Chapter 26
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
CALVIN
Two things happened tonight that I never thought would: I killed my husband and I expressed my love to another man. One that snuck his way into my heart and took up residence like he owned it.
Well, he kinda did.
Atlas is so fucking perfect for me, it’s almost unreal. How did I get so lucky to find someone who matches me so well?
His strong arms enfold me, holding me tight as I do the same to him, breathing him in, taking some of his strength for my own.
I might not be sad about killing Mitchell, but I did take a life.
And it wasn’t exactly in self-defense. Atlas and I had him dead to rights, so we could have called the cops to have him rearrested.
I chose to kill Mitchell—for how he ruined my life, how he terrified me for years, for killing my best friend.
He deserved that bullet, and the ones Atlas filled him with after.
But I killed someone. That’s not something I’ll be able to get over for a while, no matter how much he deserved it.
Atlas will make it better, though. He won’t let me wallow in the killing. Mitchell was a bad person, and sometimes bad people deserve to die.
I’m not sure how long Atlas and I stand there, wrapped up in each other, but it’s long enough for North to exit the building, a bag over his shoulder and blood all down his front.
And a wide smile on his face. “I’m getting used to helping you out, Dad. You’re becoming more fun in your old age.”
“Hey!” both Atlas and I say, and I giggle, feeling giddy with all kinds of emotions I can’t name. I rest my forehead against Atlas’s pecs, trying to get the chuckles to die down, but it’s useless.
Laughter bubbles up and I cover my face, feeling embarrassed as fuck, but unable to cut it off.
It’s only after Atlas murmurs sweet words of comfort to me that I realize I’m crying, hard, noisy sobs leaving my throat.
It’s all coming to crash down on me—Shameka being dead, coming face-to-face with Mitchell, getting into a fight with him, cutting his face, and ultimately taking his life.
It’s a lot. A lot to happen in one night, so fast I can barely wrap my head around it.
Through it all, Atlas holds me close, kissing the top of my head and rubbing my back. His comfort means everything to me and it helps me realize that I’m no longer alone. I have family, people who will help me get through tonight.
And I’ll be stronger for it.
When my tears have dried, I lift my face from Atlas’s strong chest and look up at him. He thumbs away my tears and smiles gently. “It’ll all be okay. I promise. You cry as much as you want.”
“You’re going soft. You never let us cry after a kill,” North says, leaning against his truck.
Atlas gives him a deadpan look. “You didn’t feel after a kill, North. Stop trying to make shit about you.”
North shrugs, but I see the smile etched across his face. “Still…” He pushes off the truck and says, “Go on and get out of here. I got the rest.”
“But—” I try to say I’ll help, but Atlas threads his fingers through mine.
“He’s got it, sweetheart.” To North, Atlas says, “Thanks, son.”
“Yeah, yeah. Go take care of your man. The normies can’t handle what we do.”
I’m not sure I like being called a normie, but I don’t want to see how North disposes of my ex. I’m already traumatized enough.
Atlas drapes his arm around my shoulder and leads me back to his car.
When we get home, Atlas undresses both of us and we climb into the shower. The warm water cascades down my body, bringing some feeling back into my cold limbs.
Am I supposed to feel like this? Both detached and tethered to the world? Floaty and heavy? It’s a mind fuck, for sure, but Atlas’s strong arms around me make it better.
He tips my chin up to look him in the eye and I swear I melt under his gaze. His eyes are filled with so much love, it’s a wonder I missed it before. This is how Atlas always looked at me, with so much warmth, so much care. He’s shown me he’s loved me since… since our coffee shop date.
Is that possible? Maybe I was too exhausted then to really track, but it feels the same.
“You’re going to be okay, Calvin. I’ll take care of you. I promise.”
“I know,” I answer honestly. “You always do.”
“Head too full?”
I nod, biting my bottom lip. “I can’t think about anything but… what I did. It was… it was awful and I just want to forget. Make me forget, please?”
Atlas smiles, then takes my lips in a kiss so soft that it makes my knees weak. His rough hands trail down my body, touching me and making me feel things I never thought I would.
Love radiates from his touch, from his kiss, from every fiber of his being. How did I miss that he felt the same way about me as I feel for him?
