Chapter Three - Sebastian
CHAPTER THREE
Sebastian
“WHAT’S YOUR PROBLEM? You’ve been in a mood since we got here,” I ask Owen, finally tired of his silence. I thought I’d enjoy the day he’s silent, but I have a feeling I can’t shake that it’s because something’s wrong. Normally he can’t shut up.
He rolls his eyes, picks up his station, and walks away from me to go to the locker room. There’s a good chance this is definitely about Thalia.
Our friendship since the breakup has evolved into this unspoken agreement where we don’t speak of his sister. It hasn’t been a problem until now, but I guess it was bound to happen at some point.
Owen doesn’t say anything until we’re in the privacy of the locker room. He immediately turns to face me, a fiery rage burning in his brown eyes. “Thalia asked me not to say anything, but why the fuck can’t you leave her alone?” he asks, glaring at me, and I rub my temples as I try to think of an explanation. I’d hoped she’d give me a few days before telling Owen so I could talk to him about it myself .
“I didn’t have a choice.” I scratch the back of my neck, fully aware that Owen has every right to be pissed. Hell, I’m pissed at myself, but I didn’t make her answer the phone or agree. Thalia’s a big girl; she can make her own decisions. That’s been made very clear.
“No, you don’t get to play that card because you had a choice. Hire someone else and leave her alone.” Owen glares at me, shaking his head. “Is this your version of a sick joke to punish Lia for saying no when you proposed to her?”
My jaw tightens and I try to find the right words before I make this any worse. “No, I wouldn’t do that to her. Kiera has been begging me to ask her and—”
“And what, Bash? You …I don’t even have the words for why you thought it was okay to call her. It’s not my fucking fault you won’t tell Kiera the truth about your relationship, but it is not fair for you to ask this of Thalia. I know that you know that too!” If Owen were an animated cartoon, he would have smoke coming out of his head. Scratch that, I’d be surprised if his head hasn’t exploded.
“Thalia’s an adult. She can make her own decisions, just like she has in the past. It’s not my fault she has to live with the choices she’s made.” I let my opinion slip, and his face reflects his anger. Yeah, definitely not the point to be making right now. “I’m sorry you don’t like this, but I didn’t make her agree. You have no business getting pissed at me for her decision to say yes.” And he doesn’t. Owen made it clear a long time ago that he wouldn’t get between me and Thalia, but that’s exactly what he’s doing right now.
“Except I do, and I am pissed at you because she’s my sister! You cause her physical pain, Sebastian.” Owen’s voice rises as he grows more upset. “I thought by now you knew that you’re not good for each other, but even asking her in the first place to memorialize you getting married to another woman is cruel. Thalia only told me what you promised her in return because she was drunk on wine and tequila with my wife at five thirty on a fucking Tuesday! For everyone’s sake, I hope you keep your promise and leave her the fuck alone after this,” Owen snaps harshly to me, and the guilt I already felt last night over asking Thalia to photograph the wedding is renewed.
At least last night, Kiera’s happiness was infectious. It helped assuage my guilt last night, but right now, I feel awful.
I don’t know how to make this better for anyone involved.
Owen grabs his bag, shaking his head at me. “I’m not going to tell you what to do, but I think you need to look at the choices you’re making, and think about whether they’re the right ones.”
~
When I get home, Kiera is taking notes over one of her textbooks in the office she’s turned into her library and study area. I smile and hover in the doorway as she pushes her glasses further up her nose. Her dark hair is pulled back in a braid.
It’s funny how just looking at Kiera can make me feel at ease after my argument with Owen. She has this calming presence that makes me want to be around her, but I can’t shake what Owen might have meant by the choices I’m making and if they’re the right ones. Could he have been talking about Kiera?
Zeus must have been sleeping on the ground next to her, but he lifts his head to look at me, the jingle of his tags catching Kiera’s attention as well. “Hey there,” I greet, stepping into the room as she takes her glasses off and sets them on her book. A smile peels across her face, lighting up the room.
“Babe, I am so happy to see you. This class is frying my brain,” she complains as I take a peek at the text. It doesn’t make sense to me, but my degree is also in psychology, not nursing.
“What class is it this time?”
Kiera sighs, rubbing her eyes tiredly. “Public health nursing in a community setting.”
“I would try to offer help, but this is out of my depth,” I say, rubbing her shoulders reassuringly.
“I have study group later, but I appreciate the thought. Oh, before I forget, you need to schedule your fitting for your suit. The seamstress called me and asked, but I wasn’t sure of your availability.”
I nod and spin the chair she’s in around to where I can see her face. “As much fun as calling her back sounds right now, I can think of a lot of other things I’d much rather be doing,” I tease and her pale cheeks flush red.
“Seb, come on. I’m studying,” she protests weakly.
“Take a break, you said yourself that you have study group later, and it’s frying your brain.”
I cup her cheek and kiss Kiera gently as she leans into me, curling her fingers around the neck of my shirt.
Kiera pulls away, shaking her head. “I have to tell you something I’ve been thinking about.”
“Okay?” I say hesitantly, moving to lean against the desk as she spins in the chair again.
“What do you think about not having sex again until we’re married? ”
Wow, okay, really wasn’t expecting that. I try to compose myself quickly, but based on her amused expression, I didn’t do it fast enough. That’s three months.
“I knew you’d be against it, but I didn’t mean to render you speechless.” She giggles softly and I open my mouth, but I still don’t quite have the right words.
I think she broke my brain. It’s not that I need sex, I just happen to like having it with Kiera. It’s like when you decide you can’t have ice cream anymore, but then all you want is to eat ice cream.
