7. Ranen
Chapter 7
Ranen
I t’s crazy. I know it’s crazy not to ask more questions about exactly why North is in my apartment, but… I don’t know. It feels right. He saved me, after all. He could have finished the job when he found me. Hell, he had ample opportunity in the hospital and when he brought me home. I fell asleep while he was roaming around my place for fuck’s sake. But he didn’t harm me. I found him rummaging around my kitchen, reminding me I need to go on another small shopping trip. Other than coffee, I need a few more things I’ve run out of but haven’t had the time to grab.
I shut my bedroom door so I can get dressed, though North has seen most of my body already. He found me in my underwear, after all.
Shuffling over to my dresser, I pull out a long-sleeved shirt, even though it’s still warm outside. I told him I could manage a drive-thru, but I don’t want anyone to see me like this—the bruises, the busted nose, the split lip, the stitches on my forehead. I don’t want them to think it was North or that I’m in a dangerous relationship.
But I can’t be afraid. I can’t hole up in my apartment, scared of the world because someone creepy is stalking me.
First the bear, then the creepy album, then someone attacking me. I’m not sure who it is, but someone wants me to be afraid. But who? Why? Why are they tormenting me like this?
A frustrated breath escapes my throat as I pull my sleep shirt over my head. My ribs sting and I have to pause for a few seconds until the pain fades. I look at my body in the full-length mirror and hiss. I’m black and blue everywhere, and with my fair skin, the bruises show in sharp relief. I drag gentle fingers over the worst of the contusions. There’s no way I can go back on cam looking like this.
Do I want to? I’m sure whoever this person is found me because I’m a camboy.
I sit on the edge of my bed with my long-sleeved shirt in my hands, looking at nothing. I love my job. I love what I do. It might not be a job you tell Mom about, but it’s mine. Can I continue, though, knowing someone targeted me because of it?
I can’t answer that right now. It’s something I’ll have to think about. Even if I want to, I can’t let anyone see me like this. Maybe in a week, the worst of my bruises will be gone and I can start my twice-weekly videos again. I’ve already missed two weeks and I’ll be missing two more to heal. I might end up losing subs because I’ve become unreliable.
Remembering that North is in the kitchen waiting for me, I pull on some clothes and almost cheer when I find the overly large sunglasses Olly brought back from the Dominican Republic when he went on a sponsored trip. They’ll hide my black eye and the cut above my nose.
Once I’m decent, I step out of the room, spotting North on the couch with his laptop open, his eyebrows dipped. “Everything okay?” I ask. He looks like he’s concentrating on something.
“Yeah,” he says, dragging his eyes away from the computer. When they land on me, his gaze becomes intense, and it’s almost like he freezes as he looks at me.
“What?” I ask, pulling at the sleeves of my shirt. I know it’s warm outside, but he knows what I look like underneath it.
He shakes his head and walks over to me. North pulls my glasses off, his hand hovering in the space between us before thumbing under my black eye. “You shouldn’t have to wear these, but you look good. This is a good color on you.”
I look down at the shirt that almost matches the blue of my eyes, and I smile. “Thanks. My grandpa got it for me.”
“Your grandpa. Does he live nearby?”
A lump forms in my throat. “No. He uh…he’s gone. He died.” Before he can offer condolences, I change the subject. “What were you looking at so intently on your computer?”
North searches my face, probably trying to figure out why I want a sudden change in conversation. I can’t talk about my grandpa. He’s the only person who had my back without wanting anything in return. He’s part of the reason I started camming.
I’d needed money to pay for his nursing home, that coupled as a rehabilitation center. After his dementia diagnosis, I wanted to make sure he was taken care of, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to do it as well as a professional. So I started to cam, getting fast money to pay for his stay. Along the way, I discovered I loved it.
But only a year and a half after his diagnosis, he died. The doctor told me he’d been having a heart attack for days, but since he had dementia, he forgot he hadn’t told anyone. He said it was common among people with dementia and Alzheimer’s.
When I tell anyone about my grandpa, I get fake condolences and platitudes that I don’t really want to hear. And okay, I’m still not over his death, even years later. I don’t want to talk about him. Not right now. I’ll turn into a puddle of tears if I do.
After a few moments of staring, North nods and inclines his head towards his laptop. “I checked through your kitchen. You’re pretty stocked up, but you need milk, coffee, bread, eggs, oatmeal. I’m putting in an order at Super Foods Plus. We can get breakfast and pick the groceries up when we’re finished.”
