Chapter 19
Chapter nineteen
Ezrah
It should feel weird, what's happening between Sebastian and me, but it doesn't. Instead, it feels right in a way nothing else ever had.
Watching the pure joy on his face when he saw the toys I bought for him did something to my heart that I can't name. I want to see him smiling like this all the time. The joy was childlike, so pure and sincere. It was something that you don't see often in adults these days.
And Sebastian deserves to be happy.
What I didn't expect was the strong desire for me to make him happy.
I want to be the reason for his smile, for his laughter, for his joy, and so much more.
I hope the plan for today will be something Sebastian enjoys. He went to take a shower, but before that, demanded a pair of my boxers and a shirt. I tried to tell him they'd be too big, but he refused to wear his clothes from yesterday.
My bedroom door opens, and Sebastian strides out. My jaw hits the floor when I see him. He's wearing his tight shorts from yesterday, and my shirt, knotted just bellow his chest and with the sleeves rolled up.
Seeing him in my clothes makes me feel like a caveman. I want him to wear my things all the time.
I stride toward him and pull him into me.
"I like you in my clothes," I say.
"Is that so?" His smile is nothing short of sinful. "That's a good thing, since from now on your closet and clothes are mine too."
"You won't ask permission first?"
"No. But I'll make it up to you."
"How exactly do you plan on doing that?"
"You'll have to wait and see."
The easy banter between us is something I didn't expect. Instead of dwelling on the feelings rising within me, I claim his lips. He surrenders to the kiss, giving me control, parting his lips when I demand entrance with my tongue.
The sweet little moan he lets out goes straight to my cock.
With great effort, I pull back and take his hand. "Let's go."
"Lead the way, Daddy."
Fuck. I haven't smiled this much in years.
I drive to the restaurant I reserved for us. It's one of those Italian places with killer food and even better ice cream desserts.
"I hope you like Italian food," I say as we sit at our table.
"I've never been to an Italian restaurant, but I love pizza."
"I want you to order whatever you like and tell me your favorite things so I can order for you next time."
It isn't a question, it's more of a demand. But I'm watching him closely, reading his reaction, because I need to know if he's okay with me doing that.
He swallows, looking from me to the menu and back.
"Yes, Daddy."
When the server comes, I order a bottle of water while Sebastian takes his time. In the end, he goes for a margherita pizza, and I order lasagne.
"Can I ask you something?" I say.
"You can ask me anything, Daddy."
"What kind of Daddy do you need and want?"
He cocks his head, studying me like I've just asked if he believes in aliens.
"You. You're the Daddy I want."
I chuckle, but then realize he's dead serious.
"Sebastian, I mean, what kind of dynamic do you want between us. What are your hard limits, your safe words? What do you need from your Daddy?"
He opens and closes his mouth several times. I can see him struggling, so I continue.
"I want to tell you that I've never been a Daddy."
"It doesn't matter to me." He says it so simply that I relax. "I've never had a Daddy before either."
His words appeal to the savage part of me. Part of me likes this far too much.
"Never?"
"Never. You're my Daddy."
Just then, our food arrives, and we focus on eating. I'm too busy replying in my head that I'll be his first Daddy. Maybe even his last.
We eat in comfortable silence, then order dessert – ice cream cake for both of us.
"So," Sebastian starts, "You asked me some questions, and I thought about it."
"You can tell me anything, Sebastian. Don't worry," I say when I see him biting his lip.
"I'll start with the easy part. I have only two hard limits. First, no choking unless we talk about it beforehand. Second, no hitting, in or outside of the bedroom."
My eyes widen in horror, and I choke on my water. Once I've caught my breath, I take his hand.
"I would never hit you. In the bedroom or outside of it."
"I know, Daddy." He beams at me with so much trust it nearly undoes me. "You asked, so I wanted to be honest."
"Thank you, boy. I'll remember both your hard limits."
"Do you have some?"
