5. Ranen
Chapter 5
Ranen
I ’m not sure how long I was in my medication-induced slumber, but I wake up in less pain than I fell asleep with. I’m not sure whether it’s because I’m doped up on whatever the nurse put in my IV or just that my injuries aren’t as bad as I thought.
I open my heavy eyelids and stare up at the ceiling, trying to gather my bearings. Fuck, I can’t believe someone attacked me in my own apartment. I can’t even imagine who it could be. It could be anyone. Since I have a public site, someone smart enough could have traced my location.
I quickly discount that idea. I invested in one of those VPN sites I kept seeing sponsored on YouTube before I started camming for that very reason. I didn’t want to be vulnerable to someone knowing where I lived.
But that didn’t stop some maniac from breaking in and beating the shit out of me. I don’t know if I’ll ever feel safe in my home again.
I turn my head slightly to look out the window, wondering what I’ll do about a place to live. I have money saved for a rainy day; I could use that to break my lease and move somewhere safe—well, safer , and without a creepy landlord.
A soft knock sounds at the door and I look over to see the handsome nurse from earlier. “Hey. Time for your—” His eyes dart over to my right side where North is sitting, then he rushes over to put himself between me and the chair—where there’s a man sitting who is definitely not North. “Who are you and how did you get in here?”
I scramble up, pressing my back to the railing on the side of the bed. I hiss in pain at my agitated injuries, but I don’t know who this guy is. How did he get in here? What does he want? Is he the man who attacked me? Did he come back to finish the job?
The man rises to his feet and drags his eyes up and down my nurse. “I’m Atlas. My boy called me and asked me to sit with his… friend.” He glances at me, his eyes roaming over my face. I don’t know what he’s looking for, but I try not to shrink under his scrutiny.
My nurse—I think he said his name was Calvin—doesn’t seem the least bit mollified by his explanation. “And he knew visiting hours were over before he called, right?” I like him. He’s not taking any shit and I really appreciate that.
The stranger— Atlas— meets my nurse’s eyes again, a small smile tipping up his full lips. “Yeah, he knew. But he doesn’t want to leave him alone. You see the state of him, right?” I wince in embarrassment, but Atlas just casts me a quick glance before looking back at my nurse. “He’s just worried. Look, I won’t cause any trouble. I just want to sit here and make sure no one comes in here and fu—messes with him. Is that okay?”
Calvin stares the man down for another few moments, then looks back at me. “You want him to go?”
I stare into Calvin’s dark eyes, hoping to read what I should do in them, but the decision is all on me.
Swallowing past my tight throat and hoping I’m not making the wrong decision, I whisper, “He can stay.”
Calvin tears his eyes from mine to look at Atlas. “Don’t upset my patient. You sit here and you don’t start shit. Understand?”
Atlas grins, giving Calvin that once-over again. “I understand. You run a tight ship around here…”
“Calvin. Calvin Hayes. And yes I do.” He turns back to me, checking me over visually before looking at the machines at my back. “How are you feeling? Rate your pain on a scale from one through ten.”
I sit for a moment and analyze my body. “Maybe a three?” He gives me a look and I smile softly, ducking my eyes. “A six.”
He sighs, taking my hand in a sweet gesture. “You have to be honest with me, Ranen. If you’re in pain, I need to know. I can’t help you if you lie to me.”
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
He waves me off. “It happens all the time. I was coming to give you more pain meds.”
“No,” I say quickly. “They make me loopy. I’m in pain, but it’s manageable. As long as I don’t move too much, I’m fine.”
Calvin looks down at me with soft eyes. “Your body would benefit from rest, but I can’t make you take the meds.” He hands me the remote that’s attached to the bed by a thick gray cord. “Press the nurse’s call button if the pain worsens.”
“Thank you, Mr. Hayes,” I murmur, getting comfortable on the bed, hiding my wince.
“Call me Calvin.”
From behind him, Atlas asks, “Can I call you Calvin too?”
With a soft grin and a blush high on his chestnut brown cheeks, the hot nurse turns to Atlas and says, “You won’t be here long enough to call me anything. Good night, Ranen.”
