Chapter Nine #4
Gage held up a hand to ease her. “I am not looking for a confession,” he said.
“I came to give you one of my own. When I saw you at The Rabbit Burrow, it was as if my eyes had finally been opened. My lady, I have no right to come back into your life and expect anything at all. Even though you do not think we were friends once, I did. I do. I was hoping we could become friends again and mayhap… if I inherit Stagshaw… you would consider me a viable choice for a husband.”
That was it for Wynter. She plopped down on her bum, still against the wall, too stunned to stand. Perhaps it was everything she wanted to hear, but it wasn’t the way she had expected to hear it.
It was a struggle to overcome her astonishment to process what he’d actually said. It wasn’t an unconditional proposal. The man had come with terms and conditions. The more she thought on it, the more baffled she became.
“And what if you don’t inherit Stagshaw?” she asked.
“Then I would be unworthy of you.”
“Then the suggestion of a betrothal is conditional. Only if you inherit.”
“I would have something to offer you then. Without it, I have nothing.”
She frowned. “Is that what you truly think?”
He smiled faintly. “It is what I know,” he said softly. “If Boothe continues as Lord Stagshaw, I will not return to England. I will go along my chosen path. I would not be worthy of the daughter of Ashington.”
Wynter pondered his words, which made absolutely no sense to her. The more she thought on his proposal, the angrier she became.
“Then you want to know if I will consider you as a husband if you become Lord Stagshaw?” she said.
“And if I agree and you do not become Lord Stagshaw, what happens then? Do you simply go off and leave me behind, heartbroken for the husband I should have had? What a horrible thing to do to me, Gage.”
Because she was sitting on the floor, he crouched down to be more on her level. “I could not hold you to it if I were not titled,” he said. “I could not do that to you.”
She stared at him as if he’d lost his mind, her ire rising to the point of shattering her control.
“You will listen to me and listen carefully,” she said.
“If I agreed to marry you, it would be for you alone. I care not for your titles or wealth. You could be a pauper for all I care. It would be you I married, Gage de Reyne, not your possessions. I proposed marriage to you when you were a lonely knight, with nothing to your name, because it was you I loved. Do I still love you? I have always loved you. I will never love another. But for you to propose marriage to me on the condition that you inherit Stagshaw, with the full intention of leaving me should that not transpire, is the cruelest and most inhumane thing I have ever heard of. It means you view me as nothing more than a possession or a symbol of status. It means you don’t want me for who I am, but rather for what I am and what I can do for you. I will not let you do that to me.”
Gage was genuinely astonished at her response. “But that’s not what I…”
She cut him off, roughly. “I want you to get out of this chamber and never come back. Not ever. I never want to see you again.”
By the time she was finished, her eyes were filling with tears and she stood up, turning her back on him. Shocked, Gage stood up, watching her go to the window and struggling not to weep.
He felt as badly as he possibly could.
“I am sorry,” he whispered. “I did not mean it to sound that way. Truly, I only meant to venerate you. You are so much better than I am, in every way. You deserve to be worshiped and loved by a husband and I swear to you, I would do that. Of course I would marry you for who you are, without a penny to your name, but that is not the case. You are an heiress. You deserve a man worthy of who you are. If you thought I meant otherwise, I am so terribly sorry. Please don’t send me away.
Please give me the opportunity to make amends. ”
She wiped the tears streaming down her cheeks.
“The only way you could make amends is by agreeing to a marriage regardless of your future or mine,” she said.
“I would have a husband who would take me no matter what, not tell me he’d only marry me if he inherits or if he is worthy.
You have demeaned me greatly with your suggestion, you truly have.
I do not want to speak on it any longer. ”
Gage sighed sadly. “I understand,” he said. “But I truly did not mean to upset you. I am so terribly sorry.”
Wynter didn’t say anything. She just stood there and sniffled, trying not to openly break down.
As she looked out the window, feeling the cool evening breeze on her face, she could hear Gage moving.
His big boots were making hollow sounds against the wooden floor.
She assumed he was going to open the door, but that’s not what transpired.
He was coming closer to her.
Wynter tensed up, hearing him come up behind her.
The man had a presence that could fill up a room with no effort at all, a powerful aura, so she didn’t have to see him to know he was mere inches from her.
She knew he wouldn’t hurt her, but she was on pins and needles with his close proximity.
Closer he came until she felt him touch her hair.
She couldn’t see that he had lifted a section of it to his lips, kissing it tenderly before laying his cheek against it in a gesture reminiscent of worship.
Or penitence.
He was doing penitence.
“Forgive me,” he whispered. “I did not mean to hurt you. That was the very last thing I would want to do. I am not an eloquent man and it shows. I fear the past two days have shown me that I have always belonged to the woman I used to call my little sister. I have always belonged to her and have only just realized it. Please forgive me, Wynter. I could not live with myself if you did not.”
Wynter’s entire body was on fire as he gently fondled her hair.
Her heart was beating so swiftly in her chest that she was certain it was about to break forth and fly away.
She turned to him, only meaning to speak, but he was standing too close.
He was too near. His full, smooth lips were beckoning.
Before she realized it, her arms went around his neck and her mouth slanted over his.
Gage responded with fervor.
His massive arms went around Wynter, pulling her against him as her lips suckled his.
Or perhaps his lips were suckling hers. It was difficult to know where she ended and he began because, suddenly, they were of one mind, one body.
He kissed her so passionately and forcefully that he could taste the blood where his teeth had cut into her tender lip, but even then, he kept kissing her.
He never stopped. So many things came clear to him at that moment, not the least of which was her.
She was becoming clear to him.
A knock on the door broke the spell.
“Wynnie!” It was Spring, creaking open the door. “Mama is on her way with Autie and Summer. Gage must leave!”
Gage was already midway across the chamber. He had been ever since the knock. He’d released Wynter so swiftly that the woman fell against the windowsill where she was still leaning, unable to catch her breath. But he looked at her, seeing her through new eyes.
Seeing the woman he was becoming quite infatuated with.
“Good sleep to you, my lady,” he said, licking his lips where he was still tasting her. “I will see you on the morrow before you leave for home.”
Wynter, hand on her chest because she couldn’t quite breathe correctly, simply nodded. Not waiting for a reply, Gage quit the chamber swiftly, disappearing downstairs as Spring stood in the doorway, watching him go. Then, she looked at her flush-cheeked sister.
“Well?” she demanded quietly. “Did he speak with you?”
Wynter was dazed but she managed to push herself off the windowsill and walk to the bed on quivering legs. She lowered herself down next to the table with her vellum and quill.
“Aye,” she said. “He… he spoke to me.”
“And?”
Wynter picked up her quill, struggling to think straight. “And it is none of your affair,” she said. “If I want to tell you, I will, but leave me in peace for now.”
“But…!”
“Please, Spring. No more talk of Gage if Mama is coming.”
Spring made a face at her, unhappy that her sister wasn’t going to confess all of her deepest, darkest secrets when it came to Gage de Reyne.
She went out onto the landing where her mother and sisters were just coming up the stairs.
Wynter could hear them as she struggled to get control of herself.
But her fingers flitted to her mouth, still tasting Gage.
She couldn’t keep the smile off her lips.