I planned to tell him as soon as all this was over. I was tired of holding it in, tired of pretending that my feelings were only growing instead of already being there.
I want to have Atlas in bed, want to have him over me, his lips all over my body, but I can’t think right now. My mind is cluttered and I need him to make me forget. We can make love later. Right now, I need out of my head. I need to focus on something that’s not what I went through tonight.
Atlas plants his feet, then scoops me into his arms, pasting my back against the shower wall. It’s cold, a sharp contrast from how hot I feel wrapped around him. His lips are scorching when they meet mine, devouring me, taking away all my pain and fears and insecurities with just one kiss.
His strong arms hold me up, keeping me close so I feel safe. Making me feel like what I did tonight wasn’t wrong, that taking a life isn’t the worst thing I could have done.
The more he kisses me, the emptier my head becomes. The more attached I am to him, the more my heart grows and almost explodes with all the love I feel for him.
“Atlas,” I breathe when he breaks the kiss, his lips trailing down my neck. “Please, more. I need you.”
“You have me, Calvin.” He gets a firmer grip on my ass, spreading my cheeks apart so he can nestle his dick between my crease.
I cry out when his cockhead hits my rim, but he doesn’t try to slide inside.
He just ruts against me, his hard cock brushing against my hole, sending bolts of pleasure through me so strong that I almost come right then.
I wrap my arms tighter around his neck, begging for his lips again. He tastes so good and I just want to feel. No thinking, no reminiscing, no regrets, just feeling Atlas and how good he treats my body.
He kisses all over my face as he drives against me, my shaft rubbing along his abs. My head lolls back against the tiles, soft moans leaving me as I absorb all of the ecstasy he’s giving me.
Atlas’s lips go back to my neck, sucking marks into my flesh, the bite of pain intense, bordering on overwhelming.
His hands dig into the meat of my ass, his thrusts getting faster and more clumsy. But I’m not afraid he’ll drop me—I know Atlas will always have a firm grip on me, he’ll always keep a hold of me whether it’s physically, emotionally, or mentally. He won’t let me slip.
“Touch your dick, Calvin,” he grunts, biting down on the juncture of my neck and shoulder. “Let me watch you fall apart—I want to come knowing how good I make you feel.”
Goddamn, why is that so fucking hot?
Untangling one of my arms from around his neck, I slide it between us and grip my dick, stroking myself slowly.
Atlas looks down between us, his eyes locked on my hand.
“Like that.” His voice is fucking gravel as he continues to fuck my crease, the sensitive nerves of my pucker sending tingles all over my body.
“Faster, Calvin. Tighten your hand. Perfect. Just like that. I can’t wait to be inside you again.
” He meets my eyes, lust pouring out of him.
“Can’t wait until you’re under me, writhing while I pull back-to-back orgasms out of you. ”
I cry out as pleasure licks down my spine. “Please. I want it.”
“You’ll get it, sweetheart. Soon. Right now, fuck, I need to make you come.” He rests his head on my shoulder, his warm breath drifting down to my oversensitive cockhead. “I love you, Calvin. Love you so fucking much.”
A fucking keen leaves my lips as I come hard, my release spraying out of me in waves. A full-body shudder takes over me as I keep shooting, my cum splashing on my hand.
Letting go of my shaft, I raise my hand to Atlas’s mouth and he sucks my fingers greedily as he stiffens, his release painting my ass cheeks.
Atlas lets me down—though he hasn’t finished sucking on my fingers—and I put my weight on my shaky legs. His tongue glides through the spaces between my digits, licking them clean.
The water has run cold, and now that we’re out of the heat of our passion, I shiver in his arms.
Atlas smiles at me, his gaze still heated. “Let me get you out of here. Then I’ll hold you until you feel better.” He shuts the water off.
“I feel better now,” I whisper, kissing the underside of his chin.
“You’ll feel a lot better once I have you laid out on my bed, my dick so far in you that you’ll think it’s permanently attached to your hole.”
Another shiver rolls through me. Fuck yes, that’s exactly what I need.
With a towel wrapped around my waist, I run into the bedroom and lie on the bed, spreading my legs so Atlas can do exactly what he said he’d do.
I won’t think about anything for the next few hours.