Chapter 11 #2
I know I need all the time I can get to lock the doors and windows and do a quick sweep of the house. There’s nothing here, and when I flick on my security system and draw the blinds, I feel a little better. I have a gun—I have multiple guns.
I’m just typing up a text to North and Wylder when Calvin comes out of the bathroom wearing a pair of sweats that I set out for him. He looks soft in them, a little afraid. But there’s a steely determination behind that look, like he’s made up his mind about something.
He blows out a breath. “You told me… when you came over. You said… that you…” He looks at me with pleading eyes. “I have secrets too, Atlas.”
“Calvin—”
“No, listen.” He takes a seat, putting his head in his hands. “I was married. My ex-husband, he…” He drops his arms to look at me, but his eyes snag on the mess I left on the table.
They go wide as he searches the papers, catching on the photos of him, and then lift back up to me. “Atlas, what is this?”
I could tell him—I could tell him the whole story.
About Keegan, about how we knew each other when we were younger, and I made the mistake of letting him live when I should have killed him.
I could tell him everything, but at that moment, the only thing I want to tell him is that as long as he’s here, as long as he’s mine…
I’ll keep him safe. Everything else can come after.
“We both have demons, Calvin. But I’ve spent my entire life learning how to get rid of them. I can get rid of yours too.” I can’t help it. I step closer, and slide my fingers gently along the length of his arm. When he doesn’t stop me, I cup his cheek. “I want to protect you.”
His eyes go soft for a second—a flash—and then he shakes his head. “No.”
I’m so caught up in his expression that the word catches me off guard. “No?”
“No. I know how dangerous Mitchell is. We can protect each other.”
Fuck.
Fuck. He sounds so determined and brave, and if I wasn’t already falling for him, that would have pushed me over the edge.
I can’t stop myself when I lean down and press my lips to his, and when I slide my arms around his waist and haul him up and against me, it’s like a bomb detonating.
He presses into me and opens his mouth, letting out a low moan when I swipe my tongue inside to really taste him.
It’s like every second we’ve spent together before this suddenly collides and explodes—or maybe it’s the tension and stress we’re both feeling.
Maybe it’s the fact that we’ve both been holding back since the second we met. Now that we’re finally letting ourselves feel whatever this is, now that we know each other’s darkest secrets, there’s nothing left to hold us back.
There’s nothing left to quell the need and desire that wells so deep in my chest it makes me groan and grind against him, my hands dipping down to his hips to yank him even closer.
He’s hard too—hard enough that the friction is almost painful. Calvin whimpers against my lips and rocks his hips into me again. I’ve never been angry with fabric before, but my slacks and the sweats he has on seem almost sinful.
I want more.
I need more.
“Calvin, fuck,” I groan, pulling back. There’s something else we’re supposed to be doing. Serious shit we’re supposed to be talking about, but he dips his lips and nuzzles against my neck, mouthing at the sensitive skin before he presses to my pulse and sucks. “Fuck,” I hiss. “Wait, wait.”
Why am I telling him to wait?
“Why?” he echoes the question in my head. “I know your secrets, you know mine… and I don’t care, Atlas. Fuck, I might die tomorrow—”
“You’re not going to die.”
“And I’ve wanted this…” He rocks against me again to punctuate his point.
“Since the first time you touched me.” Desperation, desire, adrenaline—the circumstances are all colliding together, and I can’t think around it.
I can’t think about anything but the fact that I’ve known from the second I saw him that he was perfect.
My mind feels hazy, and my body is on fire everywhere he’s touching me. “We need to…” I lean my head in, pressing my mouth to his and kissing him, licking into that heat until he’s whining again. “Need to talk… mm…”
He pulls back, pupils blown, breath coming in soft, shuddery gasps. “Yeah, we need to talk…” He leans in and kisses me one more time. “After.”
After sounds good to me.
I’m not sure if Calvin loses the sweats he just pulled on before or after we get to my room—and some part of me is aware that talking first might be a good idea. Hell, making sure he’s actually okay might be a good idea.
“Calvin, are you—”
“If you don’t take me to bed right now, Atlas, I swear to God, I’ll show you how much I don’t need to be protected.”
