Chapter 19
Julian
“Did you know the entire population of Mars is robots?”
I look away from the drive-in’s massive screen and gaze at my mate.
It’s the first word either of us has spoken since we left that dingy gas station, and I’m grateful for it. The silence was getting awkward.
“Uh, no,” I reply while he shifts in his seat.
“Well, they are,” Aiden states and when he looks at me, he’s blinking just a bit too much.
“That’s … interesting,” I manage. “Thanks for telling me?”
He nods, and the car falls silent again.
“Um,” I start, and Aiden’s head immediately snaps my way. “Did you know most people can’t hum while holding their noses?”
A frown furrows his features before he squeezes the bridge of his nose and blows so hard a vein appears in his forehead. I laugh as he blows and blows, each valiant attempt making his eyes grow wider.
“Damn!” he huffs as he gives up with a ragged breath. “It’s true.”
“I wouldn’t have said it if it wasn’t true,” I reply around my chuckles. He’s breathless, but he still manages to grin at me, and I feel the tension give slightly.
The drive-in is nearly empty tonight, only a few cars littering the old, dilapidated lot. We’re all pretty spaced out, with most attendees remaining with their cars, which makes Emitt, Isabel, and Beckett stand out like a witches’ nest.
They’d set themselves up near the front, where a sizeable stretch of grass waits for people like them—the ones who thought sitting outside at a drive-in was a good idea. But they’re happy there, for the most part.
They’d probably be much happier if we had shown up with their snacks. We’d barely found a space before they’d surrounded the car like starving pups. But that excitement had speedily turned to foul disappointment when Aiden told them we got “caught up” and didn’t have their treats.
They’d sulked off, Emitt muttering not-so-quiet curses, and now here we are, watching trailers for movies I don’t care about, while the elephant gets comfortable in the back seat.
“Alright, I’m just going to start this time,” Aiden says, twisting to face me. Without his shades, his dark eyes are open to me and they’re wide as he says, “I’m sorry.”
I blow out a breath of relief. “Sorry for what?” I ask.
“For freaking out back there,” he says, dragging his hand down his face. My skin heats, but I force myself not to look away. “I know you can take care of yourself, so I didn’t need to get all weird back there. I guess I’ve just been all over the place today.”
I bite my tongue to stop myself from asking why. He’d already said he didn’t want to talk about it.
“It’s okay,” I say instead, because it is. I hadn’t enjoyed the berating in the slightest, but I had liked having someone worry about me and wanting to protect me. “I’ve been all over the place too.” I tack on, spurring Aiden to peek at me.
Peering through his fingers, he eyes me with clear doubt, and my lips curl upwards. “I’ve spent the last two days running away from you, Aiden. I’m a mess.”
“You? Neverrr,” he teases, making me laugh. He stops hiding and lets his hand fall. “I guess we’re both a mess.”
“Yeah,” I agree, relaxing into my own seat.
For a while, the only sound is the tinny movie trailer audio, until he hesitantly asks, “Why were you avoiding me? Really?”
I sigh, resenting having to admit the truth, but I’d run from it long enough. “I wasn’t avoiding you because I didn’t like … what we did,” I clarify, wanting to be absolutely clear about that. “I did. A lot. I liked what we … did—and how we did it. I shouldn’t, but I do.”
He props himself up and frowns at me. “Why shouldn’t you like it?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” I reply. When he just looks at me, waiting, I snap. “Because I’m an alpha, Aiden. Because as an alpha, I shouldn’t be submitting to anyone else. Do I need to spell it out?”
“Yeah, actually, you do, ’cause those all sound like bullshit reasons to me,” he snaps, and I recognise the scent of his anger as our bond warms. “Julian, being an alpha has nothing to do with what you like in bed.”
I scoff, looking away. “Easy for you to say. You’re not the one who-” I cut myself off before I have to voice it. We both know what I’d done.
“Who what?” Aiden prods anyway. “I need you to be specific, because I can’t think of a single thing that we did that you shouldn’t like, just because you’re an alpha.”
Looking at my fingers, I try not to chip my teeth as I grind out, “I was on my back, Aiden.”
I don’t mean to make it sound like that, as if it were a dirty thing when it doesn’t feel that way; even now, when maybe it should. It never felt like something to be ashamed of. And that’s precisely the problem—I’m not ashamed.
Aiden’s focus settles heavily on me, and I hate it, even more so when his hand slides over mine. Its warmth is perfect.
“Julian,” he whispers, leaning closer. “Julian, look at me.” I don’t want to. Goddess knows I don’t want to, but—
“Please.”
