35. Chapter Thirty-Five
Chapter Thirty-Five
E mma
He’s behind me.
I feel the gaze of his dark presence following me, even though I can’t see him. Damn it, why can't I see him? Whenever I turn around, there's nothing but wind and the cobbled pavement leading out of the alley.
God, why did I come into this alley in the first place?
The spicy scent of leftover curry from the restaurant next door peppers the air, mingling with the acrid aroma of my fear. The streetlights barely illuminate the steps in front of me, and darkness looms in the distance like a threat. Even when I listen closely, I can’t hear the hint of footsteps behind me. Yet I feel him anyway, a steady menace coming closer and closer.
Finally, I break into a run.
My footsteps steadily tap against the pavement, my breath panting in the air. It’s only a light jog at first, but when I hear something fall over, perhaps a garbage can, I speed up. That fear is a creature in my chest now, tightening to the point where I can no longer breathe.
I push my limbs to go faster to overcome the fear, but they lag. And the burn in my muscles can no longer be ignored. Now I can finally hear the drum of footsteps behind me. Someone gave chase. They're getting closer and closer.
I stumble on a rock, falling.
Possessive hands grab my shoulders and spin me around. I stare into the crazed eyes of a boy I used to love.
"Gotcha," he says with a smile.
I bolt up in bed, gasping for air, and I'm immediately dragged into strong, muscular arms. Instinctively I fight against it, struggling and hitting at him, trying to get him to let me go, but then a voice rumbles out of the body.
"Easy," he says. "Take it easy. You’re okay."
Familiarity immediately eases my tension. I know that voice. It's not Xavier's. And the body holding me doesn’t smell like faintly sweet cologne. Instead, it's the warm scent of sandalwood that greets me, mixed in with the coffee he had earlier.
Declan. The name echoes somewhere deep inside. Declan has you.
And just like that, my flight or fight instinct dissipates, and I relax against his hold, allowing him to calm my runaway heartbeat.
"That’s it," he coos, rubbing my back. "You’re not in danger. You’re here with me."
"Mmm," I murmur my agreement as I shut my eyes and enjoy his caress.
I know eventually it will sink in that I just made a fool of myself in front of him. And eventually, I'll have to deal with the embarrassment of that. Declan will also have questions for me and that will trigger even more memories that I try to keep buried.
But for now, I just want to enjoy being in his embrace.
Despite that, the memories threaten to invade the peaceful atmosphere anyway.
I haven’t had a dream about Xavier in a long time. I took that to mean I was finally getting over what happened in the past, and that I was moving on from it. But now he had to reappear and throw all of that into chaos.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Declan asks, his voice steady as a rock amid my panic.
I shake my head. "No."
There’s a pause and I know that curiosity is killing him. He's fighting himself not to ask. I manage to smile into his shirt. Maybe I owe him an explanation on some level.
Besides, I know if I don’t tell him now, he’s going to try to get it out of me eventually.
Might as well give him a partial truth to satisfy his curiosity.
"I had a nightmare," I start.
"Yeah, I figured that much." The amusement in his voice makes me nudge my elbow into his side, to which he chuckles. His big hand crawls into my hair massaging the base of my scalp. Currents of pleasure roll throughout my body, and I release a moan tucking myself more comfortably into his arms.
I enjoy his soothing touch for a few more seconds before I admit, "I had a stalker once."
The touch halts. The shock is louder than the silence.
"Back in California," I tell him. "A few weeks before I left, I noticed this guy following me. He would show up at my classes even though we didn’t have the same ones. He switched his classes to match mine. And then he became a regular at the bar where I worked too. I would also randomly see him at the grocery store and stuff. I didn’t think much of it at first. I thought it could have all been a coincidence actually. Until one day I caught him following me home."
"Did he attack you?" Declan's voice is deceptively casual, but nothing can hide the tension in his shoulders even as his touch remains gentle.
