Chapter 2
Jameson
I slam the car door shut after getting in, and Billy snaps his head in my direction. “You good?”
I nod, sinking back into my seat.
Luke catches my eyes in the rearview mirror, and I blink them closed, reminding myself that he isn’t my old man.
They look just like each other.
“You sure?” Billy asks again.
“I’m fine,” I mumble, rolling my shoulders and dropping my bag onto the floor.
Luke looks at the house then back to me with that same face he always gets, the one that makes me feel like my skin is too tight for my body.
We’ve been down this road before, and it’s never gotten me anywhere but worse off.
Still, I hate the pity on his face.
I hate the curl to his lips.
And the tick of his jaw.
But most of all, I hate the guilt in his eyes.
Because none of this is his fault.
He may be my uncle, but there’s nothing he can do.
I lean down, unzipping my bag, and feel the car jerk forward. “Do you have the …?” I start before hearing a paper being waved in front of my face. I grab it, seeing Billy’s finished algebra homework. “Thanks,” I tell him, smoothing out my own balled-up paper.
I spend the rest of the car ride scribbling down his answers, listening to him and Luke talk, trying not to hate myself for how jealous I feel at the ease of their conversation.
We pull up in front of the school, and Luke slows to a stop. Billy holds out his hand, and I give him his homework, just as his attention catches on a blonde girl walking by. He basically throws himself out of the car to catch up with her.
Luke lets out a shallow laugh. “This one’s new.”
I hum back a non-response because we both know he’ll likely be on to someone else by next week.
After shoving my paper back into my bag, I reach for the door handle just as Luke says, “Jameson.”
“Yeah,” I mutter, glancing over at him. He gives me that fucking look again, and I instantly turn back to the door.
He waits for a minute, and I give it to him before finally he says, “Have a good day.”
His words hit me harder than words as simple as that should, and I tuck them away into that place inside myself.
“You, too,” I answer before pushing the door open and stepping out of the car.
I walk past Billy, and he trails after me with what’s-her-name tucked under his arm. Kids move out of the way, stepping to the side when they see us coming.
I don’t know when people started reacting to me like this, though it’s not much of a surprise. I have a short temper and a last name that a lot of people know stories about.
Me and Billy get a lot of cling-ons—people who like the idea of us.
Who want to play pretend or try us on. Like what’s-her-name, who’s now giggling in that obnoxious way girls do.
The kind where you know that’s not really their laugh and they don’t think what you just said was all that funny.
But Billy just soaks it in. He always does.
I don’t even think he cares that it’s fake.
“I tried calling you this weekend,” she says, looking up at him.
Before he can answer, I tip my chin, letting him know I’m out. I’ve heard this back and forth before and don’t feel like listening to it again.
He nods in response then quickly turns his attention back to the blonde.
Breaking away from them, I push up the sleeves of my flannel and pull my sunglasses out of the front pocket. I throw them on as I make my way over to the wall. It’s out by the side of the school, an old storage shed that they half tore down. It’s sort of become our place.
Mason yells out to me as he sees me walking up, kicking his feet back and forth as they dangle over the cement. A few other heads look in my direction, faces that I guess I’d call friends.
Other than Billy, there’s nobody I really like to spend time with. I hang around ’cause it’s what you do, and it’s better than being at home, but I could take it or leave it.
I’ve known Mason forever. He lives on the street behind mine. He’s pretty chill, but he’s kind of a leech—always wants something from you.
“We’re all going to the park after school. You wanna come?”
“Can’t,” I answer.
He jumps down from the wall, landing in front of me. “Why not?”
“I’ve got stuff to do.”
His eyes light up like he’s in on a secret, as if everyone doesn’t already know. “What about after?”
“Don’t think so,” I say, my voice harder this time.
He kicks the rocks at his feet, and I know what’s coming.
“We were just hoping you might bring some weed.”
And there it is.
I roll my neck. “You got money?”
“Oh, come on, man; we’re friends,” he says, throwing his hands out in front of him.
“The shit’s not free.”
“But, I mean, we just heard—”
The glare on my face has him swallowing the end of the sentence.
His eyes drift over my head, and I follow them, finding Billy coming up behind me.
“Hey,” he says with that easy smirk he always has plastered on his face.
He must have ditched the blonde.
