Chapter Five
Shane
On the drive to the hospital, Amber and I talk more about our childhoods, how she managed raising L.J., and I learn a lot about her son.
According to Amber, he is a sweet boy with a good disposition, easy to get along with, hates baths, showers, and anything to do with water.
On the plus side of that, he is a good listener, so she merely has to remind him and nudge him a time or two to get him to clean up at night.
He likes superheroes and baseball. He also loves to read and is ahead of his grade.
His favorite books are Harry Potter, and he is looking forward to making new friends in school this year.
I hope to meet her son soon, which is saying something, considering I never thought I’d be interested in a woman long-term, never mind getting to know her child.
Now I am focused on my immediate concern, dealing with my father. I stride into the hospital with Amber by my side, following the directions Margo texted to me, walking down the hall where my father’s room should be located.
From a distance, I see my dad, Margo next to him, slowly making his way toward us, my father’s hand on an IV pole as he walks.
“Incoming,” I say, gripping Amber’s hand, and she glances up at me.
“That’s your father?” she asks.
I nod.
We meet up with the other couple in the middle of the hall. In his hospital gown and slippers, his face pale, expression drawn, my dad looks much older than his years. Margo, too, looks exhausted, her dark hair pulled back, no makeup, as if she’s been at the hospital since my father was brought in.
“Shane! Margo said she’d called and you were coming, but I wasn’t actually sure,” my father says.
“I’m here. Hello, Margo.” I tip my head at my stepmother, the awkwardness between all of us a tangible thing. “Dad, Margo, this is Amber. Amber, my father, Zachary, and his wife,” I say stiffly.
“It’s nice to meet you,” Amber murmurs.
“Same.” Margo smiles at Amber, her entire demeanor welcoming, while I can feel my father studying Amber, assessing her.
“Zach, you should get back to your room. The nurse said a short walk,” Margo reminds him.
“Sure. Son, walk with me,” my dad commands.
“If you could point out the waiting room?” Amber asks before I can comment. “I’ll grab a cup of coffee if there is one.”
“I’ll show you,” Margo says. “I’d like a cup myself. I’ll be right back,” she assures her husband.
Amber sends me a reassuring smile, and though it grates, I stay with my father, not wanting to upset him while he is in the hospital.
We slowly head back to my father’s room in silence, and I wait until he resettles himself in bed before walking over and speaking.
“So you’re okay?” I ask.
“I haven’t gotten yesterday’s test results back yet but I think so. It’s just going to be a lifestyle adjustment.” My father shifts in the bed, getting more comfortable.
“So no more steaks and whiskey?” I pull up a chair and sit down.
“Bite your tongue.” My father’s mulish expression is typical.
“Well, I’m sure things will have to change, and Margo will make sure you’re here for a while.”
A long while, hopefully, because my father isn’t old at all. He just turned sixty last year. Margo threw a party. I made sure I was too busy to attend.
“So who’s the woman you brought with you?” my father asks before I have a chance to delve into why he wanted to see me.
Smiling at the mention of Amber, I glance at my father. “A good friend.” I have no intention of involving a man who couldn’t care less about me most days of the year in my private life.
My father narrows his gaze. “Tell me about her.”
I shrug. Talking about Amber isn’t a hardship. “She’s smart, going back to school to make a better life for herself and her son.”
“Seriously? You can do better than a single mother looking for someone to take care of her.”
I blink, any hope I harbored deep down that this heart attack softened my father gone in the second it took for that shit to spew from his mouth.
“First, I said we were friends.”
“And I saw the grin on your face the minute I mentioned her.”
I push myself to a standing position. “Okay, I came because Margo said you asked for me, but if you’re going to be your usual pompous, arrogant self, I’m out of here.”
Insulting Amber is off the table. I admire all she’s done with her life in the face of difficult circumstances.
I am falling hard for her, and though I have to hide it publicly for now, I’m not letting her go.
Especially not because my father doesn’t approve.
I can’t give less of a shit what my father thinks.
“Wait.” My dad pauses, then adds, “Please.”
Folding my arms across my chest, I meet my father’s gaze.
“Why did you want to see me?”
My father’s expression falters, and suddenly he looks more … humble, if I had to pick a word. “When I had the heart attack, I was lying waiting for the ambulance and a lot of my mistakes flashed in front of my eyes. Things I’d done wrong, especially with you.”