He slips out of the room, and I turn to Atlas to see him following Calvin out with his gaze. I don’t miss the sway of Calvin’s hips that wasn’t there earlier.
When Atlas finally drags his eyes away to meet mine, he smiles, completely unashamed to be caught staring. “You look a little worse for wear.”
I nod carefully. “Who are you? And who is your boy? Like some Daddy-boy thing?”
He barks a laugh, though his eyes don’t shine with mirth. “No, my boy, as in my son. My actual, blood-related son. Nothing more. He asked me to watch over you while he was out handling some business.”
“North is your son?” There’s no way. Atlas is . . .well, he’s a fucking snack. He can’t be older than forty, with this smooth tanned skin, sharp gray eyes, straight nose, and full lips. How could he be North’s father?
“How old are you?” I blurt out, finding it hard to pin down his age.
He grins, making him look even younger—closer to North’s older brother than his dad. “I’m fifty. I was a young dad.” He shrugs, sinking lower in the chair. “How do you know North?”
“I don’t,” I answer honestly. “He heard I was in trouble and came to help.” Atlas nods, but I sense I may have said something I shouldn’t have. “If it weren’t for him, I’m not sure I would have been found.”
“Why did someone hurt you, kid?”
“I’m not a kid,” I say defiantly. “I’m twenty-two.”
“Compared to me, you’re a kid. You have enemies?”
I shake my head. “Not that I know of. I don’t really talk to people enough to gain enemies.”
Atlas nods, lacing his fingers and resting them on his belly. His well-toned belly. There’s no way this guy is fifty. Early thirties, yes. But fifty? I can’t see it. “You should get some rest. Maybe get some of those meds from that pretty nurse.” My eyebrow twitches, but Atlas doesn’t seem to care. “He said they would help.” I continue to stare at him and he sighs. “I won’t hurt you, kid. I don’t think my son would like that too much. You’re safe.”
I’m not sure why his words set me at ease, but they do. I take his advice and press the button to alert Calvin I want meds. My pain has gone up from a six to a nine. Everything is throbbing and my vision flashes white from the pain.
After Calvin comes back in—much to Atlas’s delight if his grin is anything to go by—he puts meds into my IV that I feel almost immediately. He helps me settle more comfortably on the bed and I sigh, feeling the pain ease from my body. “Thank you,” I say as exhaustion blankets me.
The sun streaming through the windows wakes me a few hours later. I immediately look to the chair beside the bed and can’t help but to smile. North’s eyes bounce around my face as if checking me over. “Good morning.”
North leans forward, taking my chin in his hands and moving my face to the side. My skin burns where he touches me, and I fight to contain the shiver. After he’s taken a good look, he releases his hold. “How did you sleep?”
“Good,” I answer, my voice sounding breathy. “Until your father scared the shit out of me.”
He shoots me a crooked smile. “Did he bother you?”
“No. Thank you. For asking him to stay.” I blow out a shaky breath. “I didn’t want to admit how scared I was about being here alone. I don’t know how I’m going to function, staying by myself. Maybe I’ll take Olly up on his offer.”
For a moment, I think North’s eyes grow stormy, but it’s gone so fast I don’t know whether I saw it at all. “Why not just stay home?”
I open my mouth to answer, but before I can there’s a knock at my door. Another nurse comes in with papers on a clipboard. I wish it were Calvin, so I could thank him for taking care of me and for being a barrier between me and Atlas before he knew it was safe. He could have been hurt if Atlas was a dangerous man, and he was willing to take that risk for me. I’ll have to bring him some flowers or something.
“Hey,” the nurse says, moving the rolling tray table over to the end of the bed. “What’s your pain level?” I answer all her questions and take the paperwork she has in her hands. “These are your discharge papers. If you sign here, you’ll be free to go.”
I sign the paper with a flourish, happy to get out of here, but afraid to go home alone. “Thank you.”
“Take care,” she says and leaves my room.
I throw my legs over the side of the bed and North helps me stand. He lets me lean on him while I shuffle to the bathroom, and waits for me to do my business and brush my teeth with the complimentary toothbrush and toothpaste.
