Chapter 2 - Joshua
Kira Smithson stood near Gwen and Rafael, Lianne in her arms as the young girl squealed with delight and thanked her for whatever gift she’d just been given.
Kira wore a powder-blue blouse that highlighted her creamy complexion.
Her black hair was twisted into a bun, and she wore a string of pearls.
If he was honest, Joshua didn’t particularly like it when Kira put her hair up.
He understood. He couldn’t stand to have his own hair touch his neck, and hers had lovely Irish curls that could get quite frizzy in the humidity of the island.
Still, he liked to see when it did curl, rather than having it captured so tightly as it was.
Not that he’d tell her that. He could well imagine the disgust she’d fling at him for daring to comment on her appearance.
“Maybe dinner?” a voice said at his elbow.
Joshua blinked, turning toward the woman. She had sleek red curls and a too-bright smile. Her green eyes darted toward Kira, her annoyance obvious.
What had she been saying? Joshua quickly charted the conversation he hadn’t been paying attention to.
Right. She’d just gotten a new dress, but she had nowhere to wear it.
It was the latest in the long line of flirtatious quips.
Now she’d decided to abandon the coy approach and outright state what she wanted.
It had been a bad idea to let her touch him yesterday.
He’d just come back from a patrol with the special ops as they looked for any signs of demon activity.
This woman, Poppy, he thought her name was, had been at the park, wearing skintight jogging gear and looking as though she’d picked the spot specifically to pick him up.
His wolf growled lightly in his chest. It tolerated him sleeping around only because Kira wasn’t an option. But to be so close to another woman with Kira in the same room? It wasn’t having any of this.
As though drawn by his thoughts, Kira glanced over at him.
The disgust was written heavily on her face, making him flinch.
She looked away too quickly to see the flinch.
He wished she would look a little longer.
Wished her harsh expression would soften and she’d crook a finger at him, inviting him closer.
No.
No, he didn’t wish that at all.
He was glad that she kept him far away from her. There was nothing between them. Nothing could be between them. Keeping his distance was best for both of them. If Kira softened toward him, he wouldn’t be strong enough to keep this barrier in place.
“Joshua?” Poppy said. Her lips were tilted downward.
“I thought I was clear yesterday,” Joshua said, trying not to look at Kira. He’d been allowing a lot of contact—too much, really—until he happened to have glanced behind him just in time to see the back of Kira’s head in Gwen’s car.
Poppy was pretty. There was physical attraction there. Joshua couldn’t lie about that. But with Kira this close? Physical attraction wasn’t enough.
“Yesterday? You said that you were too busy. I thought…” Poppy’s shoulders hunched as she bit her lip. Her cheeks turned pink.
And there he went, being an asshole again. Joshua fought not to kick himself. He let out a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry that I wasn’t clearer, and I apologize for leading you on. There are plenty of men on the island. You’ll find your true mate, Poppy.”
She stiffened and let out a small huff. “My name is Cassandra.”
Joshua grimaced. “You look like a Poppy with your hair.”
But she wasn’t having it. She turned on her heel and flounced away. She was, apparently, the aunt to Lianne’s BFF Julia. Or was it Jane? No! Jewel. Right.
Joshua took a deep breath, masking the fresh irritation with a calm demeanor.
Given his career path, going from this place to the military to starting a tech business with his two best friends, he should be better with names than he was.
However, there was a reason why Rafael and Michael never allowed him to take on any people-facing tasks.
He just wasn’t good with people. He was more likely to insult a person than form any sort of connection.
Women, being people, were the same. The biggest difference was that he always had someone trying to impress him when they discovered how wealthy he was.
Apparently, they could stomach him for short amounts of time so long as the dollar signs were right.
Though there were others, as Poppy—Cassandra—had just proven who didn’t care how much was attached to his name and wouldn’t put up with his bullshit.
