Chapter 42
FORTY-TWO
REID
It feels unreal. I have my arm draped over Anni’s shoulder as if we do this all the time.
As if we’ve always been this close. We quietly make our way from the beach through the sand dunes back to the parking lot.
I can’t help but stop at every dip in the path to spin her around and hear her giggle into my chest. Kiss every inch of her face.
I’ve been waiting too long for this. Nothing has ever felt so perfect.
I know it will be harder for us in the beginning.
We really should unpack our history so we can move past it, but right now, I just want her in my arms. I’m never going to let her go again.
We make it back to the parking lot, and the realization that we drove here separately hits me like a meteor.
“Have you been to this town before?” She looks up at me without separating yet.
“Only once before. I think there’s a small main drag, I’m sure, that has food spots.” My stomach growls aggressively at the thought of food. It’s nearly four, and I doubt she’s eaten anything either. “I’ll text you a place, and I’ll follow behind your car.”
“See you soon, Parker,” she says as she gives me a fist bump before heading to her car. I miss her already.
The drive only takes about ten minutes until we get to the center of the tiny town, which is a few blocks with a post office, a couple of restaurants, a coffee shop, and a couple of small stores.
I thought Auburn Hills was a small town, but this is like its own different planet.
The street overlooks the small harbor that connects to the Pacific Ocean, and the folks of the town are milling around, finishing up their day and, like Annika and I, looking for some food.
We park next to each other on a side street and wander for a few minutes before our noses lead us to a little Italian restaurant on one of the street corners.
It’s decorated as if you are in a seaside town in Italy rather than Oregon.
They have lattice and little grape vines hanging from them, covering the outdoor patio.
Inside the walls are warm tones of oranges and greens with soft instrumental music playing.
We get seated in a cozy corner spot on the outdoor patio.
We are silent as we scan the menu and order, and it’s only until we take our first bites of complimentary bread and olive oil that we acknowledge each other’s company.
“This bread is healing my soul,” says Annika as she chews slowly like each bite is her last.
“I love the little crackle of spices in the olive oil. It’s really tasty.” We chew and look at each other, smiling. “What are you smiling about?”
“I can’t believe we are here, that this is happening between us,” she says as she tears another chunk of bread off, smooshing it in the olive oil spice mixture.
“I know what you mean, but I’m ready for this. All of this. I’m ready to go all in with you, Annika.”
“Whoa, French bread makes you talk really seriously.”
I crack a smile at her hint to lighten up. “Well, you mean a lot to me. I—”
“I don’t want to lose you again, either. But you just came out of a relationship. And not even a short one, you guys dated for like a year.”
“It’s been several months since it ended.”
“What happens if we start a relationship and you start comparing us, or you realize you haven’t had enough time to heal?”
“Let me make this clear to you.” I look her square in the eyes and grab her hand. “You are the one I compared everyone else to. You are my number one.”
Her eyes start to get glassy. “Damn, Parker. You’re making me cry over breadsticks.”
“I just want us to be open with each other. I don’t want us to hide our feelings. I think that’s what went wrong before.”
“There were so many other things that went wrong. I wasn’t ready for any of it. I was in denial.”
“Sometimes I wonder if things could have worked out differently.”
She starts to shake her head as soon as I say that. “No, I don’t.”
“What do you mean? All that heartache and all those tears and frustration, I’d send it all away in an instant if I could start a relationship with you without having three extra bags to unpack.
” I look around the restaurant, realizing I’m getting riled up about our discussion of the past. Thankfully, the rest of the patrons are too busy with their evenings to realize two people are finally checking into reality.
“My mom always tells me, ‘Everything happens for a reason.’ I don’t think there are coincidences.
I think we were supposed to go through all that shit.
Reid, I was lost for so long. I was pretending to be someone I thought I should be.
It wasn’t until I stopped caring what other people thought of me that I realized it’s my life to live and that I was ready to love you. ”
“You love me?” I say with a goofy smile. Goosebumps rise at the four-letter word.
“Is that all you heard?” She laughs.
“I wish this was a booth so I could smother you right now.” Instead, I reach over and rest my hand on her thigh and kiss the side of her head.
