Chapter 28 Hazel
TWENTY-EIGHT
Hazel
“I still can’t believe your family picks out a Christmas tree the week before Thanksgiving.”
Reid tugged my beanie on so that it fit more snugly around my ears. It was flurrying outside, but barely.
“Mom likes to have the tree up before, so when we have the big dinner it’s in the background and the house is all decorated.”
“I love that,” I said, as we milled about in the parking lot waiting for the rest of his family to arrive.
The Christmas tree lot was thirty minutes away from his house in a more rural area.
There was a surprising number of people here for what I deemed to be far too early to buy anything Christmas-related.
The entire place was surrounded by thousands of twinkle lights, and trees of all different shapes and sizes were lined up in rows.
Apparently, there were different breeds of Christmas trees.
I had no idea, but Reid made sure to educate me.
There were also a few stands selling trinkets and ornaments, along with hot chocolate and spiced nuts. The smells teased me.
“Reid?” I asked, batting my eyelashes.
“Yes?”
“Will you buy me a hot chocolate?”
He laughed, shaking his head before throwing an arm around my shoulders and steering me toward the stand.
Honestly, I barely even needed a hot drink.
I was already glowing just being here with him tonight.
He wanted me here. With him. With his family.
Luck hadn’t been on my side lately, but I felt it right now.
“Did you and your Gran have a tradition around getting a tree?” he asked.
“Nope. This is my first time coming to one of these things.” I thought back to all of the Christmases Gran and I had shared together.
Cozy evenings spent underneath handmade crocheted blankets.
Buying a ham that was ridiculously big for two people, but we both loved having leftovers for days.
Opening our presents for each other on Christmas Eve because we couldn’t wait until morning.
This would be my first without her, and the weight of that was starting to creep up on me.
As if sensing my shift, Reid held me tighter.
“What did you do, then?”
“It probably will not shock you to find out that we had a silver artificial tree, likely from the 1940s, that we put up every year the week before Christmas.”
“There’s no way that doesn’t have lead in it.”
“Oh, it most definitely does. The thing is a true antique. It was my great-grandma’s before it was ours.”
“Do you still have it?” he asked.
“Yep, tucked away in my coat closet. You would be horrified to see the inside of that thing. I’ve kept the worst of my hoarding tendencies from you.”
He chuckled. “It’s okay, I accept you for who you are.”
And my heart exploded.
He hugged me close to his side. “Can we put that tree up together? At your place? I want to see it.”
The sentiment made my eyelids heavy with unshed tears.
“Sure,” I choked out.
“If there’s room, that is.”
I laughed and shoved his chest.
He bought our hot chocolates even though I tried to insist on paying. When I pulled out my wallet, he’d given me a look like I should know not to bother.
We resumed our waiting stance near the edge of the parking lot. I checked the time to see that his folks were five minutes behind schedule. We’d been early, only thanks to Reid.
“I’m surprised your family is late when punctual is basically your middle name.”
“West, whom you’ll finally get to meet, is always late. And my parents are pretty good, but Regan has been slowing them down ever since she moved back in. Ruby and I are the punctual ones, but she probably got a ride with someone else.”
“Got it,” I said, feeling a slight tremor of nerves, even though I had already met every individual member of his immediate family.
I hadn’t had the pleasure of meeting West yet.
Reid had mentioned him a few times, and I’d even seen him in passing once when he’d been picking up Ruby from the salon for lunch.
At the time I’d only registered him as Ruby’s friend, and I only remembered him because Jackson and I had talked about how hot he was.
A car pulled up at the same time a pickup entered the lot. Reid’s entire family fell out of both vehicles like they’d been in a clown car, all bustling and full of chatter.
“Hazel!” Regan exclaimed as soon as she saw me. Ruby smiled and waved as everyone walked over and embraced me in a frenzy of hugs.
“You look lovely, dear.” His mom squeezed my shoulders.
Hanging at the back of the pack was West. He was just as handsome as I remembered him being.
“Hey, I’m Hazel,” I said, offering him a mittened hand.
“West.” He shot me a charming grin and shook my outstretched hand. “Nice to finally, officially meet you.”
“Likewise.”
“You’re so lucky you left the salon early today,” Ruby said as we walked back toward the entrance to the lot as a pack. “Miranda was really in a mood. Told us we all needed to keep more organized schedules, and no more late cancelations.”
I balked. “What? Like we have any control over that!”
“I know! It’s like she wants us to start charging or something.”
Reid launched into a conversation with West about a poker game they were trying to organize.
Regan was arguing with her mother, begging her not to take forever to pick out the perfect tree.
Mr. Mitchell hung back with a cheery smile on his face, taking in his family dynamic.
Even with all the voices talking over each other, everything about the evening was peaceful.
I could barely think straight, and still, I loved every second of it.
Maybe this was why Reid clung to his routines now.
Growing up with siblings and constant family noise probably made him crave the freedom to do exactly what he wanted, when he wanted.
It was unfamiliar, sure, but it felt just like I’d always imagined it would.
