Chapter 33
Jameson
I close the distance between us, crouching down in front of Sam. She looks so fucking small, her body curled in on itself.
“Jamie?”
Reaching out, I take her hand. “Yeah, baby,” I murmur, trying to keep the worry from my voice. “I’m here. You’re all right.”
When my fight ended, I had a missed call from Sam. I tried to call her back, but she didn’t answer. I tried a second time, but still nothing.
I was on my way to her house when Ben called. Right when I heard his voice, I knew something was wrong.
After he told me about Sam, I sped over here, barely knowing the details. All I knew was that she was drunk. He told me he hadn’t known who she was, didn’t know she had so much to drink, and that he wouldn’t have shared a joint with her if he had.
When I stormed through the back door, his eyes widened, but I didn’t give a shit about him. Not now, anyway.
All I care about is the girl who’s staring back at me. The girl I love who’s watching me like I’ll somehow save her.
I wish I fucking could.
“Jamie,” she murmurs again. “What happened? How’d you get here?”
“Shh,” I hush her. “Let’s just get you home, okay?”
“No.” She shakes her head. “No, I can’t.”
“Why not? What happened?”
“The ring,” she mutters. “And the room.”
“What room?”
“It was too small. I couldn’t breathe again.” She reaches for me. “Please don’t … Please don’t make me go back there.”
I lean forward, brushing away the hair that’s fallen into her face, “I won’t. I’ll take you to my house.”
She doesn’t say anything, but she doesn’t argue either.
“Can you stand up for me?”
I help steady her as she struggles to her feet then wrap an arm around her.
“Don’t let me go,” she mumbles.
“I won’t let you go, baby. Just hold onto me, okay?”
She wraps her arm around my waist as I pull her into me.
Before we start for the car, I turn to Ben. “Thanks for calling.”
He nods. “No, yeah, of course. And again, I didn’t mean—”
“It’s all good,” I say, silencing him.
I shift my attention to Sam. “You ready?”
“Mmhmm.”
Slowly, I start for the side of the deck, figuring it’ll be easier to lead her around the house rather than making our way through the crowd inside
But when we get to the stairs, she stumbles. “I don’t know where my feet are supposed to go anymore.”
“I’ve got you,” I tell her, scooping her up into my arms. She buries her face into my chest as I carry her toward the car.
We’re almost to the front of the lawn when she smacks my arm. “Put me down. I’m gonna—”
I lower her to her feet right before she hunches over and pukes. I grab her hair, pulling it away from her face as she heaves again and again.
She straightens and groans when she notices the mess she’s made of her jacket and shirt. Dropping her eyes, she whispers, “I’m so sorry I … This is so—”
“Stop,” I say softly. “You’re fine.”
I start leading her back to the car, and she shrinks as she realizes people are staring.
Turning, I shoot them a look that has them suddenly minding their own fucking business then wrap my arm around her and walk the rest of the way to my car.
Opening the passenger door, I position her so the door is covering one side of her body and I’m covering the other.
I quickly glance around to make sure nobody can see us then strip off her ruined jacket and shirt.
After balling them up, I toss them into the back seat and pull my gray hoodie over my head before sliding it over hers.
“All better,” I say, looking her over.
She peers up at me, and I step forward, pulling her into my arms. Gently, I settle her into the passenger seat and buckle her in. Then I round the car, dropping into my seat.
“You sure you’re good to come to my house?”
“Locked my bedroom door,” she answers. So nobody will know she was gone if I have her back by morning. Good. At least there’s that.
I nod, starting up the car. I want to ask what happened, but then I look over at her and any questions fade from my mind.
She’s slumped in her seat, her knees pulled up to her chest, her eyes fixed on the window, staring at something that isn’t there.
I pull away from the curb and save my questions for later, knowing that, right now, she just needs someone to take care of her.
I push the front door open, Sam balanced in my arms. Tucking her body into mine with one hand, I use the other to switch on a light. She curls into me, pressing her face into my chest.
Moving down the hall, I glance into my mother’s room and see that she’s asleep. Quietly, I shut the door then continue down the hall until we’ve reached my room. There, I shoulder the door open and set Sam down on my bed.
Hovering over her, I wait for her to look up at me, but her eyes stay trained on the floor. She has her arms wrapped around her middle, her shoulders curled forward.
I start to lower myself in front of her when she blurts out, “Jamie, I’m gonna—”
She lunges from the bed, stumbling forward.
I shoot up, wrapping my arm around her and rush us to the bathroom across the hall. She drops to her knees in front of the toilet and heaves.
Leaning forward, I gather her hair and pull it back, rubbing slow circles on her back with my other hand. “That’s it,” I breathe. “You’re okay. Just get it all out.”
We stay like this until she drops onto her heels and scooches away from me.
“You should go,” she says, attempting to cover herself. “I don’t want you to see me like this. I’ll just—”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
She lets out a breath, still failing to meet my eyes. “I’m disgusting.”
“You’re beautiful.”
“I’m covered in puke. You just watched me throw up all over myself. I’m … This is … I’m a mess.”
“So let me help you get cleaned up.”
She shakes her head, muttering more to herself than me, “I’m a mess on the inside. You can’t just wipe that away and make it better.”
I inch forward. “I can try.”
Finally, she looks up at me. “Why?”
“Because I love you.”
She fidgets, pulling at the sleeves of my hoodie she’s swimming in. “Still?”
“Always.”
A tear falls down her face, and I move to brush it away.
“Jamie?”
“What, baby?”
Another tear falls. “I don’t know how to stop being sad.”
I try to keep my face neutral as my heart fucking breaks.
Before I can say anything, she mumbles, “Can I get clean now?”
I clear my throat. “Yeah, let me help you.” Moving forward slowly, I give her time to tell me to stop or pull away, but her arms drop from her body, the wall between us falling.
After closing the lid to the toilet, I pull her up and settle her into a seated position. Grabbing the bottom of the hoodie, I say, “Lift your arms for me.”
I strip the hoodie off and turn, finding a washcloth and wetting it with warm water.
Crouching in front of her, I gently drag the cloth over her face and chest. I check her hair, but it’s clean, so I turn to look for a toothbrush.
I find a spare under the sink and hold it out to her. “Do you wanna try to brush your teeth?”
She nods, moving to stand.
I help her over to the sink and squeeze some toothpaste onto the brush before handing it to her. She brushes clumsily, and I hold her hair back again as she spits.
Once she’s done, I lead her to my bedroom and walk her over to the bed. She sits on the edge as I go to my dresser and pull out a T-shirt.
She takes it, and I kneel, unlacing her Converse. “There,” I breathe, looking up at her.
Her eyes are dazed as she peers down at me. “I love you,” she whispers.
I stand, pulling back the blankets, and motion for her to lay down. She shuffles under the covers, and I lean in, tucking them around her, then kiss the top of her forehead. “Love you, too, baby.”