Chapter 4
Bastien
I didn’t sleep well—and not because I’d insisted Casey stay in my bed while I took the short, lumpy couch. Even with the door closed, I could smell her desire. It had been there since I helped her dress and only grew stronger when she climbed into my bed. It should have felt intrusive to have her in my home. She was a complete stranger, not a pack mate. Instead, the mingling of our scents was alluring. If I’d let my wolf take charge, I would have burst into my bedroom and taken her, just like we both wanted.
I stood up. There was no point in thinking about that. I’d chosen a life free of attachments, and just because a beautiful girl needed rescuing didn’t mean I had to lose my head. I’d always had a soft spot for the vulnerable—a need to protect. The fact that she was also compelling and different from the women of the pack made her novel. My feelings would pass.
No, not feelings. Urges. Like the urge to take her right there on my bed.
I walked out my front door, unable to stay inside any longer. It was early; the sun hadn’t even risen. I headed to the guard post to check in. Those mountain lions could have been a small fringe group or scouts that foretold a larger attack. The last threat we’d faced was fifteen years prior when we lost ten wolves to a fight with a rival pack—my father among them. I wasn’t going to let that happen again.
“Did anything of note happen overnight?” I asked the four guards who had the night shift. I’d doubled the guard in the wake of the mountain lion attack. They were under strict orders to notify me if they saw anything, but it never hurt to check.
“Nothing,” James, the most junior guard, answered. He’d come of age two months ago, and I didn’t know much about him yet. “We checked the perimeter every half hour, just like you said.”
I nodded. Too many recruits were lax about security or had trouble following orders from anyone but the Alpha. He had potential. I’d make a good soldier out of him.
“Your relief should be here soon,” I informed them, already thinking about running extra sweeps of the forest.
I should put Jules in charge of a second unit to cover more ground .
“Great, I’m starving.” James’s stomach rumbled as if to confirm his statement. “I can’t wait to grab breakfast.”
Duncan, who I’d been training for a year but showed less promise due to laziness, chuckled.
“Didn’t that sweetheart of yours pack food for your shift?” he asked, elbowing James in the ribs.
The tips of James’s ears went red.
“No, we’ve only just started dating,” he mumbled awkwardly. “Besides, it’s not Diana’s job to make me food.”
Duncan scoffed. “Isn’t that the whole point? Women have two uses, feeding and fuck—”
“That’s enough,” I said sharply. Conversations about relationships were annoying at the best of times, and this was not one of those occasions. I was the only man in my pack who didn’t want to take a mate, and yet I was one of the few who showed women respect. “This isn’t the time to socialize. Your attention should be on the forest.”
Duncan nodded sullenly, crossing his arms. James stood a little straighter. I’d have to keep an eye on him and move him up the ranks faster if he kept this up.
I left the guard post feeling no less tense than when I arrived. The sun was rising, painting the sky with pale oranges and pinks. I headed home, preparing to ignore Casey’s scent all over my house. The sooner she healed and departed, the better.
My stomach clenched, but I told myself it was probably hunger.
When I walked into my house, I paused as Casey’s sweet scent mingled with the delicious smell of frying bacon and eggs. Casey was cooking in my kitchen. She smiled when she saw me, and my stomach tightened further.
Definitely hunger.
“I hope you don’t mind,” she said, pointing to the pan on the stove with a spatula. “But I figured cooking you breakfast is the least I can do after you saved my life.”
She was wearing one of my T-shirts. It was big on her, coming down to mid-thigh. If she wore anything beneath, I couldn’t see. I had to tear my eyes away from her bare legs. It was stupid—I’d seen her naked yesterday, after all.
“No, it’s fine.” I cleared my throat. “Not that you have to thank me.”
“Well, where I’m from, saving someone’s life is a big deal,” she said with a laugh.
“Where are you from?” I asked, leaning against the counter in an attempt to relax.
“Canesville,” she answered, flipping the rashers of bacon.
“Never heard of it,” I admitted. “Is it nearby?”
She tapped her foot like she was listening to music only she could hear. Her legs were so toned and smooth. I wanted to run my hands over them. My pants grew tighter at the thought.
“About four hours away,” she said, poking the eggs. “Near the Texas border. Do you like your eggs runny or hard?”
“Hard.” I shifted my feet and pointed my eyes at the ceiling.
“Me too,” she said, giggling.
“What?” I asked, hoping she wasn’t laughing at me. Had she seen me starting or noticed the growing bulge in my pants?
“Nothing. I’m just relieved because these eggs are already hard, and you would have been shit out of luck if you liked them runny. Honestly, I’m not much of a cook. My dad always took care of that.”
“What about your mom?” I asked.
I could have kicked myself when her eyes dimmed and the corners of her mouth turned down. It was subtle, but I was well-versed in that kind of sorrow.
“She died when I was really young,” she said, confirming my suspicion.
“That’s rough, I know,” I said, meeting her eyes.
“You do, don’t you?” she said as a feeling of kinship bloomed between us.
I nodded, and her gaze softened.
“How did they pass, if you don’t mind me asking?” she murmured.
“A rival pack attacked.” I curled my hands into fists. “My father defended our pack with honor.”