Kira was one of those women. Oh, she most certainly did not put up with his bullshit. The only problem was that if she was in the room, she consumed every spare bit of his attention.
It was madness. Kira had made it very clear that she wanted nothing to do with him.
If her actively ignoring him wasn’t good enough, the few times when they were forced to interact, she was hostile toward him.
The way she looked at him made it clear that whatever soft feelings she might have had toward him once were long gone.
And that was a good thing. It was what he wanted, for her to be repulsed by him. So, it was only the gentlemanly thing to do to respect her disinterest. He needed to keep his distance and not start boiling with jealousy whenever he thought about her with another man.
His hand clenched into a fist as his wolf growled.
Quickly, he turned away and stalked to the other side of the room, fighting to get himself back under control.
Wasn’t that one of the reasons why he went after other women?
Making a display of it so that Kira would see it and know that she had every right to find pleasure and love wherever it might come from?
Doesn’t make it any easier, Joshua thought, running a hand through his hair.
His agitation was becoming too visible. He needed to get himself under control.
This was Lianne’s birthday party. She might be distracted playing with her friends, but she was also perceptive.
If she sensed something was wrong, it would ruin her party.
Joshua stole another look at Kira. She was looking at him again.
This time, he met her eye. They looked at each other for a long moment, long enough for Joshua’s wolf to start urging him over toward her, for his heart to start beating faster.
It was almost as though there was a softening in her gaze—
No, he reminded himself sharply.
Kira looked away quickly. She leaned in close to Gwen, whispering something to her.
Gwen looked disappointed, glanced at Joshua, then nodded.
Joshua turned his face away, still watching from the corner of his eye.
As Kira grabbed her purse and moved toward the door, Rafael stepped up beside Joshua.
He blocked Joshua’s vision long enough for Kira to disappear.
“Can you at least try not to look like such a grumpy asshole?” Rafael asked mildly.
Joshua winced. “Am I ruining the party?”
“Not yet.”
Joshua tried to school his expression. “Sorry,” he muttered.
Rafael bumped his shoulder. “You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to. You can stop by later to give Lianne her gift.”
It was tempting. Joshua wasn’t one for parties, and having so many kids around was pretty overwhelming.
They were high-energy, and it was a party.
Of course they were going to be loud and excited.
He didn’t want to dampen their enjoyment by demanding they all be quiet just because he wasn’t used to being around this many kids.
“You sure?” he asked anxiously. “You don’t think Lianne will be upset if Kira and I both leave?”
“Kira left?” Rafael asked in surprise.
Joshua shrugged, annoyed that he seemed to be the only one who noticed.
He felt his face twist into a scowl. It certainly didn’t help with the ‘grumpy asshole’ persona.
In the business world, he’d managed to use it to his advantage in the few times when he had interactions with others.
He channeled it into a confident and no-nonsense demeanor.
Keeping it in short bursts worked for him.
There were people out there who thought he was simply a hard-driven businessman.
But if they were ever to spend a long length of time with him, that would probably change. Certainly, if they ever asked Kira, she would have something entirely different to tell them. She’d be more than happy to explain just how much of a raging asshole he was.
She’d be right. He was a complete asshole to her. He had to be, again, because he didn’t have the strength to stay away from her if she so much as crooked her finger toward him.
“I think I’d better go,” Joshua muttered to Rafael. His mood was only getting darker. He didn’t want to risk losing his cool at a child’s birthday party.
Fuck, he thought, then felt badly for swearing in front of the children, even if he didn’t swear out loud. I shouldn’t have come. I could have dropped the present off later. Or something.
He had thought that when Rafael and Gwen invited him, he’d be doing something useful. Staying in the kitchen, washing dishes, or monitoring the safety of the bouncy castle. Something besides standing on the sidelines, trying to avoid awkward small talk with the other adults. Not this.
Rafael gave him a sympathetic look and nodded once. “Go on. If Lianne asks, I’ll tell her you got called away. You want to take your present to bring back later?”