“Speaking of that, you asked the hostess about hotels around here, right?” She wiggles her eyebrows again at me.
I return a devious smirk and say, “Yes, I already called. It’s an inn that overlooks the ocean. They have a room available for us. That way, you know, we don’t have to drive back tonight.”
“Yes, of course, just because we don’t have to drive.” She hides her blushing cheeks behind her water glass as she takes a sip.
The waiter interrupts our flirtations by bringing us our entrees which we promptly scarf down.
Our conversation flows between the town we are in, our jobs, Chloe and Tyler, and how Annika wants to take a trip back home soon.
We occasionally bring up our past, and I know it won’t be something we can resolve immediately.
We both still have scars reminding us of the past. I know we can help each other heal.
The inn is a few blocks away, so we bring our cars over to the lot that connects to the building. I am both so incredibly nervous and excited. I’m also incredibly exhausted from the rollercoaster of emotions we’ve gone through.
Our room is simple and quaint. There is one king bed in the center with a sea foam green comforter and two nightstands.
A small balcony sits just outside that opens up to a beautiful view of the ocean.
Maybe we should stay here a couple of nights.
I could prolong returning home for a bit longer to continue living in this fantasy with her.
We set our few belongings in the closet, and I see Annika realize we have no spare change of clothes.
“Oh, maybe we should stop at one of those little shops and get a change of clothes?”
“That’s a great idea.” I pull her nearer, wrapping my hands around her low back and giving her another deep kiss. I could get used to this. I love feeling her body fuse against mine. Two magnets finally drawn together.
We head down to the street, looking for any stores open. Luckily, a convenience store is open, and we are able to get some toiletries and some basic underwear. Not sexy at all, but this will at least be better than the sandy briefs I have on now.
A few doors down, a souvenir shop is still open.
It’s your typical small-town gift shop with magnets, postcards, mugs, and name key chains.
We make a beeline for the back that has sweatshirts, T-shirts, and sweatpants folded along the wall.
We decide on matching gray and green sweatsuits that have the town name across the chest and along the right leg.
Annika swipes a postcard from the spinning display just before we check out, turning to give me a smile.
She reaches up and touches her pendant again like it’s always been there.
We walk along the street hand in hand, slowly making our way back to the inn with our loot.
“You inspired me to move out of San Diego, you know,” she says, looking up at me.
I narrow my gaze. “How so?”
“When we matched on Flame, you told me to figure it out. And not to be dramatic, it has haunted me ever since. I realized I never knew what I actually wanted.”
I wince. “Honestly, that whole interaction makes me feel like shit. I was so mean.” She frowns at this.
“It didn’t feel good, that’s for sure, but it also was the truth. I kind of deserved it for how I ended things with us.”
We find a bench outside the inn that overlooks the harbor and sit, continuing our conversation.
“Why did you end things? I thought, I mean, I know we had a connection. Clearly,” I say, motioning between us, scooting closer to her.
She shrugs and shakes her head. “I was afraid, I guess. I was stressed about school and this idea of how I should be spending my college experience. I was so overwhelmed by my feelings toward you I chickened out. I was a coward. I’m sorry, Reid.”
I exhale, pulling her into me. “I forgive you. We were so young, and I felt the same insecurities.”
“But you went along anyway.”
“I didn’t care if you distracted me. I was enjoying being around you too much.”
“I’m happy this is our moment. It feels right, even though it’s thirteen years after I saw you in that stinky lunchroom.”
She mindlessly drags her fingers along my arm, raising goosebumps in their wake. I nuzzle my face in her head, yearning to get closer to her, to feel her skin against mine.
“Are you ready to go back to the room?” I look at her, discovering she has two flecks of light brown in her eyes.
She lights up with a mischievous smile. “Race ya!” Darting up off the bench, she flees through the inn entrance.
We are fumbling around each other, giggling and kissing as we make our way up the stairs and to our room. I pull out my key and try to unlock the door, but Annika keeps trying to slide in front of me to kiss my neck.
I laugh. “Hold your horses. Let me get the door open.”
“I can’t wait.”