13. Logan
It had beena whole month since Jaxon and I started dating—a whole thirty days of keeping the biggest secret from him. And every day, the guilt ate away at another piece of me.
“I don’t know why you haven’t told him already. You know he’s the sweetest man on the planet, and he’s had your back from the first moment you met.” Scarlett and I were at a dress shop, where we were struggling to find something that concealed my bump and matched the navy color scheme.
“You know why. What do you think about this one?” I held up the only reasonable option, and she scrunched her nose.
“Do you want to look like a whale?” Rolling my eyes, I put the dress back on the rack. “How do you get out of sex?” I shrugged.
“He hasn’t asked.” She paused.
“You must be joking. That hot, extremely sexy, baseball-playing cowboy with the most perfect ass I’ve ever seen hasn’t asked or even attempted to have sex with you in a whole month?” I nodded and held up another dress for her, which she shook her head at.
“I think he’s been waiting to introduce me to his family.” Which I was insanely nervous about. Richard never introduced me to his family, and I never thought anything of it, but now that someone wanted me to meet their family, I was basically one breath away from an anxiety attack.
“That’s good and bad news. Do you have to wear navy? Look at this black one.” I shook my head.
“You can’t wear black to a wedding. That’s bad luck.” She scoffed and rolled her eyes.
“That’s bullshit. Plenty of people wore black to mine, and look at me and Matt. I think we should head to a maternity shop. We aren’t going to find anything here.” I knew she was right, but maternity clothes always put emphasis on the bump, and I didn’t want him to find out this weekend.
“Maybe I should wear a pantsuit instead. I mean, I’m only five months. I can still hide it, right?” I glanced at a mirror, where I could see my small bump protruding.
“Why are you trying to hide your perfect little baby, Logan? I wish I had one. I’d walk around topless so everyone could see.” Surprising coming from the woman who didn’t like kids. If I was in her boat, I’d probably be doing the same thing, but I wasn’t, and she would never understand. She was married. I was not.
“How far is the maternity store? He’s going to pick me up in two hours.” She pulled it up on the GPS on her phone, and we quickly got in her car and arrived at the nearest one.
“I can’t believe you waited until the last minute to get a dress. You are totally crazy. Also, I can’t believe he invited you to a wedding the same day he decided he wanted to date you. He’s crazy about you. You’re basically made for each other,” Scarlett gushed as she held open the door for me. A bell went off, announcing our arrival into the small boutique.
An hour later, we found a navy dress with long sleeves that didn’t emphasis my belly. If anything, it hid it. We then rushed home and threw everything I might need into the suitcase for the weekend trip. She threw in some sexy lingerie just in case, which made me roll my eyes, and then, we waited for Jaxon.
“You do know I won’t be using that. Not even in the slightest,” I told her, but she just grinned.
“Maybe that’s how you should tell him. I really don’t think he’ll be mad. Shocked, yes, but never mad.” Matt walked into the kitchen and threw his wife the side eye.
“Don’t push her, Scar. If she doesn’t want to tell him until the day she delivers, then so be it.”
“I swear, you are the biggest buzzkill,” Scarlett whined but walked around the kitchen counter to give him a kiss. “Good thing I love you so much.”
“I love you more.” He kissed the top of her head and wrapped his arm around her. He was always trying to keep her in place, out of kindness and love, because he had seen her burned before from giving advice. He had been witness to the fights between her sisters and her mother—even her and me.
He was the peacekeeper.
A knock sounded at the door a minute later, and Scarlett lit up, like it was her boyfriend and not mine. “Have fun. Do everything I would do.” She hugged me tightly and then whispered something to my belly. Once she left with Matt to give me some privacy, I swung open the door and smiled at the breathtaking, handsome man waiting on the other side.
“You are a sight for sore eyes.” He cracked a lopsided grin, and my heart skipped a beat at the lame line.
“It’s only been one day,” I whispered, closing the distance between us. Leaning up on my toes, I pressed a quick, soft kiss to his stubble. He’d been growing a beard for the last two weeks, and I loved everything about it.
“Doesn’t matter. I can’t get enough of you, sweetheart.” He reached behind me for my suitcase and brushed his lips against mine, stealing my breath away.
How after a month of kissing him, he could still make my heart race and my lungs struggle for air was beyond me.
“Come on. Get in the truck. We’ve got to get there for the rehearsal dinner. My damn sister-in-law, Kenna, is being real annoyin’ about this whole weekend.” He’d already explained his entire family tree, from his three older brothers to their wives and children. He showed me pictures, so I wouldn’t look like a fool. I was ready to be part of a family again, even if it wasn’t really mine.
An hour into the drive, he was whistling along to Luke Combs, an artist I noticed he listened to a lot. “Where are your parents?” I had been wondering when he was going to ask. I didn’t like to advertise the information, and I didn’t like the pitying looks that followed.