Mason’s shoulders relax as he turns his efforts toward Billy. “Been seeing you around with Madison Sanders. She’s hot, man.” When Billy doesn’t answer, he keeps going. “We’re all going to the park tonight. You should come. Ask Madison if she wants to come, too.”
Billy turns to me, and the look I give him lets him know I’m not going.
“Maybe,” he answers.
“Cool, cool.” Mason nods just as Dylan jumps down next to him.
Out of everyone, Dylan’s probably who I get along with the best. He doesn’t talk much, and when he does, it isn’t annoying.
“I finally got the garage cleaned out,” he tells Billy, “so we can start using it after school.”
“Hell yeah,” Billy shoots back.
They’ve been wanting to get a band together for months.
“I talked to Rowan, he’s in.” Dylan tips his head toward Mason, “He’s in, too, so I think we’re good.” Glancing over at me, he asks, “Sure you don’t wanna join?”
“Yeah, no, thanks. I can’t play anything for shit.”
His lips twitch, trying to keep a straight face. “We could put you on triangle. Something easy like that.”
Billy bursts out laughing. “Imagine him holding a triangle and hitting it with the little stick, looking like he wants to murder the thing.”
I shove his arm. “Fuck off.”
“Aw … don’t worry; you can come watch us practice.” Billy grins. “Be our groupie.”
I take a step toward him. “You want me to beat your ass?”
“Oh, like you could,” he answers as everyone’s eyes ping pong between us.
I raise an eyebrow, and he stares back at me, squaring up and bouncing on his feet. He throws an uppercut, making a swooshing noise, and says, “Come and get me.”
Licking back a smile, I shake my head. “You’re such an idiot.”
He barrels toward me, throwing his arm around my neck and ruffling my hair. “You love me.”
If anyone else did that to me, they’d be flat on their back right now, with my fist in their face. But he’s right; I do love him, and he’s the only one who gets away with messing with me like this.
We grew up more like brothers than cousins, since we’re so close in age. I’m only two months older, so we’ve been in the same grade all through school. We even had the same kindergarten class.
I push him off me as he looks toward the school.
“Gotta get to class,” he says. “We have that lab today.”
I have science first period, and the only good thing about the class is that Billy has it, too. Although, it doesn’t really matter since he isn’t my lab partner anymore.
The teacher gave us assigned seats at the beginning of the year, putting us all in alphabetical order, meaning me and Billy were paired up next to each other.
We were partners for the first few weeks until we got a little carried away with the Bunsen burner and were moved to opposite sides of the room.
Now, I’m paired with a girl who’s a bit of a goody-goody.
She’s all right, but I catch her watching me a lot.
I don’t know if it’s ’cause she’s scared or she has a crush.
Either way, it’s been working out fine for me since she makes it real easy to copy off her tests, and she does most of the work on the labs.
After walking into the classroom, I slide into my chair, letting my head come down to rest against my arm while I wait for the rest of the kids to show up.
A few minutes later, I hear shuffling next to me and squint my eyes open to see the girl settle in beside me. She flashes a small smile, and I let my eyes close again.
I stiffen when I feel a hand tap my arm before I bolt upright and snatch it, blinking the room into focus. Realizing it’s just my lab partner, I drop her wrist, blowing out a breath.
“S-sorry,” the girl stutters. “You fell asleep, and I didn’t want Mrs. Campbell to give you another detention.”
I try to soften my face and nod. “Thanks.”
She quickly turns back to the worksheet in front of her then slides it over to me. “I’m on step three.”
The rest of the class drags by as we work through the lab. By the time the bell rings, I’m already ready for this day to be over.
I manage to make it to my last class without falling asleep again, but the teacher could be speaking another language for all I know.
I haven’t heard one thing that’s come out of his mouth since I sat down here an hour ago.
My body is all locked up, thinking about going to the garage this afternoon.
What’s he gonna have for me today?
“What about you, Jameson?”
“Huh?”
Mr. Roberts purses his lips. “What did you think the ending of the book symbolized?”
I look up at the copy of Lord of the Flies in his hand. “I don’t—”
“Did you finish the book?” he interrupts.
When I don’t answer, he lets out a sigh. “How far did you get?”
I haven’t even opened the thing.
He watches me like I’m not worth the effort, and after a minute of waiting for me to respond, he moves on to someone else.
The final bell cuts off their answer, and I move to slip out of the room as Mr. Roberts says something about a test next week.
He calls out to me that he isn’t finished yet, but I ignore him.
I can’t be late.