37. Chapter Thirty-Seven
Chapter Thirty-Seven
E mma
Making out has never been like this before.
I only know tender lovemaking and the semi-awkward fumbling that mostly occurred in my teenage years.
And even with Declan, when we were rushed and harried, desperate for each other, every move was always gentled by the strict control he had over himself.
But it’s clear that right now, Declan is currently all the way out of control.
I can tell from the way his hand tightens in my hair, his lips devouring my mouth, his body pressing against mine like he wants to be inside me.
He groans and mutters, ‘"Fuck. I can’t help myself. I can’t fucking help myself around you."
But rather than scare me, his intensity excites me. It incites an animalistic urge inside me that has me nipping and biting his lips, crying out for more when he squeezes my hair harder and pulls my head back so he can attack my neck with more suckling kisses.
My body is pressed between his and the wall, even though I have no recollection of us moving.
I rut against him wildly and then push closer. My hand moves between us to grab his cock.
"Fuck." The harsh curse flies out of his lips, accompanied by a moan when I squeeze around the base attempting to get my entire hand to circle him completely. His girth makes it impossible but I don't stop trying.
Until I'm suddenly airborne, his kiss harsher, tongue filthier.
My harsh breath sounds obscene to my ears.
My legs wrap around Declan's waist instinctively.
I don’t know what’s happening, but I sense the ruffling and a rip as my tank top comes clean off in his hands. Then lips are on my chest and my bra soon follows.
I cry out when I feel his teeth around my nipple. He nips it the same way I did his lips, before sucking it into his mouth mercilessly. I buck in his hold. His hand squeezes my ass, and it takes me a second to realize that I’m rutting against him, helplessly wanting. My pussy is an inferno and it feels like that heat has spread throughout my body. The scent of sweat and lust makes the air heavy and I can hardly breathe through my lust.
"Say no," he says again. "Stop me now. Please. I can't be gentle with you."
I don’t want gentle and I don’t want to stop him.
I'd probably die if he stopped.
I want to say all this but all that comes out of my mouth is a wanting cry.
I reach between and squeeze his cock again, pumping up and down.
His entire body jerks at the first pump and by the third pump a visible shake travels down him. And then I hear the familiar sound of his belt unbuckling his zipper being torn down.
Thank God, I chose to wear something as light and easy as my slacks today because it simply snaps off in his hands. My panties are torn away too, and maybe tomorrow I’ll think about how ridiculous it is that he's ripping perfectly good clothes, rather than giving me a second to take them off.
But neither of us has a second to spare.
I thought stuff like ripping off clothes during sex only happened in the movies and romance books, but that was before I truly understood what desire is.
This, this mind-altering lust that turns me into an animal...
I've never felt a desire like this before.
And Declan, as much as he infuriates me, is the only one who can rouse this kind of passion inside me.
Because I love him.
I try to bury that thought by dragging his lips to mine for another tortured kiss, but I've never been one to lie to myself very well. The feeling is there, beating in my chest despite my best efforts. It can't be denied.
I feel his cock touch my entrance and squirm against him, begging for it.
"Please." The word falls from my lips in place of a breath and Declan swallows my desperate cries once more. And then when his cock finally pushes into me, all the breath whooshes out of my chest.
And then he slams into me to the hilt, splintering what's left of my sanity.
I throw my head back. Pressure builds in my chest as he groans like a dying man. I can’t make a single sound. The cacophony of pain and pleasure has me drawn so tight that I can’t even think
"Emma." He cries out my name. "Fuck, Emma."
And then he pulls out and does it again.
My toes curl and the energy zaps through me. I can't feel anything but the peaks of pleasure bursting through me again and again. As Declan fucks me like an animal against the wall, he unleashes the beast inside me too.
I scratch his back.
I rip out his hair.
At some point, I nip his shoulder, and he moans, his cock hardening inside me and his hips driving faster.
"Yes," he says when I do. "Bite me. Make me yours."
I half think I imagine the words because it’s difficult to think of Declan saying something so vulnerable. But I don’t imagine the looks on his face when I pry open my eyes. Pained pleasure has taken over his features but there's also something nakedly desperate on his face.
