Chapter 16
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
natalie
IWAITED ABOUT TEN hours to call Cameron, and honestly, I probably would have called him sooner if it weren’t for the fact that I had other responsibilities I had to tend to on a Monday, other than going to depositions and making sex arrangements with my lawyers.
But as soon as I got Chloe to bed, made my evening tea, gave Annabeth her treats, and trudged upstairs, I had my phone in my hand.
I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Cameron all day.
I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about the things he’d said—with his words, his touch, his gaze, everything. I could almost still feel it, a warm, ghostly presence I didn’t know how to shake but didn’t want to. He’d offered me something I simply didn’t know how to turn down.
Taking a shaky breath, I pressed on his contact name and brought the phone to my ear.
“Natalie,” Cameron answered smoothly, immediately after the first ring.
Just the sound of his voice saying my name had me sinking lower into the bed, melting.
How did he do that?
“Hi,” I replied breathlessly. “I’m calling.”
“You’re calling,” he repeated, and I could hear the faint smile in his voice. Like maybe he’d been waiting for me to call. I hoped he’d been waiting for me to call. “Why are you calling?”
“You know why.”
“Mm,” he hummed into the phone, and it sent a wave of delightful shivers through me. “You’re sure you don’t want to sleep on this?”
“I don’t think I need to,” I said, painfully honest. “But I’d understand if you do.”
“I don’t.” He sounded so sure, but that was always how he sounded. “I know what I want, Natalie.”
You.
He didn’t say it, but I heard it anyway.
My breath hitched as the unspoken word hung between us.
Cameron was right; we had undeniable chemistry. Simple touches and little words seemed to be all we needed to spark heat. As demonstrated at the office, he simply had to murmur my name, and my body felt like it was on the brink of ruin.
We needed ground rules. If we didn’t lay down ground rules, this would snowball into something that I couldn’t control, and that was the last thing I wanted.
Right now, over the phone, was the best time to decide on what, exactly, those rules would be. He couldn’t distract me with his touch or wear down my defenses. He had a sexy voice, but I could hold my own against words, right?
“This agreement,” I started, clearing my throat. “What if we put a limit on it?”
“A limit?” Cameron repeated.
I honestly didn’t love the idea, but the anxiety that had been laced into the linings of my heart and soul—thanks to Korey—told me that this was the smart thing to do. So it didn’t get too out of hand.
“Maybe five…” I paused, searching for the right word for it. “Lessons?”
That would be enough to grasp what I liked and didn’t like, to give me a little taste of sex again. Right?
“Five lessons,” Cameron repeated, but something about the stilted tone of his voice had me backpedaling.
“Is that too much? Just one is fine, too. I don’t want to take too much of your time or anything like that. It was just an idea—”
“Natalie,” he cut in, voice unyielding. “You’re not taking too much of my time. Five nights sounds good.”
It was too late, though. I was already spiraling, wondering if I was asking too much from him, a man who had already offered me so much.
“Is there something I can do for you in return?”
When it was silent on the other end, I attempted to joke.
“Can I interest you in a crocheted animal, perhaps?”
Cameron sighed heavily through the phone, and I winced, bracing myself for whatever was to come. Sometimes, it was hard to get a read on him, and it was even harder to do over the phone.
“I don’t know how I can be any more blunt, but I’ll try,” he said finally.
“I want to fuck you, Natalie. Badly. And you’re saying I get to.
Possibly five times.” He paused, and I imagined him pinching the bridge of his nose like he did sometimes.
“Trust me. You don’t need to offer me anything more than that.
Even though I am positive you make an exceptional crocheted cat. ”
And because I didn’t exactly know how to respond to that when my pulse had taken off like a rocket and my body felt clammy and hot, I murmured, “The one I made for Chloe turned out really good.”
“I bet it did.” His voice had softened. “Look, Sunshine. I promise I won’t pressure you into going anywhere with this that you don’t want to. We can keep it to five lessons, but know I’m not going to push you for more than you’re ready for. If that’s what you’re worried about.”
Of course it was. Except it wasn’t entirely about what I wanted.
Truth was, I liked Cameron. A lot. In another world, where I wasn’t burdened by the trauma Korey had put me and my daughter through, I’d be eager to start something with him.
Something where we planned to spend time together in and out of the bedroom.
