Chapter 71
Julian
I fold my waistband over itself as I turn to eye my reflection in the mirror.
I look the same as I always do after a big meal, but it’s been hours since I had breakfast, and nothing’s going down. I blow out a breath as my heart rate hikes, leaving the soft pulse behind as it thrums along steadily.
Pregnant. Of all the madness that had thrown itself at Aiden and me over the last year, a pregnancy had to be the craziest of them all. Like the prospect of eventually having a child didn’t scare me enough, now I’m actually having one.
Are you taking a super large dump or are freaking yourself out again, Jewels?
I drop my shirt the moment Aiden’s voice seeps into my mind and fix the rest of my clothes. When I look at my reflection again, it’s just me.
But it’s not, Alex muses excitedly. It’s you, me, and our baby.
Yes, Alex, I reply as I slip out of the bathroom and walk through the empty halls of the packhouse. I know you’re excited, but can we keep this contained?
No! Alex squeals as he makes mental laps around my mind.
While I remained concerned about the logistics of how this would all work, Alex refused to entertain anything other than his happiness. The freakish child-lover is over the moon to have kids, and that didn’t change just because we’re the ones carrying it.
At the very least, his excitement made it easier to manage the panic spells when they rose up, because it reminded me that I wasn’t doing it alone. Though I suppose I never really was.
Aiden’s eyes flick up the second I walk into our office, and a knowing smile appears on his lips.
“Shut up,” I grumble, and he has the gall to gasp as he glances at Levi.
“I didn’t even say anything,” he whispers to him. Levi bites into his smile but stays quiet while he continues working on his puzzle. To me, Aiden asks, “You okay?”
“Yup,” I promise, sliding into the seat beside him. “What’s next?”
Aiden eyes me, knowing that’s neither the full truth nor a lie, but the bond assures him I’m fine for the time being—and I am.
Every now and again, I freaked out about growing a whole child inside of me since when I shouldn’t have the proper equipment, but then I chilled myself out with reminders that it was all Goddess’s plan.
She hadn’t told me that herself, but seeing as she’s the one who’d put us together and made this possible, it’s what I’m choosing to believe.
“The border wards need to be checked, so we’ll need to assign a team to do that, especially with patrol teams smaller than before.
The healers say the elders are sniffing around about our last visit, and the festival is in less than a week,” Aiden lists in smooth succession as his eyes slide down our checklist. “Oh, and another meeting in five.”
“Oh, is that all?” I retort, and he nods exaggeratedly.
Life as alphas had always been challenging enough, but after the year we had—and the latest predicament with the rogues—the work refuses to stop.
On top of the everyday squabbles and requests that required our attention, there’d been an influx of meetings.
They came one after the other, each bringing with it some new problem to add to all the others—balances needed to be confirmed, population reports needed our attention, new warriors needed to be trained.
It never ended, but I’d take this any day over the storm the rogues had hoisted onto us. The distraction was appreciated as well, considering the things it kept my mind off.
I hadn’t seen my parents since the night we’d returned.
No part of me regretted it. Each day, I thought I’d wake up and suddenly want to take it back, but the relief remained, and I didn’t know if that made me sick or healed. What I do know is that I’m happier for it, and that’s all the confirmation I need that I made the right decision.
A knock on the door makes me sigh before Aiden calls for them to come in. When Emitt pokes his head in, Aiden groans, “They’re early?”
“Not quite,” he replies as the rest of him follows with a maroon envelope in his hands, with a seal I’d recognise anywhere.
My eyes immediately dart to Levi, but other than keeping a wary eye on Emitt, he keeps playing with his puzzle. He has no idea that in Emitt’s hand is the news about his family we’ve all been waiting for.
Silently, I wave him over, and Emitt quickly slides the package into my hand. It’s large—larger than a missive should be—and that makes my fingers stiff as I turn it over.
Regarding the case of Levi Gagnon and the Dark Moon Pack.
Aiden meets my gaze, and in his eyes, I see the same dread and hope I’m feeling.
Gagnon. A name meant they’d finally figured out where he was from. The mention of our pack, however, likely promised scrutiny and punishment regarding our familiarity with Katerina.
My fingers linger on the seal until Aiden whispers, “Open it.”
I oblige, and immediately wish I didn’t.
