25. CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
C ARLY
I don’t take a full breath until I step out of the room, closing the curtains behind me.
I hear Micah step out too but I don’t look at him yet. I can’t. There’s too much turmoil going on inside and I feel like, if I look at him, it might all come pouring out.
I walk down the hallway slowly and hear his footsteps follow me. I don’t stop until I’m outside and down the stairs, heading across the parking lot.
Finally, I get to his car, lean against it and inhale deeply, then exhale.
It doesn’t do much to ease the pressure inside of me. Somehow, it makes it worse.
I’m just so fucking exhausted.
I turn back to Micah, who is standing a few feet away, watching me steadily. Waiting. I don’t know what for. But I don’t want him here. Or at least I’m not supposed to want him here.
I try to recover some of the anger I felt toward him earlier today, but I don’t even have the energy to do that. I’m tired of being mad. I’m tired of feeling like life is unfair and everything is against me. I’m so tired of being tired.
Micah walks closer to me and I don’t stop him as he takes my wrist and tugs me to his body.
“Let me go,” I murmur weakly into his chest but he just shushes me, wrapping his arms around my back.
“It’s okay,” he says. “You can let go.”
I don’t want to, but I can feel the emotion hiccupping into my throat. My chest tightens, tears stinging the back of my eyes. I don’t want to cry. I’m so sick of crying. But it flows down my cheeks anyway, silently, as I clench my fists stubbornly attempting to hold them back. Then I grip his shirt too, inhaling him, crackling sobs piercing out of my throat. The breath that I couldn’t get out, forces its way out of me in an explosive hacking sound and then the dam breaks and it’s all rushing forward.
“Why?” I rasp harshly. “Why, why, why the fuck does this keep happening?”
I don’t know what’s going on anymore. I feel cursed, like life is determined to teach me a lesson. But I don’t know what that lesson is. Is it that I’m not supposed to have nice things? Everything is just meant to go wrong? Am I supposed to stop trying?
“I’m sorry.” Micah’s nose rubs in my hair and his arms tighten around me. Right now, it feels like they’re the only thing holding me together. “I’m so sorry.”
He sounds so genuinely sad. Why? It’s not like he gives a damn about my family and it’s not like he cares about me either.
It’s probably just a part of his game, I think, but it doesn’t stop me from clinging to him either, holding him close, using him as an outlet to let out all the emotions and stress of the past few weeks.
And then, finally, as the sobs subside, the tightness in my chest eases, and I’m surprised to find that I feel a little better than I did just minutes ago.
I finally let go of him and make a move to step out of his hold but he takes a few seconds to release me.
I avoid his eyes wiping my face.
“Sorry about that,” I say.
“Don’t apologize.” When I finally risk a glance at his face, it’s to find his expression soft. Not pitying, but gentle. “I didn’t mind at all.”
I nod. “In any case, I’m fine now. I have to go back in there to figure out the hospital bills and everything, but I’m pretty sure Emma’s picking me up when I’m done so don’t feel like you have to stick around.”
“Why?”
I don’t understand the question so I cock my head. “Why what?”
“‘Why is it on you to figure out the hospital bills? Does no one else in your family work?”
My spine immediately straightens, as I get on the defensive.
“Remember how you yelled at me for scolding your grandfather?” I say.
He smirks. “You mean the thing I just apologized for?”
“Yeah, well, I’m not going to apologize for what I say to you if you say anything bad about my folks. They may be trashy and rude, but they’re my trashy and rude, if you know what I mean.”
His expression is admiring, but also holds a tinge of frustration.
“You’re incredible, you know that?”
I’m stunned because I don’t expect him to say that. “I am?”
He nods. Then he takes my hand. “Come with me for a second. I want to show you something.”
“I already told you I can’t. I have to–”
“I’ll take care of the bills.”
I shake my head. “No Micah, I can’t let you–”
“I already did,” he says. “Dropped my card off with Gracie on the way out and told her to charge whatever insurance doesn’t pay for.”
I gape. “No, you didn’t.”
“No, but now I’m going to.” He leans down so we’re nose to nose. “You can’t stop me from taking care of my fake girlfriend.”
That drags a smile onto my face, but I step back. I still don’t trust this sudden kindness. “I don’t want you to pay for it though. And you shouldn’t have told them you were my boyfriend. My family… they’re kind of like vultures. If they feel like you have something to offer them, they’ll take and take and take and pick you clean until there’s nothing left.”
He snorts. “I’d like to see them try. Fortunately, I have a lot of money to blow through.” He reaches out and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “I may not like your parents and I may think that they’re deadweight dragging you down, but for the very fact that you care for them, means I have to care for them too.”
I frown. “Why? Why do you have to?”
He shrugs. “I’m not sure. Believe it or not, I actually don’t know what’s going on here either, or why I came back running to you when it would have probably been better to move on. All I know is that here I am. Because I have to be. Because I missed you more than I’ve ever missed anyone in my life.”
My emotions tremble again, and a breath gets stuck in my throat.
I believe him. Maybe I shouldn’t but I do.
There’s no disguising the honesty in his eyes, the faintly confused but bemused expression as he speaks about something he can’t entirely describe.
