Chapter 31
Jameson
Heavy rain bounces off my windshield as I idle in front of the school, waiting for Sam and Billy.
It’s been a few weeks since I dropped out, and if I’m not working, I always drive Sam in the morning and pick her up in the afternoon. Normally, Billy takes his motorcycle, but I offered to drop him off at the garage so he could avoid the rain.
Things have been a bit easier now that I don’t have to worry about school. But, in a way, I’ve just traded one issue for another.
I’m still working all the construction jobs I can get, but not nearly enough have been coming my way. I’ve also kept up with my training, taking fights whenever Ryan calls. But the bills have been stacking up. It’s not enough. Not when my mother is a shell of herself and leaves it all to me.
So, I’ve filled in the gaps the only way I know how—working with Marcus again.
He’s my connection to the distributor, but he keeps trying to reel me into other jobs.
I always say no.
Between that, the money I make fighting, and any construction jobs I can pull, we’re getting by.
I’ve gotten my mother to leave her room a bit more, and she seems to be starting to slowly come back to herself. Although, I don’t think she knows exactly who she is now that she doesn’t have my old man telling her who to be.
Things with Sam have been better, too. After that night in my car, any remaining distance between us is gone.
I ended up climbing in through her bedroom window and didn’t leave until morning.
I didn’t know you could feel for another person the things I feel for her.
Love someone the way I love her. And the fact that she loves me back …
despite everything, it’s the only thing saving me right now. The only thing getting me through.
The passenger door opens, snapping me out of my thoughts. I turn as Billy climbs into the back seat, Sam sliding in after him.
Her hair is even darker than usual, weighed down and wet. Black streaks run down her face, and I move to wipe it clean, my eyes following the dripping water that drops from her chin.
“What?” she asks, looking up at me through her wet lashes.
I lower my hand. “Nothing.”
“You’re looking at me weird.”
“Just missed you today,” I say quietly.
She smiles. “Missed you, too.”
“Can you swing by my house?” Billy asks, oblivious to the moment we’re having. “I wanna change before going over to the garage.”
“Sure,” I answer, shrugging off my flannel and handing it to Sam. I wait until she slides it on before pulling away from the curb.
Reaching into her bag, she grabs a cigarette and cracks the window. After she takes a drag, I hold out my hand, and she passes it to me. I bring it to my lips, inhaling, before I pass it back.
“How’d that presentation go?”
She shrugs. “Good, I think.” Leaning forward, she changes the radio station. “Everything go all right today?”
“Fine,” I respond. “Ryan called.”
She drops back in her seat.
I know she doesn’t like it when I fight, but she only asks, “What time?”
“Nine.”
“That early?”
“I just go when he tells me.”
She turns to Billy. “You’ll be working?”
“Yeah,” he answers. “Gonna be late.”
Sometimes, she’ll go to my fights to watch, but only if Billy goes with her. I can’t focus when nobody’s looking out for her.
I glance back at him in the rearview mirror. His body is hunched, his expression hard.
“What’s up with you?” I ask. “You’ve barely said anything.”
“Just shit at home,” he mutters.
Ever since everything with my old man, stuff has been tense with his parents. It was rough before, but it’s only gotten worse.
My father used to pay half the rent on the garage, maybe even more than half.
After he died, Luke became the sole owner, and without my father’s money, he had to let two other mechanics go.
He’s at the shop seven days a week, trying to keep up.
Then Billy quit the band and started helping out as much as Luke will let him.
They’re keeping it afloat, but just barely.
I tried to step in, but Luke wasn’t having it. He said he should be the one helping me. He wasn’t happy when I told him I was dropping out and even more unhappy when he found out I was working with Marcus again, but there’s really nothing he can do.
I think that’s what upsets him the most—that he has nothing left to give. He’s still there for me, the closest thing to a real parent I’ve ever had, but he can’t bail me out of a life he’s trapped in, too.
Instead of supporting her husband, who’s stretching himself thinner than anyone should, Billy’s mother has only become more resentful. I’ve heard her say things around Billy, to Billy, that nobody should ever have to hear.
I don’t understand what Luke sees in her. She’s clearly not happy with her life. I mean, she’s so careless about the fact that she’s cheating on him that it’s like she wants to get caught.
Luke must know. He has to.
Pulling up in front of Billy’s house, I turn to face him. “It’s not any better?”
“Worse.”
“Fuck, man.” I shake my head. “I’m sorry.”
“It is what it is,” he answers, tapping Sam’s seat. She moves, dropping it down so Billy can climb out.
He runs inside, emerging a few minutes later in new clothes and an umbrella in hand.
It’s a quick drive to the garage, the car quiet without Billy’s incessant chatter. After dropping him off, I start for Sam’s house.
“We still going to the movies?” I ask.
We planned on a whole day tomorrow, bouncing between theaters. It’s the first Saturday we’ve both had off in I can’t remember how long.
“Course.” She nods. “You sure Billy can’t come, too?” she questions. “Maybe we should ask again or talk to Luke. He’s not …” She hesitates. “I think he could use a break.”
I drop my hand to her knee. “I’ll ask.”
“I hate seeing him like this,” she says quietly.
I trace slow circles against her skin. “Me, too.”
“You think his parents will split up?”
“Don’t know. They haven’t yet, so …”
I pull into her driveway, and she moves to take off my flannel.
I hold out a hand. “Keep it.”
She smiles, and I lean forward, tracing her bottom lip with my thumb.
“Come over after the fight,” she breathes.
I lower my hand, tilting her head back and bringing my lips to hers, dragging her bottom lip between my teeth. “It might be late.”
“Doesn’t matter,” she murmurs. “I’ll be up.”
I shift in my seat, clearing my throat. She smiles at me again, but this time it’s fucking devious.
“I’m obsessed with you,” I tell her without thought.
She laughs, and it only makes me want her more. “I know,” she says then slides out of the car.