Chapter 8
My foot tapped against the concrete of the porch.
My eyes were set on the sky above, watching the clouds skate by.
A car pulled into the driveway, and one of El’s clients stepped out.
We nodded at the same time as he headed toward her barbering shed.
Business was still slow for her, so she was short on the bills.
I was down to my last band and had no clue what I was going to do next.
El wouldn’t judge me for being a broke-ass nigga, but that shit didn’t sit right with my spirit.
At fifteen, I was getting to the money and taking care of myself.
I couldn’t move the way I used to though, because the last place I wanted to end up was back in prison.
This week, I spent a lot of time at the library looking for jobs, but none of the employers would bite.
It was expected. I had no work history and only a high-school diploma—no degrees, no certifications, no chance at being hired when they ran my criminal background to see I’d done time.
I was telling myself to remain positive, but it wasn’t working.
I officially didn’t have a dime to my name.
What the fuck was I going to do? I didn’t know how long I sat out on the porch racking my brain.
At least three of El’s clients had come and gone when I finally came up with a solution.
It was the last thing I wanted to do, but it was necessary.
Going inside the house, I went to my bedroom to look for the bag of things I brought home with me from prison.
There, amongst the many letters, I found Tashay’s number.
My father had told me to call her if I ever needed help.
I couldn’t keep going like this. El deserved better from me, and I was afraid that if I didn’t get better, she wouldn’t want me.
I couldn’t handle not being good enough for another woman.
After taking a deep breath, I typed the number in, then called her.
I waited on bated breath for her to pick up.
“Hello.” Her voice came through the line.
I scratched my beard and sighed. “Um, what’s up, Shay? It’s Perfect.”
I could hear the smile in her voice when she replied. “I was wondering how long it was going to take you to call me. You good, son?”
“I mean kinda. I’ve run out of money and need to get back on my feet. I’ve been staying with a friend for the time being, but I need work. I don’t feel right living here if I can’t contribute to the household.”
There was some shuffling around before she responded. “Well, you know I’m here for you. Your father made me wait until you called for help, but he put something together for you in case you needed help figuring out your next move. Where are you? I’ll come pick you up.”
I couldn’t say I was surprised my father was trying to look out for me. He was determined to make sure I didn’t go back behind the wall. “I’m over on the east. I’ll text you the address.”
“Okay, sounds good. Everything is going to be fine, Perfect. I promise.”
We hung up not long after her declaration, and I felt a little lighter.
Going into my text thread, I sent her the address and told her to come in the morning.
I glanced up just as El appeared in the doorway.
My heart raced a little knowing I would have to leave her behind, but I truly believed it was for the best. I couldn’t take care of either of us, and it was eating me up.
“Hey, you okay? What’s on your mind?”
I ran a hand down my face and shook my head. “I’m good, Princess. You done for the day?”
She came into the room, pushed me back on the bed, and straddled my lap.
“Yeah, I am, which means I get to have you all to myself.” She hovered over my lips, and all I could do was study her.
I had to memorize every detail of her beautiful face because while I was doing this for myself, deep down, I knew she was my motivation.
I hadn’t expected to build a beautiful bond with El in such a short amount of time.
But I wanted to be the best version of myself for her.
“You sure you’re okay? Seems like you have a lot on your mind,” she said because she was studying me as well.
My hands slid up the sides of her body. She was always so soft and smelled sweet.
El had quickly become my addiction, just as much as I’d become hers.
I wanted to tell her what I had planned, but I knew what she would say.
“It’s fine, Perfect. I can handle everything until you find a job.
” And that was a huge no for me. I was not the kind of man to be taken care of by a woman.
I never had been, and I never would be. Hell, my own mother didn’t take care of me, and her ass was supposed to.
“I do, but I’m good, Princess.” I smacked her on the ass, and she giggled. “Come sit on my face so that pussy is all that’s on my mind.”
She sat up, pulled her shirt over her head, then tossed it to the side. “Yes, sir.”
All I could do was enjoy every second of our last night together because once the morning came, I would be gone. Worst of all, I didn’t know how long it would be either. That was another reason I couldn’t tell her. I would just have to let the cards fall how they were supposed to.
Flipping us over so that I was on top, I paused to admire her oval, honey-caramel face.
Leaning down, I kissed the mole underneath her right eye.
I felt the chill that ran through her body and smiled.
I trailed my nose softly across her cheek until I got to the one by her ear.
I placed a kiss there too. Again, she shuddered from the anticipation.
The last thing I did was kiss a trail from her ear to the mole right above her lip.
I closed my eyes, trying my best to hold my tears captive.
This shit wasn’t like what happened with Star, because tonight, it really felt like I was breaking my own heart.