Chapter 4 #2
Three days later, we’re at Walker and Violet’s house, which smells like rosemary and garlic, and the kind of warmth I dream of a home smelling like.
I’ve called around and asked about rentals, and nothing is available.
I’m still looking, and well aware that the clock is ticking.
We have to figure out a plan soon. Lights twinkle outside the frosted-over window across their back patio, music hums from the speakers in the living room, and the whole Bridger Falls crew is gathered around Walker and Violet’s long wooden table.
Owen sits wedged between Cami and Ollie, telling them some ridiculous basketball story with wild hand gestures while he eats garlic bread. His voice is animated, and he looks happy and safe. And, today, that’s good enough for me. Our world is falling apart, but that is what’s getting me by.
“Poppy, you need a refill?” Violet taps my arm, breaking me from my wandering thoughts.
“Sure,” I say. “This was so good, Violet. Just what we needed. It’ll probably put me into a food coma, so I’ll finally sleep tonight.”
She grins and tops me off with the iced tea pitcher.
Everyone’s laughing at something Walker said. Owen’s cheeks are pink from the heat of the fireplace and too many dessert samples. And Ollie… he looks stupidly handsome sitting there, relaxed in a faded shirt that fits his shoulders unfairly well, smiling at me.
Maggie raises a brow at the three of us and says to me quietly. “You know… You two look like a family.”
I snort. “Whatever, Maggie.”
Ollie takes a sip of his soda and says nothing, his eyes meeting mine. I search his face for what he’s thinking, and I can’t tell. Which is hard, because we usually can have full conversations with just our eyes, and this time I don’t know where he’s at with his thoughts.
Jack barks out a laugh. “She’s not wrong.”
Owen beams like someone just handed him a puppy. “We kinda are. Ollie came and rescued me at my school the other day.”
“Does it have anything to do with what happened to your face?” Maggie asks.
“Yeah, he kinda helped me with that,” Owen says.
My heart does an Olympic-level backflip and lands straight into panic. Oh shit. I haven’t told them that story yet.
Ollie grins. “Of course I’m your family, bud.”
“We’re friends,” I say too fast. “He helps because he’s… helpful.”
Ollie gives me a weird look like, “Are you good?”
“Sure,” Violet teases, leaning her chin in her hand. “And when the wedding invitations go out, we’ll all act surprised.”
Ollie smiles widely, saying nothing. I shoot him a look like you’re leaving me hanging over here.
Owen squints as if he’s picturing said wedding. “At least there’d be cake.”
“I could make the cake,” Cami says with a smirk.
I shake my head and give her a look that says, “Stop encouraging this.”
“We’re just doing life,” Ollie says, trying to sound casual, but his voice does this little crack at the end that makes me swallow hard. “We’re all here for each other.”
Doing life is what we’re doing. And despite how hard things have been lately, life does feel pretty damn good with Ollie. I don’t know what I’d do without him, and I don’t want to think about that.
Owen tells them what happened with Coach Toddy and how Ollie is his team’s new coach. Cami scowls in my direction, shaking her head. I knew she’d be pissed. We all are. It’s not right, and it’s so disappointing how they let Owen down. I still haven’t decided what I’m going to do about Toddy.
She pats my arm, as if in tune with my thoughts. “We’ll plot Toddy’s punishment later.”
I snort laugh because I can’t wait to see what we all come up with.
Toddy has bullied so many people in town.
He deserves whatever he has coming to him.
I haven’t had time to deal with him because I’ve been packing up our house and trying to figure out more pressing things like where we’ll be living.
We finish dinner, and Mack and Owen head out to the barn to check on the horses. It’s one of Owen’s favorite things to do out here at Walker and Violet’s.
Walker, Jack, and Ollie head into the barn to see the sheep Walker just got. Cami, Violet, and I are sitting at the kitchen island.
Cami looks at me and says, “You know, I think it’s about time Jeremy Toddy gets what’s coming to him, don’t you?”
Violet nods. “Never liked the guy. He’s always rude and arrogant when he comes into The Black Dog.”
“He’s like the tiniest man. The size of a Polly Pocket. I can’t believe he thought he could put his hands on Owen and get away with it,” Cami says, shaking her head. “Now it’s time for Polly Pocket to pay.”
“I don’t disagree,” I chime in, feeling better that they all know now and I can vent about it.
