15. Logan
Jaxon’s familywas everything I had expected and more. His sisters-in-law were sweet, all three of them. His brothers were just as kind, and his parents were downright perfect.
It was everything I didn’t have, and everything I could have hoped for our baby.
“We are dyin’ to know how you two met,” Carter, the bride-to-be, said, sipping on a sparkling flute of champagne.
Hesitating, I looked into the eyes of each woman, and somehow, I just knew that they wouldn’t judge me. They all adored Jaxon and only wanted the best for him, which was what I wanted for him, too.
“At a bar, actually.” I looked away from their curious gazes to watch Jaxon with his brothers, his head thrown back with laughter.
The dinner had ended an hour ago. All the other guests had left, and we’d moved into Kenna and Archer’s large home. We’d taken over their cozy lounge, while the kids slept upstairs and the men sat in the kitchen.
“I totally see where this is going.” Brooklyn grinned, holding her sleeping baby in her arms. “He was all handsome and dazzling with that grin of his, and you ended up in his bed, right?”
Kenna laughed, and Carter blushed with a giggle.
“Well, kinda, yeah.” Their laughter was infectious, and soon, the men were leaning over the back of the sofa to pry the information out of their wives.
“You’re tellin’ me you met this beautiful woman, who’s willin’ to put up with you, in a bar?” Dante shook his head, plopping down on the sofa next to his wife. Brooklyn immediately sank into his chest and adjusted their sleeping baby in her arms.
“Hard to believe, I know, but she needed me.” Jax shrugged, coming to sit beside me. “I was the perfect distraction from her ex.” He winked, and the woman all rolled their eyes.
“How on Earth do you put up with his ego?” Carter whispered loud enough for him to hear. “I can barely handle Gage’s.”
Kenna and Brooklyn joined in, agreeing that their husbands had bigger-than-average egos, and in that moment, we become lifelong friends.
“Alright, not to end our fun, but last time I checked, there is a weddin’ tomorrow, and I need some sleep.” Brooklyn waited for Dante to stand and then handed over a still-sleeping Sawyer.
“You can leave, Ali. I’m sure she and Dougie are fast asleep.” Kenna stood with a yawn and hugged Brooke.
“So, we’ll all be back here in…” Gage squinted at his watch, and then, his eyes widened, “Am I seein’ this right?”
“Yeah, man. It’s two A.M. Blame the women for the lack of sleep.” Archer slapped his younger brother on the back and then wrapped his arms around Kenna, pulling her to his chest and resting his chin on her shoulder.
We all quickly said our goodbyes and then exited the beautiful home.
Jax took my hand and led us to his truck, where we made the short trip home. Then, I was faced with the hardest part of the night.
“You can take the bathroom first; I’ll get the fire goin’. How about some hot chocolate?” Jax stood awkwardly in the kitchen, his hand scratching his neck as his eyes skimmed over me.
My mouth went dry from the desire pooling in his heated gaze. I wanted him. I needed him to rip my clothes off right here, right now.
“Sweetheart?” Jax’s husky voice snapped me out of my fantasy, and I shook my head, my cheeks flushing as I took a step back.
“Are you sure?” He nodded, crossing his arms over his chest. “And I’d love a hot chocolate.” A lopsided grin tugged at his beautiful face, and I was frozen in the moment, wishing it would never end.
The bathroom was just as cozy as the rest of the house, and I fell in love with the waterfall shower head when it eases every knot of tension from my body.
I spent the ten-minute shower convincing myself to tell Jaxon before I got in that bed, but I was afraid to lose what we had.
Even though it was all built on a lie, I didn’t want it to ever end.
I wanted him to look at me like I was his purpose for the rest of my life. I wanted to be loved by him, and I wanted our child to be loved by him.
I stared at my reflection in the mirror, the small bump where our baby was growing, my swollen breasts, electric eyes, and flushed cheeks. I have to do this.
Throwing on the least sexy pair of pajamas I owned, I put my big robe on over it, hoping to conceal the baby until he had showered.
Brushing my wet hair, I exited the bathroom, my entire body shaking with nerves when I saw him sitting on the bed, looking more irresistible than that night we shared together.
“What’s wrong?” His deep voice pulled me out of visions from that night, the way his big hands felt on my skin, how his voice sounded while he whispered in my ear.
“Nothing. Your turn, cowboy.” He grinned, and the butterflies that were already going crazy in my stomach intensified.
I was just about to sit on the floor and dry my hair when he stopped and suddenly caged me in against the wall. The muscles in his biceps and forearms held me hostage as his nose skimmed along my jaw. I forgot to breathe when the tip of his tongue tasted my skin.
He kissed along my jaw and then nibbled on my earlobe. My breaths came out in uneven pants, and I used every ounce of strength to keep standing.
“Jax,” I moaned, dropping the hair dryer and sinking one hand into his hair and the other into his shirt to pull him closer.
He pulled away slowly, his eyes dark, his lips pink, and his hair in disarray from my fingers. The breath was sucked straight from my lungs at the sight of him.