Casey put her hand on my shoulder. Her touch was warm—comforting, even. I longed to take her in my arms, curl into her, and feel her body against mine. “I’m sure he did. And your mom?”
I pulled away.
“She was collateral damage,” I said, forcing the memories of my mother on her deathbed to the back of my mind. She’d been heartbroken by my father’s demise, and the loss of her fated mate was agonizing enough to kill her.
“I’m sorry,” Casey said, her voice so full of empathy my heart clenched.
The past didn’t need dredging up. That pain strengthened my resolve, and I promised I’d never take a mate and risk them befalling the same fate.
“We should eat before it’s burned,” I said.
“Oh!” Casey quickly took the pan off the heat.
“I’ll get plates,” I said, grateful for the distraction.
I put dishes on the counter, and Casey began to serve the food but winced as she twisted.
“Does your side hurt?” I asked, taking the pan.
“A little.” She lifted her shirt. “But it’s not bleeding anymore.”
I was relieved to see she was wearing panties. Well, mostly relieved. I could almost feel her skin against my fingertips as I remembered the scent of her arousal. I wanted to rip that delicate fabric and bury my face between her thighs—
I shook the thought from my head. Until Casey, my decision to stay away from women had gone untested. I needed to regain control and focus on what mattered.
Her wound was healing well, but it had been deep. If Casey weren’t a shifter, it easily could have killed her.
“You’ll need a few days before you’re back to normal,” I told her.
I breathed a silent sigh of relief as she lowered her shirt. It was easier to resist temptation when she was clothed. It was too bad it was warm out, and I couldn’t wrap her up in a winter coat.
“Your eye is healing nicely,” she commented as she sat at my small dining room table. Our knees knocked when I took the chair across from her.
“I barely feel it.” I shrugged. “It might scar, though. Injuries from other shifters often do.”
“I guess we’ll both have scars, then.” She smiled like the idea pleased her.
“I guess we will,” I said stiffly, trying to ignore my wolf’s satisfaction.
I tucked into my food to distract myself. Casey claimed she wasn’t much of a cook, but that was false modesty. The food was delicious. It was nice to share a meal with someone.
“I had your truck brought over last night,” I told her, trying to focus on logistics.
“You probably want me out of your hair,” Casey said. “I think I can make it back home like this.”
Her eyes were worried, the gray becoming even cloudier. My wolf stirred, sensing her unease. Her shoulders tensed, and I instinctively wanted to protect her, soothe her anxiety, and keep her close.
“That wasn’t what I meant,” I assured her, touching her hand before I could stop myself. “I was wondering if you had a change of clothes in there or if I needed to get some for you. I want you to be comfortable.”
“That’s very kind of you.” Her skin was soft and warm; the back of her hand was enough to send a jolt of desire through me.
It was going to be a long few days while she healed.
Maybe I should lead all those patrols myself and stay out of the house.
***
Three agonizing, will-testing days later, the wound on Casey’s side was nothing but a light pink scar that would soon turn white. She was leaving in the morning, and I couldn’t wait to escape temptation—though part of me wished she’d stay. As much as I’d tried to avoid her while she stayed with me, I was drawn to her. She was intelligent, free-spirited, and curious about the pack. Our ways were foreign to her, and she questioned our dynamics endlessly.
She unlocked the parts of me I kept hidden—namely, my unease with the staunch traditions of our pack. I’d never understood the restrictive nature but believed it wasn’t my place to judge. I was dedicated to keeping my pack safe. Casey’s fresh point of view made me realize how deep my dislike for the Alpha’s rules ran. But our stimulating conversation didn’t satisfy the need to touch her, and I couldn’t help but trace the shape of her lips when she spoke.
I was about to head out on patrol when Jules found me.
“Kildaire wants to see you and Casey,” he said.
I frowned. Our Alpha didn’t call for an audience unless it was about something serious. “Did he say why?”
“Nope.” Jules shrugged. “It’s probably because Casey is leaving tomorrow.”
I nodded, but my tension didn’t ease.
“Will you lead the patrol while I go see him?” I asked, unsure how long the meeting would take. Even a summons from the Alpha wasn’t a reason to get lax on security.
“No problem,” Jules said, clapping his hand on my shoulder.
I walked back to the commune, retrieved Casey from my house, and led her to the building in the center of town where our Alpha held his audiences. Inside, Kildaire was waiting, Tobias at his side as usual.
“Alpha Kildaire, you wanted to see us?” I said, standing a respectful distance away, my back straight, shoulders square, and eyes lowered.
“I hear that Casey is planning to leave tomorrow,” he stated, not looking at Casey when he spoke about her.
“Yes, sir,” I confirmed. My skin prickled as I felt Casey’s discomfort. I glanced toward her, noting how she curled her hands into fists.
“I won’t allow that,” he said.
I looked up, confused.
“Excuse me?” Casey said. “Why can’t I leave?”
Kildaire stared at us with hard eyes. He wasn’t used to backchat.
“I cannot have a pack member’s fated mate leave,” he said coolly.
A growl threatened to erupt from my chest, but I suppressed it.
Casey’s brow furrowed. “I don’t understand.”