“Sounds like a plan.” He sits back in front of his laptop and I head into the kitchen. I don’t have coffee, but I have tea, so I put the kettle on and pull a few tea bags out of my cupboard. “You know,” I say, raising my voice so he can hear me. “I went shopping a few weeks ago at Super Foods Plus, just before I heard the report of that cashier being abducted. I wonder if they found him.”
North says, “I heard about that. Sad.”
“It is.” I move the kettle from the eye of the stove when it starts to whistle and make two cups of tea. Then I bring one to North and sit on the couch, and wait for him to finish his grocery order.
After a few minutes of silence, I ask, “What’s your story, North?”
“Right to the questions, hm?” he says, glancing over at me with a grin. “I’m North Sinclair. I’m local to the area. My dad and I work construction here in town, and I have an older brother but he lives out of state.”
“What’s that like? Having a brother?” I’m an only child, so I’m not sure if having a sibling is as much fun as movies and TV shows make it seem.
North looks up from the computer and narrows his eyes. “It’s… complicated. We have a good relationship, but it’s… distant. He chose not to stay in the family business, which I don’t like, but there’s nothing I can do about it.”
“You’re not close?” I ask, wrapping both hands around my tea cup, soaking up all the information North is giving me.
He shrugs, pushes a few buttons on his keyboard, then shuts the laptop. “We’re not not close. We have… a lot in common, but he still chose to put as much distance between us as he could.”
“I’m sorry,” I murmur, though I’m not sure why.
“It’s fine. I have my dad. I think he’s more than enough.”
I laugh, thinking about Atlas. “Your dad is a flirt. He was hitting on my nurse.”
North’s eyebrows jack up to his hairline. “Your nurse was a guy.”
“Yeah, is that a problem?” North didn’t strike me as the homophobic type. Hell, I’m getting serious vibes from him that he might be into me, but I’ve been wrong before.
He gives me a dry look. “No. I’m gay, so why would that be a problem?” I shrug. “Dad’s never been in a serious relationship outside of my mother. I’ve never even known him to look in a man’s direction. It’s a shock, that’s all.” I let out the breath that was trapped in my chest. “Now,” North says, holding his hands out to me. I grab them, allowing him to haul me up. “Let’s go get some food. I’m starving.”
We head out, North opening the car door for me and settling me into the passenger seat. I feel my cheeks heat under his attention and I curse my pale skin, knowing he sees my blush. Thankfully, he doesn’t call me out.
When North gets in the car and starts it up, I turn down the radio and start in on more questions. “How old are you?”
“Twenty-eight.”
“Birthday?”
“October twenty-fifth.”
“Favorite color?”
He looks over at me for a few beats, a smile on his lips. “Blue.”
My cheeks heat again. From the way he looked at me, if I had to guess, that’s his favorite color because of me.
“Do you have a boyfriend?”
He shakes his head. “Wouldn’t be staying with you if I did. I’ve never bothered with relationships.”
I gasp, not really believing it. North is… well, he’s hot as fuck to put it mildly. A fucking Greek god if I want to be dramatic. And from what I know about him from the past few days, he’s protective, kind, and thoughtful. Anyone would be lucky to have him.
“Why?” I ask.
He smiles over at me, but doesn’t answer the question. “Where do you want to eat?”
I point to the restaurant up ahead. I want to push for him to answer, but something tells me he wouldn’t, no matter how hard I tried.
We grab our food, then head over to the grocery store to pick up the order. We talk about lighter topics. I’m itching to ask why he’s never been in a relationship, but I know a closed subject when I see one. Maybe when we get to know each other more, he’ll tell me. It’s nice to have something in common with him, even if he doesn’t know it.
Our groceries are loaded into the trunk of North’s car and he points us in the direction of my apartment. “Do you want to go out for dinner?” he asks. “Or do you want me to cook for you?”
My stomach grumbles just thinking about a home cooked meal, even though I just ate. I can cook well enough, my grandfather having taught me as I was growing up, but it’s always nice when someone else cooks. “Cook for me, please. Thank you.”
“Of course.”
Shortly after, we pull up to my apartment. “Go on up,” North says, putting the car in gear. “I’ll grab the groceries from the back. Can you take my drink upstairs?”
“I can help, you know?” I say, walking to the trunk of the car. “I might be hurting, but I’m capable of taking a few bags upstairs.” A strong hand catches my wrist before I can touch anything.
Turning to me, North stares at where his fingers linger on my skin, and I can’t hide the shiver that shoots down my spine at his touch. “I know you can take care of yourself, Ranen, but you don’t have to while I’m around. You heal, and let me handle the rest.”