I lift my head.
He smiles at me when our eyes meet and that alone already eases the pressure on my chest as he shifts closer.
“Listen, I’m only admitting it this once, so you better savour it,” he whispers as he threads our fingers together. “You are the strongest wolf I know, Julian,” he grumbles, and I can’t help but laugh.
“I’m serious. If we’re talking strength, nobody in my pack or yours touches you.
Your wolf puts us all to shame, and on top of that, that brain of yours makes you unstoppable.
Your pack is a fucking machine because of you, and I know for a fact you’re keeping us a month ahead of where we need to be with our merge. ”
He isn’t wrong.
“You are an amazing alpha, Julian,” he finishes, with the utmost earnestness. “What we do together doesn’t change that or lessen it in any way.”
“But alphas don’t submit,” I remind him, knowing he’d heard the words growing up just as much as I had.
“We don’t, and I-I—” I swallow around the lump in my throat before I whisper, “I submitted to you, Aiden. That day, I let you mount me … I laid myself beneath you, and it’s not the first time I’ve submitted like that.
I always give in to you, even on our first day. ”
One could blame it on the bond or the mate awareness that had plagued us back then. But I know the truth. When Aiden pinned me against the wall that first morning after our coronation, I’d chosen not to free myself because I liked how it felt. And that hasn’t changed all these weeks later.
“What kind of alpha submits to another wolf, Aiden?” I mumble as I drop my gaze.
“Jewels,” Aiden whispers sadly as if my words hurt him, but they’re the truth, and we both know it. “Julian,” he tries again, releasing my hands to cradle my face. “Maybe an alpha doesn’t submit to another wolf,” he says, dipping closer when I try to look away, “but a mate can.”
My heart stutters while the rest of me goes still.
“Mates give their all to their other halves,” he continues softly, choosing each word with care. “They give whatever they can, whenever they can. And if that’s the case, then there’s no shame in a wolf submitting to their mate, is there?”
No, there isn’t. But as much as I want to cling to that reasoning, we aren’t any ordinary pair of mates.
“We’re alphas first, Aiden.”
“No, we’re mates first,” he corrects, gaze hardening as he dares me to say otherwise again.
“Our packs suffer if we’re not right with each other.
So, we’re mates first. And last I checked, we’re the ones mated.
That means it’s you and me in this—nobody else.
” His eyes dart between mine. “So, if you like what we do as much as I do, then it doesn’t matter. It’s nobody’s business but ours.”
“But—” I start, groaning when I can’t think of a rebuttal. “You know it’s not that simple.”
“Why can’t it be?” he asks, tone serious but hopeful. “Why can’t it be as simple as you and I fitting together the way we’re meant to?”
I shrug, helpless to answer when I want so desperately for those words to be true.
“Did you like it?” he asks, his thumbs sliding gently over my cheeks. My eyes shift between his as heat fills my chest, and I nod.
“I liked it.”
“Then that’s all that matters,” he murmurs before his lips brush mine. My heart takes off and struggles to settle as Aiden pulls back. “Nobody else matters, Jewels.” He kisses me again, and I can’t stop my whimper. I feel his smile and taste it too. Another kiss. “Nobody.”
“… nobody else matters,” I echo against his soft lips before I slot ours together, searching for more. “Aiden,” I warn when he draws back, but he ignores me.
He tortures me with sweet, fleeting kisses that make my toes curl in my shoes.
“It’s just me and you, Jewels,” he promises, lips claiming mine between our rushed breaths. “You and me.”
Groaning, I scramble closer, wanting to feel his body against mine, but the armrest digging into my stomach makes sure I get no further. I dig my fingers into his hair and drag him to me instead. Aiden moans as we fall into a deep, unrelenting kiss, as if we’ve done this for a lifetime.
It’s desperate and unwavering, and it coaxes needful arousal to chase its tail.
“Can we—” I start only to suck in a needed breath while Aiden moves his lips down my jaw, making me moan, “—go home. I want to—” He scrapes his teeth against my skin, and my eyes cross. “I want to go home.”
“Too far,” Aiden groans, pulling back enough for me to meet his gaze that’s warm with desire. “And we can’t leave the others behind.”
I glance out the window. Our friends are locked on the show that must’ve begun at some point with unwavering interest. If none of them have noticed the raccoon currently stealing one of Emitt’s cinnamon sticks, they definitely wouldn’t notice us leave.
“They’re fine,” I say. “They have their own car.”
“It’s still too far,” he insists as his eyes track down my body, making my already hardening cock twitch.
“Then what are we supposed to do?” I ask in a frustrated huff.