14. CHARLOTTE
14
I ’m setting myself up for heartbreak, but I can’t stop.
After his birthday, Hunter and I fall into a routine that has me spending more time with him than I ever have with Julie. He picks me up every morning so we can go to school together. We have lunch at the school cafeteria, sometimes with Julie and Jason.
But I mostly look forward to the moments he will just stroll into my house like he lives there. The moments where it’s just me and him. The moments we hang out and play rock-paper-scissors to decide who will pick out the movie we're watching. The moments he brings over my favorite ice cream or the moments we just drive around town with no destination at all. Our lives are completely synced, and at this point, I can barely remember what life looked like without him.
I know we’re supposed to be just friends, and I have no illusions that he goes straight home at night after he leaves my house, but it sure makes it easy to pretend he’s mine. But over the last week, I haven’t been able to sleep at night, wishing he was there with me.
It has to stop. We said friends. We agreed on friends, and I don’t want to ruin whatever we have by doing stupid things like giving in to the desire to find out if we could be more.
“Everything with you is easy,” he told me the other day. And that’s the exact reason I can’t make life more complicated for him than it already is. It’s why I need a plan. A perfect plan to get whatever weird idea my heart has out of my head as quickly as possible.
I close my eyes as a shiver lifts the hairs on my neck. I don’t have to turn around to know Hunter is standing behind me. I can sense his energy hitting my back, just like it does when I’m cooking and he passes behind me to grab a drink from the fridge. It’s a pull too heavy to ignore, but not from my lack of trying.
“Is it true?” Hunter’s raw voice booms in my ear, fanning the shell while reaching to the highest shelf of my locker and grabbing the book I need. He rests his hand on top of my locker door, crowding me with his entire 6’2” frame. The warmth of his body radiates against my spine, lowering my lashes for two seconds to hold back another thrill that’s trying to break through the surface of my skin.
“Dylan Dickhead asked you out on a date?”
Meet the perfect plan.
“Jesus, Hunt,” I scoff, trying to forget the fact that he’s completely in my personal space.
“Yeah, he did.” It was the perfect opportunity to follow through with my plan. I was surprised Dylan cornered me after history class yesterday, but after he asked me if Hunter and I were a thing, I quickly reminded myself that Hunter and I are just friends.
I love spending every free minute with Hunter, but I’m a senior. Now that Mama is slowly starting to feel better, I should also experience all those silly senior things everyone does. Like going to prom. Cheer on the football team.
Go on dates with handsome guys like Dylan.
He’s totally different from Hunter’s bad boy exterior, but he’s Justin Timberlake cute, and I did have a crush on Justin when I was ten. I figured I have nothing to lose .
“And you said yes?” There’s a clear annoyance in his voice while I pretend to rummage in my locker. I can’t fully hold back the smug grin that wants to slip out.
He’s jealous.
At this point, I’m not even surprised anymore. He’s my best friend, but there is always this hint of aggravation in his eyes whenever Julie and I talk about other boys.
“Of course I said yes. Why wouldn’t I?”
“Because he’s a dickhead?”
“Maybe to you, but not to me,” I muse, rolling my eyes, making me wonder if maybe, just maybe, he’ll ever admit he’s jealous.
“Whatever. Where are you guys going? Dinner and a movie? Some fancy place at the sixth end?” he coos.
Yup, sounds jealous to me.
I conjure a glare to hide the slight amusement that runs through me as I turn to face him. The cut from last night’s fight is still bright red and swollen above his brow, but it doesn’t distract from his hazel eyes laced with panic. Barely detectable, but it’s there. “What’s with the tone, Hunter? I don’t go and bitch about your dates.”
Our faces merely touch, his warm breath on my skin fogging my head, and quickly I turn my focus back on my locker, preventing myself from drowning in his gaze.
Bless my fucking heart.
Will I ever be able to shut down my senses for this boy?
A loud, conceding exhale breezes through my dirty blonde waves until it reaches the nape of my neck, as if he realizes he’s being a jackass.
He is .
“You’re right. I’m sorry. Maybe we can double,” he quietly hums in my ear. His suggestion pulls a snort from my chest.
He must be joking.
“No.” There is no chance in hell I’m going on a double date with him and his catch of the fucking week, whatever her name is right now. If I want to torture myself by listening to monkeys talk, I’ll just go to the zoo. Besides, I can’t have him scaring away my date when he throws his cage fighting in the mix, something he seems to want to point out every time a boy comes within a three-feet radius.
“Why not?” he screeches incredulously.
“Because I want to get to know him and that ain’t happening with you around.” I stall, refraining myself from picking the last book from the shelf to prevent myself from turning around. I know that if I do that, his smoldering eyes will make me cave quicker than quicksand.
“Oh, please.” He huffs.
“I’m serious. You’ll throw your dick out any chance you get, wanting to compare.”
Shit.
I regret my words as soon as they leave my mouth, knowing he will fully take advantage of it.
Because that’s what he does. He might be my friend, but that doesn’t mean he’ll let any opportunity to flirt with me go unwasted. It’s something he does with every girl, yet he seems more up front about it when it comes to me. As if he’s staking a claim, without actually claiming anything at all.
He presses his body against my back, caging me in, while he moves his lips flush with my ears, instantly bringing heat to the nape of my neck. Damn you, Hunter.
“I could show you right now that there’s no need to compare shit, babe.” The vibrations of his husky voice drum all the way through my entire body, and my hands are holding on to the cold steel of my locker to keep me up.
But really, I want to give in and lean into his hard chest. I want to give in to his pull, and his constant exploration of our boundaries until I remember how I don’t want to spend another night wondering if he could be mine.
No.
I need to stick to my plan. He’s my best friend. This is just who he is. His mouth is as big as his ability to flirt. He does it with everyone, joking about almost everything. He might not make an exception for me, confusing the shit out of me, but we do have a special friendship. I’m not putting it on the line. Somehow, that realization snaps me right out of my thoughts with resolve.
“Stop flirting with me,” I growl.
“I don’t want to.” He takes a step back, leaning his shoulder against the locker next to me, as he searches my face for something. I look at him, my face stern, while the craving in his eyes makes me wonder if he’s still joking.
But I can’t allow myself to dwell on it.
“Fuck you . I’m going on a date, so deal with it.” I slam my locker closed, then fully face him, waiting for him to dare to say anything else about it.
My green eyes pin him down, my heart galloping in my throat as I hold my ground.
“Fine.” His serious look disappears as he rolls his eyes with a big smirk, before he throws his arm around my neck, dragging me toward the exit like nothing happened. Our moment is completely gone. As if we don’t share and ignore these electrifying moments almost every day. Leaving me giddy and frustrated at the same time.
This boy will be the death of me.
“I mean it, Hunter. Don’t fuck this up for me.”
“Never, babe.” I look up, noticing him shooting me a wink that makes me push out a deep breath.
He’s totally going to fuck this up.