Once I’m done, he helps me put my clothes on and kneels in front of me to help with my shoes. “This is really sweet of you. I really appreciate it.”
North looks up at me with a smile, and I’m not ashamed to say I like how he looks down on his knees in front of me. I shouldn’t be thinking that, since I was attacked yesterday, but I can’t help it. It’s like something inside me has woken up and I’m taking notice.
“You’re welcome,” he says, gripping my hands to pull me to my feet. “Hold on to me. We can take it nice and slow out of here.”
We walk slowly to his car, inching the whole way. I’m still in pain, but it’s more manageable now. I’ll need a few days to rest up, meaning I won’t be able to cam for another week or so.
When I get settled in North’s passenger seat, I reach into my messenger bag that North was smart enough to grab for me and pull out my cell. I log into my banking app and see I have enough money to cover all my bills for at least two months. I’ll have to get back to work soon, but it’s not urgent.
Out of curiosity, I check my cam-site email. And wish I hadn’t.
Though there are some nice messages wishing me a speedy recovery and hoping I feel better—hell, even some with tips attached—there are also a few that are so hateful they make tears brim in my eyes.
“What is it?” North asks, snapping me away from the messages I’m reading. His eyes haven’t left the road, so I’m not sure how he knows something is bothering me.
“Nothing.”
In a quiet voice, North says, “Don’t lie to me, Ranen.”
Sighing, I lean my head against the headrest and close my eyes. “Some assholes from my site.” I clear my throat and look out the window. “I cam.” I pause to see if my words have any effect on him, but all he does is glance at me briefly, so I continue. “Some people said they wished whoever attacked me had finished the job, since I’m such a tease. And I got what I deserved for being a whore.”
A growl percolates up North’s throat. “Who are they?”
I shrug. “Don’t know. I blocked them. I won’t hear from them anymore.” Doesn’t stop the words from hurting. No one deserves what I got just for camming. I’m doing what I want with my body because I choose to. That’s no reason to break into my home and beat me to a pulp.
We pull up to my apartment and my heart hammers in my chest. This was supposed to be my sanctuary, the place I felt the safest, but all I feel now is fear.
North takes my hand, squeezing it gently. “Come on. It’ll be fine. I promise.”
“How do you know?” I whisper, my hand shaking in his grip.
“Because I’m going to keep you safe.” He gives my hand another squeeze, then gets out of the car, rounding the hood to help me out. “Take it slow. Unless you want me to carry you up the stairs?”
“I can manage. Thanks.”
It takes a few minutes for us to climb the stairs, and by the time we get to my door, I’m breathing heavily. Sweat dots my forehead and my ribs burn with every deep breath I take. “I’m going to carry you next time,” North says, leaning me against the wall so I can rest. He stares at me intently. “You don’t have to push yourself. Not while I’m here. Understand?”
“You won’t be here for long, so I’ll have to do what I have to do.” I push off the wall and turn to my door, entering the code. The green light flashes and I push inside. I cry out when I almost trip over bags by the door. North’s strong arm wraps around my waist, pulling me upright. “What the fuck is this? Why are there bags here?”
“They’re mine. I need clothes here since I’m going to watch over you.”
“Watch over me? What…?” I look at the three gym bags on the floor, along with a few pairs of shoes that don’t belong to me. “Are you… Tell me what you’re doing?”
“I’m keeping my promise. I’m going to watch out for you. That means I have to be here with you.”
He wouldn’t have to watch over me if someone hadn’t broken in and beaten me to a pulp.
My breathing comes in short and choppy as more sweat breaks out over my brow and down my back. My watery eyes trail down the hallway to my cam room. The room I was almost killed in.
“Breathe,” North says, his voice sounding far away. His solid hand lands on my back, rubbing in slow circles. “It’s okay, Ranen. Take a deep breath for me.”
With effort, I pull in one deep, painful breath after another, trying to steady my racing heart.
After god knows how long, I have myself under control, my breathing even, and my hands no longer shaking.
“Thank you,” I whisper, wiping my eyes as I look over at North. “Sorry for coming apart like that.”
