Chapter 15
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
ATLAS
North has the decency to wait until I close the door before he turns to look at me.
I expect him to say something—anything. To ask me about Calvin, or the fact that Calvin is a man.
I know he doesn’t much remember his mother, but wanting me to be happy and seeing me with someone else might be two different things.
That paired with the fact that he told me he was here to discuss the bodies I’d left him to clean up…
Well…
“We were coming over for dinner,” he finally says, and his blue-green eyes are unreadable. “You know. Like we do every month.”
Shit. That’s right. Judging by the tilt of his head, the fact that I forgot is written clearly on my face.
“Shit, I’m sorry, North.”
That blank expression finally breaks into the slightest flicker of a smile. His eyes dart to the door for a moment before he turns back to me. “I didn’t know you liked men.”
I shrug. “Honestly, I didn’t either.” I pause on the words, and the way he’s looking at me tells me he needs more than that.
“I fell in love with your mother because of the way she smiled, the way she talked. And I—” Hm.
Love is too strong a word to use just yet.
“I think I felt that same spark when I saw Calvin at the hospital.”
He’s still scrutinizing me, but there’s real curiosity behind his gaze. “So you’re willing to confess that you’re a killer to anyone as long as they have a pretty smile?”
I shrug helplessly. “I guess I just like people.”
That silent curiosity hangs between us for another few seconds before he finally speaks.
“I wanted to tell you that the man you left on the lawn wasn’t completely dead when I got there.
I handled it, and I ended up burying him in the woods once I got them back here.
They wouldn’t both fit in the incinerator. ”
Wow.
“Just like that, huh?”
“I want you to be happy, Dad. I don’t care who it’s with as long as you trust them enough to keep what we do to themselves.” After a pause, he adds, “Does Wylder know?”
I nod, and blow out a breath. “Honestly, North. There’s more to it than just Calvin. We have a problem.” I’d never finished that text I was sending him—it was still a damn draft on my phone.
The curiosity on his face ignites into something different, morphing from a trickle to a blaze at the seriousness in my tone.
This is the difference between North and me.
I killed because I was good at it, because it didn’t bother me, because it paid well.
North kills because he wants to—needs to—and he can smell blood in the water from my few simple words.
For the first time, I wonder how much easier things would be if I’d let my sons loose on the monster who’d killed their mother all those years ago.
And for the first time, I realize I’m going to find out.
I can’t hunt down Keegan and protect Calvin from his ex-husband on my own, and as much as he says we’re in this together…
I don’t know if he understands exactly what kind of man Keegan is.
How could he?
North tilts his head and fixes me with those sharp eyes again. “Who do you need me to kill?”
By the time we come back inside, I’ve told North everything—about Calvin, about his husband, about Keegan and the threats. He was already all in after I mentioned Mitchell. Apparently anyone who helped Ranen has earned a “kill someone for free pass” from North.
When it came to Keegan, his expression grew more serious, and that fire in his eyes turned to something molten.
“Of course I’ll help you kill him.”
The answer was quiet. Soft.
Sure.
Maybe I hadn’t been fair keeping this from him for so long, but he doesn’t seem angry about it. There’s just a soft anticipation brewing beneath his skin, something barely contained that I can see pressing against the surface. Something that Ranen notices the second we step inside.
He and Calvin are sitting at the table smiling and laughing together, and I can smell something cooking in the oven.
“I hope you don’t mind. I know you keep meals in the freezer, and I…” Ranen trails off, his gaze flicking between North and me before settling back on my son. “What’s wrong?”
Shit.
Apparently this is about to become a family affair. The only problem is, I’m not sure if Calvin really signed up to be in this kind of family. It’s one thing that he’d decided to accept the truth that I told him. But being part of all of this?
“He probably told him about what’s going on.” Calvin’s voice is soft when he answers for me, and I give a sharp nod.
“Oh… yeah, it’s terrible.” Ranen frowns and then slips across the room.
North opens his arm, pulling him against his chest. The smaller man practically melts, and for the first time, looking at the two of them doesn’t send a pang through my chest…
because Calvin’s right there, sliding one arm around my waist and leaning against me.
“We’re going to make sure Dad can keep his new boyfriend safe.”
Calvin lets out the softest noise at the word boyfriend, but he still stands straight and steady beside me. “We’re keeping each other safe.”
North arches a brow, but Ranen catches him in the ribs with his elbow before he can open his mouth. “That’s what you do for people you care about. We’ll help.”
“Absolutely not.” North cuts him off. “You can stay at home. Safe. Behind a locked door.” North’s brows dip, and I catch the way he’s looking at Ranen—like he’s his entire world. Like he doesn’t know what he’d do if he lost him.
