Chapter 22 - Joshua
Joshua stood, pacing from one end of the room to the next.
Pregnant. After everything he’d told himself about protecting her, it was his own actions that put her in the most danger.
He shouldn’t have lost control that day in the forest. Why had he completely forgotten everything when her body had been pressed up against his?
He’d worried. Of course, he had. But he trusted that since it was just once, it was unlikely for her to get pregnant as a result.
“I should have been smarter,” he muttered, tearing at his hair. “I’ve killed you.”
He stopped in front of the window, staring at the blinds that hid them from the world. He wanted to scream, to rage, to tear himself to pieces. His wolf growled, anxious to protect his mate. Their child. But the child was what was putting her in danger!
“I haven’t found anything in the grimoires to indicate that this pregnancy is doomed,” Kira said softly, her voice wavering.
She expected him to go back to his controlling ways. Part of him wanted to. To layer so much protection around her that she wasn’t going to be harmed… but that would also limit her movements. He was on his last chance. He knew that. Even in trying to protect her, he couldn’t lock her up.
Joshua released his hair, trying to calm himself down. He turned back to her, unable to draw close. “Maybe it’s best if you leave me for good. Then I’d stop being a threat to you.”
“Stop.” Kira stood and strode to him. “Didn’t you hear what I said?”
“Just because you haven’t found evidence doesn’t mean it’s not real.”
She lifted her chin. “I know it’s real. I’ve felt your curse, Joshua. When I was healing you.”
That brought him up short. His heart thudded against his ribs. “What?”
Kira took his hand and dragged him from the room, taking him to the potion’s room. A table had been added, along with a few grimoires. Kira caught his frown.
“I brought a couple with me last night. I thought I might have more time for reading,” she explained without looking at him.
“These were both ones that mentioned the witch hunters, but we haven’t been able to read through them yet.
I thought we could take some time this morning, look for something. ”
“And you think we’ll just happen to find something that will fix everything?” Joshua demanded.
“Better than just giving up. Or do you have other reasons for not wanting me to be pregnant with your child?” Kira’s voice was soft, pleading.
Joshua shook his head slowly. “Isn’t wanting you to live good enough? The curse will kill you.”
She opened her mouth as though she wanted to argue, only to wrap her arms around herself and bite her lips. She knew it was true.
Joshua reached toward her, only to stop. He couldn’t bear the thought of touching her now, as though even the gentlest touch might shatter her. His hands dropped back to his sides, limp and useless. “What are you going to do?”
“You know I want to be a mother,” Kira said slowly.
“I’m having trouble wrapping my head around being pregnant now, of all times, but I want this baby.
But I also want to live. Without more information, I don’t know what to do.
So I guess that first, I need to help you take down the demons, so it’ll be safe for us to go to the mainland and get thoroughly checked out.
If it’s a healthy pregnancy, that gives us hope.
If there are any signs that things can go wrong, we’ll be able to judge accordingly. ”
We. She was including him in this. His chest coiled. If it had solely been his choice, it would have been made already. Did she realize that? Did she realize that, regardless of what the doctors might say, what evidence she might find, he didn’t think it was worth the risk?
Then the rest of what she said hit him.
He stiffened. “You are not joining us on the hunts.”
Kira lifted her chin. “I’ve had all night to think about this.”
“So was it the pregnancy or this suicidal plan that was the big secret that you wanted to tell me before we had sex?” Joshua barked, growing agitated again.
“The pregnancy mostly. But now that you say it, I should have known you would react this way.”
“Don’t try to make it out as though I’m unreasonable for wanting you, untrained, barely able to use her magic, to be out in the forest with us hunting demons.” He narrowed his eyes, his wolf snarling at the idea of her being out and so vulnerable.
Kira shifted from foot to foot. “I’ve improved my magic use a lot.
I’m now able to project shields and hold up to three at once.
It was the witches, not the shifters, that defeated the demons in the first place.