I’ve been threatened more times than I can count in my life, and I can say without a shadow of a doubt that Calvin means it.
I take him at his word and gently shove him back onto the bed, and from the look of lust that washes over his features and the way he’s already hard… I guess talking really can wait.
I crawl between his legs and he opens them for me, his lids fluttering shut for a moment when my lips brush against his inner thigh. It’s almost like I’m offering him peace—a reprieve. A safe harbor in the shitstorm that we both know is coming.
I want to give him that.
I realize as he moans my name while I kiss up his inner thigh that I want to give him everything.
My fingers tickle along the same pathway my mouth did, and I roll my eyes to look up the length of his body.
“You don’t have to…” He trails off as I press his legs up, giving me access to his ass.
Maybe I haven’t been with a man before, but I have been doing research…
and honestly, since I saw this particular thing, I’ve been dying to try it with Calvin.
During our texting, we’d already flirted around the fact that we’d both been celibate long enough that there was nothing to worry about…
So I don’t hesitate when I dive forward, greedy when I lave across Calvin’s hole. He tastes warm, like soap and skin and something hotter, and the sound he makes when I slide my tongue against his entrance is enough to convince me that this is exactly what he needed after all.
Talking is overrated.
Everything but the way Calvin moans when I circle around his rim and bite his ass gently before diving in and licking him again is overrated.
“Atlas, fuck,” he moans. “That feels so good. If you keep doing that, this is going to be over way too fast.” He sounds nearly desperate when he says it, like he’s not sure if that’s a good or bad thing.
I grin against his skin, carefully running my tongue against his hole again for another moment before leaning up enough to catch his eyes.
“There’s something else I haven’t told you about me, Calvin.”
He’s already too strung out on what I’m doing to muster up a completely suspicious expression. “What?”
“I’m insatiable. Now that I have you here, once was never going to be enough.
” I drag blunt nails along his thigh and gently press against the sensitive skin between his slicked hole and his balls.
He arches, and I sigh in appreciation at how gorgeous he is.
“I want you to come until you’re falling apart. ”
“God, Atlas.” He chokes on my name when I dip down again.
This time, it’s not a tease. I lick and lap, working the tip of my tongue until I feel the squeeze of his opening around me.
I feast like he’s the first meal I’ve ever tasted, the only wish of a starving man.
I devour him because he’s perfect, and he was made to be worshipped just like this.
He was made for me.
I lick him until he’s squirming beneath me, until I can hear the rapidfire sound of his breathing, and the feel of his pulse pounding beneath my grip on his inner thigh signals an SOS that lets me know he’s about to let go.
Fuck, I want it. I’m not sure if I’ve ever wanted anything as much as I want to see him fly apart.
Maybe I’m desperate too—maybe he’s not the only one who needs to get lost. My past is coming back to haunt me, my demons nipping at my heels…
and all I can think is that I need to make sure Calvin knows he’s mine, that he can’t leave.
That he can’t let something take him away.
My fingers dig into his skin and I lift one hand, wrapping it greedily around his weeping cock.
He’s already so slick with precum, and when I stroke him and stiffen my tongue, driving it inside him, I feel him tense.
I feel his hole flutter around me and then clench tight as his cock swells and pulses.
The hot spatter of cum against my palm is second to the sounds he’s making.
I’m lost in the feel of his body clenching and his fingers diving down to thread through my hair, tugging the strands so he can grind his ass against my face in a desperate dance to chase the edges of his orgasm.
When I finally lean up, it’s only enough to lick along the length of his cock, to take him into my mouth so I can taste him, salty and perfect and everything I never knew I needed until this moment.
“F-fuck,” he moans, his fingers still in my hair. Calvin looks perfect fucked out. He looks even better when his eyes widen as I lean up long enough to grab a bottle of lube from my bedside drawer. “Atlas?”
“I told you…” I don’t even look when I drizzle the lube onto my hand and slide it between his legs, too greedy for the sight of him.
He’s already loose from my tongue, loose from his orgasm.
It’s easy to slide one finger into him so I can watch his lips part and his eyes roll back.
“We’re not finished, sweetheart.” I lean down and kiss him as I work inside him and stroke until he cries out.
“I’m just getting started. By the time I’m finished, the only word you’re going to know is my name. ”