My throat goes dry as I get lost in his blue-green eyes. I’m so used to doing everything alone, to being alone, that I think I have to take care of everything on my own. Having North want to do things for me is a novel experience, but I’m not going to tell him no. I have a feeling he’s used to getting his way, and wouldn’t let me help even if I begged.
Releasing a shuddering breath, I nod and say, “Okay.”
“Okay,” North repeats. “Now go upstairs. It’s warm and I don’t want you to overheat with that shirt on.”
I grin as I nod, turning away from him with a pep in my injured step. A smile is etched on my face, and try as I might, I can’t wipe it away.
Until I get close to the stairs leading up to my apartment and Mr. Barlowe comes out of nowhere. I yelp, jumping back so I don’t bump into him, and hiss when my back hits the wall behind me, my ribs screaming in protest.
“Ranen. Are you okay?” he asks, reaching out for me. Unlike North, Mr. Barlowe’s touch is not welcome.
I dodge his hand, shuffling around him. “I’m fine.”
He hums, looking equal parts sad and creepy. “I told you someone was around here, hurting people. I could have stopped that from happening to you.”
“I’m fine,” I mutter, trying to step around him. “I need to get up to my apartment.”
Mr. Barlowe steps in front of me and I sigh, meeting his calculating brown eyes. “The offer still stands. You can come with me and I’ll keep you safe.”
A deep voice sounds behind me, and I sigh in relief. “He’s plenty safe now that I’m staying with him.”
Mr. Barlowe starts, looking from me up to North. North is a few inches taller than him and in much better shape. I watch Mr. Barlowe’s Adam’s apple bob as he swallows roughly.
“Who the hell are you?” Mr. Barlowe asks, trying to put some bass in his voice, though I can tell he’s frightened of North.
“I’m—”
“He’s my boyfriend,” I say quickly, stepping back into North. “I got attacked and he came from states away to take care of me. So I won’t be needing any of your help while he’s here.”
A sense of satisfaction washes over me when I see how Mr. Barlowe’s face drops when I call North my boyfriend. God, he’s so creepy. Old enough to be my dad—hell, old enough to be North’s dad—and trying to hit on me. Some men like that age gap, but I do not.
“Come on, baby,” North says, and a flush blooms over my body at the endearment, even though he doesn’t mean it. “Let’s get you into bed. If you’ll excuse us.” If you’ll excuse us sounded more like get the fuck out of our way . Mr. Barlowe moves quickly, stuttering something about a work order and rushing to his apartment.
“Sorry about that,” I tell North, once we’re in my apartment with the door shut and locked. “He’s so fucking weird. Always hitting on me. I figured that saying you’re my boyfriend would keep him at bay.”
“I don’t mind,” North tells me, putting groceries away. “I liked it, if I’m honest. First time I’ve heard someone say it.”
In a rush, I say, “I’ve never called anyone my boyfriend before.”
A disbelieving look crosses his face. “Really? I would have figured you’ve had plenty of boyfriends.”
I huff. “Is it because I’m a camboy? We’re not whores like people seem to think we are.”
“What?” he asks, raising an eyebrow. “No. You’re handsome, Ranen. I’m assuming plenty of people have asked you out.” He shakes his head like my assumption offended him. “There’s nothing wrong with sex work.”
I sigh, though heat creeps up my cheeks. “I know. I know you didn’t mean anything by it. I’m just… I’m up in my head.” I step into the kitchen and help him unpack the groceries.
“About what?”
“Huh?” I ask, moving the coffee from the cabinet he put it into to the pantry where I usually keep it.
“What are you in your head about?”
“Working again.” I close the pantry door and lean against it. “I want to get back at it, but I’m…” I swallow and touch my face, the throbbing ache making me hiss. “I’m afraid. What if someone tries to hurt me again? What if they threaten me online and run me off the internet?”
“That won’t happen,” North says with so much conviction, I almost believe him.
“How can you be sure?” He’s quiet, but I don’t wait for an answer. “I’ll figure something out. Or I’ll stop working. I don’t want to, but I don’t want to be hurt again because of it.”
North walks over to me, skating his fingers lightly across my jaw before dropping his hands. The gentle caress is so warm, I have to lock my knees so they don’t go weak from this small touch. Why does he make me feel… things when he touches me?
“No one will hurt you again, Ranen. I swear, while I’m here, you’re safe.”
It’s funny, I’ve only known North for a few days, but I trust him.
With my life.