“I don’t know what to do about him, yet,” she says, like she’s mulling over Toddy’s fate. “But this isn’t going unpunished. It’ll come to me.”
“Well, your brother did punch him in the mouth,” I add.
Cami shrugs as if that’s perfectly normal. “Not enough punishment.”
Maggie looks over at us and says, “So, what’s going on with you and Ollie? Things appear to be...heating up.”
I roll my eyes. “Nothing is heating up.”
“So, when are you officially ruining the friendship?” Violet asks as she flutters her eyelashes. “Because that’s so hot.”
"Eww,” Cami says, playfully sticking a finger in her throat and pretending to gag. “That’s my brother you’re talking about. But I do love him with you and Owen. So, I’ll allow it.”
“We’re not ruining our friendship,” I say, more to myself than anyone else. “Ollie and I are best friends. He’s my person.”
We’ve been this way forever. Since the day my mom died, and he showed up on my porch with no idea what to say but refusing to leave. Since his house stopped feeling safe and mine became the place he stayed late and left early.
We grew up side by side. Through bad haircuts and bad choices. Through his girlfriends and my dating disasters. Through the years where he dated sweet, normal girls who made sense for a guy like him, and I dated men who never stayed long enough to matter.
Ollie’s been my emergency contact for as long as I can remember. The first person I call when something breaks. The one who shows up without asking if I need help. He’s the steady thing in my life. The constant. He’s my Luke and I’m his Lorelei.
And somewhere along the way, without ever meaning to, my feelings stopped being simple.
That’s the problem. Because you don’t risk the one person who’s always chosen you. You don’t gamble your entire world on a feeling that could wreck everything if it goes wrong. So, no. We’re not ruining our friendship. I won’t let myself want more than this.
"Sure.” Cami raises her eyebrows at me in disbelief. “Like, Jack is my support system. And my husband.”
“Didn’t the guy die at the end of that song? We don’t need Ollie to die,” Violet calls as we bundle up to head out to the barn to see the new baby sheep.
I shake my head. “Not ruining the friendship!”
Later, we stand by my truck as everyone says goodnight. The cool air wraps around us, and the laughter fades. It’s just the two of us for a second, enough space to feel everything too clearly as we wait for Owen to finish saying goodbye to all of the animals.
“I’m gonna help you out,” Ollie says quietly, leaning his weight against the tailgate like he’s settling in for a battle he’s already decided to win.
“You already do too much,” I tell him. “I can take care of myself.”
His eyes soften. “I know you can. But you’re not gonna.”
That hits something in me I don’t have the tools to fix.
“I don’t want to drag you into my mess,” I whisper fiercely.
“Poppy.” He steps closer, his voice warm enough to melt snow. “You’re not a mess. You’re the strongest person I know. And Owen… he deserves all of us showing up for him.”
I watch his mouth and damn it’s a fine mouth.
I think about it a lot. What it would be like to kiss it.
..nope. Can’t think about that. Can’t think about Ollie like that.
Best friends don’t think about kissing each other.
If I cross this line, I ruin everything.
I risk the only steady thing we have. And Ollie’s too important to us.
I’m selfish for thinking of him this way.
Ollie holds his arms open, and my body doesn’t wait for permission. I step into him, and he hugs me like he’s been waiting all day for it. His heartbeat is loud under my cheek. His hand rests against my back, steady and warm.
It’s not just a hug. It’s a temptation. Of something I can’t have. Because no matter how much Cami and Violet tease me about ruining our friendship and becoming more, I can’t.
We pull apart too soon, both pretending we’re fine. He walks around to Owen, who’s heading toward the truck, and leans down to him.
“See ya, buddy,” Ollie says with a soft ruffle of his hair.
Owen wraps his arms around his waist without hesitation. “I love you, Ollie.”
My chest caves in on itself.
Ollie hugs back harder, like he’s holding the whole world right there in that small body. “Love you too, buddy.”
I look away because I can’t handle it. Because Owen can love him so easily. Because Ollie earns that love every time he shows up.
And because somewhere deep inside me…
I already love him, too. And I always have.
But love is a luxury I don’t know how to have with Ollie. Because in my world, when you love something, you lose it.
I wave and start the engine. Tell myself I’m fine all the way back to town.
Owen falls asleep halfway home, smiling in his dreams. And I drive through the dark feeling grateful. And more cracked open than I’ve ever let myself be. Because tonight, we did feel like a family. And that terrifies me.