Chapter 45 — Ethan #2
“Let’s be serious. I did nothing but wait around after Thea disappeared.
I had no idea that she had started a whole new life here, and I’ve continued to bide my time ever since, hoping the pieces will just fall into place.
But the pieces falling into place is actually someone else coming to my rescue, someone else telling me what’s going to happen.
I can’t control anything. I can’t even protect myself.
What can I offer you in a world where everyone’s stronger than me? ”
“Ethan—”
“Some of the younger guards told me I’m endangering you. That I don’t deserve your protection because I’m not fit to be here.”
“Who—”
“And they’re right. How could I be anything but temporary?
Every brave contribution I’ve made has been immediately outweighed by what I need from you and the others.
” The acid truth of my uselessness eats through whatever composure I have left.
My shoulders cave forward. I fix my eyes on the dagger sitting on the windowsill because looking at Rhiannon will finish me.
“Humans aren’t supposed to live in Clarion.
If I promise you we’ll fight for a future here, I’m just promising to lean on you to do the fighting for me.
And I won’t be the reason you lose everything you’ve worked so hard for. ”
Rhiannon’s hand reaches out, her thumb bracing my chin, her fingers pressed along the hinge of my jaw, and she tips my face toward hers. Not roughly, but firmly enough that I can’t look anywhere but directly into her eyes.
“You think I need someone to protect me?” A sharp laugh escapes her, humorless and raw. “I’m Commander of the Alpha’s guard. I’ve killed enemies twice my size since I was nine years old. I don’t need my mate to be stronger than me, Ethan.”
Her fingers loosen on my jaw, but don’t release. Her thumb grazes the edge of my chin, and the contrast between the pressure of her grip and that single, gentle stroke scrambles my thoughts.
“What you give me is far beyond that.” She leans closer.
“Before you walked into Thea’s apartment, I built walls around me thicker than the ones that protect Kortan.
I didn’t let anyone in. Not after Xander.
Not after the whispers. I convinced myself that if I was hard enough — strong enough — nothing could touch me.
” She swallows. Her gaze slides away from mine for half a second before she brings it back, determined to focus on me.
“And it worked. Nothing touched me. Nothing got through. But my life was empty, Ethan. Totally, utterly empty.”
Her hand slides from my jaw to the side of my neck, her palm warm against my pulse.
“You keep calling yourself just a human.” Her lip curls, half sardonic, half disappointed.
“But everything that makes you you exists because you’re human.
You anchor me. You see the parts I keep buried so deep that even my wolf can’t reach them.
You push me when I’m too stubborn to move.
And when I push back, you don’t flinch.” She pauses, but doesn’t falter.
“That’s not weakness. It’s the only thing keeping me from disappearing back into someone I don’t want to be. ”
I start to respond, but her fingers press against my lips.
“If you walk out that gate tonight, you’re not protecting me.
You’re not beating them to the punch. You’re proving every lie we’ve ever told ourselves.
” Her hand slides from my mouth to cup my face again.
“That I have to do this alone. That letting someone in was the mistake I always feared it would be. And that you don’t deserve to be chosen. ”
“And when the novelty wears off?” The muscles in my jaw stiffen under her touch. “What happens if you get tired of your pet human?”
“I spent my whole life convinced that I would be Xander’s Luna.
When the Moon Goddess bound him to Thea, I tortured myself searching for what I’d done to deserve it.
” She presses her head against my chest, her warmth wrapping around me.
My hands hover at my sides, unsure where to land, before I allow them to settle on the small of her back.
“But I get it now. It had to happen this way. She guided me to Xander, who led him to Thea, who led me to you. Your best friend came here from the Outer Lands and became bound to the man I thought I loved. That’s not random chance.
You never would have discovered that I existed if you hadn’t done something so simple as watering Thea’s plants, and my heart had to break because it was meant to beat for you.
” She nestles in closer. “You say you’re not taking action when you should, but I know from my own experience that the greater sin is to try to interfere when you shouldn’t.
Letting things be what they are is what brought us to this moment. What brought me to you.”
Rhiannon’s intoxicating scent of citrus and forest mist overrides my ability to form rational thoughts.
“Rhiannon, what are you saying?”
She pulls back just enough to hold my gaze without wavering. “You’re my fated mate, Ethan.”
My hands drop from her back. Every sound in the room — the wind against the window, the distant clang from the training yard — becomes muted, like my ears need a second to catch up with the rest of me.
Her declaration settles into silence. I stand there, waiting for the punchline. The twist. The contradiction.
None of that comes.
“What?” I clear my throat, but it doesn’t help. I still feel like I’m choking on air.
“My fated mate.” Her fingers dive into my shirt.
“What Thea is to Xander, you are to me. For Lycans, it’s not just a declaration of commitment or being in love.
The Moon Goddess binds two souls that are destined to be together.
It’s a connection that goes beyond life.
Beyond death. In this case, beyond worlds.
” A breath shudders out of her. “There is no one else for me. There never will be.”
My mouth goes dry. I lick my lips, trying to form a sentence, and fail. Fated mates.