Chapter 13
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
ATLAS
What did you do?
The question echoes in my head, playing on repeat with the tempo of my heart. Calvin was perfect—fuck, everything about what had just happened was perfect. All I want is to keep him in bed forever and see how many times I can take him apart before he faints.
And yet… we’re being honest now. The last of what I was hiding is the only thing standing between me and what I think could be something life changing.
So I do the only thing I can do… I take a deep breath and blow it out, then look at Calvin and tell him the thing I barely talk about—the thing I carefully avoided when we were speaking before.
“When I was young… I knew a man named Keegan. We worked in the same sphere, competed for the same… jobs…” I watch him carefully as I speak, because he knows what jobs means now.
“It was fine. Friendly competition, really… until I fell for one of his targets.” My mind drifts.
I can remember what Julia looked like the day I saw her.
And I remember the way I turned around and killed the asshole who’d put a hit on her.
Apparently she’d turned down his son, and he was powerful enough and arrogant enough to think that was a good reason to kill her.
Maybe I had some scruples when it came to the jobs I took, but most people didn’t if the money paid well enough.
I’d never realized that would be enough to set Keegan off—I didn’t know the man I’d killed mattered to him.
“That’s how you met your wife?”
“Yeah.” I drop my gaze finally, looking at the rumpled, messy sheets.
“She knew what kind of man I was, but we never really talked about it. We were good for years, and I kept on working. After that, though, things with Keegan changed. It wasn’t a friendly rivalry.
It was… mean. Until one day, he decided he needed to finish the job I’d kept him from all those years ago. ”
“Atlas…” Calvin’s voice is so soft now, and I’m actually not sure how I feel about the sympathy. I’ve barely spoken to anyone about it. North knows what happened to Julia, and Wylder remembers the crash. He was there. Keegan had tried to kill them both.
“He made it look like a car accident, but he killed her and left Wylder for dead. He was so little… but old enough that he remembers what it was like to watch his mom die, what it was like to be thirsty and hungry and alone, trapped in a car with a corpse.” I finally glance back up at Calvin, and I can see the pain, the horror… the sympathy in his eyes.
And I lean into it when he lifts his hand and gently scrapes his fingers through my beard before cupping my cheek. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s been a long time. But I’ve spent years tracking him down, years killing his men.
He’s clever, slippery. Rich. I just didn’t realize he was rich enough to reach into prisons.
” I look up at Calvin finally, waiting to see what he’ll say once what I’m telling him clicks.
“I didn’t know he’d go after you… Calvin…
” I lift my hand, holding his palm against my face.
“I would never knowingly have put you in danger. I’m so sorry. ”
There’s a beat, silence. It seems to carry the weight of every secret I’ve ever had, of every moment between the day I met Julia and the day I lost her, all the pieces of revenge I put into place between now and then…
and then Calvin leans in and presses his lips to mine in a kiss tender enough to shatter every wall I’ve ever held, every bit of defense I might have had.
The vaguest thoughts of pushing him away to keep him safe scatter to the wind like dust.
“So, what’s the plan?”
“Calvin, I—”
He presses his lips to mine again to shut me up, and I’m finally quiet when he pulls back. “We’re in this. Together.” When he looks up at me, his eyes are so deep, gorgeous. Endless, like the night sky. “We are together, right?”
Fuck.
Fuck.
“Yeah, sweetheart, we’re together.”
I don’t deserve Calvin. I don’t deserve the way he’s gentle when he pulls me out of bed, or the way he helps me change the sheets. And I certainly don’t deserve the way he drags me into the kitchen after and starts a pot of coffee.
He comes up behind me as I’m getting down the cups and wraps his arms around my waist. When the gentle press of his forehead nuzzles between my shoulder blades, I finally speak. “You can be mad at me, you know. I caused this. I…”
“It sounds to me like some asshole named Keegan caused this. All you did was ignore me when I told you I wasn’t interested, Mr. Sinclair.
” He presses a kiss against my back when he says it, then pulls away.