“They both died.” He jerked his head in my direction, the car swerving into the other lane for a brief moment.
“Baby, why didn’t you tell me sooner?” I fingered the chain around my neck I always wore while I searched for the right answer.
“I wanted you to think I was perfect—with the family and everything. I just get tired of everyone looking at me like I’m broken because of it.” He reached for me, his fingers latching onto my bouncing knee, his warmth sinking through the thick fabric of my jeans.
“With or without parents, you’re pretty damn perfect to me, sweetheart.” I waited for him to ask how they passed, just like everyone else, but after two songs played, I decided to volunteer the information for once.
“My dad died from a complication with surgery. It was a freak accident, and it happened when I was in middle school. And my mom…” My voice shook. Her death had rattled me to the bone. “She was diagnosed with breast cancer when I was very young, and eventually, it spread everywhere. The chemo was only hurting her. A few weeks after my 18th birthday, she told me she couldn’t hold on any longer.” His grip tightened, and the tears I’d fought every time I told someone slowly rolled down my cheeks.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry you had to go through that so young. I wish I could have been there.” His words struck a chord. No one had ever said that. They always offered condolences but never wished to be there.
Scarlett had been there. She had held me up at the funeral, wiped away every tear, and forced me to live again when all I wanted to do was to die. She was more my sister than my best friend.
“Sometimes, we get dealt a rough hand in life, but then, we all have two hands.” I wasn’t following him. I knew he meant well, but I was clueless.
“Jax, I don’t understand.” He linked his fingers through mine.
“I’m offering you the other hand, sweetheart. I can’t promise it’ll always be perfect, but I can promise I ain’t goin’ anywhere. I don’t think I could ever leave you.”
Was it possible to fall in love in such a short amount of time? Yes. It most certainly was.
And I was going to ruin everything with this secret.
* * *
Driving into his hometown,I noticed the streets were lined with Magnolia trees, and I finally understood the name. It was like stepping into a time capsule as we drove through downtown, where I watched people greet one another. I saw the historic buildings and wondered what it must have been like growing up here.
“Why did you leave?” I asked, almost pressing my nose to the glass of his window in pure excitement.
“Couldn’t play ball here. All my brothers left chasin’ big dreams, and somehow, they’ve all ended up back where they started.” He turned the truck onto a dirt road, and I saw his family’s name on a large sign.
“Do you plan on doing the same?” I found the courage to ask.
“Depends, I guess.” I caught his shrug out of the corner of my eye. “You told me once you like lists. What was your plan?”
“Find love. Get married. Buy a house, preferably on the water, with lots of land for all the kids and dogs I want. Rescue a dog. Fall pregnant with the man of my dreams. And raise a beautiful family.” I recited the list I had memorized a long time ago.
“In that order?” he questioned, driving past a big house, his tires crunching under the gravel.
“Exactly like that.”
“And when did you make that list?”
“After my mom died. I didn’t want to live anymore either, so Scarlett showed me by making lists every day that there was a life worth living, and then, I made my ten-year plan. By now, I was supposed to have two kids, a dog, and a husband. I was supposed to have it all.” He stopped in front of a tiny log cabin.
“You can keep your list, but who says it has to be in that order?” Shifting the truck into park, he shut it off and turned his attention to me.
“Me, of course.” He shook his head with a chuckle.
“I can help you check some of those things off your list,” he said, opening his door and hopping out. I waited for him to get to my door to open it, something I learned he loved to do.
While he rounded the hood, I studied him, trying to figure him out. Here, he was no longer the city boy I’d come to love. And what the hell did he mean he could help me check some of the things off my list?
“Humor me. How are you going to check off things on my list?” I wanted to tell him he had already done that, but I feared now wasn’t the right time, not when things were so perfect between us.
“I could make you fall in love with me.” My heart stopped, and I stumbled into him as he led me into the cabin, twisting open the knob on the bright red front door.
“Jaxon,” I whispered his name, unable to focus on anything other than him.
“Tell me you aren’t already fallin’, sweetheart.” He pressed me against the front door, cradling my face in his large, calloused hands.
“I can’t do that,” I whispered.
“Then, it’s quite simple. I’ll be the man to check everythin’ off that list, one by one.”
I can’t breathe.
And for the first time, I wasn’t having an anxiety attack. Jaxon Dexter had officially stolen my breath away.
“I’ve been waitin’ a long time to bring you here,” he said, pulling me off the door to show me the small, cozy cabin.
“What do you mean?”
“Each of my brothers brought their girls here, and this is where they fell in love. Now, it’s my turn, and you’re the woman I want.” My eyes scanned the small space, the lounge set in front of a flat-screen, the open layout kitchen, a tiny table for two, and then one door that led to another room.
“There’s only one room,” I said, turning back to him.
“It’s not like we haven’t shared a bed before, sweetheart.”
I am screwed.
There’s no way I can hide the baby from him while sharing a bed.