Always Waiting (Always #2)

Chapter 1

CHAPTER ONE

ATLAS

“Do you think making a body so you can call an ambulance counts as building a relationship on a lie?” The question spills from my lips innocently, and the man beneath me lets out a low grunt of fury, his eyes gone wide like he can’t believe I’m asking him for relationship advice while I have a knife to his throat.

I’m not actually the biggest fan of knives. Killing up close means you run the risk of getting hurt, and I swore a long time ago that I’d do everything in my power to make sure I was here for my kids as long as possible.

Especially now that North has a boyfriend. I’d be a shit father if I left my son all on his own—a psychopath trying to navigate a relationship was going about as well as I could expect. I’d already had to clean up four bodies because North didn’t know how to control his temper.

The last one was some poor guy who’d flirted with Ranen while they were out shopping. I still hadn’t told Ranen about that one yet.

My attention snaps back to the man beneath me—I’d taken him for a reason, and it wasn’t just because I was trying to figure out a way back into the hospital where I’d first met my son’s boyfriend.

This asshole was part of a group I’d been tracking down for years—I weeded them out every now and then, and I took my time making sure that I tore them apart.

It wasn’t really the group, though. It was their leader. The man at the end of my knife belonged to the person who’d killed my wife—I’d never been able to get a hold of that particular bastard. I knew who he was, but I had no idea where he was.

That didn’t mean I couldn’t occasionally get hold of one of his little underlings so I could send a message.

He ran, and I killed his men when I found them or they came after me.

Keegan had to know I wouldn’t rest until I hunted him down and took him apart one little piece at a time. It’s why he hadn’t shown his face since the day he’d killed her.

Julia had been gone for years—longer than we’d been together—but if I closed my eyes, I could still remember exactly what she looked like, exactly the way she smiled. I could still remember how sweet her laugh was.

If I closed my eyes, I could see a truth that ached deep in my soul—she’d died because I’d been selfish enough to think that a man like me could have a woman like her, could have something so good with the kind of life I led.

It’s my fault she’s gone.

I jerk myself from my thoughts and plaster a smirk across my features.

The man beneath me deserves my full attention, after all.

I need to make sure I take care of him, because the last thing I need is to fuck up.

I’ve been sending Keegan bodies for years—I wasn’t about to let one of them get away so he could go off and tell his boss I was starting to slip.

“Between you and me, I’d think of it as less a lie and more… an opportunity, right? It’s not like you’d be faking your injuries.” As though to prove that point, I lift the knife I’m holding and slam it home in his shoulder.

He lets out a pain-filled scream beneath the gag I have stuffed into his mouth, and I sigh softly. I don’t know why I think this will make me feel better—I don’t particularly enjoy killing. But I’m good at it. I’ve always been good at it, and I can do it without feeling any guilt.

I’m not like North, though—I don’t need to kill. And I’m not like Wylder, who seems like his entire life revolves around making sure that he’s known far and wide for his brutal efficiency.

I’m just…

Tired.

Fuck, I’m tired.

“You’re not very good at giving advice, do you know that?

” I mutter the accusation as I push back from the man on the ground and stand.

He has enough holes in him that I’m sure Keegan will get the message I’m trying to send, even if he doesn’t connect it to the fact that it’s me signing it in blood.

I grab my gun from the table beside me and turn, pointing it at the asshole on the ground with a sigh. “It’s just… there’s this nurse.”

This nurse.

Calvin.

It really doesn’t make sense, the way I’m thinking about him—the way I’ve been thinking about him since the first time I saw him.

I wasn’t sure what it was… the warmth in his eyes, the fierce protectiveness in the way he put himself between me and Ranen like he could actually do something to stop me if I’d wanted to hurt him.

I’m not sure why, but I haven’t been able to get him off my mind since the last time I was at the hospital, and I’ve been spending more time than I should trying to figure out an excuse to get back in there to see him.

Sure, I could just stroll into the ER and ask, but there’s every chance he’ll brush me off the same way he did before. I’d asked him out for coffee the last time I’d been there, and he told me he was too busy with work.

Which means the only way to make sure I have his attention is by making sure I’m part of that work.

Being in the hospital and realizing that I still have it in me to flirt, that someone can still make me feel something… well, it made me realize I’m more than tired.

I’m lonely.

I know it’s not just meeting Calvin that made me realize that—it’s seeing North, even though he’s a little obsessive and possessive about it. It’s seeing the way he’s ready to burn the world down for Ranen.

And it’s seeing the way Ranen looks back at him, like the entire universe lives somewhere in his gaze, and all he wants is to be there, to live in it.

It’s remembering that, once upon a time, Julia looked at me that way too.

It’s realizing that it’s been entirely too long since I’ve let myself even think about caring.

