Chapter 18
Wondering the Same Thing
Gavin
The Parker looked exactly like the kind of place Rebecca would choose.
White tablecloths, gleaming silverware, and waitstaff who moved like they were choreographed.
The kind of restaurant where a salad cost thirty dollars and comes with two leaves of arugula, some microgreens, and a shaved purple carrot. What the hell was she thinking?
I'd left the diner three hours ago with her "maybe" hanging in the air like a question I didn't know how to answer. She'd said she needed to think. That was fair. That was more than fair, given everything I'd put her through.
But God, I wanted her to say yes.
The hostess led me to a table near the window. I sat facing the door and ordered a Coke when the waiter appeared. He looked at me like I'd just asked for plastic silverware, but I didn't care. I'd had enough coffee at breakfast, and the last thing I needed right now was wine.
My phone buzzed. I grabbed it too fast.
Rebecca: Running 5 min late. Traffic.
I set it face-down on the table and tried to breathe.
This was it. The moment I'd been planning all week. I'd tell Rebecca about Andi—really tell her, not just in a text. Set boundaries. Make it clear that we were done. Introduce Andi if she comes. Prove I was choosing her…If she came.
A few minutes later, the door opened and Rebecca walked in wearing a cream dress that probably cost more than my mortgage payment. Her hair was perfect. Makeup flawless. She looked like she was going to a gala, not a custody discussion.
She spotted me and smiled. The kind of smile that used to work on me all those years ago. Before I knew better.
"Gavin." Her lips pressed against my cheek before I could lean away, the contact lingering a half-second too long. The scent of her perfume—something expensive I didn't recognize—lingered as she sat across from me.
"Rebecca."
"This place is lovely. Have you been here before?"
"No. Why the hell did you pick this place? I thought it was a pub or something."
"I think you'll love it. The duck is incredible." She flagged down the waiter with a practiced wave. "I'll have the Sancerre. And we'll need a few minutes with the menu."
The waiter nodded and disappeared. I watched her settle into her chair, cross her legs, arrange her napkin like she was posing for a photograph.
"You look tired," she said, not unkindly. "Rough week?"
"Something like that."
"Charisse mentioned you've been distracted lately. Everything okay at work?"
"Work's fine." I took a sip of my Coke. "How have things been when she’s with you?"
"Good. Great, actually. She's excited about basketball camp." Rebecca glanced at the menu. "Though I'm still not sure why you signed her up without consulting me first."
"I told you about it two months ago. You said it was fine."
"Did I?" she smiled. "I must have forgotten."
This was classic Rebecca. Rewriting history to make me the bad guy. I'd learned not to take the bait. The waiter returned with her wine. She ordered the duck. I ordered a small Caesar salad.
"That's all?" Rebecca's eyebrows rose. "Gavin, they're known for their fabulous entrees."
"I met my girlfriend for breakfast and it was just a couple of hours ago." The words came out easier than I expected. "I'm not that hungry, and we shouldn't need to be here long."
Her smile tightened just slightly. "Right. Your girlfriend. Enid, was it?"
"Andi."
"Oh. Yes. Andi. How long have you two been together again?"
"Around six months now."
"Six months." She took a sip of wine. "And you're just now mentioning her?"
"We're not here to discuss my relationship, Rebecca. We're here to talk about Charisse's summer schedule given the changes you mentioned with David, which we could have done at a Panera."
"Of course." She set down her glass. "Though I have to say, it's a bit surprising. You always said you weren't ready to date after the divorce."
"Rebecca, we divorced eight years ago."
"Still. Six months is quite serious. Does Charisse know about her?"
My jaw tightened. "Not exactly. But she will."
"Hmm." Rebecca picked up her menu again, studying it like she hadn't just ordered. "I'm just thinking about Charisse, you know. She gets attached so easily. And if this woman is just a passing thing—"
"She's not."
"You can't know that."
"I do know that." I met her eyes. "And this conversation is over. We're here to discuss summer custody arrangements. Nothing else."
For a second, something flickered across her face. Surprise, maybe. Or calculation. Then the smile was back.
Her smile vanished. "Fine. I'm only looking out for Charisse.
" She glanced at the empty chair beside us.
"Speaking of whom—didn't you say there'd be three of us?
I specifically requested a table..." She trailed off, checking her phone calendar with exaggerated focus before looking up with renewed brightness.
