Chapter 24 #2
I don’t reply to that, mostly because I can’t.
Truth be told, I don’t think being attracted to Julian and having an alpha’s libido can fully explain how ready I was to have Julian just now, or how I wanted to kill my best friend for simply being close by.
But I also have no idea what else it could be.
“I guess we’re compatible,” I mumble, and Emitt snorts a laugh.
“You can say that again.”
We roll into familiar lands, and I drop Emitt off at his place, but it feels like ages before I’m free to return home. I get out like some lovesick idiot, hoping against all hopes that Julian is there, but I know before I even step past the front door that he’s not.
My shoulders slump, and I almost whine with Max as disappointment fills us.
Perhaps, we wolves should come out, he suggests, going for casual, but he might as well be holding up a sign that says “trick” over his head.
No, I retort, and the whining climbs to new heights.
This isn’t fair, he argues.
How is this not fair, Max? I collapse onto the couch.
You spend all this time with Julian, but when will I get to speak to Alex?
I frown. When have you ever wanted to speak to Julian’s wolf? I counter as I toe off my shoes. You hate him. It’s one of the things we bonded over from the start.
That was before, Max complains. Now he smells good.
I roll my eyes, but guilt gnaws. I know it’s not fair I haven’t allowed him to have control lately.
Max and I have always had a great handle on things, we balance each other out well. But you don’t let a wolf out when they’d recently become aware of their mate.
Wolves are more … well, they’re more inclined to act on instinct than their counterparts. They’d fuck and bite and mate each other within a few hours. And then you’d be left doing things backwards by trying to build a relationship around a permanent bond.
Alphas were worse, and given the state Julian and I were in, I was in no mood to test what Max and Alex would be like together.
I am not a pup! Max snaps angrily. I have control.
And if Alex strips in front of you?
The silence that follows is deafening.
I laugh, forcing myself up to find something to eat.
I’m elbow-deep in ground beef when the door creaks open and my heart leaps into my throat. Like a trained mutt, I rush towards it and, when Julian steps in, crack a grin so wide it hurts.
“Hey,” I greet, only to waver when I notice the nervous look in his eyes. “What’s wrong?”
Julian sighs and shuts the door behind him. “Nothing’s wrong.”
“Then why did you say that like something’s wrong?” His shoulders slump, and my heart drops. I’m already imagining the worst, and I can’t do anything but stand here with bloody fingers and wait. I lick them clean. “Julian?”
“We’re good,” he says, dropping his bag. “I just wanted to do this later after I had a second to think about it.”
“Think about what?” I press. “You’re freaking me out, Jewels. What happened with Beckett?”
“Nothing happened,” he dismisses quickly. I stay where I am, not wanting to spook him, but thankfully he comes towards me. “We just talked about what went on earlier.”
“Which part?” I ask. I haven’t seen a whole lot of it, but I doubt Beckett and Julian’s friendship runs on the same overly-candid lines as mine and Emitt’s.
Julian scratches the back of his neck. “Every part.” Looking at me again, he adds, “I thought it was weird—how we reacted. How we keep reacting.”
“I guess,” I say, trying to piece together where he’s going with this.
“It just doesn’t feel normal, the way I reacted to you today,” he carries on, and my lips tug at the corners.
“Jewels,” I soothe, folding my arms over my chest. “I know you’re not the most experienced wolf in the woods, but it’s pretty normal to come your brains out when you’re turned on.”
“No, you idiot!” he snaps, blushing. “I know that. It’s different, Aiden, and after you made that ‘heat’ comment—”
I still. “I was joking.”
“Yeah, but I couldn’t help thinking about it,” he admits, moving into the living room and sinking onto a couch. I follow but sit opposite him, giving him the space to continue. “And the more I think about it, the more it makes sense.”
“Sense?” I echo with a laugh. “Julian, there’s no world where either of us can experience a heat. Not when we’re mated to each other.”
“But what if we are?” he presses, looking entirely too serious now. “We’re desperate for each other all the time, defensive and protective too, and the smallest things are making us act like animals.”
“That doesn’t mean we’re in heat,” I protest. “Yea, it’s weird, I’ll admit that. But a heat? That’s crazy.”
“Maybe,” Julian allows with a raised hand. “Maybe we’re not in one—but what if we’re entering one?”
I laugh again, because I have to. Alphas don’t go into heat. It’s unheard of. But the longer I laugh, the clearer it gets that I’m the only one who finds this hilarious.
“That’s ridiculous,” I say, looking at my brilliant, yet sometimes silly, mate. “In case you forgot, we’re alphas. Alphas don’t go into heat. A rut, maybe, but those are rare and only between an alpha and an omega. We’re both alphas, Julian—we’re not in heat.”
“I know that,” he insists, “but maybe it’s different when two males are mates. Or when two alphas are mates.”
For the first time, I notice the nerves behind his solemnity, and I feel a similar trickle echo through me. If he’s right, then this is a terrifying notion. But he’s not right.
“Julian—”
“Come on, Aiden,” he whispers in a near plea as he pushes himself onto the edge of the couch. “Think about it. Think about everything that’s happened these last few days.”
“Work in the pack, school, patrols and—”
“And we’ve been intimate. A lot,” he cuts in. “Haven’t we?”
“Yes, we have,” I admit, wary. “And it’s been great.”
“Sure,” he replies, eyes rolling before they return to mine. “But think about what’s been going on between us.”
I sigh, biting back the urge to dismiss him. He’s clearly serious about this, and the last thing I want to do is piss him off, even if he’s being crazy.
We’ve been the same as usual—sleeping together, eating together.
Sure, I want to rip his clothes off more these days, especially when he wears mine, but that was natural.
He’s my mate—my hot as fuck mate—of course I’d want him.
And yeah, maybe we got carried away in the car the other day at the movies, but we were just learning each other’s bodies.
I hate being away from him more and more, but that’s because we’re getting closer. Though I was chasing after him like a pup. And I did get a little carried away at school. Maybe a little too carried away? Then we almost went at it again afterwards and …
“…Shit.”