Chapter 4 Ezrah
Chapter four
Ezrah
Ileave Sebastian with Conrad, who'll show him everything behind the bar. Before I go see my boss, I need a second to breathe, so I storm into the bathroom.
Splashing my face with cold water helps a bit, but not much.
One look at my reflection, and I'm thrown back to one of the darkest moments of my life – the day after I caught Aziel cheating.
How could he do this to me?
We've been together since we were sixteen. We grew up side by side, shared our first kiss, our first time. It was us against the world, and I believed it always would be.
But here I am, sitting in the empty apartment of a friend who's away on vacation. He offered to let me crash here. I couldn't bear another second in the place Aziel and I shared.
There's a knock on the door, but I don't move. Whoever it is, they'll leave. My friend isn't home, and no one else knows I'm here.
God, I feel so stupid, so naive.
A little boy who believed his first love would be his last.
I trusted Aziel with everything I had. I loved him with my whole heart. I worked two jobs to support him while he studied, cheered for him through every milestone, even the small ones.
Did none of it mean anything to him?
Was I really that easy to throw away?
Did I mean so little?
The knocking grows louder, more insistent, until I curse under my breath and storm to the door. I yank it open, ready to tell whoever it is to fuck off.
But I freeze.
Sebastian stands there, uncertain, with wide eyes and a trembling lip.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" I snap.
"Daddy, I'm sorry," he whispers, his lower lip trembling.
I shake my head, rubbing at my tired eyes. "Don't call me that. Not now, Sebastian. Please. I'm in no mood for company. Least of all my ex's little brother."
His face falls completely, shoulders slumping, but his lips keep trembling.
"I'm so sorry," he says softly.
I laugh out loud at the absurdity. The laugh is harsh and bitter.
Nine years together. Nine fucking years I've been with Aziel, married for one. Aziel cheats, and not once does he apologize. Not once. And here's his little brother at my door, apologizing as if he's the one who did something wrong.
"Da-" Sebastian catches himself, correcting quickly. "Ezrah, I really am sorry."
I close my eyes, fighting with myself. The last thing I want is to break down in front of him. But before I can tell him to leave, he throws himself into my arms.
And God help me, I cling to him.
Tears streak down my face as I hold Aziel's baby brother, because in this moment, I realize how badly I need someone to hold me.
It's bizarre. Wrong.
But I have no one else. Aziel's family was my family. But I lost them too, the second I lost Aziel. The thought makes me cling to Sebastian desperately. I can't face losing Sebastian as well.
Aziel was my world. But they were my home too.
"You're not alone. I'm here. I'll always be here. I promise," Sebastian whispers, rubbing my back.
And for the next month, he keeps that promise.
I'm a complete mess. I don't shower. I don't eat. I barely sleep. But Sebastian is there through all of it. He feeds me, cooks light meals, and makes sure I eat. He prepares baths, even jokes he'd help scrub me down if I asked. He stays up with me when I can't sleep, drags me out when I need air.
Once, he even takes me to the gym, insisting I need to burn off the anger. Because of him, I started to like fitness.
He listens, always. He listens when I speak about his brother, switching between fury and pain. I miss Aziel one moment, remember our good, happy times, but in the next, I'm full of anger when I remember what he did to me.
Through it all, Sebastian stands by me.
I've never seen that side of him before. He isn't just my ex's kid brother anymore. He's… solid. Loyal. He could stand with his brother, with his own blood. He could hate me for the things I say about his brother. But he doesn't.
He chooses me even though I never asked him to.
A small, selfish part of me is grateful. Because I know it will hurt Aziel. And I want it to.
The worst part is, I get attached. Too attached. I depend on Sebastian, and that becomes clear the day he leaves.
One moment he's here. The next, I get a letter saying he's going to study abroad in England.
I feel betrayed, even though I know it's for the best. He has his life, and I need to figure out mine.
The memory twists in my gut.
Sebastian is back now. And he isn't the awkward kid I remember or the guy who helped me after my husband cheated. He's a man. A man I just checked out without even realizing who he was.
Fuck.
I splash more cold water on my face, forcing myself to get a grip. My boss is waiting, and I have a job to do.
Sebastian working here won't change my life.
Just because he's back doesn't mean anything.