"Charisse is at her friend’s house. I never—"
"Actually, no matter. Time with just the two of us is a much better idea. Now, looking at the summer—"
For the next twenty minutes, we talked about schedules. Or rather, Rebecca talked, and I tried to figure out what she was actually saying.
"The thing is," she said, moving her duck around her plate without really eating it, "I've been thinking about what's best for Charisse."
"Okay."
"My situation right now... it's not ideal." She took a sip of wine. "The place I'm in for the next month is small. It's only a one bedroom. And with everything going on with the divorce settlement, I need to get settled before I’ll be in a good place to have Charisse settle in permanently."
I waited. There was more coming.
"I've been thinking about what's the right approach here.
" She leaned forward, her voice dropping to that intimate tone she used to use when we were married. "Given my limitations, I won’t be able to move into my new place until the lease starts in August. I think it’s best if she stays with you full time this summer. Just until August."
"We can make it work for the summer. But you have to know that Charisse will be devastated if she sees you even less than now."
"I know. And I'm not saying it's permanent." She reached across the table, her fingers brushing mine. "And what if... what if I came over? After basketball camp. I could pick her up, bring her to your place, and we could all have dinner together. The three of us. Like a family."
I pulled my hand back. "You want to come to my house for dinner?"
"Not every night. Maybe three or four times a week?
" Her smile was warm and hopeful. "That way Charisse gets to be in her own room, in a stable environment, but she still gets time with both of us.
Together. And honestly..." She looked down at her wine glass.
"I miss this. Being around you. Being a family. "
There it was.
"Then she'd sleep there those nights," she continued, "in her own room. And I could stay late, help with bedtime, and make sure she's settled. Maybe some nights I could even stay over—on the couch, of course—if it's too late to drive home. You know how traffic can be."
My jaw tightened. "So you want to spend your custody time at my house."
"Our daughter's house," she corrected gently. "Where she's comfortable. Where she has everything she needs. And where..." She met my eyes. "Where we could maybe figure things out. For her sake."
"Figure things out."
"Gavin." She said my name like a sigh. "I made mistakes. I know that. But watching you with Charisse, seeing the father you've become, the man you are... Maybe we gave up too fast. Maybe there's still something here worth fighting for."
I stared at her, this woman I'd once loved, now sitting across from me at this restaurant table, essentially proposing to move back in under the guise of co-parenting.
"I'm with Andi," I said.
Her expression flickered—just for a second—before the smile returned. "I know. And I'm not asking you to change that right now. I'm just saying... let's spend time together. As a family. For Charisse. And who knows? Maybe you'll realize what we had was worth saving."
Was she fucking nuts? Warning bells were screaming in my head. "Rebecca—"
"I know, I know. We're divorced. You have a girlfriend. I have my life, you have yours." She set down her fork. "But David and I are done. Really done this time. And I've been thinking about what you said at the recital. About Charisse seeing us work together as parents."
"That's not what I said." My stomach turned. "Rebecca, no. Absolutely not. We're not doing this." I kept my voice low but firm. "I told you in my text. I'm in a relationship. A serious relationship. With someone I love. This lunch was about Charisse's summer schedule, and we're done."
Something shifted in her face. Not the performance—something underneath it. For just a second she looked exactly like what she was: a woman who'd made a catastrophic choice all those years ago and had never quite outrun it. Her eyes dropped to the table. "You don't mean that."
"I absolutely mean that."
"So what? You're just going to throw away everything we had? Everything we could offer Charisse? For some woman you've known for six months?"
"We didn't have anything, Rebecca. We had a marriage that ended eight years ago because you were sleeping with David not long after our daughter was born." I stood up and pulled out my wallet. "This conversation is over."
"Sit down." Her voice was sharp now. "People are staring."
"I don't care."
She stood too and came around the table. Before I could step back, her hands were on my face, pulling me toward her.
"Rebecca, what the hell—"
Her mouth was on mine. I jerked back immediately, my hands coming up to push her away.
"What the hell are you doing?" My voice came out louder than I meant it to.
"Reminding you," she said, breathless. "Reminding you of what we had. What we could—"
"I was wondering the same thing."
We both froze.
I turned.
Andi stood three feet away, looking like a knockout with the restaurant's soft lighting creating a halo around her. Her face was calm and composed. But her eyes—her eyes were locked on Rebecca with an expression I couldn't quite read.
"Andi." Her name came out like a breath.
She looked at me. Then back at Rebecca. "Hi. I'm Andi. Gavin's girlfriend." She held out her hand to Rebecca. "You must be Rebecca. I've heard so much about you. You can let go of him now."