"What? Hard limits?" He nods. "Yes. One. No cheating. Not emotional, not physical. I can handle a lot, Sebastian, but betrayal isn't one of them."
"That's not even a question for me, Daddy."
I squeeze his hand before urging, "Go on."
"Okay, for safewords, my safeword is tree. And when I want more, I'll say red."
"Well, this may be a little bit confusing. Red is usually used to stop."
The wicked smile on his face screams trouble.
"I love red."
"Okay, then I'll use them too, if I need to."
His lips twitch into a smile before he continues. "Now, what kind of dynamic I want with my Daddy. This is also easy. I want the kind of dynamic that we build together."
"I'd like that too," I admit, smiling like a fool.
"Good. Now onto the part that might send you away screaming."
"You won't scare me, Sebastian." I play with his fingers to steady him.
"What I need from my Daddy, from you, is devotion. I want to be your focus, your center, your everything. I want you to possess every part of me and my life. I want you to claim me as yours in every way possible. This is what I want."
My heartbeat quickens. His words mirror the desires deep inside me. And yet I sense he's holding back, as if the darker details are left unsaid.
"Then this is what we'll do," I say carefully. "But one step at a time. We don't rush this."
"Can I ask why?"
He's bared himself to me. It's only fair I try too.
"The only real relationship I've had was with Aziel. After that, I stuck to hookups. But I don't want you to be just another bed partner."
"You want more? Why me, though?"
He asks the hard questions, and I admire him for that.
"Yes, I want more with you." I squeeze his hand. "Why you? That's something even I don't know yet. It shouldn't be possible. It shouldn't make sense. But it does."
"Because of our history?"
"Yes. Because I knew you when you were a kid. Because we have a history, as your brother's ex-husband, and you as Aziel's brother. But there's more."
"More?"
"You were the only person who was there for me when Aziel cheated on me. It's something I'll never forget. Then you disappeared but returned into my life as a man that caught my eyes in ways no one ever had."
"Not even my brother?"
"Not even him," I confess. I hold his gaze. "I want you to know something, Sebastian. There are darker sides to me that I'm not sure you'll like."
Sebastian's pupils dilate, and he tightens his grip on my hand.
"I can handle the darkness, Daddy."
We'll see. But fuck, I want to believe him.
After dessert, I pay, and we leave for the park. With cotton candy in hand, Sebastian beams like a child.
"This is the best date I've ever had!" he exclaims with his mouth full of pink fluff.
I laugh and swipe my finger over his lip. "The date is not yet over, boy."
"Oh? What else do you have planned?"
"Movie night with dragons before our shift starts."
"I love this plan."
We walk hand in hand, talking about favorite movies, shows, food, games, and places we'd like to visit.
"Can I ask you how you know Ethan? I've wondered for some time. Especially since you're twenty," I say.
I know Ethan's club is above the law. I'm not blind. But still, hiring a twenty-year-old to work there bothered me. Or maybe, I was just worried he's taking advantage of Sebastian.
"Oh. We met three years ago. I did something for him, and he owed me a favor. So when I asked him to hire me, he agreed." Like he could read my mind he adds, "Ethan didn't care about IDs or age. He cares about loyalty and competence."
"You asked him to work in the bar?" I'm curious about what he did for a man like Ethan that ended with him owing Sebastian a favor, but I don't think it's my place to ask. Yet.
He nods easily. "Of course. My Daddy works there, after all."
I falter in my steps, and he stops, looking up at me.
"You knew I was working there?"
"Of course."
"And you came to work in the Vicious Vines because of me?"
"Yes."
His answers are so simple, so sincere, yet they unsettle me. It should scare me that he started working at the bar because of me. But instead of fear, what I feel is elation.
Wrapping my hand around the back of his neck, I kiss him hard. The sweet taste of cotton lingers on my lips.
When I pull back, I whisper against him, "You could have asked for anything from a man like Ethan."
"I could have, but there's only one thing I wanted. You."