“Get into bed, sweetheart. I won’t be long.” He stepped into the bathroom and then paused. “No fallin’ asleep now. I’m not finished with you yet.” I nodded because I couldn’t remember how to speak.
I used the little strength I had left to dry my hair and then take my vitamins before bed. I saw the hot chocolate on the bedside table and sipped the hot drink while I waited in bed, just like he asked me to.
When he finally exited the bathroom after a long ten minutes, I was a mess. I couldn’t remember the words I had rehearsed in the shower, and I certainly couldn’t think straight when he walked out shirtless, steam billowing out behind him.
“I almost expected to find you on the couch,” he joked, throwing his dirty clothes into his suitcase and then plugging his phone into the charger next to his side of the bed. I gulped, searching for the right answer. But I couldn’t seem to find it in time because he flipped the lights, bathing us in darkness except for a sliver of moonlight that filtered in from a gap in the curtain.
He slid into the bed, and when the mattress dipped, I fought the urge to throw myself at him. “What’s got you so stiff?” His voice was even sexier in the darkness. How was that possible?
“I—I have to tell you something, Jax.” He closed the space between us and crawls over me. I press my back flat to the mattress, hoping he didn’t feel the baby.
“Can it wait? I have a lot of missed time to make up with you.” He softly kissed my jaw and then the corner of my lips.
What am I going to tell him again?
My fingers threaded into his short hair, tugging him closer. I didn’t want this to end.
“I’m pregnant.” And he stilled, his body tensing above mine.
“What do you mean?” He started to sit up, and my fingers lost their grip and fell to my stomach. In the darkness, I couldn’t see his reaction, but he had pulled away from me, which was a bad sign. Dread curled in my gut.
It was all over.
“It’s yours. It’s why I came to find you, but I’ve been too scared to tell you. Please don’t hate me or the baby. Please, Jax.” Tears were rolling down my cheeks faster than I could spit the story out. My chest was rising and falling too fast, and suddenly, it became hard to breathe.
“Breathe, Logan. Breathe, sweetheart.” His hands cupped my face, his body pressing into mine while I fought the panic attack.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry,” I blubbered, but he placed a finger on my wet lips.
“Stop apologizing,” he whispered, wiping away my warm tears as they rolled down my cheeks. “Are you sure it’s mine?”
“You’re the only person I’ve slept with this year,” I whispered in the thick silence.
“Fuck. Okay, it’s definitely mine. You’re pregnant with my baby.”
Using one of the counting techniques I had learned to cope with the anxiety attacks, I slowly got my breathing under control while Jax tried to gather his thoughts.
“I’ll take the couch so you can process this.” I started to sit up, but his hand around my face lowered to my hips, pressing me into the bed.
“You aren’t goin’ anywhere, Logan.” I was between his strong legs, his warm hands pressing into my skin, and I didn’t want to be anywhere else. “You must be…” he goes quiet, trying to do math.
“Five months,” I whispered, and his hold tightened.
“You waited that long to tell me? Did you think I was a monster you couldn’t come to?” Pain laced every word, and I shook my head, my hands rising to cup his face.
“I found out a few days before I came to you. You aren’t a monster, Jax. You are so far from it. I got to know you, and then, I fell for you. And the thought of you pushing me away after falling for you was—is—unbearable, but I can’t hide this from you.” His hands left my hips and came to rest on my stomach.
There was a tiny flutter when the baby kicked, and I cried. They knew daddy was here. “Why are you cryin’? I’m not pushin’ you away. I can’t lose you either.” His confession made the tears come quicker.
“Can you feel that?” I moved his hand right where the baby was kicking, and he stilled.
“Is that…”
“I know it’s a lot, Jax. I know you weren’t ready for a relationship or to settle down, so I understand if—” Jaxon closed the space between us, pressing his lips to mine.
“I thought I wasn’t ready, Logan, but I was ready for you the moment you came into my life. So, you better not be comin’ up with some shared custody plan. I want all of it with you. I just wish it had happened differently.”
“Different how?”
“I wish I could have helped you with that checklist. But don’t worry. Now that I know about it, you can be damn sure I’ll do my best to check everythin’ off that list, sweetheart.” My heart skipped a beat because no one had ever understood my obsessive need to check off lists.
“Are you saying what I think you are?”
“If you’re askin’ if I love you, then the answer is yes. I was going to tell you after a round of some mindblowin’ sex, but since you’re lyin’ beneath me, carryin’ my child, it seems like a fittin’ time, don’t you think?”
“I think I’ve been in love with you since that night.” I brushed my nose along his, our lips so close, I could taste his warm breath.
“I think you deserve some lovin’, sweetheart. I’ve shown you once before, but I think you need to be reminded of how a cowboy takes care of their woman.” If I hadn’t been lying down already, I’d have fallen to my feet.
“You’re not mad?” I whispered, threading my fingers through his hair once again.
“Not even a little. You’ve given me everythin’ I didn’t know I needed in just one night. I couldn’t be happier, Logan.”