41
SELENA
I waited by the door watching him leave. I should have asked him to stay. I should have fought for him. But I couldn't. I couldn't. Because I promised myself after Kai that I would never beg someone to stay in my life again.
But now, as I watched the love of my life break, I broke too.
He thinks I love Kai. Why? I wanted to speak. I wanted to say the words. But I was so scared. With Kai, my words were never enough to make him stay. And with Lucien, I was afraid that if I asked him to stay, he would still leave and break my heart again. I couldn't bear that pain. So I said nothing. Nothing.
And now I stand here, staring at the closed door, not knowing what to do. Keep my boundaries or fight for him. Why did he have to leave? Everyone always leaves. And Lucien was the one person in the world I never had to ask to stay, because he stayed anyway.
I know I should have told him about the baby. But I shut that memory away. Lucien was my fresh start away from all of that. He was my sun in the dark. And now he's gone.
I don't know how long I stood there. A minute. Half an hour. Time didn't exist anymore.
Then I heard it. The door opening.
I looked up. He stood there. His suitcase in hand. White shirt, sleeves rolled up. Eyes red from crying. He looked at me with those dark eyes.
"I forgot something."
My heart stopped. "Oh? What?" I asked, playing with my sleeves, nervous.
"You."
"What?" I whispered, afraid I misheard.
"You."
He dropped his luggage and walked toward me quickly. I met him halfway. Ran to him. He kissed me. Slow. Deep. We both cried.
"I'm sorry," we said at the same time, then laughed through our tears.
"I'm sorry for what you had to go through." He closed his eyes briefly. "I'm ready to hear it, whenever you're ready to tell me."
I nodded and touched his face. "I'm ready."
"Lucien," I said softly.
"Yes, little love."
"There are a number of things I want to say. The first is, I know I'm a little late, but don't leave. Never leave me. God, I love you. I love you so much."
He listened, tears in his eyes.
"The next is, you can never be Kai. You're right."
He nodded, waiting.
"Not because you can't compete with him. But because there is no competition when it comes to you. Everyone says Kai is my big love. And yes, I loved him. He was my first love. But you..." My voice broke. "You are my true love. My soulmate."
I started to sob. "Even though you're dying, even though you're going to leave me, there will never be anyone else for me. Ever."
He pulled me closer.
"You came into my life and you saved me. You brought colour into my dark world. You gave me a purpose. But most of all, you made me realize I don't have to change who I am to be loved. And I don't have to destroy myself to find it. Love doesn't have to be pain. And sometimes the movies we watch and the books we read make us believe toxic love is our soulmate, but that isn't true."
I looked deep into his eyes. "I would choose you over Kai in every lifetime. Lucien Thorne, you are my true love."
He let out a breath. A breath of relief. Of gratitude. Of finally knowing he wasn't my second choice.
"Say it again," he whispered.
"Lucien Thorne, you are my true love. My soulmate. And—" I looked into his eyes, then down at my stomach, my hand resting there. "And you are the father of our baby."
He looked at me. Then at my stomach. Then back at me. His eyes asked the question.
I nodded.
He let out a sound, half laugh, half cry, and pulled me into him, lifting me as he kissed me hard.
This was always my dream. And I'm living it. Even though Lucien is dying, I have found true love. And I have a part of him that will always live on with me. A piece of us.
This was always the reaction I dreamed of. My dreams came true in the saddest way possible.
When he started packing, I thought history was repeating itself. I froze. But he came back. He always comes back.
I wish we could raise our baby together. I know that's impossible now. But no matter how this ends, I will never regret meeting Lucien. A man who reminded me who I was. A man who made all other men feel like boys. A man who will live on in my heart forever.
My first choice. My only choice.
He always comes back.
Even when I know one day he won't.