But knowing what I did now, about how relationships could turn on you if you weren’t careful, I couldn’t let myself get ahead of anything.
Even if I did trust Cameron, keeping this situation secret and experimental with firm boundaries was what I needed.
“I know you want to be careful about Chloe,” Cameron added, and my heart lurched into my throat. “So I’ll be mindful of that, too. I wouldn’t want to confuse her or give her any kind of false expectations if we’re just experimenting.”
“Thank you,” I whispered. Because his words truly meant more to me than I really knew how to express, the fact that he was considering Chloe, that he was prioritizing Chloe the way I did.
“Of course, Natalie.” I imagined the way his brown eyes would flick over me when he said my name and smiled to myself.
“As for the firm, if anyone did find out…” He hesitated, and it was the first time I heard a bit of uneasiness.
“It would be best if we could say that this started before the case. If we could say we hooked up the night we met, and it just continued.”
“That would be better?” I asked, surprised.
“Still not ideal, but there’s less of a strict rule on it if it was a preestablished…relationship of sorts.”
“Then we hooked up the night we met,” I replied easily, wondering if I dared to ask Cameron what the consequences would be if that weren’t the case. “It’s not…I mean, a total lie. Otherwise, I wouldn’t know what your lips feel like.”
“Not totally, no,” Cameron said, his voice a soft hush. “I wish I could say the same, though.”
My stomach fluttered at his quiet admission.
“We’ll fix that soon,” I promised.
Cameron let out a muffled groan, like he’d pressed his face into a pillow.
More flutters erupted inside me. I couldn’t remember ever being wanted like this. To be honest, I was having a hard time believing it was real. Before getting my hopes up too high, I should really make sure it was real. That this wasn’t going to fall apart before it came to fruition.
“Are you positive you want to—”
“Yes,” he interrupted. “I could not be any more positive, Natalie.”
The words dropped like an anvil between us, leaving no room for any further questioning.
Okay, then. It was real.
My pulse picked up, hammering in my chest, my throat, my veins. I felt it everywhere that he’d touched, like a delayed echo.
“I think this will actually help.” I wasn’t sure if I was trying to unnecessarily convince him or if I was attempting to reassure myself that we were making the right decision, but I needed to say this aloud. “With the case.”
Cameron didn’t answer right away. He released a heavy sigh before replying. “I promise you it won’t hurt it.”
“I just mean…I think we’ll be less distracted if we simply let it happen,” I tried to explain.
“Instead of using our time together at the office to think about how much we want it to happen.” I paused when I realized what I’d just revealed, suddenly feeling shy about it.
“At least, that’s how it’s been for me. Maybe it hasn’t been for you. ”
“Oh, Natalie.” Cameron released a throaty chuckle, and then his voice dropped to a pitch I’d never quite heard before. “You have no fucking idea what it’s been like for me.”
My stomach flipped. “Tell me?”
“You want to hear about that?” He sounded surprised that I asked, but how could I not?
“You want to hear how I have to keep my hands in my fucking pockets all the time because the urge to touch you is so strong, I’m afraid I won’t be able to stop myself?
You want to hear about how just the smell of your vanilla perfume drives me wild for hours, even after you leave my office?
” He released an exhale filled with pent-up emotions.
“You’re absolutely right, Sunshine. I spend way too much time thinking about how much I want you. ”
It took me a second to be able to respond, letting his words wrap around me, making me feel less alone in this. “Then I think we should free up some of that brain space by giving you what you want,” I said diplomatically.
Cameron sighed again, like he didn’t believe it was quite that simple, but I didn’t understand why. Personally, I thought this would uncomplicate things.
“Again,” he started, his voice steady again. “This isn’t about what I want. So why don’t we talk about some of your concerns you mentioned earlier?”
“Concerns?”
“About our compatibility,” Cameron answered patiently. “And the things you’re interested in.” There was a pause before he added, “In bed,” as if wanting to make that point exponentially clear.
“I…” My mind felt like it had been wiped blank. It wasn’t like I’d been holding on to a checklist. I just wanted to try something. “I don’t really know, to be honest.”
Cameron hummed to himself, thinking about that for a long moment. Finally, he asked, “Are you in bed right now, Sunshine? Finished your nighttime routine?”
“Yes.” A pause before my curiosity took over. “Are you?”
“Yeah.” The rustle of sheets while he readjusted proved that. “I’m in bed.”