I might not have military training, but that doesn’t mean I’m unable to protect myself. ”
Joshua took a deep breath and slowly let it out. He had to balance this carefully, considering his past behavior with her. He clasped his hands lightly together, forcing himself to breathe and calm his system. “Your lack of military training has everything to do with this, Kira.”
Her chin started to rise stubbornly.
“I would say the same to Gwen, Chelsey, or any other witch who volunteered,” he added quickly.
“The best thing you can do to help defeat the demons is to keep doing your research and performing more spells like the one Gwen cast that can protect us at a distance. But it would be utterly irresponsible of me to let you join a military pursuit. Especially when you can’t shift into your wolf and keep up with us. ”
Kira frowned. She stared hard at him for a moment before she turned and picked up one of the grimoires. “Then I guess I’d better get back to studying.”
Joshua followed her, tracking her movements as she dressed in fresh clothes and twisted her hair into a bun that she secured with an elastic. It wasn’t going to be over so easily. She wasn’t done fighting. And he dreaded to find out what she would do next.
***
The next morning, he arrived at town hall to meet with the special ops team to find Kira there, straddling a sleek dirt bike. She wore a bullet-proof vest—where the hell did she get that from?—and a dark helmet sat on the dirt bike’s handles.
The team eyed her warily. A few of them winced when they saw him coming and moved out of the way, heads bent together as they muttered.
Irritation swept through Joshua as he marched over to her.
She looked up at his approach and, before he could say anything, she took hold of his wrist and pulled him aside.
He let her, if only to avoid causing a scene.
“I’m coming with you,” she said.
“No.”
“I’m not weak, Joshua. And it hurts that you think I am. That’s what it’s all been about, isn’t it? Why you keep making these choices. Because you think I’m too weak to handle the threat.” She lifted her chin and glared at him.
Joshua ground his teeth. “It’s not weakness, Kira.”
“Then why would you bring up my wolf?”
Joshua moved closer, taking her hands in his.
“Physical strength is something to consider in fighting demons. That doesn’t mean I think you’re weak.
You’re the strongest, bravest person I know.
You’ve walked through your life with grace, despite everything that has been stacked up against you.
You’ve been through more than you should have, and you keep going. ”
Kira searched his gaze, doubtful.
He cupped her face and stroked his thumb along her jaw.
His wolf hummed with pleasure as her gaze darkened with lust. Even for as upset and at odds as they were, she was still so responsive to his touch.
If there wasn’t so much hanging over her head, ready to crush her and take her away, he might have allowed himself to get distracted.
“If I don’t protect you, I’ll lose you,” he murmured, moving his thumb to her lower lip.
“Not wanting you to come fight demons has nothing to do with who you are. It’s everything to do with your lack of training.
Look at them again,” he added, jerking his head back toward the special ops team.
Her gaze slid over his shoulder to focus on the dozen wolves that waited for his orders. “Do you see Michael or Rafael?”
Kira licked her lips and shook her head. “No.”
“That’s because they don’t have the training.”
Her stance loosened, her body opening toward him.
“They’re not witches, either. I’ve put protective runes all over my clothes.
And I have dozens of potions that I spent all night working on that will repel demons and strengthen my magic.
And there are other potions that can be used to heal otherwise-fatal injuries, but they need a blast of magic as soon as they’re applied. You need me.”
Joshua’s stomach clenched. She gave a good argument.
It would be useful to have a witch; all the previous night, it had been going around in his mind, how the first demon they’d come into contact with hadn’t been defeated until Lianne used magic against it.
They might be able to fight the demons, but could they kill them?
“I understand your point, but it’s still dangerous. And if anything happened to you…” His hand ran down her arm and traced over her stomach—where she carried a ticking time bomb.
His heart clenched. No. Not a ticking time bomb. She carried the baby that she wanted. The baby she wanted to protect, too.
