Bulldozer
alyssa
I woke up dreading my car situation, the inevitable calls to mechanics, the money for major repairs.
Around nine, the front desk called up telling me Lennox Falls Auto was asking for me. Confused, I went ahead and approved them to let them up. Soon, there was a knock at my door. A young guy in work coveralls stood there smiling. “Ms. Carter? Lennox Falls Auto. Got your keys.”
I blinked. “My keys?”
“Your Honda’s downstairs, good as new. Julian Wade had us tow it in last night, fix the starter and a few other issues. All set.”
My head started to spin. “He what?”
“He requested we prioritize it and deliver it to you first thing. I apologize for being slightly delayed. Just need you to sign here that you received the keys.”
I signed the paper in a daze, barely managing to thank him before he left. I stared at my car keys for exactly thirty seconds before my phone was in my hand, dialing Julian’s number.
He picked up on the second ring. “Morning.”
“Julian Wade, what the hell do you think you’re doing?”
“Good morning, Alyssa,” he said again.
“We talked about this. After the condo, we specifically talked about this.”
“Your car was broken. Now it’s fixed.”
I paced my living room. “That’s not the point and you know it.”
“What’s the point?”
“The point is I’m not your responsibility. I can stand on my own two feet.”
He let out an exasperated breath, “You are standing on your own feet.”
“Not when you keep—” I took a deep breath, trying to lower my voice. “Julian, I appreciate the help. I do. But this pattern of you just handling things for me has to stop.”
“Why?”
“Because I said so.”
Silence on his end. Then: “Alyssa. Is the car running?”
“That’s not the point.”
“Is it running, Alyssa?”
“Yes, but—”
“Then it’s handled.”
I wanted to scream, why was this so hard for him to grasp? “You can’t just bulldoze through people’s boundaries because you think you know what’s best.”
“I’m not bulldozing anything. If I was bulldozing, I’d have done what I wanted to do, and bought you a new car. I didn’t do that. I got it fixed. Simple.”
My voice dropped. “How much was it?”
“Doesn’t matter.”
“It does. I’m paying you back this time.”
“Alyssa, we’ve had this conversation. I’m not taking your money. Be happy your car is taken care of and move on.”
“What if I don’t want to move on?”
“Then that’s your choice. But the car stays fixed.”
I sank onto my couch, suddenly exhausted. “You’re impossible.”
“So are you. You’re still settling into town. New job, new routines. You don’t need a surprise headache to deal with. Are we not friends? Don’t friends help each other?”
I didn’t reply.
“If Raschad was in town, would you be yelling at him for fixing your car?”
Actually, I probably would have, but he didn’t need to know that. “That’s different.”
“How?”
“Because he’s my brother.”
“And I’m…?”
The pause stretched between us. “My friend,” I finished quietly.
“Correct. And friends help each other out when they are able.”
“I just... I need to feel like I can pay you back somehow.”
His voice softened slightly. “You don’t owe me anything.”
“I know you think that. You won’t take my money, fine. But I’m going to find another way to pay you back, and you don’t get a say in it.”
I could hear the smile in his voice when he responded. “Looking forward to it.”
I hung up, with my heart still racing. Micah looked over from the TV, where he had been watching cartoons the whole time.
“Was that Coach Julian?”
“Yeah, baby.”
“Are you mad at him?”
I looked at my car keys, then at my son. “No. I’m not mad. We just disagree sometimes.”
“About what?”
“About helping each other.”
Micah nodded like it was obvious. “He helps everybody. That’s what men do.”
I tilted my head. “Who told you that?”
“Coach Julian.” His face lit up as he repeated it. “He says a man takes care of his family, keeps his word, and handles his business. Says if you promise something, you do it.”
I stared at my son, startled by how sure he sounded, and how much weight he gave Julian’s words.
“He says men don’t just think about themselves,” Micah went on. “Like when he drives me and Zhaire home, or makes sure the team’s got snacks and water. He said that’s what leaders do.”
My heart fluttered. “What else did he tell you?” I asked, trying to sound casual.
Micah grinned. “That you’re pretty.”
My head jerked. “What? When did he say that?”
“Last week, when he dropped me off. I was taking too long and he said, ‘Never keep a pretty lady waiting.’”
I laughed. “Mhm. Did he now.”
Micah shrugged, already back into his cartoon. To him, it was nothing. To me, it was… dangerous.
Because Julian wasn’t Malik. He wasn’t careless or cruel or distracted.
He paid attention. He was kind. He showed up.