"You’re mine." His lips are drawn into a snarl "Don’t forget it."
"Attention: Dr. Lawson, please report to the ICU. Dr. Lawson, please report to the ICU."
A ding closes out the announcement, and I glance once more at the clock. The longer hand of the clock slides slightly to the right, becoming perfectly vertical. Anticipation ripples through me.
It's now six o'clock which means it's almost time.
"Alright, Grandpa?" I tuck my hands into my hoodie pockets and slide off the hospital bed. "Are you ready to go home?"
"Boy am I ready," Grandpa responds, adjusting himself in the wheelchair. He's been cleared to walk, but we're wheeling him out as part of protocol.
The hospital always gets colder at night, so Grandpa is wearing a fresh new pair of pants and a sweatshirt I got him from home.
"The grub here has been heinous lately," Grandpa says.
I roll my eyes. "Come off it. I know Rick has been bringing you food every day when I can't make it. And I also know you tried to get him to sneak you a bite of his burger."
A look of mock indignation crosses Grandpa's face, and he places his hand over his chest. "I would never."
"Yeah right." I shake my head. "Now let's say our goodbyes to Dr. Han and head home."
"Is Declan driving us?"
My mood dips. "Um, no."
I haven’t spoken to Declan since yesterday. After the fast and furious sex in his living room, he didn’t say a single word to me. He let me land on my feet, catching me when I almost fell over. But then I pushed him away, went into the room, and locked the door. I waited for him to leave before, I went back to grab my duffel bag and go.
And then I had to come to terms with what I did.
Which was having crazy monkey sex with a man I was mad at.
God, my face heats up every time I think about it.
"Declan's busy," I say, scrapping the thought. “Rick is picking you up.”
"I see." Grandpa scratches his beard as he always does when he's in thought. "How did you even know about the burger in the first place?"
I raise an eyebrow. "Rick told me."
Grandpa shakes his head. "A bunch of tattle tales y’all are. And damn that Poppy. You know how hard I had to work to get Rick to give me a bite of that burger. It smelled so good too. And then that damn Poppy came in. When she saw what was happening, she threw the entire damn thing in the trash. Can you believe it? Ranted for hours at the both of us. And she told Dr. Han to keep an extra eye on me too, so the nurses have been watching me like hawks. That old witch. You know she's had it out for me ever since I broke her heart years ago. When I spurned her for my lovely Diana."
"So you say," I respond. "But, wouldn’t you like to know that the old witch came over to visit you several times." And helped me clean up our cottage too, but I don’t add the last part.
I still haven’t told Grandpa about the break-in and don’t plan on doing so until he’s well and recovered.
It’s why I begged Cross to keep his distance today, and maybe just guard me from afar. I didn’t think he needed to be beside me, because there’s no threat, and I’m spending time surrounded by people anyway.
Cross obliged, but decided to tail me with his car anyway, which I suppose is fine as long as Grandpa doesn’t notice anything is amiss.
"Yeah, she came to give me a lecture about eating right and all that." He sighs heavily. "Rick doesn't bring anything good around me anymore."
"He better not. Dr. Han gave me a list of foods you can eat. It's a lot of veggies, fruit, fish, and vegan meat."
I laugh at the appalled look on Grandpa's face, as I wheel him out. Several nurses call out their goodbyes as we roll down the hallway, and Grandpa answers them one by one, each by name.
"Mavis, I’ll see you at church. And Talia, you at Mahjong. And tell Hibbard that we’re still on for fishing this Sunday. Already cleared it with the doctor."
"I'll let him know," Talia calls back with a friendly wave.
Dr. Han meets us at the entrance, on his way in.
"Good man." My grandpa calls. "Thank you for everything."
"No problem." Dr. Han smiles in that friendly manner of his. "Just make sure I don't see you in here again."
"Oh trust me, doc. I'm going to try my damn hardest."
Finally, we’re outside in the early autumn air. The wheels crackle over the pavement as I wheel him into the parking lot. Rick grins at the both of us, standing in front of his truck.
