15. Sabs
FIFTEEN
Sabs
After eating, the guys insist that I relax on the sofa while they clean and put up my new disco ball.
The more time we spend together, the better I’m sussing out their dynamics.
Adler is charming and outgoing, the risk-taker.
Orin is controlled and disciplined, making the rules.
Luca is the caring one, balancing their personalities.
I don’t know where I’m going to fit into the mix, but I guess I’m going to find out soon enough.
I check my phone to find a text in the Stella group chat.
DELILAH
How’s it going? :)
I snap a picture of the plate on my lap with a half-eaten slice of cheesecake, my fluffy socks sprawled across the velvet sofa, and Gilmore Girls playing on the gigantic TV in the background.
ME
Making myself at home! Their TV is even bigger than the one at Stella House. Movie night goals!
KADY
How is your bonding sickness?
ME
Fully recovered! The cheesecake is helping…
FAYE
Laz wants to meet up soon. I told him you’re not feeling well.
I shovel in a mouthful of cheesecake. Despite the light, creamy deliciousness, I’m left with a bitter taste on my tongue, hating how Faye has to keep what’s going on from him.
ME
I’ll speak to him soon. I promise.
KADY
How is the nest?
ME
They’re installing a disco ball now…
“How many alphas does it take to change a disco ball” sounds like the butt of a bad joke, but the answer is definitely three. After hearing the crashing and cursing when I poked my head out ten minutes ago, it didn’t seem to be going well.
At the sound of the door inching open, I scramble upright, almost spilling crumbs everywhere. “Are you done already?”
“Sorry to disappoint.” Drax’s tone is saturated in bitterness. “I thought everyone was in the nest. I’ll come back later.”
“No! Don’t go!” I can’t keep the desperation out of my voice. He hesitates, one foot already out of the room. “I mean, Delilah made toffee cheesecake, and I can’t eat it all myself.”
Okay, I definitely can, but I still hold out my fork as a peace offering. As his top teeth sink into his bottom lip, I can almost see the cogs in his brain whirring, weighing up his next move.
“I don’t think your new alpha would like that.”
“Who cares what Adler thinks?” I pat the cushion next to me. “I can share my cheesecake with whomever I like.”
A trace of a smile crosses his lips. “I see bonding hasn’t changed your stubbornness.”
“Never,” I vow.
He ogles the delicious slab with toffee sauce and a sprinkling of tiny fudge pieces on top. “I guess one bite wouldn’t hurt.”
I shuffle up to make room for him, instantly comforted by his familiar presence when he takes a seat. Up close, Drax smells… Wow. Last night, I thought he smelled different, but now it hits me in the face, making it impossible to ignore his clean, peachy scent with a hint of sea breeze.
I’m mesmerized as he takes the fork. It looks like a piece of toddler cutlery in his giant hands, but I jerk my focus back to the television. I have an alpha upstairs, I remind myself. An alpha I’m bonded to. I shouldn’t be looking at Drax’s hands and remembering how good they feel on my skin.
“I don’t know what she puts in this that makes it so good…
” He groans at the taste, a smear of it covering his upper lip.
Before my brain catches up with me, I wipe it off with my thumb.
Just grazing his skin causes my body to react involuntarily, the scent of sweet cherries filling the room making my cheeks heat.
Drax’s whole body tenses, as if he can smell it, though he obviously can’t. Betas may be able to catch a hint of a scent, but they can’t smell an omega’s perfume the same way alphas can.
“I should go back to my room,” he says through gritted teeth, yet he doesn’t move.
“No.” I put my hand on his knee, wanting to keep him here, then quickly withdraw it again upon realizing I’ve overstepped.
Why am I getting so handsy with him all of a sudden?
It’s like I can’t help myself. “I mean, of course you can go. If you want. I just… I could do with some company, that’s all. ”
“You have three alphas upstairs who I’m sure would be happy to keep you company.”