“If the demons know you’re pregnant, they might try to make you miscarry,” he murmured.
“I know. So you have to understand that this isn’t a decision I made lightly. I’m scared to go hunt demons. But if we don’t take care of them, and soon, we’ll lose everything. I know we will.”
He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close against him. “I want to protect you, but it’s not just the demons that are the threat. I can’t protect you against my own curse.”
Kira nodded slowly. “I understand. But you know what I think? I think if we can kick some demon ass together, we’ll find a way to kick the curse’s ass, too.
” She grinned at him, but her eyes glittered with a hardness he’d not seen before.
She pressed her face into his shoulder. “I’m afraid, too.
I’m afraid that I’ll have to choose between my life and my baby’s.
I’m afraid that the risks will be too high.
But I want the freedom to choose for myself, and I can’t do that while there are still demons on Nightfall. ”
Joshua pressed his lips to the crown of her head, a heaviness sinking down on him. The decision was made, and it wasn’t one that he liked.
“You can come with us. But you stay on the road, and if I tell you to run, you get back here as fast as that bike will take you. Do you understand?” He cupped her face again and held her fast until she agreed.
He kissed her, once, wishing there wasn’t this deep certainty in his bones that she was right.
He would much rather she stay here, in town.
“Alright,” Joshua said as he turned back to the team, who were deliberately not watching them. “Let’s get this show on the road.”
***
The first day, they kept close to town. Joshua was worried that Kira’s presence would lure the demons in to attack right away.
They stayed on high alert, but nothing happened.
On the second day, they ventured further.
The demons tried to ambush them, but Kira sensed the demon before it could attack, and she used her magic to blast it to pieces.
On the third day, Joshua and Kira both sensed a demonic energy, and between the two of them, they tracked down a nest of the snake-like demons and destroyed them all.
And at night, they ate dinner together at her house, discussing plans for the next day, and read through the materials that Alpha Bael had given them. Joshua always went back to his house, but he didn’t feel quite so alone anymore.
On the fourth day, all hell broke loose.
They were moving through the forest, along a popular trail. The team trotted in formation, with Kira on her bike in the midst of them. Joshua’s ears twitched as he searched for any signs of demons.
A faint hum was all the warning they got before the demons attacked.
There were so many of them that they blotted out the sun.
A spray of blood shot through the air, and a howl of pain was suddenly cut off.
The special ops leapt into action, making a protective circle. The demons poured in from every side.
The special ops team moved on instinct, claws digging into the ground as they whirled, snapping and clawing at the demons.
So many of them, all twisting and writhing like snakes.
An oppressive dark energy tore at the edges of his mind, but he shoved it away.
It was the same dark energy as he’d felt ever since the demon on the beach.
Several of the snakes converged on him. They twisted around his ankles and tried to yank his feet from under him.
With a snarl, he tore into them. High-pitched wails pierced his ears, but he didn’t stop.
Joshua whipped around, snatching a demon from the air.
As the howls filled the air, he caught sight of Kira’s bike.
The front wheel had been torn off. She lay on the ground, her hands upright, magic spilling from her palms as the demons crowded in around her.
The demons surged together and were blasted back by her magic, then they reformed into a giant snake and sped at her.
One of the special ops threw himself into its path.
He was thrown aside, bones shattering as he slammed into a tree.
Joshua howled as he fought through the demons that kept pouring in.
No, not demons—only one. A chill stole down his spine at the realization.
There was only one demon there, able to splinter itself into all of these shapes.
That was why there were so many, and why they kept coming.
Kira screamed as one of the snakes bit her thigh. Joshua surged forward, trying to get to her. Then, without warning, Kira’s form shifted. Fur sprouted along her skin. She transformed into a thin, scruffy wolf. What? Why had she done that? Her wolf was weak! How could she fight in that form?
Another howl burst from Joshua’s throat. Kira didn’t so much as glance his way as she whirled around and bolted away, disappearing into the trees.