"No," I say. "I was scared he would, so I reported it to the police. One night he attempted to break into my house and they caught him and questioned him. They eventually let him go after that, but I think he got the message and didn’t bother me again."
"Bastard," he says. "They just let him go?"
I shrug. "They didn’t have enough evidence to hold him there forever. He had to pay a fine though and at least this way, people were aware of the fact that he was stalking me. That must have spooked him because he left me alone after that."
"Do you know his name?"
"No," I lie. "Why?"
"No reason." His tone is once again deceptively soft, but he’s not fooling me. I recognize that devious undertone.
"What are you planning?" I ask.
"Nothing," he says and then hugs me tighter. "You think you can get some sleep now?"
"Yeah. I only have a nightmare about it once in a while, but I’m usually fine after."
"You might be finer if the bastard wasn’t breathing anymore."
I glance up at him, and he adds, "Kidding."
But there's very little mirth in his eyes.
"Right," I say.
"Just try to go to sleep," Declan says and leans back against the headrest. "I'll be here the whole time. No one will get you."
"Alright," I yawn. I don’t think it will be that easy to get to sleep, especially since my conscience nags me that I didn't tell Declan the whole story.
It’s hard because I don’t think he’ll believe me if I do.
No one believed me back then. Even after Xavier was arrested for trying to break into my house, he somehow managed to convince everyone that I was in on it.
His stalking was reframed as a couple's spat that wasn’t a big deal because we were in the process of getting back together.
I shiver a little at the memory and close my eyes. I don't think I'll be able to go to sleep anytime soon. But soon enough I find myself relaxing to the sound of Declan's heartbeat. It blocks out the sound of everything else.
And then before I know what’s happening, I’m gone to the world.
I gape in shock when I arrive at the Tiki Bar the next day.
It's barely opening time, yet a bunch of people are sitting inside, and they all look up when I arrive.
"What are you guys doing here?" I ask looking around. I recognize Poppy and her hunting team, then Hal Rojas, Buck Shoreton, and Pastor Allan. Rick and Yule are behind the counter with Carly whose pigtails bounce when she waves.
"We came to help you out," Buck says. "Rick told us that someone broke into your grandpa's place. He also said you planned on cleaning the place up today, and we thought we could help."
I glance at Rick who shrugs. "We didn’t want you to do it alone."
"But what about the bar?" I ask.
"We're closed for the day," Rick says. "You need us more than it does."
I feel tears stinging my eyes, emotion nearly overwhelming me. Although I told Declan I didn't want a bunch of strangers piling into my home, this is different. These are people I know and grew up with. My pseudo-family. And they want to help me.
Oh, I’m so touched I could cry.
Even Poppy, who I initially thought was mad at me, smiles when I look her way.
"I had some free time," is all she the explanation she gives and my heart twinges again
"Carly, don’t you have to study for a test?" I ask.
She shrugs. "I can always study later. There’s no way I’m letting you clean up by yourself. Not after everything you and Grandpa have done for me."
My Grandpa gave Carly a job despite the town's prejudice against her family. Her dad is a well-known drunk and her mom is also known to have sticky fingers, despite being a devout member of the church. Additionally, the woman has a bad temper which led to frequent screaming matches at Carly’s house.
Carly slept over at our place a few times when her folks became too much for her to handle.
"I think I'm going to cry," I say.
"Please don’t." Poppy claps her hand rising to her feet. "Alright folks, we're burning daylight. Let's ship out and get to work."
But before we can leave, the restaurant door opens with a creak, and we all turn to stare at the newcomer.
My heart stops again.
It’s Xavier.
He strides in wearing yet another of his cashmere sweaters, full of confidence.
"Who the devil are you?" Poppy asks, hostility pouring from her tone.
Xavier's easy smile falters again and he slows apprehensively.
Rick must recognize him because he growls, "What the hell is he doing here?"
"I don’t know," I say, my heart racing.
"Do you want me to get rid of him?" Rick asks, loud enough for Xavier to have heard him.
