1. Jasoni Ward
JASONI WARD
Three months later . . .
With my crutches secured under my arms, I hobbled into the house, trying to ignore the pain radiating up my leg.
After being laid up in the house for months, I let Journi convince me to come to a party with her.
Nothing had been the same since that day I pushed Oaklyn out of the way.
My dreams of getting my family out of the hood came to an end in the blink of an eye.
Even still, I didn’t regret the choice I made.
Allowing my head to drop back, I swallowed the pain until it finally subsided.
My journey to healing was far from a cake walk.
I’d never known pain like it in my life entire eighteen years of life.
But I was strong and pulled through, even after the doctors told my mother I might not make it out alive.
Every time I closed my eyes, I was thrusted back into that moment.
I saw Oaklyn’s smile while she contemplated on the question I asked her.
She walked into the street, about to cross it, when the headlights in the distance caught my attention.
Following my first instinct, I shot forward like lightning, managing to push her out of the way.
I jumped, thinking the car was about to slam into me again, but when I opened my eyes, I saw Oaklyn sitting beside me with a hand resting on my thigh.
Unclenching my muscles, I released the breath that I was holding.
My face fell into my hands as I tried to shake off the darkness trying to creep back in.
Everyone thought that, as my leg healed, everything would be fine, yet I felt so far from okay.
The healing I needed was more than just physical, and it was a road I had to walk alone.
And for the last few months, I had been doing so.
If it weren’t for physical therapy, I wouldn’t even be able to move right now.
I liked to believe God had a purpose for me, and that was why He’d been carrying me through this storm.
“Hey,” Oaklyn spoke lowly with her eyes downcast. “I didn’t think she would really get you to come.”
I gave her a nod. “Yeah . . .” When I spoke, she found the courage to look at me.
My eyes roamed over her round face, and I saw the sadness in the depths of her eyes.
I wanted nothing more than to pull her to the surface, but how could I when I was drowning myself?
My attention fell to her fingers slowly curling into a ball in her lap.
I had to resist the urge to cover her hand with my own to comfort her.
Oaklyn came to visit me every day at first, but after a while, I started making my mom and sister send her away.
The whole reason I was avoiding her was because I didn’t want to be suffocated by her feelings of guilt.
It was going to either be me or her, and I made the choice for it to be me who got hit.
It wasn’t her fault, and no matter how much I tried to convince her of otherwise, she wouldn’t let it go.
Now it felt like there was too much distance between us because I was still fighting my own battles.
“Do you want me to get you something to drink?” she questioned with a quivering voice.
I shook my head with a sigh. “Nah, I’m good.”
Silence filled the space between us, but someone put on some music, and for a while, it swallowed the heaviness surrounding us.
While everyone else socialized, Oaklyn sat beside me on the couch, not daring to move an inch.
I hated this version of her. I hated that this was what our friendship had become.
A few times, I’d catch her looking as if she wanted to say something, but in the end, she would choose not to.
Because I was still sorting through my own feelings, the only thing I could do for now was pray one day we could get back to being Soni and his Oatmeal.
Out of nowhere, someone suggested playing Spin the Bottle.
I wasn’t really interested, but they still crowded around the couch in a half circle.
Of course, my fast ass sister wanted to play, and I turned away when she started making out with some random nigga who the bottle fell on.
In the next round, Oaklyn had to spin the bottle, and I found myself holding my breath the entire time it spun.
Finally, it landed on one of my teammates—Savion.
The entire world came to a halt when I saw her lean over the circle to kiss him.
Something in me died immediately. I swallowed the cotton lodged in my throat, thankful that I was sitting down, or I would’ve surely had weak knees.
A knot formed in my stomach as my mind began to replay her kissing Savion on repeat.
I ignored everything else happening around me because it was hard enough to control my breathing.
I knew I technically had no right to be upset since I wasn’t in a relationship with Oaklyn, but I’d long ago stopped seeing her as a friend.
The love I had for that girl ran deeper than I’d ever expressed.
If it weren’t for the accident, I might’ve confessed by now, but again, everything had changed.
Rome’s “I Belong to You” began to play from the speakers.
“It’s our song,” Oaklyn leaned over to whisper.
Unable to even look at her, I kept my chin tucked to my chest. Folding my arms over my chest, I used it as protection against the heat flushing through my body.
I was irritated and ready to go home. This would be the first and last time I allowed Journi to drag me out of the house unwillingly.
Like, I couldn’t shake the image from my mind.
I thought she’d at least have the respect of not kissing another nigga in front of me because, if the bottle ever landed on me, I would’ve told them I wasn’t playing, but clearly, I held her in a higher regard than she held me.
The thought of kissing another girl had never even crossed my mind.
While I was laid up—broken physically and mentally—she was moving on without me.
I dead ass wanted to cry, but what would’ve been the point?
Oaklyn was doing what she wanted to do with her life, and at that moment, I finally chose to do the same with mine.