Chapter 10 - Joshua
He shouldn’t be doing this. Hadn’t he been telling himself over and over all the reasons why he needed to keep his distance? Being physical with Kira was out of the question. Kissing led to sex, and sex inevitably led to babies. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t let himself get carried away.
But her lips were so soft.
Joshua groaned as he pulled Kira closer.
The world disappeared around them as one hand tangled into her hair, the other wrapping around her waist. She melted against him, their bodies perfectly melding to each other’s shape.
Her soft body pressed up against him, and a thrill shot through him from crown to soles as she cupped his face with one hand.
The other moved down his side, ghosting over his ribs and to his hip, where she traced the waistband of his jeans.
Her touch was feather-light. It elicited tingles throughout his body.
Kira ground her hips to him, and Joshua’s hand trailed down her thigh. He hitched her knee over his hip and thrust against her. His cock hardened between them.
“Wait,” Kira murmured. Her hands moved again, pressing to his chest.
“Kira,” Joshua groaned. “Kira, I need—”
“Wait!” She pushed against him.
Joshua loosened his grip on her. She pushed him further back.
Her cheeks were red, eyes bright and wide.
Her lips opened slightly, her chest rising and falling quickly.
The heat of her palms seeped into his shoulders, her fingers digging in slightly as though she wasn’t sure if she wanted to pull him closer or shove him away entirely.
Having been so close, his wolf was going wild. He wanted more. Needed more. He couldn’t catch his breath; the desire to have her closer pounded against his chest.
“Kira, please. I want you,” he breathed.
“N-no,” Kira whimpered.
That simple, single word made the air catch in his lungs.
He searched her face. She’d kissed him back.
She had pressed herself up against him. She wanted him, too.
He could see in the way her pupils widened, the way even now she kept swaying closer toward him as though she couldn’t quite control herself.
“Kira—”
“No!” She shoved him hard, making him stumble back. She spun on her heel and dashed toward the door. Joshua stood in shock for a moment, uncertain what was going on. It wasn’t until the door slammed behind her again did he realize she was really leaving.
His wolf was frozen in his chest, but Joshua’s feet moved on their own. He sped after her, throwing open the door just in time to see her speed off in his car.
“Kira!” he yelled as he chased after her, feet hitting the sidewalk hard.
She lurched forward, then slowed down to the speed limit.
If Joshua hadn’t been so distraught, he might have found it amusing.
As it was, he pushed himself harder, trying not to lose sight of her as she turned around a corner.
Was she leaving town? Did she still not believe how dangerous it was?
She took another left, and he nearly lost her, but he leapt over the hedge, across a porch, and burst through the alley in the back to cut back to the road, hitting it just after she passed.
She was going to Gwen and Rafael’s house.
Of course! He ducked through a few more yards, angling his direction toward the Alpha’s house.
He emerged from an alley just as Kira parked the car.
She left the door open, engine running, as she darted up the walk.
Gwen was already waiting for her and ushered her in, shooting Joshua a dirty look as he crossed the street.
Chest heaving, he took a moment to turn off the car and leaned against it, catching his breath.
When he straightened, Gwen was still standing on the front step, but the door had been shut behind her. Her arms were folded over her chest, and she glared at him.
No doubt Kira had called her on the drive over here. But what version of events had she told Gwen?
Joshua walked up the drive, his wolf batting at his ribs. It wanted to get to their mate, to reassure her and protect her. It didn’t realize that she was running from him. As he drew up to the step, Gwen lifted one hand.
“Stop right there,” she ordered.
He forced himself to obey, despite wanting to rush into the house and demand that Kira listen to him.
“Kira needs space,” Gwen said, her tone matter-of-fact. “And so she’ll be staying with me for a few days.”
“I need to talk to her.”
Gwen shook her head. “She’ll talk when she’s ready. I won’t pretend that I understand everything she was telling me, but I do know she’s upset, and you can’t strong-arm someone into wanting to talk to you. Besides, Lianne is at home, and I’m sure you don’t want her to see you two arguing.”
Joshua winced. That was true. He didn’t want to argue in front of her, and he was pretty sure Kira wouldn’t want to go anywhere with him.
He ran a hand through his hair, hating the situation.
Was this all his fault? Could he have prevented his current turmoil by not kissing her?
Or was it something even deeper, a simmering pot that had boiled over with unresolved feelings?
“I don’t mean to strong-arm her,” he finally said. “But you have to understand, she’s in danger. The demons are after her.”
Gwen frowned at him. “Then you should be happy that she’s here, where I have extra protections around the house.”
“Except she won’t stay inside the protections. She—”
“So you want to keep her a captive in your house?”
“I want to keep her protected.” His heart twisted as he spoke. “It’s dangerous out there. And she doesn’t believe me when I say the demons are after her.”
Gwen studied him for a moment, then said, “You’re not being protective, Joshua. You’re being controlling. And in doing so, you’re making her even less safe.”
Joshua opened his mouth to argue, but stopped.
“There’s a reason she was keeping her magic a secret, and you told the entire Council something she wasn’t ready for them to hear. Do you think they’ll keep it to themselves? As word of this gets out, those pack members that already don’t accept her will only grow more hostile.”
Joshua’s heart sank. “That wasn’t my intention.”
“And yet, that is the result.” Gwen shook her head. “Give her space. She’ll talk to you when she’s ready. If you keep pushing, it will only get worse.”
Joshua forced himself to take a step back. Then another.
Gwen watched him until he reached the end of the walk.
Then she slipped back inside. Joshua caught sight of the curtain twitching, briefly revealing Kira’s face.