Earlier this year, a small pack far up in northern Canada had been decimated. Nobody knew until months later, when communications from the pack ceased and a councillor went to investigate, only to find the lands in ruins.
A rogue attack had occurred, and the entire pack had been slaughtered.
What was left of them remained in pieces that would’ve been unidentifiable if not preserved by the ice and snow.
The Council had used them to identify each lost wolf and account for each member of the pack.
They had, for all except one. The alpha’s son—Levi Gagnon.
They’d searched for the missing child for months, but eventually marked him as deceased when every path led to a dead end.
Someone had finally connected the dots and identified Levi as the missing boy, but the news is hardly heartening—because if this report is right, that meant that Levi either spent all that time between in Reon’s clutches, or he’d spent months, Goddess knows where, with Goddess knows who, before he ended up on Reon’s path.
Where our pack was concerned, they went on to congratulate us and thank us for the initiative we’d taken with the rogues. They noted that the Supernatural Board was also impressed with us. So much so that they’d offered a spot for someone to be sent to their illustrious Academy.
They not-so-subtly hinted that that someone should be Katerina. Otherwise, they’d wait to hear how we wanted to proceed with Levi if we did not plan to send him straight to them.
“They’re leaving us to deal with him,” I whisper as my gaze drifts to Levi. He’s still playing with his puzzle, still so blissfully unaware that my heart hurts just to look at him.
“Want me to take him?” Emitt asks, reading our expressions from across the table, and that steals Levi’s attention. He blinks wide, terrified black eyes at us, and my heart shatters in my chest.
“No,” Aiden says, shaking his head quickly as he clears his throat. “Can you give us a second, actually?”
Emitt nods before he leaves, offering Levi a kind smile as he closes the door behind him. With Emitt gone, Levi fixes those dark eyes back on us, and with startling clarity, I realise that we’re all Levi has.
“Come here, Levi,” I call while emotion clogs my chest.
Climbing down from his chair, Levi circles the table without any of the caution he used to have. He all but runs into my arms, letting me lift and hug him with everything I have. My heart hammers against his while I struggle to keep my tears from surfacing.
Whining, Levi squirms in my arms, and I force myself to get it together as I loosen my hold. He frowns up at me, but something in my face must give me away because his frown twists into concern.
“Are you sick again?” Levi asks, and this time, there’s nothing to stop my eyes from filling.
“No,” I promise quickly. “I’m fine.”
Levi doesn’t look convinced, so he looks to Aiden, and so do I.
In cases like this, if we didn’t keep him within our pack, Levi would most likely be put up for adoption to a pack that needed an alpha heir and couldn’t provide one for some reason.
The Council would pair him with a caretaker of their own, who would ensure he adapted well, had a good life, and was brought up within a good family.
If he were left in our pack, a family looking for another addition would care for him, with the entire pack contributing to raise him together.
Either way, there were options to guarantee that Levi was cared for and had a good life, which would hopefully eventually help him move on from everything he’d endured. But which would Levi want?
Did he even know what happened to his pack?
I watch Aiden struggle to find the right words with both of us looking to him, but the way he looks at Levi reminds me that this must be killing him in ways I can’t even imagine.
“Levi,” I whisper, being strong for all of us. He looks at me, and I hate the way he tenses. “You’re not in trouble, and nothing’s wrong. I just … we need to talk to you about where you come from.”
Levi’s gaze drops to his lap, where he clutches his fingers. I don’t miss the moment they begin to shake. Aiden reaches over to slide his hand over them, squeezing them until they stop.
“Levi,” I start gently, “do you know what happened to your pack?”
Despite the way he reacted with every mention of them, I’d been holding onto the meagre hope that Levi’s family might still be alive. That hope falls apart now as I watch Levi’s head jerk up and down.
I hope he didn’t see it. Goddess, I pray he didn’t.
“We’re sorry, Levi,” Aiden whispers, and though Levi’s head remains down, I see the way his lip trembles. Alex surges up, whining fretfully as I hug the pup in my arms.
“We’re so sorry.”
Levi bites down on his lip to stifle his cry, but the tears still escape. I wipe them away, fighting my own while Aiden squeezes his hands. “It’s okay to cry, Levi. It’s just us.”
Levi fights it, refusing to let a sound free as tears silently stream down his face.
