Chapter 4 #2
Finally, the fourth period rolls around, and I arrive early, placing the postcard, picture side up, on Reid’s desk. I contemplate going to the bathroom as class starts to avoid seeing him look at it.
Chloe comes in and walks to her desk, noticing the postcard on Reid’s desk, giving me a giant smile with two thumbs up. I give her a wobbly smile and thumbs up back.
The final bell rings, and Reid still hasn’t come to class. He is never late. I notice our teacher starting to walk in between the seats, and I swipe the postcard back, shoving it in the back pocket of my binder.
Just as he passes my seat, I tap him on the shoulder. “Hey, Mr. Francisco, is Reid sick or something?” I try to ask casually.
“Reid Parker? Oh, yes, he moved. Friday before spring break was his last day.” He must see my pained expression and continues. “However, that doesn’t mean you can take his seat just so you’re closer to Chloe. Stick to the seating chart Miss Gomes.”
I hate how he says my name, Go-mez. It’s almost right that it bugs me even more than when it’s pronounced terribly wrong. Wait, did he just say Reid moved?
“Chloe!” I whisper to her, leaning over Reid’s former desk. “Did you just hear that? He moved!”
“Who moved?” she asks, looking confused.
“Reid, Reid moved!”
A kid who sits in front of Chloe, I think his name is Steven, turns around to us, clearly listening to our entire conversation.
“I heard he moved to Colorado,” he says. “His dad got a job, and they moved, lucky. He didn’t have to take all the midterms.”
Chloe gives Steven an evil squint and fans her hand at him, which makes him turn away from us.
My heart falls out of my butt. Reid moved. I’m devastated.
As soon as I get home, I run up to my room and launch myself into my bed, crying into my pillow. I think I hear one of my brothers coming in after me.
“Get out!” I say, muffling into my pillow.
I feel a small hand caressing my head. “Why are you crying?” It’s Joey. He might dress in all black, but he’s a big softie on the inside and hates whenever I’m sad.
“Just leave me alone.” I don’t feel like explaining what heartbreak is to my nine-year-old brother.
He stays for a few minutes, not saying anything, just brushing my hair with his fingers. I feel him give me a little kiss on the head, and my bedroom door closes.
I wish I had asked Reid out earlier. But I was scared.
I didn’t want to find out he didn’t like me back.
I don’t know what is worse, being rejected by Reid or him moving and never getting the chance to find out.
I roll off my bed and sit at my desk. I unlock my secret drawer in my desk and find my diary.
“A+R,” I wrote on the cover with my favorite gel pens.
I run my fingers over the letters and open the diary.
Fourth Grade - December
Dear Diary,
There’s a new boy in our school. He just moved here and doesn’t know anyone but has a ton of friends. He’s kind of cute, but I don’t like boys like that. They stink.
Love, Anni
Fifth Grade - September
Dear Diary,
You’ll never guess who is in my class this year.
Well, yeah, Chloe, she’s always in my class.
I’m pretty sure my mom is behind her, and I am always in the same classes.
Anyway, it’s Reid. I think I have a crush on him.
I didn’t know what it meant to have a crush, so I looked it up when we did computer lab.
It said something about flutters and feeling excited to see someone.
I have both of those things whenever I see him.
Love, Anni
Fifth Grade - March
Dear Diary,
Reid said my shirt looked cool today.
Love, Anni
Sixth Grade - July
Dear Diary,
Chloe is staying with us tonight. I think my mom said she’s staying tomorrow too.
Chloe is brushing her teeth while I write here.
I wish she could stay at our house all the time.
I wish she was my real sister, not just my best friend.
She makes me want to be brave like her. I never see her sad when her parents argue.
I would be sad if mine argued like hers.
Although I wouldn’t be sad if I got to sleep over at my best friend’s house.
I told Chloe about my crush on Reid tonight, and she said, “DUH!” I hope not everyone knows about my crush! Only you and my mom know. Well, now Chloe knows she better not spill the beans. Oh, I think she’s done brushing her teeth. Bye diary
Love, Anni
Seventh Grade - February
I <3 Reid Parker I <3 Reid Parker I <3 Reid Parker I <3 Reid ParkerI <3 Reid Parker I <3 Reid ParkerI <3 Reid Parker I <3 Reid ParkerI <3 Reid Parker I <3 Reid ParkerI <3 Reid Parker I <3 Reid ParkerI <3 Reid Parker I <3 Reid Parker
I have probably twenty entries about all the times Reid made my heart skip a beat. I grab a pen from my drawer and start writing a new entry.
Seventh Grade - May
Dear Diary,
My heart broke today. I didn’t know if I was in love, but the way my chest aches now is proof enough.
I loved a boy and never told him. I wish I could go back in time.
He’s gone. He didn’t even say goodbye. He could’ve told me.
How did Steven find out!? Colorado? That’s not even in the same time zone.
I don’t know if I’ll be able to recover.
I just want to cry for the rest of my life.
Unloved,
Annika
I never want to be reminded of this heartbreak ever again.
I slam the diary shut and shove the postcard I was supposed to give him inside.
I tuck it under my arm and run to the side yard and throw it right in the big trash can.
Garbage day is tomorrow, and it will collect all the pieces of my heart with it. I’m clearly not meant to fall in love.
I head back to my room and close the door, sulking for about another hour until Chloe storms into my room with an arm full of DVDs and a giant bag of kettle corn.
We sit on my bed in my room, binge-watching cheesy rom-coms and eating popcorn while she listens to me complain about all the love scenes.
She doesn’t even mention the boy I once loved at all, which I’m happy about.
I don’t want to think about him. During the third movie, I’m sitting on the floor, and she’s braiding my hair while I cry at the part where the couple lives happily ever after.
I watch as the couple runs to each other, kissing in the rain. It makes me sick. As the credits roll up the screen, I vow to never fall in love. Ever. Again