Chapter 10
CHAPTER TEN
natalie
“HOW’S IT GOING WITH Cameron?”
“Cameron?” I repeated, staring at the skating rink in an attempt to avoid Noah’s probing gaze. The problem was that the corner of the rink I was so focused on no longer had any students in it, and Chloe had long since skated off to another part of the ice.
“Cameron Bryant,” Noah repeated slowly, giving me a funny look, which I caught out of the corner of my eye. “Your lawyer?”
“Right,” I said, a breathless laugh coinciding with the word. “It’s going fine.”
Fine.
It was going so much better than fine and so much worse than fine all at once.
Since the late night at my house, I’d gone into his office on one other occasion in preparation for the upcoming deposition. He’d been considerate with his words. Professional in his mannerisms and the distance he put between us. And absolutely destroying me with his eyes.
The way Cameron Bryant looked at me was something I couldn’t even comprehend or put into words, but it made my heart skip beats and my pulse thump in weird rhythms, and I was seriously wondering if I should be making an appointment with my doctor.
Or maybe just ask Delaney, who was also a cardiologist and likely more understanding than my brother.
Before I left Cameron’s office the last time, he’d asked what my plans were for the rest of the day. When I laughingly complained that I planned to spend it battling wordless IKEA instructions in order to build Chloe a new bookshelf, he offered to swing by to help me.
I should have said no, but I didn’t, bringing the total number of times that my lawyer had been to my house up to four.
As it turned out, building furniture was a lot more fun when you got to ogle hot men while you did it.
Just looking.
No touching.
Because we were both being good.
“Fine?” Noah repeated, and I finally tore my gaze away from the empty spot on the rink, looking over at him.
We sat side by side in the bleachers that lined the ice.
He was busy adjusting the hat on Delilah’s head, staring at his infant daughter with the dopiest look on his face.
She was strapped to his chest, bundled in probably more layers than necessary for a fifty-five-degree ice rink, and her bright blue eyes blinked at him, a replica of his girlfriend’s. “You think the case is under control?”
I blew out a breath, wishing it felt just a little more under control.
I couldn’t lie; some of Cameron’s questioning had rattled me.
“As good as it can be, I think. Cameron’s been preparing me for the deposition, getting me ready for all the questions they’ll ask. I’ve gone through this before, but I feel more…unsure of the outcome.”
“There’s no way he’s going to get away with this, Nat.” Noah squeezed my knee. “It’s going to be okay. Cameron’s got your back.”
I nodded, agreeing with him on that. Cameron felt like the only reason I was getting through this right now.
My eyes drifted back to the rink to see Chloe skating by. Meanwhile, Gemma paced around the boards, looking a little frustrated she wasn’t out on the ice with my daughter.
“She’s not thinking about going back to work already, is she?” I asked, turning to Noah, who was staring intently at his soon-to-be fiancée.
“She wants to,” he said with a sigh. “And I get it, to an extent. Her leave began at the start of her third trimester because it wasn’t safe for her to be on the ice anymore, so she’s been away from the rink for a long time.
But she’s only just started exercising on land, and I need her to take it easy.
Like I really need her to take it easy.” He looked at Delilah, worry and adoration mixed in his eyes. “We need Mommy to be safe, don’t we?”
Delilah’s lips parted in what looked like a smile, though it was probably just a reflexive expression. Either way, it was adorable, and Noah grinned.
“She just wanted to stop by today,” he added. “Bring Delilah so she could meet everyone. But she’s not supposed to be returning to work for a few more weeks.”
“That’s good,” I said. “She should take her time. Take it easy.”
“Trust me, I’m trying to convince her of that.”
I gave him a pointed look and added, “She should take it easy everywhere, Noah.”
“What do you—” He did a double take when he saw my raised brows, understanding dawning.
His own brows pulled together as he scoffed.
“Who the fuck do you think I am, Nat? Of course we’re taking it easy everywhere.
I’m so scared to cause her more pain after what she just went through, I’ve barely even touched her. ”
“I mean.” I shook my head, surprised—but also not—at Noah’s strong reaction. “Don’t deprive her, either,” I muttered.