And… maybe it’s the way Calvin practically glows like the sun when he tries to hide a blush while I’m flirting with him.

It’s a lot of things… and it’s also a puzzle, because I have to figure out how to make sure I get his attention and keep it.

Maybe it’s a distraction—maybe it’s fascination. I just know that I have to see him again.

“You understand how it is, right? Someone catches your eye, and you can’t really help yourself?

” I level my gun at him, wondering if I should shoot him in the stomach or the chest. “When someone makes you feel that way, you’ll do anything to catch their attention, right?

Of course…” My mouth twists down into a frown.

“It’s not like I can really send him you.

Not after…” I gesture to the knife wounds on his body, and then glance between the gun I’m holding and his chest.

There isn’t a hole there yet, but…

I finally kneel, pressing the barrel of the gun to his sternum and yanking his gag free with a sigh.

“So, any advice?”

He stares up at me for a moment, and his lips twist in a pain-filled smirk.

“Yeah. Maybe don’t talk so much.”

I have a second to realize what he means before I feel a sharp pain in my side. I don’t know when his partner managed to sneak into the room, though I know it probably has nothing to do with my talking and everything to do with the fact that I’m still in this asshole’s house instead of my own.

I should have taken him to my house.

I should have dragged his ass into my basement and—

Two shots go off—one aimed at the man on the ground and the other at the fleeing figure of the bastard who stabbed me. I’m not even sure if he wanted to save his partner, or if he was just trying to take me out… but either way, I hear the low scream of pain that tears from him.

At least I hit him.

His heavy footfalls still sound as he runs out the door and into the yard.

I take aim with my gun and put another bullet into his back, glad we’re in an isolated location so no one can hear the silenced shots.

When the body falls, I let out a soft grunt and my eyes turn back to the dead man on the ground in front of me.

“Well… fuck.” I put another bullet into his head for good measure and glance down at my side.

It’s bleeding, but it’s nothing I haven’t dealt with before. My entire torso is covered in scars—knife wounds, bullet wounds. A few burn marks. It’s a map of all the ways I’ve put myself in danger over my lifetime, and all the ways I’ve cheated death when I knew the bastard was coming for me.

This time, he’s going to miss out on meeting me because the asshole who stabbed me glanced off my ribs. It’ll leave a nasty scar, but it’s not going to kill me.

With a groan, I rip my shirt over my head and press it to my side, hissing sharply when the sting of pain washes over me and threatens to sink into my bones.

I’m getting too old for this shit. It’s been years since I’ve been stabbed—years since I’ve let anyone sneak up on me.

My eyes glance down to the man again.

Maybe don’t talk so much.

Maybe he was right.

I kick his dead body and pull out my phone, punching in North’s number.

There’s an answer on the second ring, but it isn’t North’s deep tone that calls out.

“Hey Atlas, uh… it’s pretty late, so I have to guess this isn’t a social call?” Ranen’s voice is thick with sleep, but the concern is there. The boy wears his heart on his sleeve, and he loves our whole family. He’s good.

“Can I talk to my son, please?” I keep my voice level and the pain out of my tone—there’s no reason to worry him, after all. He knows what we do and who we are, but that doesn’t mean I have to drag him into every dirty detail.

North does that enough as it is.

“It’s fine, baby.” North’s voice murmurs in the background, then there’s a soft sound as he takes the phone. “Dad?”

“I want you to remember how many bodies I’ve taken care of for you in the last year,” I start, but he cuts me off before I can continue.

“Are you okay?”

I glance down at my side and the blood slowly soaking through my white shirt. It’s not exactly ideal circumstances, but at the same time…

“Nothing a visit to the hospital won’t fix. Don’t worry. I just need you to come take care of a few bodies so I don’t have to worry about someone finding them while I’m getting stitches. You can take them to the house and drop them off if you’re busy.”

“I can take care of it. Just… stitches?”

I sigh—North won’t let it go, and the last thing I need is him worrying when he should be paying attention to cleanup.

“Knife to the side. It glanced off the ribs—” A small squeak in the background tells me that Ranen probably heard what I said. “Honestly, it’ll be fine. Just—”

“I can drive you to the hospital,” Ranen says, his voice high and panicked. I start to protest before I realize… maybe I shouldn’t.

After all, if anything was going to get Calvin’s attention, it would be the pretty little redhead he was so protective of coming back in with me, wouldn’t it? That and… as I stand, my body sways slightly.

I really am getting too old for all this action.

“All right. I’ll send you the address.”

“We’ll be there soon.” North hangs up without any preamble, though I can hear Ranen already talking a mile a minute in the background. I didn’t want to worry him, but now that I know they’re coming, I settle back. Moving will just make the bleeding worse.

“Guess you had a solution after all, didn’t you?”

It looks like I am going to see Calvin again… even if it’s under slightly different circumstances than I’d planned.