Chapter 21
Aiden
I’ve never been good at ignoring shit and hoping it goes away.
I deal with problems with my fists or canines, but tearing out my father’s throat isn’t exactly an option, so that means ignoring him, which again—not something I’m good at.
If my parents actually knew me well enough, I’d think that’s why they chose this method of torture.
Either way, I’d gotten an afternoon of peace before it started. Nonstop calls to my phone the moment Jewels and I finished making the rounds of the new packhouse. Then, when I turned it off, the badgering switched to our decaying family link, and unfortunately, I can’t so easily block that out.
Family bonds are supposed to be like the pack bonds, only tighter, sectioned neatly to those who share your blood.
It’s supposed to be warm and full of love—a reminder that you aren’t alone.
Their presence in my mind isn’t warm or reassuring.
It’s an annoying cold stone that grows heavier the more they push against it.
I shove back, trying to force them out, but my father refuses to fuck off.
“You okay?” Julian asks, shifting his book to check on me.
Our latest update? Cuddling. I didn’t even mean for it to happen. I just wanted to make him blush when I’d put my head in his lap and wrapped my arms around his waist. It worked of course, but then he slid his fingers into my hair. Now, we’re the cuddling type.
“I’m fine,” I tell him, grinning up at him.
His cheeks blotch sweetly, but he’s stubborn enough to hold my gaze anyway. “Are you sure?”
“I’m sure,” I say, ’cause I am.
I’m chilling with my mate after a long day, and I’ve never felt so relaxed. The annoying swelling in my mind tries to take that away, but I can ignore it. Or I’ll try to for as long as I can.
“But thanks for asking,” I add, snuggling closer. “It’s always nice when you worry about me.”
Julian’s blush reaches the tips of his ears a moment before he ducks behind his book again. I chuckle against him, body warming like our bond. I’m melting into it and him, and—a pounding in my skull starts to dig its nails in.
My smile withers as my father’s presence blares in my mind like an alarm as he demands my attention.
Fuck it.
What?! I snap. The second I drop the mental barrier he’d been hammering at, the pressure eases enough to let me breathe.
Took you long enough, he snarls with mirrored venom. Is this your plan? To ignore us for the rest of our lives?
If it was effective …
What do you want? I ask again.
There’s a nest.
I stiffen as red eyes in dark shadows flash through my head.
“Aiden,” Julian whispers, pulling me back. His book is closed and set beside him. He’s frowning at me now. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I promise as I plaster on my best smile, but playing this game with him isn’t so easy when every day he claims another piece of me. “My dad’s just bugging me,” I say, tapping a finger against my head as I sit up. “I’ll deal with it.”
Julian’s frown eases as he nods, but he doesn’t go back to reading. His eyes remain on me, watching closely. I keep my expression neutral as I focus on the table in front of me.
How many?
Dean scented four, but I’m thinking there might be more, Dad reports gruffly.
Dean? I exclaim as fresh anger bubbles beneath my skin. You’re all out there?
Yes, we are! he growls back, his anger molten. You would be too, if you didn’t insist on acting like a damn child. Why did you think we were there this morning?
Bullshit. They wanted something this morning. This was only a happy coincidence for him.
Where are you? I growl as I push to my feet
Eastern gate, ready to go.
You don’t go anywhere. Nobody make a fucking move until I get there. I’m on my way.
I cut the channel off before he can reply, and head for the door.
Fucking Dad. Thinking he could lead my hunts, when they’d been mine before I even became alpha. My fingers twitch as I stalk forward. I’d deal with him after. First, the rogues.
“Aiden.”
I stop dead as Julian’s voice pierces my fogged mind. It cuts like a blade, slicing through the bloodlust I hadn’t even realised was crawling over my mind. I turn around and he’s standing right behind me, those blue eyes burning with concern now. Shit.
I’d forgotten about him, forgotten everything after I heard rogue. Meanwhile, Julian looks like he’s ready to march to war with me, even though he’s got no clue what’s going on.
“Is something wrong?” he asks, head tilting. “What did your father say?”
“Oh, no. Nothing’s wrong,” I mumble quietly before shaking my head. Think Aiden. “He wants to see me. I just have to head out for a bit.”
“This late?” His frown deepens. “Why?”
“No idea, but he won’t stop bugging me ‘til I go.”
Lying to him is like drinking poison. It makes my stomach coil and knot as Max squirms. It’s wrong, and my body lets me know that as it physically repels it. I shouldn’t lie to him, not him of all people, but he wouldn’t get it—couldn’t get it.