Stepping into something so different from my usual life helped ease the weight of lingering grief.
If I were home right now, bracing for the holidays alone without even Vermont for comfort, I’d probably be drowning in self-pity.
Reid tossed his head back and laughed at something West said. Watching them made me smile. We hadn’t talked about it yet, but I hoped there was a semblance of permanence to this current state of ours.
One hour later and a surprising number of arguments about which type of tree to get, the Mitchell family had finally narrowed down their choices to two.
“Just decide!” Regan exclaimed. “I can’t walk around this tree park anymore. My feet are going to fall off.”
“We still have to take it home and decorate it,” Ruby pointed out.
Mrs. Mitchell continued to evaluate the two, going back and forth between the aisles they were in.
“They’re both great, honey,” Reid’s dad said.
“This happens every year,” Reid whispered to me, his hot breath on my ear making me shiver.
“It’s a big deal, picking a tree. You only get one a year,” I said.
Reid covered my mouth with his hand and jerked his gaze to his mom. “Shhh. Don’t let her hear you say that. You’ll just add flame to her already out-of-control fire.”
I giggled and mimed zipping my lips.
Finally, after at least fifteen more minutes of circling the trees and touching the branches, Reid’s mom made a decision. The employees came to wrap it up and assist with loading it into the bed of West’s truck.
“Alright, everyone, meet back home for decorating and snacks,” Mrs. Mitchell announced.
“You got it, Sarge,” Ruby said.
I laughed, grinning like an idiot when Reid grabbed my hand and led me back to the car.
“Thanks for inviting me,” I said, settling into my seat and pulling on my seatbelt.
“Thanks for coming.” He leaned over the center console and kissed me.
I was buzzing with electricity the entire drive to his parents’ house. Was this what being happy felt like? Like, truly out of your mind happy? I missed Gran every day, but Reid and his family were filling voids I’d always assumed would be left empty.
Back at their family home, I sat with West on the couch while Reid and the rest of the clan started pulling out bin upon bin of Christmas decorations.
It pleased me to find out that they weren’t one of those families with the fancy glass ornaments all purchased from the same designer store.
No, they had quite the collection. One with each kid’s handprints.
The base of the trunk from every tree they’d ever had, labeled by year of course.
A crocheted angel. A fuzzy reindeer. The list went on.
Reid’s mom was adorable, insisting on showing each one to me and explaining its meaning.
“I still remember my first Christmas here,” West whispered to me. “The summaries for each ornament have gotten shorter. I think Ruby gave her a talking-to after it took them nearly three hours to go through everything.”
I laughed. “Was that when you moved in here?”
“Yep. Reid has been my best friend since middle school, so I was grateful they let me move in. I miss my parents, but the Mitchells have always been like a second family to me.”
I watched as Reid reached all the way to the top of the tree to string rainbow lights, his brow furrowed with a look of concentration.
“Got that whole cat situation figured out?” West asked, before taking a long sip of eggnog.
“Almost.” I held up my crossed fingers. “We should know this week.”
“Good. I’m glad Reid brought you tonight,” he continued, making me instantly flush. Was I about to get the best friend approval? The rest of the family chatted loudly in the background, arguing over the placement of a particular ornament and where the stockings usually hung.
“Not gonna lie, when he first brought you up, I thought there was no way. Reid is so set in his ways, a bit of a buttoned-up guy. As I’m sure you’ve noticed.”
“Definitely,” I said, my heart beating faster than before.
“And when he said you were such a mess and didn’t have your life together, I was like no way. That’s way too much for him to handle.”
Too much? A mess?
My body stiffened as I forced the smile not to drop from my face.
I was familiar with those words, but I thought Reid saw me differently. Saw me as more than that. Had I been wrong the whole time? Was I some sort of fixer-upper? A project for him to work on?
“But you two seem to vibe. I’m happy for him.” West continued to speak, but I was struggling to focus.
My bubble had officially burst, popped as soon as the careless words left West’s mouth.
Knowing that Reid had said those things about me to his best friend stung.
He must like me, I wasn’t doubting that.
There was no mistaking the way he acted around me.
But did he like me in spite of all my flaws?
I always thought he didn’t see them as harshly as everyone else did.
I clasped my hands together. The whole revelation was making me incredibly self-conscious.
Suddenly the rejections from every single person through my entire life rang through my ears.
I was always too much, or not enough. A ‘hot mess express,’ as my so-called high school friends always said.
And I didn’t have my life together. Not in the way Reid did.
I was getting blackmailed, for crying out loud, because of my own stupidity.
Reid was like an actual adult. He had a home.
He wasn’t in a mountain of debt. He ate well-rounded meals.
I must seem like a child to him. Someone to take care of.
“Are you okay?” West asked. When my vision refocused on him, I could see the concern shining in his eyes.
Shit. My face had faltered, and I probably looked on the brink of tears.
“I’m great,” I said, plastering a smile back on.
The decorations were almost up. I just had to make it a little longer before I could lose it.