"Welcome back to the real world, old man," he says to Grandpa.
"Glad to be back." Grandpa gestures with one hand and I help him out of the chair. He leans on me on the ascent, but by the time he's fully standing he carries most of his weight and detaches his hand to stand on his own two feet.
He reaches out a hand and clasps Rick's in a tight handshake. "Thank you so much, old friend, for taking care of the bar and my little girl while I was away."
"You say that like we ain't best friends," Rick jokes. "And we both know Emma is like a daughter to me."
"And you're like a brother to me."
"A much younger, much handsomer brother," Rick amends, which makes Grandpa laugh.
On the drive home, Grandpa and Rick are occupied with talking about fishing, while I make final arrangements over the phone in the backseat.
I let the window stay down, so I can enjoy the gentle wind that ruffles my hair and smooths across my face. I spend the rest of the time watching the sunset and recalling my conversation with Amelia this morning.
I went over when I knew Declan would be at work, to tell her that I was moving back home. She expressed surprise and regret that I was leaving, but I assured her that I had to.
For my own sanity.
Nevertheless, melancholy still threatens, looming on my horizon.
As we approach our cottage, I let out a breath of relief when I see that all the trash has been cleared. Yule really brought it.
The trash had piled up yesterday as we cleaned up and this morning, we put the finishing touches on the home. Rick told Yule to transfer the trash somewhere else before we got home, and the latter managed to get all twenty huge bags and the broken furniture taken out.
I'll have to get him something to thank him.
"We redecorated a little while you were gone," I utter the lie we prepared as Rick and I walk Grandpa up our porch. "It was way too crowded and so we put a bunch of stuff in storage. Also changed some of the couches. Hope you don't mind."
As Rick pulls open the door Grandpa muses on it. "Well, I suppose it would depend on how much it cha–"
"Surprise!" Screams about two dozen people standing in our living room that, even with all the furniture still there, look strangely bare without our little knick-knacks and family mementos. Still, we lit some scented candles and placed Airwicks at the corners so the home smells like eggnog and feels just as homey as ever.
Most of the guests are regulars from the restaurant but there are also a few people, like the bus driver, who know Grandpa from around town.
"Welcome home," Carly says and she skips over to hug him.
"Oh my," is all my grandpa can say as he hugs her back. His eyes get teary, and his voice trembles as he says, "Y'all organized all this for me?"
"What are you talking about?" Rick slaps his shoulder. "Of course we did."
Grandpa rubs his eyes and shakes his head, unable to speak for some time. "You're going to have this old man leaking all over the place," he says rubbing his eyes too, and I get teary-eyed too.
The rest of the evening is spent with warm chatter surrounded by family and friends. Everyone munches on refreshments and hangs around, as my Grandpa occupies himself by telling stories of things that happened on dark, stormy nights.
This is my life, I remind myself. And it's not a bad one. I'm surrounded by love, even if it’s not the romantic type. This is enough.
The next morning, as I walk the twenty-five minutes to the Marriott Hotel, my phone rings.
"Hello?"
"Hey, it's me," Xavier says.
"Oh hi." Even though I decided to forgive him, I'm still not entirely comfortable talking to him. I hope it doesn't show when I say, "Listen, this isn't a good time."
"Oh? Are you busy?"
"Yeah. Kind of. What's up?"
"Um...just thought maybe we could meet up. How about tomorrow? Maybe at that spot by the lake, you took me last time, where you found me that...pearl thingy."
"Rainbow Pearl." I correct. I don't want to go anywhere with Xavier, least of all somewhere secluded like that. "Um, how about at the Tiki Bar instead? We could have lunch there." That's better, safer.
He hesitates. "You sure your boyfriend won't pop out and kick my ass again?"
"He's not my boyfriend and no, he won't come. We're not really together anymore."
"Oh." His voice has a curious intonation. "Well, in that case, sure thing. Tomorrow at the Tiki Bar it is."
"Great."
I barely hang up when I suddenly bump into a broad chest. Hands go out to steady me and then I look up.
The apology freezes in my throat as a familiar masculine scent wraps around me like the wind.
Declan.