“It’ll be fine,” I promise, and that’s the truth.
I’ve done this enough times to know how to cover my tracks.
“Want me to come?” he asks with a weak smile that makes me feel like shit.
“No, I can handle him on my own,” I say, returning the smile.
“Okay,” he replies, but I can tell he’s worried.
He eyes me for a moment, and I’m afraid he’s going to try to come anyway, but then he closes the space between us and kisses me softly. It’s not like our other kisses. This one is gentle, like a hug—like support—and I hate myself for not deserving it.
“I’ll see you soon?” he whispers.
“Yeah,” I agree. More poison. “Soon.”
The bloodlust doesn’t return as I race across Black Moon packlands and into my own. It remains dormant, buried under the lies I’ve spilt with every step.
I never had to make excuses about killing rogues before. Ending them was the one thing my parents and I always agreed on. But that was before Julian, who for some strange reason is protective of them.
If I’d told him where I was going, he would’ve been against it, and I didn’t want to fight with him. So I lied. And I know it was my only option. But then why do I feel so miserable?
The question remains pillared in my mind as I approach my pack’s eastern border, where patrolling wolves know to avoid.
They sense our presence and know the drill.
I spot the well-hidden figures among the dark outline of trees, and slow as I shift.
Heads dip wordlessly, my father’s included, but his eyes burn with fury when he lifts them again.
“Nice of you to join us, Aiden,” he says gruffly. “We thought we’d have to handle this on our own.”
“If you had, there would’ve been a problem.” I don’t bother framing it as anything other than what it is. A threat. “I’m the one who approves these runs. So next time, if I don’t answer, you don’t gather. Understood?”
“Yes, Alpha,” they chorus with a nod and an apologetic bow.
All except one.
“Is that understood?” I repeat, taking a step towards him that encroaches on his space.
My father meets my gaze, his dark brown eyes nearly black with rage. Max rises inside me, ready to force the confirmation out of him with claws if needed, but my father finally nods and flits his gaze down.
“Understood.”
I hold his silence a beat longer before shifting my focus back to the others. Dean catches my eye. “Numbers?” I prompt.
“Scented four, heard six, I think,” he replies, and my brows pull tight.
One rogue was bad enough, and any more than three was a pest problem, but six? That many rogues together shouldn’t even been possible. They turn on each other after three, so a group of six was unnatural, stranger still that they were sticking together.
“One each then,” I decide with a nod. “We run the same play as always. If something is off, call it. You do not engage.” I let that one sit. “I don’t want to lose a single one of you, got that?”
“Yes, Alpha.”
I nod, then gesture to the waiting woodlands beyond. “You guys know what to do.”
With my permission, they shift and scatter into the unclaimed woods until the only heartbeats I can hear are mine and the man’s standing in front of me.
Cold night air skitters over my skin as I take a breath and face him again. It’s worse with him than Ma, because unlike her, he’s not blind to his faults. He just thinks I have more of them than him.
“So now that you’re alpha, you plan to ignore your mother and me forever?” he asks, pretending at calm, and cracking the moment he begins speaking.
I choke out a laugh, rubbing my brow. “I thought we had an understanding. I do things how I want, make sure I keep the pack on top, and you leave me alone as long as I keep pretending that I wasn’t taken by—”
“Enough!” he hisses, eyes blazing with horror. And maybe shame. Maybe I imagine that part. “We are trying to help you, Aiden,” he breathes hoarsely. “We have only tried to help you!”
“Yes, because you love me so.”
The strangest thing is, I’m pretty sure my parents do love me.
It wasn’t always so twisted or wrapped in thorns, not before everything.
They were just never very good at it—you know, the whole parent thing.
I had memories of when they were, but those were as blurry as everything else before the red.
“You’re still upset with your mother,” he states impassively, and it’s enough to make Max bristle again.
I am, but I wasn’t thinking about her before. Now, I am.
“I think any mate would be,” I reply, but his eyes hold no remorse.
“Does he know you’re here?”
It’s like a slap to the face.
“What?” I sputter.
“Does he know that you’re here?” he repeats, slower this time, but I can’t reply. I physically can’t say a word; the truth is too much. He nods, eyeing me with something like understanding, before he turns. “Let’s go.”
I watch him leave, following the others, but it takes me longer to get moving.
That look in his eyes—quiet relief, as if I’d proven him right by keeping Julian in the dark—it’s too close to what my mother had been trying to say.