“Fuck, can you stop?” Noah grumbled. He grabbed the bill of his hat, tossed it off, raked a hand through his hair, and then threw his hat back on his head again. “I do not need my big sister giving me advice about my sex life.”
“I’m sorry.” I put my hands up, knowing I was crossing lines.
“I’m projecting, and I’m sorry. But I just know…
” I sighed, leaning back and propping my elbows on the bleacher bench behind us.
“Beyond my personal experience, I’ve seen at work what can happen when other men encourage it too soon after birth.
That’s all I’ll say, okay? I’ll shut up now. ”
As promised, I zipped my lips after that. And it fell quiet, too quiet, just the sound of skates cutting into ice echoing around the arena. Chancing a glance at Noah, I found him staring at me with a horrified look on his face.
I frowned. “What?”
“Just let me kill him, Nat,” he groaned, his eyes searching my face for permission. “Please, I’m begging you. I’ll just kill that asshole ex of yours, and this will all be over with.”
“Noah.” I darted my eyes around the bleachers, but luckily, no one else sat too close.
We were up high, toward the top of the stands—less of a chance that football fans might find Noah since he’d been trying to keep a low profile since Delilah’s birth.
“Can you please not talk about murder so loudly at a youth figure skating club?”
Noah shook his head, half ignoring me. “It feels like every day that passes since your divorce, I learn something new that he did to you, and none of us were around to help. It makes me feel sick, Nat. I’m so fucking sorry.”
“You weren’t around because he wouldn’t let you be around,” I pressed. “It’s not your fault.”
Noah loved Chloe, but I also knew that this, right here, was part of the reason he’d been so insistent on being helpful since the divorce. A large part of it was guilt, and I wanted him to know he didn’t need to feel that way.
Noah clenched his jaw but didn’t push it, changing the topic. “Hey, did you still need help fixing that lock? I can probably swing by this weekend to take a look at it.”
“Oh, no.” I focused on the rink again, trying to find Chloe. “It’s good. Thank you, though.”
“You fixed it?”
Goddamnit. He would ask for clarification, making me choose between lying to him or just being honest. But why shouldn’t I be honest? There was nothing wrong with what had happened.
“Cameron fixed it,” I said, still averting my gaze, keeping it on my daughter. I’d found her. She was doing something I’d learned was called a forward swizzle while she made her way off the ice. I checked the time, realized that her lesson was over, and stood.
“Cameron fixed it,” Noah repeated, standing beside me as he cupped a large hand on the back of Delilah’s head.
I glanced over to find that my brother’s brows had flown way up into his hairline.
Right. That was why I shouldn’t be honest.
“He stopped by for me to sign some paperwork, and I mentioned it, and he fixed it.” I waved it off, wishing this conversation could be over. Noah would look into this, too into this. “Not a big deal. Took him a few minutes. Then he left.”
After staying for dinner and watching Chloe’s favorite TV show with us and then talking far too late into the night.
Yep.
Then he left.
I started down the bleachers, hoping that we could just end this conversation right here. Behind me, I heard Noah mutter something beneath his breath before sighing.
“Well, saves me a trip, I guess,” he said louder, following me to the bottom of the stands, where the skaters were lining up to take off their gear.
My brother turned to me when we reached the side of the rink, and I prepared myself for a lecture, but all he said was, “We’re headed to the Bellflower for dinner after this since we’re already out of the house, and that doesn’t happen all that often anymore.
We’re meeting Juni and Jules. You and Chloe should come. ”
“Come where?” my daughter’s voice squeaked.
“Shit, sorry,” Noah grunted. “I didn’t know she was right there.
” He pasted a smile on his face and then turned to Chloe, who had appeared at his elbow.
“Hey, lil Lo. I was just mentioning to your mom that we’re going to get some dinner.
But I don’t know…” He tipped his chin down, a questioning look.
“You might have some homework you gotta get done.”
“I don’t.” Chloe immediately shook her head. “The research on homework does not prove that it is a useful intervention to increase student learning.”