“Surely you cannot be this foolish,” Kildaire spat. “The two of you are mates, and Casey will make a fine addition to our pack.”
Casey’s gasp was muffled as if it came from afar. Blood pounded in my ears. I couldn’t have a mate. I wouldn’t allow it.
Kildaire was still talking. “As is pack custom, you’ll complete the mating ceremony—”
“No.” My voice echoed through the round hall. I wasn’t going to take a mate, let alone complete the handfasting ritual that would magically tie my heart to another.
There was a brief, stunned silence. Kildaire glared at me.
“No?” he questioned, a threat dripping from his tone.
“I can’t have a mate,” I said. Not me. Not after what happened to my parents.
“You can and do,” he hissed.
Tobias, the pack mystic, leaned forward in his chair. “I have seen it in a vision. Surely, you’ve felt the draw toward each other.”
Tobias’s visions were never wrong, but I refused to accept his declaration. My attraction to Casey was intense, but I’d never considered she could be my fated mate.
“As I was saying, you’ll complete the mating ceremony on the new moon in twenty days. You will make this pack stronger with your offspring. Fated mates are rare, and it’s even less common for the child of fated mates to find a mate himself. You will serve this pack.”
I swallowed hard as my pulse raced.
“You know why I can’t do this,” I protested. Kildaire had been the one to tell me how the mate bond affected my parents—how my mother had died. How could he expect me to risk the same thing happening to Casey?
“I’ve given you an order,” Kildaire said without sympathy. It was a slap in the face after all I’d done for the pack.
“I’m sorry. Don’t I get a say in this?” Casey asked. She didn’t know our ways. She didn’t understand that an Alpha’s word was law. And for the first time in my life, I planned to break that law.
“What argument could you possibly have?” Kildaire asked. Casey had no idea she was walking on thin ice. I stepped forward, subtly shielding her from view.
“I just—” Casey looked at me. “Bastien, I understand that we have a connection. I didn’t know we were mates. I didn’t even know what it was supposed to feel like.” I gritted my teeth, even as my heart beat faster. I didn’t want this. Casey turned to Kildaire. “But isn’t this a little fast? We’ve only just met. Surely, we need more than twenty days to figure out if there’s something between us, even if we are fated mates.”
“Figure out?” Kildaire rubbed the bridge of his nose in frustration. He was used to total submission. I would have laughed at the way Casey’s naivety tested Kildaire’s patience if my head wasn’t spinning. “There is nothing to figure out. You’re fated mates. Destiny has decided for you.”
“That may be, but don’t I get a say? I’m not even sure I can join your pack,” Casey pressed. I’d never seen someone stand up to the Alpha before. I was equal parts awed and worried.
“I grew up in a human town,” Casey continued. “I’m used to a more—progressive way of life.”
Kildaire’s lips thinned as he gripped the arms of his chair, his claws flashing out and digging into the wood. I only just suppressed a growl. Kildaire regarded me coldly, warning me to know my place, and I reluctantly lowered my eyes to the floor.
“Since you don’t know our ways, you don’t know how important mates are,” Kildaire explained through his teeth. “As such, you will be granted a certain degree of freedom here. Don’t you long for the safety and community of a pack as much as you long for your mate?”
“Freedom? Like what?” she asked.
She was clever. Kildaire wouldn’t like that.
The Alpha’s nostrils flared.
“Once you are mated, you can come and go as you please,” he said as if that were a privilege. This was a pack, not a prison. We stayed because Moon Edge was our home. “Of course, you’ll want to raise your children with the safety and support of the pack—where they don’t have to hide their nature.”
“What if I want a job?” she asked. If my world hadn’t been turned upside down, I might have enjoyed how Casey went toe-to-toe with Kildaire.
“Are you currently employed?” he inquired. Casey hadn’t noticed he was reaching his limit.
“Well, no. I’m between jobs at the moment—”
“Good, then you are dismissed,” the Alpha said.
“But—”
“That’s enough,” Kildaire growled, getting to his feet and looking at me. “Bastien.”
I knew an order when I heard one, even if Kildaire hadn’t said it aloud. When the Alpha sent someone away, they didn’t stick around and argue. I retreated, grabbing Casey by the shoulder and making her follow. I let go as soon as I could.
Outside, the sun was too bright and the noises too loud.
“Bastien,” Casey said, putting her hand on my arm.
I jerked back. I wouldn’t give in to the mate bond, no matter how good Casey’s touch felt. I’d promised not to take a mate and wouldn’t break my vow.
I had to get away and think. I was stupid to allow Casey to stay with me. I should have encouraged her to leave that first day. It was harder now that I’d grown attached. I should have kept my distance while she recovered.
I stalked toward the forest, needing space.
Kildaire had promised to give her more freedom, but I knew Casey would never be happy in our pack. He’d offered nothing but platitudes and conveniently left out that if we completed the bond, Casey couldn’t leave even if she wished to. The mate bond wouldn’t allow us to live apart. We’d be magically tied together, and I was committed to protecting this pack. I wouldn’t abandon them. The rigidity of our traditional roles would stifle her. Whatever she might think, she didn’t want this any more than I did.