Aiden glances at me, and I see the concerns he’d already voiced to me that Levi might be terrified of doing anything wrong. I hoped that wasn’t the case, but this certifies it.
“Because of what happened,” I continue as carefully as I can, “we will have to find you a home, Levi.”
Levi lifts his head so quickly that it almost knocks into my chin. His sorrow is replaced by fear as he blinks those tearful black eyes at us.
“Not immediately,” Aiden cushions as he caresses Levi’s hands. “Only when you’re ready. We can set you up with a nice family of your choice that you’re comfortable with, and—”
“No!” he wails, cutting Aiden off as his already short breaths worsen. “Please don’t. Please don’t send me away! I don’t want to leave! I—I’ll be good, and I won’t do anything wrong.”
“Hey—hey, it’s alright, Levi. Calm down,” Aiden coos as he leans closer so he’s all the boy can see. “Nothing is decided yet. If you don’t want to leave the pack, we can get you a family here.”
“I want to stay with you!” he shouts, and finally, Levi cries.
For the first time since we found him, the sobs he kept locked inside come pouring out. They flow out of him with abandon and refuse to stop. Aiden joins my embrace, wrapping his arms around Levi and me as we hold him through it.
Rocking him gently while we stay close, the way we wished others did before we found each other, and the way we have ever since. We become the protective shell around him that allows him to let it all out until he can’t anymore.
When it’s all over, and nothing’s left, he falls asleep in my arms, his face slick with tears.
“That’s the most he’s ever said to us,” I whisper as I lift my gaze to my mate. It takes him longer to do the same, but when he does, I see the resignation in his expression. I say it anyway. “We should keep him.”
“Julian,” he sighs, but I shake my head against whatever he’s going to say.
“I know it’s crazy, but hear me out, Aiden,” I beg.
“He’s already moved around so much; to place him with someone else would be cruel.
And there’s no telling what he’s been through, but you’ve gone through some of it, too.
There won’t be anyone out there who’s better suited to help him work through it all.
Especially the worst parts—he’ll be feeling it too soon, right? He’ll need someone, Aiden.”
“Julian,” Aiden breathes again, but I press on.
“He doesn’t even misbehave, and maybe that’s because he thinks he has to be perfect, but he’s good, Aiden,” I groan as hope floods my heart, filling the space Levi already carved out without me realising it. “He’s warming up to us more every day, and he likes me. When has a kid ever liked me?”
“Julian—”
“Tell me you didn’t feel the same thing I did the first night when we put him to bed, o-or whenever we sit down to eat together …when he smiles at us?” I cradle Levi’s head to me, refusing to let go. “He fits perfectly into our lives, Aiden.”
I’m panting by the time I finish, but I’m all out of arguments, and Aiden sees it.
“Are you done?” he asks anyway, his expression frustratingly plain.
I huff before I reluctantly mumble, “Yes.”
“We’re not keeping him, Julian,” he says, making all that fluttering hope shrivel up. “We should adopt him.”
My jaw hangs loose as I stare at my mate—my grinning mate, who took far too long to say that. Joy floods back into me, and if not for the child in my arms, I’d reach over and twist Aiden’s ear for almost giving me a heart attack.
He must see it because he laughs a little before dropping his gaze to Levi. It softens, and for the first time, I let myself enjoy the way he unfurls for the pup.
“We’ll do it the right way,” he says. “Through the Council and then in the pack. We’ll make him our own if he wants to be. But—” he pauses to glance up at me again. “We just found out that we already have a child coming, Julian. Do you think we can really handle raising another right now?”
“Yes,” I reply immediately. “Yes, because we want to. Yes, because we’ll figure it out. Yes, because we don’t have any other choice. Levi belongs with us, Aiden, and nobody else.”
It’s a fact he knows as well as I do, he just wants to hear it, and the second he does, hia lips split into a smile warm enough to rival Goddess’s light.
“Then, that’s sorted, huh?” He replies, and I barely silence my scream as I slide my hand over his and Levi’s.
I want to wake him up and tell him that he can stay with us, that he’d be ours and we’d be his, but we have to do this right. I couldn’t bear to give him any hope, only for it to fall through.
We’d go through the proper steps with the Council and the pack, like Aiden said, and once it was official—and only then—would we tell him. But in my heart, and the part of our bond that’s already trying to split into three, I already know that this is it—the start of our family.