He wanted to go to her, but instead slid into his car.
Give her space. He could do that. He only prayed she would keep herself safe in the meantime.
***
Rafael closed the door to Joshua’s office and gave him a pitying look. “So I hear that you’ve been something of a rat bastard.”
Joshua leaned back in his office chair, grimacing. “You spoke with Gwen.”
“She had to tell me that, apparently, Kira has moved in with us for the foreseeable future.” Joshua swung an extra chair closer to the desk and sat backwards on it, resting his arms on the back. “Plus, it’s been spreading like wildfire through the town that she’s able to perform spells.”
And there were the consequences of his actions.
Joshua ran his hands over the stubble on his cheeks and chin, regretful.
He hadn’t been thinking about the reasons why Kira would keep her magic a secret when he told the council.
Hell, he didn’t even think about how she was keeping it a secret.
It was the reason the demons were coming after her, the reason he needed to protect her.
“I wasn’t trying to be a rat bastard,” Joshua grumbled.
Rafael grunted.
Joshua let his hands drop. “Gwen told me I wasn’t being protective, I was being controlling. And now that I’ve had time to think about it, I know she was right. It’s just that nobody seems to believe that I saw that demon.”
“Josh, we believe you. I’m sorry that I wasn’t clear about that,” Rafael said gently. “I fully believe that there was a demon at the beach. That being said, I think you’re letting your fears get the best of you. And I don’t mean the fears about the demons. Have you told her yet?”
“No. The timing wasn’t wrong. And now she doesn’t want to talk to me at all.”
Rafael studied him for a moment. “You know I fucked up badly with Gwen at first.”
Joshua snorted. “That’s true.”
“She and Kira are going to train at one of the beaches. They’ve put up special protections,” he added as Joshua tensed. “I asked Kira about it, and she says she’ll be okay with you coming to watch so long as you don’t intervene or try to convince her to go back to your place.”
Hope blossomed in his chest. “I thought she needed me to keep my distance.”
“She needs you to listen. To prove yourself.”
“How?” Joshua asked, hating the desperation in his own voice.
Rafael shook his head. “You’re the kind of guy that likes to plan for all variables, but that doesn’t leave a lot of flexibility.
You can’t control this situation, Josh. You have to be okay with standing back and letting her take the lead.
Look at what she wants. And let her take the steps she needs to. ”
So, basically, just let her put herself in danger. Joshua gripped his hair, groaning. No, not let her put herself in danger. Stand with her so that if she ended up in danger, he could be there to help her.
He could do that.
Right?
***
Joshua stood in his wolf form, his back toward the beach as he faced the sea. He had thought he’d seen a flicker of shadow in the water, but there didn’t seem to be anything now. There was no sense of dark energy, though the sensations of magic behind him might be blocking out everything else.
Up on the beach, within a protective dome of magic, Kira and Gwen were practicing magic.
Gwen was trying to teach Kira how to weave the protections.
Kira was having difficulty maintaining the webs of magic long enough to form anything in them.
She had told Joshua he could stay to keep an eye out for demons, so long as he didn’t try to convince her to stop or return to his house.
They’d been doing this for several days now.
He hated her being away from the protections of the town, but this was the best place for it. Gwen had trained her magic in the town hall, but with all the peering faces pressed to the windows these days, Kira would quickly get overwhelmed.
“I can’t do it,” Kira erupted from the beach. “I’m not strong enough.”
Joshua turned from the ocean. She had thrown herself into the sand, her hands over her face.
“You’re doing so well. You can hold it a lot longer than you did yesterday,” Gwen soothed.
“Two minutes isn’t a lot longer.”
Gwen sighed. “Yesterday, you could only hold it for one minute. You’ve doubled your time. That’s impressive.”
Kira made a noise that said, “Don’t patronize me.”
Joshua shifted back to human form and put on a pair of boxers before approaching. He stopped just outside the barrier. “It makes sense.”
“Hmm?” Kira lifted her head. Sand clung to her hair.
“You’ve been treated as an outcast your whole life because of your magic. It makes sense that you’d have a mental block against it now,” Joshua explained, feeling uneasy. Was this too much interference? “You deserve gentleness and patience, even from yourself.”
Kira opened her mouth, then snapped it shut. She got to her feet, brushing herself off. “Okay. Okay. I’ll try again. And this time, I’m going to aim to hold it for two minutes. I can do that.”
She took a deep breath and held her hands out a few inches apart.
Furrowing her brow, she mumbled something, and strands of a purple-hued light built between her fingertips.
She moved carefully, weaving them together into a loose net and then grew still, focused on the light.
A minute passed, then two. Joshua watched in silence.
Three minutes. Four. Five. Then one of the strands snapped, and the whole thing disappeared.
“How long was that?” Kira asked anxiously.
Gwen grinned as she showed Kira the stopwatch.
“Holy shit!” Kira clapped her hands and laughed. “That’s the best yet!”
Her eyes glowed with delight, and Joshua’s stomach fluttered. The joy on her face was better than anything he’d ever seen before. He wished he knew how to help her look that happy all the time.
“I want to try that spell we found to attack demons,” Kira said.
Joshua opened his mouth—surely it would be better to wait—but stopped himself.
Gwen was already saying the same thing. But Kira ignored both of them.
She took up a fighting stance and threw out one hand in a punch.
A bolt of blue light shot from her fist. The spell arced, slammed into the barrier, and flew right back at her.
Joshua lunged forward as the spell slammed into her chest. Kira let out a sharp yelp as she crumpled.