But something I can totally relate to as well.
And perhaps that’s the thing that helps to melt away the last of my anger.
“Come with me,” he says. “You’re not doing them any good here and I want to give you a massage.”
I give him a look. “Really?
“Just a massage,” he assures me with a wicked smile. “I got a new massage bed brought to my room at the Marriot and I want you to try it out. I think it would help you with all your stress. Of course, if you want to jump my bones at any point during, I’m not going to push you off.”
“Yeah right.” I roll my eyes at his chuckle and weigh my options.
What to do now.
I could go back into the hospital but I’m not sure that would be the best idea. My mom’s in a mood and seems like she’s itching for a fight. Plus, they’ll all grill me about Micah and I’m not ready for that yet.
Alternatively, I could go home or to the Tiki Bar, but I’m not on shift today and I’ll just sit around and be bored. There’s nothing else for me to do either. Mrs. Peach is out with her friends and Emma is with Declan, and I really don’t want to be alone right now.
Something internally warns me that I’m about to make the wrong choice, but I still sigh and give in. “Fine. But no funny business.”
“Scout’s honor.”
“You were never a boy scout, were you?”
He grins mischievously.
Nevertheless, we return to Micah’s hotel suite and I walk in, admiring the understated elegance of the room. It’s not much compared to the hotel room we got in New York and it’s not even close to Micah’s penthouse. But it’s nice and spacious, with taupe and brown accents, tasteful paintings hung up on the wall, and the faint scent of lavender lingering in the air.
It also has a massage bed smack dab in the living room.
Micah gestures to it with an elaborate flourish.
“Feel free to lay down,” he says. “We can do it clothed, but I’ll tell you that it’s far more effective if you’re nude.”
“Yeah, in your dreams,” I murmur and he laughs again.
I climb onto the massage bed with his assistance, following his directions to lie flat on my back.
He turns a button and then twists a dial and the bed begins vibrating at a low hum, kneading my muscles lightly.
“Mmm.” I moan as it digs into some of the kinks in my back.
“Feel good?”
“Uh huh.” My voice comes out watery and he chuckles. My eyes slide closed as I enjoy the gentle drumming on my back. He turns it up a notch, and the pressure and release grows even more intense. At some point, I feel him lift my hand in his and begin to massage it with strong strokes from the palm out.
It doesn’t take long for the addictive effects to seep in. Suddenly, I’m relaxed and languid more than I’ve ever felt before. I suddenly feel lips brush against my forehead and my eyes open lazily to meet Micah’s darkened gaze.
“I thought you said it was just going to be a massage,” I whisper even as desire thickens my voice.
He notices and grins at me. “I lied.”
Large hands slide up my thighs and I shiver.
Micah keeps the touch light, teasing, but already my body is starting to respond. My pussy begins its familiar pulse. My clit starts to throb. The relaxation is turning into a languorous heat, that slowly climbs the more he touches me.
And then he starts to softly kiss the back of my thighs. His soft lips nip worshipfully on my skin, teasing, and then finally his tongue comes into play.
His finger cups my pussy at the same time. I feel the pressure even over my pants and I squirm.
As his thumb finds my clit, pleasure rockets through my body, forcing a moan out of my mouth.
I can feel his smile as he continues up my thigh with his other hand. He barely holds my waist, and I’m already turning over for him, my whole body aching and far too sensitive for the fabric resting on it. I lift my hip so that he can tug my pants down more easily. I said I wouldn’t do this. I should be ashamed that I’m giving in so easily, but there’ll be time for shame later.
Right now, I want rapture.
At first, I’m scared he’s going to continue the teasing but he doesn’t. As though drawn by invisible hands, his face plunges downward and he presses his nose against my panties, inhaling deeply.
“God…” he hisses like he just had a hit of his favorite drug. “I missed that.”
“I missed you too,” I moan as I slide my fingers into his hair. Maybe I’m not supposed to do that. Maybe I’m supposed to play the submissive role again. But right now, neither of us cares.
I’m too turned on for that it’s been too long.
“Please,” I tell him, both loving and hating that he makes me beg. Luckily, he doesn’t need to be asked twice. His finger hooks on my panties, slide them to the side, and his tongue is suddenly, rudely on my clit.
“Oh God.”
My head falls back, digging into the pillow. My body arches in the air. It’s a fucking star show in my body, all my synapses firing off at the same time. I tremble and sob from the force of the passion driving me, from the sheer magnitude of lust that makes me writhe against his face.
His tongue is everywhere all at once. He doesn’t give me a single reprieve eating like a starved man. A soprano sings in my ear as my mind slowly disintegrates. And then I look down at him…
It makes everything worse.
I’ve never seen anyone eat my pussy with that look on their face before. That look of absolute devotion, sated and hungry at the same time. His eyes are fogged over with bliss before they shut. His nose digs into me along with his lips. As though he needs this more than he needs his next breath.
I need it too.
He cups his hands underneath my ass, driving me closer to his face. I writhe and ride his face with abandon, garbled words escaping me.
“Micah!” Suddenly without warning, I’m coming all over his face, all my reservations in tatters on the floor.