Kiera is watching me carefully and I exhale, trying to wrap my brain around this. It’s only three months. “Okay,” I agree slowly. It might be a long three months, but I’ll survive.
“Seriously?” she asks, surprised. If this is something she genuinely wants to do, of course I would agree.
“I think I’m going to need some ground rules. Are we talking like no sex completely, or is oral still on the table?” I ask, watching her face turn red again as she gets flustered.
“Nope. Completely cold turkey. Just think about how much more excited we’ll be for the wedding.”
I look at her skeptically. “I’m already excited for the wedding, but you think I’ll be more excited if sex is on the line?” I mean, she does have some logic there, but all I see in my future for the next three months is a lot of agonizing cold showers and dates with my hand. “If this is something you want to do, then we absolutely can.”
“I promise it’ll be worth it. We’ll have our entire honeymoon to get reacquainted.”
“I predict us not leaving our room. ”
I back away from her to sit in one of the chairs on the other side of the desk as Zeus licks my leg to get my attention. He can probably taste the salt from my sweat.
“How was the gym?” Kiera redirects the conversation, as if we didn’t just discuss how we’re going from having a very active sex life to an extinct one for a while. But at the mention of the gym, I’m reminded of how angry Owen was and what he said.
We hardly ever fight. I think the last time was when Thalia and I broke up.
I once again am too slow to hide how I actually feel as her eyebrows scrunch in scrutinization. “Seb, what happened?”
“It’s nothing. I just got into it with Owen today.”
“About what? You guys never fight.”
I don’t want to make her feel worse about wanting Thalia as our photographer since I already made it happen. As far as she knows, it shouldn’t be a big deal. It’s my fault for not telling her more about my history with Thalia, but I hate to relive it. If Kiera knew that Owen thought having Thalia was a bad idea, she’d back off in a second. I love her, but I know one of her fears is that Owen and Blake will change their minds about her because Thalia is my ex. It doesn’t matter how many times I try to tell her that they love her, Kiera can be insecure at times. I do my best to reassure her, but I can’t erase those feelings completely.
“It was stupid guy stuff. Don’t worry about it,” I try to play it off, as I lean back in the chair to watch her study.
“Are you sure? If you want to talk about it, I’m here to listen.”
“Thanks, but it’ll blow over. I’m not worried. ”
Kiera frowns, but doesn’t press it anymore thankfully as she starts reading her textbook again.
Except I am worried. He was really mad today, and I can’t blame Owen. It was a shitty thing for me to call Thalia, and I should tell Kiera that she needs to find someone else.
I’m an asshole. Owen was right about me and Thalia not being good together. I wanted more and she wanted to stay the same. The best thing to do is leave her alone like she wants after this.
I don’t know if that’s what I want, though. It’s selfish of me to still want Thalia in my life when all we do is hurt each other. I’ve already lost so many people, I don’t know how to lose another person.
Zeus starts to whimper next to me, nudging my leg with his nose for more pets. Kiera looks up at the sound and smiles as I give Zeus attention. My heart races slightly at the sight of her smile. “Make sure you don’t forget to call the seamstress; also, please remind Owen that he needs to get fitted too.”
“I won’t forget, I promise.”
I seem to be making a lot of those these days.
Her phone starts to ring and she picks it up immediately. “Thalia! Thank you so much for getting back to me so quickly.”
My attention snaps up to listen immediately, and Kiera gives me a thumbs-up before putting it on Speaker so I can hear. “Hi, Kiera. I’m sorry I missed your call. I was working on setting up my gallery; we’re opening in a few weeks so I’ve been pretty busy. Sebastian said you were interested in having me photograph your wedding?”
If Owen hadn’t told me that she and Blake got drunk last night then I probably would have believed her when she said she was working. She always got the worst hangovers, which is how I’m guessing she spent her morning.
“That sounds really cool! I’d love to come check it out sometime if that’s okay? I’m a huge fan of your work, like you’re seriously so talented. It doesn’t have to be now of course, just, um, let me know when you’re planning on opening,” Kiera rambles nervously, but the smile of relief on her face is genuine. I feel like I might be sick. I didn’t think this through at all. “I’ve been begging Seb for weeks to give me your number because I’ve been dead set on having you. My wedding book even has pictures from Owen and Blake’s wedding in it for inspiration.”
Thalia chuckles, clearly uncomfortable with the praise. “Wow. I, um, don’t quite know what to say. That’s really nice of you. Penelope and I are here most days so if you ever have free time, sure. I could definitely use some feedback on where everything’s being hung.” That’s code for, Please don’t, but I can’t say no without sounding like a bitch. It might have been years since we were together, but I still know her.
“I have some time this Friday if you’re free? I could bring lunch and we can talk in person about everything?” She smiles at me with a hopeful expression. Oh fuck. Friday is soon. Maybe Kiera won’t want me to go.
“That, uh, sounds good. How does one o’clock sound?”
Kiera fist-pumps, and I can’t help but chuckle because she’s so happy about this. That’s what I need to remind myself of when I start to question why I asked this of Thalia.
“One sounds great. Just send me the address and I’m there. Thank you so much for this. I know it might be a little awkward because you and Seb dated forever ago, but I really appreciate it. I know you don’t normally photograph people, but it just…it means the world to us, and to me. ”
“Please don’t mention it. I’ll see you Friday, Kiera. Congratulations on the wedding.”
After Thalia hangs up, Kiera chatters on for a while about the wedding and how excited she is for Friday. Meanwhile, I can’t help but feel like I was punched in the gut when Thalia said congratulations.
I should have apologized to her when I called. I’m not proud of how I acted at the funeral, so I can’t blame Thalia for asking me to leave her alone.
I plan to keep the promise that I made. It’s not fair to Thalia or Kiera if I don’t.