Like he really realizes that he could, because Keegan is the kind of man who’s taken something away from him before.
“I can help,” Ranen says, then keeps going before North can interrupt him again. “From home. With the computer. Research, right? Keeping Calvin company while you and Atlas… I don’t know… sharpen your knives?”
North laughs at that, dipping his head to steal a quick kiss from Ranen. “Sure, baby. You can help from a computer. Behind a locked door.”
It’s different with them, I realize. Calvin had made it clear from the second he decided he was all in that we were doing this together or not at all…
And I was okay with that. It felt good knowing he wanted to take care of me just as much as I wanted to take care of him.
“Anyway, knives are messy,” I added on, sliding my eyes to Calvin with a small grin.
“If you end up in my ER with another knife wound, Mr. Sinclair, you’re going to have more than a killer to worry about.”
Ranen lets out a soft laugh and even North smirks at the abashed expression on my face… and I realize…
Shit.
Having Calvin here with my family, having him joke about a secret I thought so dark that he’d never speak to me again once I told him…
It feels good. It feels like he belongs here.
And for the first time in years… I feel…
Whole.
It’s a few hours later when North and Ranen have left.
Calvin quietly helped me wash the dishes from dinner after they were gone.
We didn’t talk about it much, but we did make plans.
North was going to be around more—Ranen seemed delighted at the prospect of getting to spend time with Calvin.
He’d help me try to track down Keegan, and if we couldn’t manage it, we’d call in Wylder.
I didn’t want to worry Wylder… and honestly, I knew he had more reason for revenge than his brother. He’d been there. What had happened to Julia had shaped him into the man he was.
Maybe it wasn’t fair, but I wanted to spare him revisiting the pain that I knew still echoed somewhere in his chest. He didn’t say it, but getting close to people… even me, even his brother…
It was hard for him.
Maybe once Keegan was gone, he’d finally feel closure for that. Maybe he’d learn how to open up too.
For now, though, we have a simple plan—I watch Calvin while he’s at work, and North will see what he can dig up in the meantime.
We’ll meet up in a few days to see what we’ve found out and go from there.
The main point I’d driven home was that if there was ever a time that I couldn’t watch Calvin, North would.
And something in my chest had melted when he turned to me with his arms crossed over his chest and his eyes narrowed, insisting that I was never alone either.
“So…” I hedge, my voice soft as he wipes the counter of my kitchen down like he’s been here all along.
“Since you’re pretty insistent on making sure you keep an eye on me.
” He throws me a dirty look, but my smile seems to melt it.
“How do you feel about staying the night? We can go back to your place if you’d like that better, but…
” I step closer to him, slipping one arm around his waist and feeling something in my chest settle at the easy way he steps into me, bringing one hand up to press over the steady thrum of my heart.
“My bed is bigger, and I’m pretty sure you aren’t going to let me out of your sight. ”
“You can’t just kidnap me, Atlas.”
“I mean, I could move in with you instead. It worked for North.”
“I…” He pauses, shaking his head. “No, not touching that one. What I meant was…” He leans up on tiptoes and presses a soft kiss to the corner of my mouth. “I’m eventually going to need things from my apartment.”
Not no, not I need space. Just logic. Soft, sweet logic that makes me lean down to nuzzle his neck. “We can pack you a bag… maybe a few boxes.”
He laughs at that, brushing his mouth back and forth against mine long enough to draw shivers from me before he steps back. “You’re really going to just sit around at the hospital all day?”
“I’ll bring my laptop. I can do some paperwork for the business.
” I pull him closer when he tries to step away, and the soft laugh and squirm I get when I dip down to nuzzle his neck again trails along my ribcage in a sweet tempo of a song I thought I’d forgotten.
“I’ll distract myself by watching this hot nurse I know work.
Maybe I’ve always had fantasies about sex in a hospital. ”
He laughs again, but when he pulls back, his expression is softer. More serious.
“We’re going to get through this, Atlas.” Calvin sounds so determined.
I nod. “We are. And when we’re on the other side, I’m going to keep making excuses to come see you at work. I hope that’s okay with you.”
His eyes are warm when he looks at me, but he nods. “Yeah, I think I’d like that.”
I have no idea how my confession and the danger hanging between us has somehow made me feel even closer to him, but it’s there.
Maybe it’s because I know now that he wants to be here, that he wants to protect me as much as I want to keep him.
Maybe it’s the way his eyes are warm when he links our fingers together and leads me back to my bedroom.
Or maybe it’s just Calvin. Maybe it’s always been Calvin, and no matter what the circumstances were—danger or daisies—it was always going to be this. His hand in mine, my lips finding his as we curl under the covers… and the certainty that this was exactly where I’m supposed to be.