“This isn’t your fault. It isn’t mine. It’s theirs.
” When I turn to look at him, he’s so fierce, so strong.
So fucking brave. “I’m not going to regret finding someone I want to be with because of the actions of others.
Mitchell took so many things from me already, he doesn’t get you too. ”
I…
Shit. I might be just a little in love. Calvin knows my deepest, darkest secrets. He knows there are two dangerous men after him… and he’s pouring me a cup of coffee while telling me he doesn’t regret that we met.
I…
“I don’t regret you either, Calvin. And I’m going to keep you safe.
” I take my coffee and speak before he can.
“We’re going to keep each other safe.” That seems to please him, because he settles down at the table and lets me make him a cup too.
We’re quiet for a moment before I finally shift my eyes to the folder where I slid the pictures out of sight.
“Though you do realize I’m not going to be able to let you go to work alone, right? ”
“You can’t just follow me around at the hospital, Atlas.” And before I can even say it, he smirks. “And you can’t keep getting hurt so I have to take care of you.”
I have no idea how he knew what I was going to suggest, but I shrug. “I can keep my distance, but I’m going to be nearby in case something happens.”
He seems to consider it for a moment, then nods.
“Okay. As long as you aren’t following me around where people will notice.
And if something does happen or you notice someone, you come tell me.
” Calvin squeezes my fingers and I stare at our joined hands in near reverence. “We’ll handle it together.”
Together.
I’m really loving that word, even though I don’t know if he understands how I’m going to handle this.
“Calvin.” I glance up at him, and from the expression on his face I can tell he knows what I’m going to say next. “You know I’m not going to just turn them over to the police, right?”
Now that I know what kind of man his ex-husband is, the way he’s threatened him, there’s no way he’s getting out of this alive.
And I’m done letting Keegan breathe. He said I let him get away after Julia, but the truth was, I was so caught up in Wylder’s trauma and figuring out how to take care of a lost little five-year-old North that I couldn’t focus on it.
By the time I did, he was already gone, hidden like a coward.
Calvin levels me with a steady look, and I can almost watch him work through what I’m saying. I told him who I was—I told him what I did. It’s not hard to realize what I mean when I say I’m not giving them to the police.
“I understand. I mean, I don’t know if I completely understand… but I get that you can’t handle this the same way another person would.”
He’s not trying to talk me out of it; he’s not trying to tell me I have to change and be someone I’m not.
He just… understands.
I feel breathless when I look at him. “How did I get lucky enough to find you?”
Calvin smiles then. Soft. A little shy, a little teasing. “Well, your son decided to fall in love with my patient, and then you kept showing up at the hospital. So…”
I laugh abruptly, and it feels so good. Being here with him feels good—even though things are dangerous all around us, even though the ghosts from our pasts are trying to take us both to the grave…
Calvin feels good.
“I guess I did. But can you blame me?” I arch a brow. “There was this gorgeous nurse who I couldn’t stop thinking about.”
“Flattery will get you everywhere, Mr. Sinclair.”
As much as I tell him to call me Atlas, the way he draws out my last name in that sweet, teasing tone is really starting to grow on me.
“As long as it keeps you here, I’ll take it.”
Calvin’s expression shifts from teasing to warm. “That’s not the only thing that will keep me here.”
I lean across the table and press my lips to his without warning.
He tastes like coffee and sweet warmth beneath that, and he opens his mouth so I can run my tongue along his lower lip before delving deeper.
The low sound that spills from him is a mixture of a moan and whimper, and I wonder if he’s had enough time to recover so I can drag him back to the bedroom.
We can plan how to keep each other safe later.
Right now, I stand, pulling him with me and groaning when he melts flush against my chest.
Yeah, planning later. Right now, I—
“Uh… hey, Dad.”
My head jerks up at the sound of the door opening—and I’m met with the sight of a wide-eyed North. Standing beside him, Ranen looks between Calvin and me with the most delighted expression I’ve ever seen written across his face.