Truthfully, yes, but if I get rid of him, I have a feeling Xavier is just going to keep showing up. He's stubborn when he wants to be, and clearly, he wants to talk to me. I can’t keep running away.
"No," I say and drop it. "I’ll talk to him." At least here, surrounded by all my loved ones, nothing bad will happen.
I walk past Xavier on the way out and bite out of the side of my mouth, "Let’s talk outside."
I don’t look back. But I know he’s following me when I swing the door open and he catches it before it shuts.
We step out onto the sleepy streets, mostly empty except for a few cars parallel parked along the side. A red sedan ambles by, the driver glancing at us as he passes. Another, a blue truck, rumbles at a traffic light. No pedestrians are out this early, but there’s a distant din coming from Lou’s that assures me.
There seems to be enough people in there having breakfast. They’re just a scream away.
Once we're outside, I turn around to face him, crossing my hands over my chest.
"What do you want?’ I ask him.
He has the decency to at least look chagrined. "You don’t want to see me."
"You think?" I can't even muster the anger I used to feel toward him. There's just so much going on in my life. This is the least of my problems.
"Just tell me what you want and go already."
He nods sagely. "You're right to feel that way. I know I deserve your scorn and worse." He sighs. "But I just… I was at my uncle’s and I just couldn’t forget about you and us. And what I did to you. I’m so sorry."
"You're sorry? For which part?" I ask.
"For all of it. I was such a dick–Jesus I don't even know what came over me. It was like watching myself do all those things to you and not being able to control it. I'm so sorry, Emma." Honest regret reflects in his gaze and his misery softens my resolve a little.
"It's okay," I say.
"No, it's not," he responds. "I can't stop thinking about how not okay it was. And the thing with Georgia–" I stiffen when he mentions his girlfriend's name. "Just know that I never meant what happened to happen. I was going to break up with her, but she was having finals and some family stuff and it just seemed like a bad time, but then I met you and– "
"We really don't have to rehash this Xavier–"
"No. I need you to know." He holds up his hand and takes a deep breath. "I swear to you Emma, that I didn't mean for you to be the other woman. In my mind, things with Georgia were already over, and meeting you proved it. I'd never felt like that with anyone else. Being with you was intoxicating and made me happier than I'd ever felt before. I loved you. That much was true."
"The cheating was the least of our problems, Xavier," I tell him. "Or did you forget that you stalked me?"
He shakes his head, shame crawling over his face. "That was fucked up, I know. I don't have an excuse. All I know is that when I lost you, I think I lost my mind a little too. I needed to get you back and that was the only way I knew how. That's the only explanation I have for what happened. Please, can you find it in you to forgive me?"
I close my eyes and sigh, feeling whatever pain I used to feel just bleeds out of me. Damn it. I can't hold a grudge to save my life.
And Xavier does look genuinely broken up about it.
Maybe my friends in Cali were right. Maybe I did blow everything out of proportion. This whole time I may have been exaggerating everything a little, my mind seeing Xavier as the boogeyman when he's never hit me or hurt me. At most, he yelled at me.
So how bad could he really be?
Plus there’s a tiny, not entirely rational part of me that believes that at least some of his actions were due to our pearl exchange, because we weren’t in true love.
And while Declan might not believe the curse is real, I’m not entirely sure it’s not.
I mean, I try not to be superstitious but how else do I explain Xavier's sudden and scary obsession?
So how can I truly blame Xavier for what he did when supernatural forces were at play too?
"It's okay," I say finally. "I forgive you. Truly."
His eyes widen. "You do?"
I nod.
"That's great." He exhales and before I can react or protest, he draws me into a hug.
I stiffen but I resist the urge to push him away. I don't want him to doubt the authenticity of my forgiveness. I can take a hug for at least a minute.
But we're broken apart by a growl coloring the air.
And that's when I find Declan a few feet away glaring at Xavier.