Chapter Eleven #4
He shook his head. “It is not too painful to speak of, but the truth is that I remember very little,” he said. “I remember golden deserts, great mountains, and an enormous river running next to the city. The Larkana Palace had been the home of my ancestors. It was not built like an English castle.”
“How do you mean?”
He looked at the stone walls around him.
“My homeland was very hot and very dry,” he said.
“These walls are built to keep out the cold, but if there is no cold and only heat, you must build a different way. You must build a castle so that the breezes blow through it and keep it cool, but you must also have the ability to close up those walls to keep out the monsoons.”
“What are those?”
“Terrible storms with rain and wind.”
Emmeline smiled faintly. “It sounds fascinating,” she said. “And these open palaces—what do they look like?”
He looked to the north wall, the one with the oriel window, and gestured.
“Imagine that wall was only pillars to hold up the roof,” he said.
“Usually, the pillars had great curtains that hung between them, keeping out the insects and vermin, but still allowing the breezes to flow. When the weather turned bad, the servants would bring out great panels of wood and secure them across the openings. It was enough to keep out the storm and winds, but sometimes, my father liked to leave the pillars in his istabalja chamber open and watch the storm. My father thought that he was honoring Allah by doing so. If He was kind enough to send a storm, then he should enjoy it.”
She grinned. “Who is Allah? A god?”
He nodded with great certainty. “It is another name for God.”
“And istablaja? What does that mean?”
“It’s a formal type of chamber. A receiving chamber for the king.”
Emmeline nodded in understanding, but she was staring at him openly. Studying him. Addax could see that there was more on her mind. “What is it?” he said. “Why do you look at me so?”
Emmeline shrugged faintly. “Because I was thinking that you should be ruling a million people,” she said, almost wistfully.
“You are a king. You should have a queen and a dozen sons, and your legacy should be secure. I have seen over the short time I have known you that you have strength of character and that you are quite diplomatic. You are wise and curious. You are kind. You are everything a king should be but seldom is. Yet… here you are. Because of greed, here you are. You ride in tournaments. You have no property, no family. I have been feeling sorry for myself since the introduction of that man I was forced to marry, but I realize that you… Fate has treated you most unfairly, Addax. You deserve so much more.”
He chuckled softly, reaching out to stroke her cheek in gratitude, perhaps even affection, before sitting back in his chair. “Do not feel any pity for me,” he said. “It could have been much worse. As it is, I am wealthy and I have friends and I am happy. Truly, there is nothing to be sorry for.”
“That you can even say such a thing speaks well for you. Most men would be bitter.”
“I am not most men.”
“I am finding that out for myself.”
The way she said it was quite leading. At least, Addax thought so.
Was she intimating that she was finding him as attractive as he was finding her?
Or were they simply words from one friend to another?
He wasn’t certain, and, to be honest, he probably should have excused himself before things were said that couldn’t be taken back.
But he couldn’t seem to manage it.
“I hope that is a good thing,” he said, then immediately thought, Why did I say that?
It sounded so… seductive. Alluring. He hadn’t meant it to sound the way it had, so he quickly tried to recover.
“I do not think you’ve come to know my brother.
Essien is a man of character, also, though he’s a bit more emotional than I am. He’s a passionate man.”
Oh, God, why did I say passionate? I didn’t mean passionate! he thought, but Emmeline didn’t react to what could have been very suggestive comments.
“He’s fairer than you are,” she said. “And I do not think he looks much like you.”
“He looks like our mother.”
“What was her name?”
“Kiya.”
Emmeline smiled. “That is a lovely name,” she said. “She must have been a beautiful woman.”
Addax nodded. “She was fair-skinned, with eyes that were green and gold. Very beautiful.”
“Did your parents have a happy marriage?”
“Very much.”
Emmeline thought on that before standing up. “That is lovely,” she said. “I am glad they knew happiness, even if it was short-lived. Some people marry and never know happiness at all, so they were fortunate.”
“I think so,” Addax said as he watched her go back to the table and sit down. “Take heart, my lady. You may be happy yet. Give Max time. He may come to his senses. He would be a fool not to.”
Emmeline sighed as she looked at the table in front of her. “It does not matter,” she said. “We are married, but I will never be his wife, not really.”
“You do not know that for certain.”
She snorted rudely. “And what do I know for certain?” she said.
“That is he is using the money I gave him to pay for drink and for a woman to fuck? Money I gave him? I am not stupid, my lord. I know exactly what he is doing, and I will tell you this now—if he ever tries to climb into my bed again, I will fight him to the death. I would rather die than let him touch me. So, nay—there will be no happiness in this marriage. That has already been established. And I shall go to my grave having never known a loving touch or the kiss of a man I love beyond all reason. That is why I envy your parents—at least they knew what love was. Mayhap it was not for long, but at least they knew it.”
“Emmeline, you cannot—”
She cut him off, though not rudely. “Just… leave me alone now, Addax,” she said. “Please. I have work to do.”
Addax’s gaze lingered on her a moment before he stood up, quite sadly, so very sad that he’d upset her.
He could feel her pain, her angst, with every word, and what was more troubling was that he wanted to do something about it.
He’d never wanted to be Maximilian, ever, but at this moment, he wished he was.
He would have taken Emmeline in his arms, looked her in the eyes, and then kissed her with passion beyond all reason.
He felt a kindred spirit with her as he’d never felt with anyone, this beautiful woman he would have been so very proud to have on his arm.
This is my wife, Emmy, he would have introduced her.
And he would have been the envy of all men.
But instead, Maximilian was married to her. And abusing every second of that marriage.
Without another word, he left the solar, shutting the panel behind him and heading for the keep entry.
But he paused before he headed out, thinking that he should at least say something comforting to her.
Something that might help her at least deal with the bone-crushing sorrow she was feeling.
He’d managed to do that several times before, but perhaps it was needed now more than ever.
Retracing his steps to the panel, he lifted his hand to knock but was stopped by what he heard on the other side of the door.
Bone-crushing, agonizing weeping.
Her sobs broke his heart.