15
SELENA
Flashback
The beach changed everything. Or so I thought.
Kai kissed me on the rocks. In front of everyone. He ran into the water for me. He let Rachel walk away. He chose me.
Or so I thought.
The next day, I woke up excited for our date. Then I opened Instagram and saw Rachel had tagged Kai in a photo of them kissing. I knew I shouldn't have trusted him.
He showed up on my balcony. Not with snacks. With purpose.
"Sel," he said, climbing over the railing. "I messed up the tickets. The show is tomorrow, not tonight."
I was sitting on my bed, already dressed. Not for him. For Matt.
Kai saw the dress. The hair. The makeup. His face fell.
"What's that for?"
"I have a date."
His jaw tightened. "With who?"
"Matt. From the beach."
"The guy you were texting?"
"Yeah."
"I thought you weren't interested."
"I wasn't. Then you went back to Rachel."
He stepped closer. His voice was low. Desperate.
"I'm not with Rachel anymore. I ended it. For real this time."
"Kai—"
"I came here to tell you I changed the tickets. I was going to take you out tonight. I was going to do it right. Dinner. The show. Everything."
I looked at him. This man who had broken my heart so many times.
"Why should I believe you?"
"Because I'm here. Because I'm trying. Because I kissed you on those rocks and I meant it."
My phone buzzed. Matt. On my way.
Kai saw the screen. His eyes darkened.
"Don't go."
"Kai—"
"Please. I'm begging you. Don't go on that date."
"I'm scared," I admitted. My voice broke. "I'm scared that if I cancel on him, you'll change your mind again. You always do. And I'll be left with nothing."
"I won't. I swear."
"You've sworn before."
He grabbed my hands. Held them tight.
"Sel, listen to me. I know I've hurt you. I know I've run. But I'm done running. I want this. I want you. Just give me tonight. Let me prove it."
I wanted to believe him. God, I wanted to.
But I was so tired of believing.
"Matt is already on his way."
"Then tell him something came up."
"I can't."
"Sel—"
"I have to go."
He let go of my hands. Stepped back. His face hardened.
"If you go on that date, I swear to God, Selena, you will lose me. I will never make you my girlfriend. I will never choose you. Do you understand?"
I nodded. Tears burning.
"I understand."
"Then stay."
"I can't."
I picked up my purse. Walked to the door.
"Sel."
I stopped. Didn't turn around.
"If you walk out that door, I'm done. I mean it. I will keep my word."
I opened the door.
"I know you will."
I left.
In the car with Matt, my phone kept buzzing.
Kai: I changed the tickets. I was coming back for you.
Kai: You chose him over me.
Kai: I hope he's worth it.
Kai: I kept my word. You're not my girlfriend. You never will be.
I stared at the screen. My hands were shaking.
"Matt," I said.
"Yeah?"
"I can't do this."
"Do what?"
"This. The date. I'm sorry. I love someone else. I've always loved someone else."
Matt looked at me for a long moment. Then he nodded.
"I know," he said. "It's okay. I'll take you home."
He turned the car around.
I ran to his house. Ran up the stairs to his room. My heart was pounding. This was it. Kai finally chose me, and I chose him. We could finally be together. A couple.
I pushed open the door and instantly regretted it. Kai was on his bed. Rachel was on top of him.
"Kai," I said, my voice breaking in disbelief.
He looked up. Didn't move.
"Get off him!" I screamed.
Rachel smirked at me, slow and satisfied.
"Rachel, leave," Kai said. She left.
"Kai, I chose you," I said, my voice shaking. "I didn't go on the date. I told him to turn the car around. I came back for you."
He didn't say anything. Just lifted the champagne bottle and took a slow drink.
"Kai, I chose you," I said again, more desperate this time.
He let out a low laugh. "You chose me after you went on a date with him."
"What? No. I didn't even go to the restaurant. I made him turn the car around."
"Sure you did," he said.
"I did! You have to believe me."
He finally looked at me, but there was no softness in his eyes. "You came back because he didn't want you. So you ran back to me. Like you always do."
"That's not true," I snapped, my voice breaking. "And you're no better. It's been twenty minutes and you're already in bed with her. Guess once a fuckboy, always a fuckboy."
We started arguing. Talking over each other. Yelling. Saying things we didn't mean. Throwing words just to hurt.
Then suddenly, he stopped. Ran his hands through his hair.
"I can't do this anymore, Sel."
Something inside me cracked.
"Neither can I, Kai," I said, my voice softer now. "But I'm still here."
I stepped closer, my heart in my throat.
"I will never choose anyone over you. They can't compare to you. So take a chance on me. On my love. Pick me," I said, tears burning in my eyes. "Because I promise you, I will never love another man the way I love you."
For a second, everything went still.
Then Rachel walked back in.
"Kai, we're going to be late for our show," she said casually.
He hesitated.
"If you go with her, we are done," I said, my voice barely holding together. "Please."
He looked at me. And then he walked past me. Straight to her.
"Kai," I whispered, my voice breaking. "I can't keep choosing you if you won't choose me back. I was so afraid of this. That I would leave him for you, and you still wouldn't choose me."
He looked taken aback. But he still left. The door closed behind him.
And just like that, it was over.
I stood there for a moment, staring at the empty space he left behind. Then my legs gave out, and I sank onto the edge of his bed. The same bed. The same room. Everything felt the same. Except it wasn't.
I thought I had Matt. I thought I had Kai. But in the end, I had no one.