For the second time this evening, Noah’s brows flew into his hairline.
“Yeah, her teacher is very anti-homework,” I said beneath my breath, leaning toward him. “And Chloe has taken it to heart. Might be a little problem when she gets homework from different teachers in the future.”
Noah laughed and nodded at his niece. “Noted, Lo.”
“Do you want to get dinner with your uncle, or do you want to go home?” I asked her.
Personally, I wouldn’t mind curling up on the couch with Chloe and watching another episode of Percy Jackson.
I wasn’t exactly dressed for an after-work outing, still wearing my scrubs since I hadn’t had a surgery today.
But I also liked the idea of not having to cook, even if it did make me feel a little guilty since there’d been a few times this week I hadn’t cooked.
Growing up, the Londons were always a “we have food at home” household, and I tried to bring that forward. It didn’t always work, though.
“Is Aunt Gemma going?” Chloe asked, checking over her shoulder at Noah’s girlfriend, who was chatting with one of the other coaches. Since she’d been on maternity leave, Chloe hadn’t seen her that much, and I knew she missed her.
“Yep, she’s coming,” Noah answered.
“Then let’s go!”
Chloe took off, running as fast as she could in her skates to grab Gemma.
Noah stared after her, shaking his head. “I think we should both be a little insulted.”
“Yeah. But you’re not, are you?”
Noah had a glazed look in his eyes as he watched Chloe pull Gemma toward us with the tenacity of an only child who probably got her way far too much. I needed to work on that.
“No, not at all,” he breathed.
I should have realized that when Noah said they were meeting Julian and Juniper at the Bellflower Bar, a relaxed restaurant and bar that was only a few blocks over from Gardner Law, there was the possibility of Cameron being there.
I should have thought about that ahead of time and used it as a reason not to go.
But I was almost glad I hadn’t realized.
Because then I would have been forced to confront reality and admit that I still wanted to go.
In fact, it only made me want to go more.
Because while I shouldn’t want to see Cameron any more often than was necessary for my custody case, I did want to see Cameron. Like, a lot.
Shit.
The Bellflower was crowded for a weeknight.
Like a lot of Boston buildings, it boasted exposed, worn brick and historic charm.
Gold-detailed frames held black-and-white photos on the wall, and a large mirror sat behind the bar, illuminated on all sides.
The atmosphere was lively, the crowd mixed.
Most patrons were in business-casual attire, fresh from late evenings at the office.
But there were one or two other families, too.
Luckily, we didn’t have to wait to be seated.
We walked in the door to find that Julian had pushed a few tables together toward the back.
Gemma led the way toward them, her bright auburn hair bouncing in her ponytail excitedly.
When she stopped, greeting Juniper first, Noah gave her a brief kiss on the cheek before taking Delilah and going to sit by Julian and Cameron.
And, of course, my daughter skipped up to the middle of the table, squeezing her way between Julian and Noah.
Julian looked back in surprise, his expression transforming into one of genuine delight.
“Hi, Chloe,” he laughed. “Is your mom here, too?”
“Nah, we just kidnapped her from the rink,” Noah cut in. He poked Chloe in her side, making her giggle, and I flicked his shoulder as I walked up behind them.
“I’m here.” Julian’s gaze trailed to me, and I smiled at him, painfully aware of Cameron’s gaze on the side of my face.
“Hey, Natalie,” Julian said with a casual wave. “Glad you could come.”
“Same,” I said, suddenly feeling breathless.
My gaze wandered to the rest of the table, and I didn’t make it far before I got sucked into Cameron’s orbit, our eyes connecting with an intensity I should be expecting by now but caught me off guard every time, causing my throat to close up and my chest to feel tight.
Cameron gave me a nod of acknowledgment—like he knew exactly what was happening. The corner of his lips curved slightly.
I opened my mouth to say something. Something innocuous, plain, boring. Something really clever like “Hey” or “How’s it going?” But my daughter interrupted before I even got the chance to mutter any of my ingenuity.
“Hi, Cam!” she exclaimed. “Annabeth really misses you.”
And everyone’s expressions shifted.