“But I don’t know any of them,” I murmur. “Not like I know you. You’re… Well, you feel like home.”
“I guess I can stay a little longer,” he harrumphs. “It’s not like I have any more night shifts.”
“Wait, what?” I frown. “I thought you always did night shifts?”
His forehead wrinkles. “I’ve been suspended.”
“Suspended?” I’m stunned. Drax is someone who always follows the rules.
He never even got detention at school, and he has always taken his security job seriously.
The whole reason he came to SVU was because the criminal justice program is so entwined with campus security that he’d get practical experience. This is completely out of character.
“What happened?”
“I messed up.” He roughly thrusts the cheesecake plate back into my hands. “I acted on impulse and did something I shouldn’t.”
“It can’t be that bad if Orin is allowing you to stay here,” I point out. “Surely, you can work things out. There’s gotta be some perks of being friends with the boss, right?”
“Orin made the right call.” Despite being the size of a small house, he seems to shrink now as his shoulders drop. “I’m not fit to work right now.”
“What’s going on, Drax?” All I want is for him to open up to me.
“And don’t tell me that everything is fine because it definitely isn’t if you’re suspended from work and living with your boss.
You didn’t seem like yourself yesterday either.
” I cross my arms, ready to stay here all night if necessary.
“You can’t hide from me. I know you, remember? ”
“It doesn’t matter.” His lips curve downward, gaze flicking over to my neck. “Not anymore anyway.”
“Please, talk to me.” I readjust my hair to make sure it’s covering my bond mark. “Maybe I can help?”
A bitter laugh escapes him. “There’s nothing you can do to help, especially now.”
“You’ve always been there for me when I’ve needed you.” I take his hand, half-expecting him to yank away, but he doesn’t. Not yet anyway. The muscles in his forearms tense. “It’s my turn to be here for you.”
“Orin’s helping me.” He rips his hand back, shaking his head. “You should focus on yourself and Adler. You’re bonded now.”
“Bonded or not, I still care about you. I always will,” I tell him. “Yesterday was the first time we’ve ever fought, and I acted like a dick. I’m sorry for… being, well you know...” I wave my arms. “Being me.”
“I’m sorry for how I blew up like that too.” He hangs his head. “I went back to the party to apologize and… to talk.”
“You did?” I gaze up at him in confusion. “I didn’t see you.”
“I guess you were too busy with Adler to notice anything else,” he mutters. “Who could blame you? He is the famous Ace after all.”
“I’m here now,” I say. “We can talk. I’m still the same person, Drax. Bonding hasn’t changed me.”
“How can you say that?” His body goes tense, skin turning white as it stretches over his taut knuckles. “It’s changed everything. How can’t you see that? You’re his now.”
“I’m no one’s property.” I cross my arms. “Nor will I ever be.”
“But you can’t ever be mine now!”
My ears ring as the impact of his explosive words drop like bombs.
“Drax…” My voice cracks. “You know, we… us… we—”
“You don’t understand, Sabs!” He’s agitated, knee bouncing up and down, like energy is building up inside him with nowhere to go.
“The reason why I’m suspended from work, the reason I’m staying here now…
it’s all connected. I was coming back to the beach to tell you everything, and what’s worse?
It could have changed everything, but I was too fucking late. ”
“What are you talking about?”
Drax’s brown eyes lock on me. “I’m an alpha, Sabs.”
All the air seems to squeeze out of my lungs.
“An a-a-alpha?” I blink twice. Did I hear him right? “W-w-what do you mean?”
“I presented late.” He jumps up from the sofa and begins pacing.
“I started to get angrier, more emotional. It felt like a beast was taking over my body, and I couldn’t always control it.
” He waves his arms maniacally, gesturing as he talks.
“That’s why I got suspended from work. My inner alpha got the best of me.
I’ve been trying to handle it myself, but I’ve been doing a terrible job.
I beat the crap out of someone yesterday.
Granted, he might have deserved it, but that’s not me.