He shrugs and goes over to the door to flip the lock. “You’re allowed. You experienced something… traumatic. That’s why I’m here.”
“That’s not a good idea.” I almost hate myself for saying it. He just helped me down from a panic attack, and now I feel safe with him standing so near. What if he agrees with me and decides to leave? Then I’ll be alone.
He tilts his head to the side and peers down at me. The gesture is oddly endearing. “Why not?”
“Because I don’t know you.” I wince when I drag in a deep breath. My hands fly to my ribs and I gasp when that light touch sends a jolt of pain through me. “I need to sit down.”
North doesn’t let me take more than two steps before he scoops me up into his arms. I gasp again as he walks me to the couch and sets me down gently. “You may not want to admit it, but you need someone here with you. That someone is me. I already have my things packed, so stop fighting it and let me help.”
“I shouldn’t,” I say, leaning my head back against the pillow and closing my eyes. “You could be a psycho killer or something.”
He’s quiet for a beat, then says, “Even if I were, you wouldn’t be my victim. You’re too sweet for that.”
A tired chuckle drifts up my throat. “I’m not… but thank you.” I crack an eye open and look at his handsome face.
It wouldn’t be so bad having someone who looks like North around. He’s been nothing but kind to me—he saved me, for fuck’s sake—and if he wanted to harm me, he would have done so already. Not like I could fight back, as weak as I am. He’s so much bigger than me. Even if I were at full strength, he’d crush me.
Besides that, he’s offering his help. It’s a little weird that he already had his bags packed, though. A bit presumptuous.
“How did you get into my apartment?” I ask, opening both eyes to look at him now. “Your bags were already here. When did you bring them? Were you already plotting to stay here as my… what? My guardian?”
North slides closer to me and I lean back, pressing my back against the pillow again as he follows me down. My breathing comes out choppy as I stare at him. Is he going to kiss me? God, what would his lips feel like? What would he feel like? I’ve only had one kiss in my entire life. Only one person got that close to me, and that took months. I’ve known North for going on forty-eight hours and I want him to kiss me, to ravage me, to take me in a way I’ve never been taken before.
The attack must be showing me how short life is. While I love my body, touching it and learning it and getting myself off, I rarely feel the desire for anyone else to touch me. But looking at North’s blue-green eyes and his plump mouth, I know I want to explore that other side of me.
North hesitates before taking my hand. “I’m going to watch out for you until you get back on your feet. If that takes a month, two months, or three, I’ll be here. You’ll get sick of me, but I’m not going anywhere.”
I smile, even though I’m disappointed that his lips aren’t on mine. But his touch is more than enough. “I’ll be working. I’m a camboy.” I figure he may not have heard me in the car. “If that makes you uncomfortable—”
He cuts me off, gripping my hand tighter for a moment. “I heard you earlier. I also figured as much when I saw the cameras and you being half naked when I found you. Don’t be ashamed. There’s nothing wrong with it.”
“I know,” I tell him defensively, my feelings still hurt by the comments I got in my email. “I know that.”
“Good. Being here while you work won’t bother me. I want to be here to help, in case someone says something out of line.”
The thought of North watching me jerk off or finger myself in front of a camera lights me up for a reason I can’t explain. I love showing my body and bringing myself pleasure, and I love doing it in front of an audience, but having North as my live audience? It’s so fucking hot, I almost can’t stand it.
But that won’t be for a while yet. I’m black and blue all over and my ribs are killing me. Any kind of self-satisfaction will have to wait until I’m healed.
Blowing out a tired breath, I shoot him a shaky grin. “Okay. Thank you.”
“No problem, Ranen. Now get some rest. I’ll watch over you.” He drops his hand and I miss the warm weight of it. I sit up, wanting to go to my bed but North stops me. “I’ll take you.”
Before I can object, North scoops me into his arms. I don’t even fight it this time; I just sigh and lean my head against his chest. “You’re strong,” I whisper sleepily, my eyes already drooping.
The rumble of his laughter sends a wave of awareness through me, but I’m too exhausted and in pain to do anything about it.
He sets me on the bed and I’m asleep before he drags the blanket over my body.