“Nah, it’s fine. She can just open it,” Joshua answered, shuffling for the door.
Cassandra looked his direction briefly and seemed for an instant to wonder whether she was going to forgive his behavior and go after him.
Apparently, she decided on the negative because she scoffed and turned back to whatever problem her niece was having.
Good. Joshua didn’t have it in him to work up a polite way to discourage her.
As Joshua left the house, he breathed out a long sigh of relief mingled with regret. Of course, his mind was still full of Kira. Beautiful, smart, and determined Kira.
It was all his fault, of course.
He had been young. Not really ‘impulsive’, but he hadn’t thought through his actions.
All he’d known was that he wanted to be with her.
And when they had come together, it was more than he could resist. He’d lost his virginity to Kira Smithson, and as soon as it was over, he knew he’d made a mistake.
He put her in danger, and so he had to reject her.
Yes, it had been in the worst way possible, and he still winced when he thought of the look on her face afterward.
But it had been necessary. Being with him would only end badly for her.
He wasn’t going to put her in more danger than he already did.
Joshua ran his hand through his blond hair, trying to pull his thoughts away from all the reasons why he couldn’t go to her.
If he thought too much about that, then he would end up trying to argue himself into finding ways where they could be together, and that just wouldn’t do.
His feelings in the matter were immaterial.
No matter how much he longed to explain, to beg forgiveness and have her in his life again.
He would rather spend an eternity like this, aching at the sight of her, trying in vain to fill the space in his life that was shaped in her figure, than put her in danger again.
She was safe and happy without him. Her sister was doing well; she was well-cared for between her job and Gwen.
The pack treated her with more respect since the social programs he, Rafael, and Michael introduced.
She was better off without him. It had been a mistake to sleep with her in the first place, a mistake he damn well was not going to repeat.
When he thought about that night, he could only curse himself. What if she’d ended up pregnant? He hadn’t used protection. Hadn’t even thought about it. Thank the Goddess that he didn’t impregnate her. Otherwise, she would already be—
No.
Joshua growled at himself, shaking his head hard as he headed for his house.
It was a lovely day, just as the cooler months were getting underway.
Nightfall was at the southernmost point of the country, and the weather was balmy year-round, but they would be getting some more storms here soon.
Right now, the weather was brilliant, but throughout town, measures were being taken to prepare for the eventual storms. They were behind on the work, what with the continued demon threat.
He concentrated on this, making lists of what he needed to check up on as he walked.
It was enough to push Kira to the back of his mind.
There were a few buildings in town that needed new roofing.
He would bring it up in the next meeting and see what they had for the budget.
With paying the special ops’ wages, their town coffers were strained, so he might go ahead and infuse some of his own money—
Kira.
She stood outside the bookstore, her arms wrapped around her middle.
Her back was to him, but he could see her face reflected in the window.
Her eyes were soft, her lips pressed slightly together.
She looked so utterly alone that his wolf instantly turned its feet toward her.
A car whipped by in front of him, just before he stopped in the street.
No, he told himself.
He turned on his heel and marched in the opposite direction, hoping she wouldn’t notice him. She was only lonely right now because Chelsey had just left the day before. That was all. She had a friendship with Gwen, which was more than she had had for years.
Gwen is busy with Rafael and Lianne.
Ah, but Lianne loved Kira. There was no reason for Joshua to think she would welcome him running over to her, falling to his knees, and begging for her forgiveness.
No. No, he wasn’t going to break just because she looked sad. It was temporary. Everyone got sad sometimes.
His phone started to ring, and Joshua fished it out of his pocket, glad for the interruption. He grimaced when he saw who was calling, but answered anyway. “Elder Priest Thera. What can I do for you?” he asked respectfully.
“Get to the town hall. The Elder Council has gathered more information about witches, and we need to speak with you. Now, Mr. Woods,” she said, as though sensing his protests. “There can be no delay.”