” He stops, burying his hands in his pockets.
“Orin worked out what was happening. He took me to the pharmacy this morning to get the right medication.”
The whole room is spinning. I’m glad I’m sitting down; otherwise, I may faint. “So that’s why you’re here?”
“Orin thought a pack environment would help me out. He’s dealt with late-presenting alphas in the military before, but I never expected…” He pinches the bridge of his nose. “You to be here.” He swallows hard. “With him.”
“Drax…” I spring from the sofa and wrap my arms around him. It’s probably not the right thing to do, but I don’t know what else I can do. I need to be close to him. Need to let him know that I’m here. “You shouldn’t have had to go through all of this alone.”
He freezes in place, arms pressed to his sides before they cautiously close around me.
His inked arms feel like a safe haven. Familiar yet different.
He strokes my hair, the way he always has, and I melt into him.
While being with Adler feels like fireworks, Drax provides a quiet steadiness that makes me feel at home.
The Gilmore Girls theme tune sounds faraway, a new episode starting as I bury my face into his chest.
If Drax had found me last night, would I even be here right now?
I look up at him, cupping his lightly stubbled face with one hand and stroking along his chiseled jawline with the other. He rubs his cheek into my palm, his scent growing more potent. It begins to fill the room, making me sway.
“But you’re bonded now,” Drax groans, his muscled body pressing against me.
I should step away from him. I know I should. My body is still adjusting to my bond with Adler, but my heart is beating for Drax right now. His presence is solid, being around him as natural and easy as breathing.
How many times have I wished that he was an alpha because it would make life easy? Is this a sign that he was meant to be mine all along?
I lean in while he holds in a breath, the air thick with our scents as my lips brush against his.
He tastes like toffee cheesecake, and for a second, we’re not standing in the Strike Pack’s mansion; we’re back home.
We’re two teens making out in the bathroom during one of Drax’s mom’s parties, not wanting the night to end.
Drax releases a low growl from the back of his throat, a sound that vibrates straight through me. As our kiss deepens, I claw at his shirt, overcome with a desperate need that I can’t satiate.
I’ve always tried to keep Drax at arm’s length to protect him. I should probably do that now more than ever, yet I can’t stop myself. Last night only showed me how terrified I am of truly losing him, and I want to cling on stronger than before, even though I’ve tied myself to another alpha forever.
I push Drax back onto the sofa then climb onto his lap, grinding all over him and moaning at how good his hard bulge feels between my legs. He catches my bottom lip between his teeth, tugging as I jut my hips.
“Sabs.” He leaves my lips tingling. “I can… smell… him on you.” His jaw tenses. “It’s driving me crazy.”
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, nuzzling into his neck, coating him with my scent, wanting—no, needing—him to smell like me. “I’m sorry for pushing you away. I’m sorry for not being there. I’m just so fucking sorry. For all of it.”
“Would it have changed anything?” He doesn’t break eye contact. “If I had told you last night what I really was?”
I don’t have an answer for him. The truth is, I have no idea what might have happened. Whatever I say won’t change anything. An awkward silence stretches between us.
I didn’t even notice that the banging upstairs had stopped until, seconds later, Adler bursts into the room with the force of a freight train.
“Sabs?” Adler’s voice is a low, rumbling growl. “What…?”
I clumsily clamber off Drax’s lap as he stands, drawing himself up to full height, by my side. Instead of backing away, his chest puffs out in a challenge as he wraps his arm around my shoulders.
Adler’s eyes home in on Drax’s hand on me. His citrus scent turns sharp, like a bitter lemon, stinging my nostrils and making the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. “What the fuck is this?”
Along with his searing anger, I also feel a jagged bolt of Adler’s pain lance through our bond, making me wince. I hurt my alpha.
“I…” I don’t complete my thought, distracted by the sight of Orin and Luca over Adler’s shoulder. “I can explain.”
Although I’m not sure whether any explanation will be enough to stem the red-hot rage rushing through him.