I’m not exactly shocked my father had a revelation when he was scared and thought he might die. But how he reacted to Amber? The man hasn’t changed. I wait for Zachary to talk more before I pass full judgment.
“I wasn’t a present father.”
“To put it mildly.”
A muscle ticks in my father’s jaw. “I wanted a fresh start, and I thought if I threw money at your mother, I was doing right enough by you. I was wrong.”
I swallow hard. “I’m grateful Mom didn’t have it harder than she already did, raising me alone. But you were wrong. A boy misses having a father.”
Something Amber’s son will surely go through, I suddenly realize, my heart hurting for the little boy.
Although she said he has a solid support system, uncles, grandparents.
That ought to help. And if he meets and likes me, I could be there for him, too.
A more local, present male influence. Once again, I am shocked that I, who never thought I had the time for anything more than my work and my future goals, am thinking about Amber and her son as more than just a summer fling.
“Shane. Are you listening? I said I know, and I’m sorry,” Zachary says.
“But you still have your opinions. And those don’t jibe with the way I live my life. What you said about Amber is just one example. You don’t even know her, and you found her lacking and assumed she’d be using me.”
My father nods. “You’re right. But you don’t expect a zebra to change its stripes overnight, do you?” He tries to make a joke of it, but I’m not laughing.
Frowning, I shake my head. “No. But I can’t say it’s going to be easy to have a relationship after all these years.”
“I’m just asking if we can try.”
I’m not about to argue or upset the man who just had a heart attack. As much as I resent my father, a small part of me, the little boy who missed a father at his ball games and graduations, wants more than one birthday phone call a year with him.
“We can try,” I agree.
Just then, a knock sounds on the door, and Margo walks into the room. “Okay if I stay?”
“Sure, honey. Come in,” Zachary says.
Margo walks over to the bed and sits on the edge. “Did you two have a good talk?”
I nod. “We did.”
“I spent some time with Amber. She’s a sweetheart,” Margo says.
With a grin, I can’t help but agree. One thing my father is right about: I can’t help my reaction at the mention of Amber. She has me wanting things I hadn’t imagined in my future before I bumped into her on campus.
Now all I have to do is get through the end of the summer semester, and we are free to explore what can really be between us.
* * *
Amber
I sense Shane’s need to think on the ride home from the hospital, and I allow him the silence he needs. If he wants to talk, I am here to listen. He surprises me when he pulls off at an unfamiliar exit.
“Where are we going?” I ask him.
“I think we need a nice late lunch, don’t you?”
My stomach rumbles at his suggestion. “Yes, as you can hear.” I pat my belly and laugh.
“I know of a place off this exit. A colleague mentioned it at a faculty meeting. We’re here. We might as well give it a try.”
I nod in agreement. “Sounds good to me. What kind of food?”
“American. Burgers, chicken, that sort of thing. I think they also have an outdoor terrace where we can eat if you don’t think it’s too hot.”
“I’d love to sit outside.”
“Good.” He doesn’t speak again as he drives to the restaurant.
I glance at his still-serious profile. He is clearly uptight about whatever happened with his dad.
I have to admit the man wasn’t friendly to me, but I chalked it up to illness.
Margo was sweet, and I enjoyed the few minutes I spent with her, although I understand why Shane has his issues with his father’s wife.
My parents have a happy marriage, and I can’t imagine what he lived through as a child.
After a short drive off the exit, he pulls into the lot. A large framed building with a wraparound porch sits behind it. Shane helps me out of the car and leads the way up three steps to the hostess stand.
On our request, we are seated outside in a private corner where no one is around us. We each order a glass of iced tea and study the menu and place our orders, a Nicoise salad for me, a grilled chicken sandwich for Shane.
Finally, I can’t take the silence any longer. “Are you okay?”
He braces his arms on the table and meets my gaze. “It’s hard admitting my father’s an asshole. Always was, always will be. Yes, he had an epiphany and knows he didn’t do right by me, but it hasn’t changed who he is deep down. And that’s tough to swallow.”
I reach across the table and put my hand in his. “I’m really sorry.”
“Thank you.” He nods, stroking his thumb over my skin. “The thing is, I’d made my peace with who he is. I just hated having it thrown in my face again.”
I bite down on my lower lip. “Do you want to talk about it?” I offer.
He answers with an abrupt shake of his head. “It’s fine. I’ll eat a good lunch with fabulous company and put it behind me.”