He was consistent. Not just for me, for Micah too.
And that scared me. Because if I let myself believe Julian’s kindness meant something more than friendship, if I let myself think he looked at me the way I sometimes caught myself looking at him… and I was wrong?
One thing I’d already learned being in Lennox Falls was that Julian could have any woman he wanted. As annoying as my mother’s jaded advice was, one thing she wasn’t wrong about is that Julian was a catch. Too much of one.
He didn’t need to settle for me.
The thought hit me, and then I corrected myself.
That was Malik talking. The ghost of his betrayal still lingering like smoke I hadn’t fully aired out.
Years later and sometimes I still had to remind myself: it wasn’t me.
It was him. His choices. His lies. But some days, it was too easy to slip back into that insecure space he’d carved out in me.
I wasn’t that woman anymore. Moving here, finding my rhythm again, I could feel pieces of the old Alyssa returning. The one who was confident. Who walked into any room like she belonged. I used to know I was that girl. I could feel her stretching awake inside me again, after too long asleep.
But Julian? He was in another stratosphere. That man lived like he’d been training his whole life for the majors while I was just stepping off the bench after an injury, trying to find my swing again. I wasn’t na?ve enough to expect a home run on the first hit back.
So I stayed grounded and realistic. Grateful for the friendship we had. He was a good man. A good friend and good to my son.
And that would have to be enough.
Simone’s house smelled like coffee and baby powder. Zaria was balanced on her hip, patting her shoulder in that absent toddler rhythm while Simone studied me over her mug.
“Your brother is driving me crazy.”
Her eyebrows lifted. “Which one?”
“The one who thinks he’s my personal problem-solver.”
“Julian.” She set down her mug, already smiling. “What’d he fix now?”
“First my condo. Which yes, I needed, but I didn’t ask.
Then equipment for Micah that just ‘appeared.’ Then I found out he’d been making calls about possible jobs for me.
Which… ok, I did end up getting my job from one of his connections.
Now, he got my car fixed. Won’t let me pay him back.
” I pressed my palms flat on her kitchen counter.
“At first it pissed me off. I don’t need a savior.
But now?” I shook my head. “Now I don’t know. Feels like he can’t help himself.”
Simone’s mouth curved slow. She shifted Zaria higher on her hip. “He can’t help himself. That’s just Julian.”
I frowned. “Explain that.”
She studied me for a long moment, like she was debating how much to say. Then she sighed. “You know about our parents. Julian was nineteen then, and suddenly, he was the one taking care of three minors. Not to mention a music label that lost both its founders.”
I blinked.
“Uncle Reggie wanted Tre and Zion. Aunt Lorraine wanted me. They were ready to split us up. But Julian refused. Said we needed each other, in our family home. He made them believe he could hold us together. And then he did.”
I found myself holding my breath.
“Discipline. Routine. That’s how he survived. How we survived. He finished school, kept working, made WadeHouse into what it is now. And when we cried? He let us cry on him. But him? Never saw him shed a tear. He shoved it down and just carried us on his back.”
“That’s his language,” she continued. “Taking care of family. Controlling what he can control. It’s how he cares.”
I thought about it for a moment. “But I’m not his sister, or—”
“No.” Simone’s smile turned knowing. “Which is why this is interesting. I know my brother. He doesn’t let people in. He doesn’t let people close. And yet, when you showed up? He started making space. We all see it.”
I looked down, not sure how to respond to that.
“He won’t even run with Tre and Zion. Always says his runs are his sanctuary. Then you come along, and suddenly, he’s running beside you half the week like it’s nothing. That’s a choice. He likes you.”
I swallowed, shaking my head like I could shake off the awkwardness. “As a friend.”
“He doesn’t have female friends.”
“First time for everything.”
“Mmm-hmm.”
“I mean it. We both prefer it that way.”
“I believe you.” She put Zaria down. “I’m just saying, Julian doesn’t usually have friends. He has family, employees, and people he keeps at arm’s length. So even friendship is... new for him.”
I relaxed slightly. That I could handle. “Well, maybe it’s good for him. For us both. Building a friendship.”
“Maybe.” She studied me. “Just know that when Julian is taking care of things, it’s not about thinking you’re incapable. It’s just how he’s wired. Anyway. I’m glad you’re friends. He needs that. Someone who isn’t family, isn’t work. Just... someone.”
“Even if I yell at him for overstepping?”
She laughed. “Especially then. Nobody else does. We’re all too grateful to call him out.”