the hem of my shirt. I let her pull it over my head, her eyes roaming over me. Then she kisses me again—softer this time but no less intense with tongue and teeth and tangled breaths.
I push her hair off her face, needing to see her. “You sure?” I ask, my voice nothing but gravel and want.
She nods, eyes shining. “Please, Rowan.”
She pulls her own shirt over her head, and I have to clench my fists at my sides to stop myself from reaching out before she’s ready.
I’ve seen her smile a thousand different ways, watched her cry, laugh, rage, but standing here, flushed and bare and unafraid, it hits me like nothing else ever has.
She is fucking stunning. Simple as that.
“God, you’re beautiful,” I breathe, drinking her in. The pale blue lace of her bra looks perfect against her creamy skin, and my fingers burn with the urge to follow every curve, every freckle I’ve missed.
She reaches behind her back and unhooks her bra, letting it fall to the floor. My mouth goes dry at the sight of her bare, perky tits.
“Please touch me,” she whispers, and I’m done holding back.
My hands cup her face before sliding down to her shoulders and collarbone until finally reaching the soft swell of her breasts. She sighs when my thumbs brush over her nipples, and I lower my head to replace my fingers with my mouth.
She arches into me, a soft moan escaping her lips as I circle one nipple with my tongue, then the other. Her hands grip my shoulders, nails digging in just enough to drive me crazy.
I guide her backward until her legs hit the bed, my hands working at the button of her jeans. She shivers beneath my touch as I begin to tug the denim down her hips.
Her hands thread through my hair, tugging gently. “Rowan, wait.”
I freeze immediately. “What’s wrong?”
She shakes her head. “Nothing. But we do need to talk later, okay? I don’t want to stop this, but I also don’t want to forget that the last few weeks haven’t been easy.”
“I know,” I admit. “Five weeks was too long.”
She exhales, her relief visible. My lips find hers, and she answers me without hesitation, hands still tangled in my hair as she falls onto the mattress, pulling me with her.
I move to tug her jeans down the rest of the way, watching her eyes as I do. She lifts her hips to help me, the fabric sliding along her thighs until I can pull them free completely. Her panties match her bra—that same pale blue lace that’s been driving me mad since I first caught a glimpse.
My hands trail up her legs slowly. She shivers beneath the touch, and it goes straight through me.
I dip my head, pressing a kiss just above her knee. Then another, but higher this time. Her fingers tighten in my hair as I work my way up, my mouth brushing over warm skin, savoring the way her breathing changes with every inch I take.
When I reach the edge of that pale blue lace, I breathe her in and press my lips to the damp fabric between her thighs. She squirms, hips bucking. I smile, tracing one finger along the elastic edge. A shaky exhale comes from above me before she moans my name.
Fucking hell. Violet Larkin moaning my name will never get old. I finally hook my fingers beneath the delicate waistband, dragging them down with agonizing slowness and appreciating every inch of skin revealed.
“You’re staring,” she whispers, a flush creeping up her neck.
“Damn right I am.”
Once she’s completely bare, I take a step back to drink her in. She’s spread out on the bed in front of me, all soft curves and smooth skin, her blonde hair fanned out like she’s some kind of angel.
“I swear to god, Violet…” My voice comes out in a rasp as I unbuckle my belt. “You have no idea how many times I’ve thought about you, spread out for me like this.”
The sound of leather sliding through denim loops fills the silence between us. I pop the button on my jeans and lower the zipper, pushing them down my hips along with my boxers in one fluid motion.
When I straighten, I notice her body tensing. “You okay?”
She nods quickly. “Yes. Just…nervous.”
“We can go slow. We’ve got all night.”
She swallows hard, her gaze flickering between my face and my body. “I just…” Her voice catches, and she looks away. “I’ve never actually done this before.”
“Never?” The word barely makes it past my suddenly dry throat.
She shakes her head, her fingers twisting nervously in the sheets.
This doesn’t change how badly I ache to be inside her, but…damn it. She’s a virgin. I’m about to take something I can’t give back.
This is Violet, and she’s here. Naked. Willing. Trusting me with her first time.
My chest tightens with guilt, and my stomach drops all at once. Fuck. The first time she’s ever given herself to someone, and it’s me.
Me.
I’m not gentle enough. I’m not patient enough. What if I hurt her? What if she regrets it?
I take a deep breath and slide onto the bed beside her, gathering her into my arms instead of positioning myself between her thighs like every instinct is screaming for me to do.
“Rowan?”
I press my face into her hair, breathing her in. “You should have told me. You deserve something better than me just pouncing on you after being gone for five weeks. I don’t know if I should be the one to—”
“Don’t,” she interrupts, lifting her head to look me in the eye. “Don’t you dare say it. I could have been with someone else, but I didn’t want to be. I chose to wait, and now I know that you are the one I was waiting for.”
I search her face, looking for any hint of uncertainty. All I see is the strongest, bravest woman I’ve ever known. I love her so goddamn much.
“I don’t want you to regret it, Violet.”
Her voice is thick with emotion, but her conviction holds firm as she says, “You’re the only thing I could never regret.”
God. She means it. Every word.
I capture her lips in a fierce kiss. “I’ll try to be gentle. You can tell me to stop at any point, okay?”
She nods, chest rising and falling with quick breaths. “I… I’m on birth control.”
I shake my head. “Doesn’t matter. I’m clean, but we’re not taking any chances with your safety the first time, okay?”
She gives me a nervous smile. “Okay.”
I reach for the bedside drawer, fumbling for a condom. My hands shake slightly as I tear open the packet, rolling it on while she watches with wide, trusting eyes.
Gently, I guide her onto her back, and her legs fall open just enough for me to settle between them.
I press a hand to her hip. “I love you, Violet. So goddamn much.”
“I love you, too,” she whispers.