Chapter 5
I couldn’t keep my hands off my gorgeous wife as we stood in the warm shower together. Using her sponge, I washed her back while she rinsed her front. The ache and heaviness in my chest was going to destroy me if I didn’t take care of our problem soon.
Anxiety plagued me as I considered the possibility of someone hurting her again. I couldn’t live without Wesley again after finally being reunited. I had to take care of Zachariah soon. Knowing that I had to kill my wife’s daddy weighed heavily on me, no matter how much he deserved to die.
Zachariah being evil didn’t change the fact that he was her father. I knew some part of her loved him just as much as she feared him. Wesley turned to face me with a soft smile that fell when our eyes connected.
“What is it, Amaze?” she quizzed with lifted brows.
Unable to bring myself to lie to her and say it was nothing, I simply shook my head. I planned to talk to her about what I was going to do, but not until she had something to eat. I still knew Wes well enough to know that she took bad news better with something on her stomach.
“Is Anthony with your mom?”
“Yes. He’s supposed to call you when he wakes up,” I mentioned.
I had given him instructions to call his mom when he woke up. I knew that she worried herself sick when he was away from her. She explained that he didn’t stay away from home much unless he was at their old neighbor’s house.
Since Galvin’s death, he had only been with her and me. She had every right to worry with her psychotic dad out there lurking, but not when he was with my mom. He was safe there because the boys at the club kept a close surveillance of her place.
“What’s wrong, Maze?” she asked again.
“Just soaking up your love, baby,” I told her, not exactly lying.
Thankfully, my answer sufficed. Wes flashed her heartwarming smile as she touched my face and tiptoed to kiss my lips.
We finished our shower in relative silence before getting out and drying off. I threw back on the jeans and T-shirt that I had tossed on before driving over to see her. I turned to watch her just as she wiggled her ass into a pair of skintight jeans. It was actually ridiculous how quickly I got turned on by her. My dick stiffened in my jeans as I watched her maneuver.
“Lord, please don’t let me fuck anyone up about my wife today.” I prayed aloud as I turned my focus back on putting on my shoes.
She laughed out loud, walking over to stand in front of me. My eyes traveled up the length of her body, slowing at her thick thighs and my personal heaven before moving up to her face. The concern marring her beautiful face puzzled me.
“Do I need to change clothes?” she asked softly, looking down at the floor as she waited for my response.
I sighed as I reached out and pulled her down into my lap. “Hey, look at me,” I said, placing a kiss on the corner of her mouth. “I was just kidding, love bug. You know I don’t care how you dress. I’m sorry, OK. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
I knew after being involved with a tyrant for years, she was emotionally damaged. It was crazy that she was nervous about wearing a simple pair of jeans and a tank top. My biggest regret was not being able to take care of Galvin myself. I would spend the rest of my life healing her if I had to. I was just grateful that God saw fit to give me my wife back. She didn’t respond verbally, only shook her head as she stood and walked over to put on a pair of sneakers.
“That don’t mean I’m not gon’ fuck anybody up for looking. Just so we’re clear.”
“Maze, shut up.” She giggled, making me feel a lot better.
I needed her to know that she was safe now. There was no use in me wasting time telling her when I could show her. I had a lifetime to let her know that she was in good hands now. She was back in my possession where she belonged.
“I’m gonna kill Zachariah,” I blurted.
Her posture stiffened when the words left my mouth, but she didn’t immediately respond. Instead, she finished lacing her shoes and stood to her full height. She looked all over the room but didn’t put her eyes on me. I knew she was nervous and likely trying to figure out what to say. I wanted to give her space to process her feelings, so I didn’t say anything else. I stood and walked over to her, grabbing her hand and kissing it before leading the way out of the house.
When we made it outside, I walked over to my bike while I waited for Wes to lock up. I released the clip holding the helmet to the bike. She turned to face me and lit up like a Christmas tree when she saw me brandishing a helmet lined in her favorite color for her to wear.
“When did you get that?” she asked, still wearing that wide grin.
“A couple weeks ago,” I told her.
“So, why am I just now getting a ride?” she asked, placing her hands on her hips.
“You never asked for one.”
“Because you were so busy avoiding me like I was a bill collector. I didn’t know how to take you.”
“Just trying to give you space, love bug. I wanted to make sure that you were ready to move forward. It was a struggle for me. I’m sure you can see that after I showed up here in the middle of the night.”
“Yeah, now that you say that, I do.” She smiled.
“Are you mad?”
“No, I was never mad with you, Maze. I was mostly confused. I thought you were having second thoughts about us.”
“Never. Do you hear me?”
“Yes,” she mumbled, nodding slowly.
“You’re my forever, Wes. Don’t ever forget that.”
“I won’t, baby.” She beamed.
“You’re so damn pretty.” I shook my head, admiring her as I passed her the helmet designated for her.
I loved the way her smile grew as she slipped the helmet over her head. Damn, I had missed her. Just being in Wesley’s presence made me feel warm and light at the same time. I was genuinely happy. The feeling was so foreign that I barely had a name for it.
I climbed on my bike and waited for my baby to get on behind me. When she was seated, she wrapped her arms around me.
“Tight, baby,” I reminded her, sure that she hadn’t forgotten. It didn’t matter. I would always make sure she was safe and secure.
“I’m holding on, Maze,” she assured me, giving me the confidence to fire up my bike.
The little café I wanted to take her to was less than ten minutes away from Wesley’s house. So we made it there in no time. It felt so good riding with Wes again that I considered prolonging the trip, but I was too hungry to waste time. We had a lifetime of riding to do. I found a parking spot in front of the door and pulled right in.
As soon as we were off, Wesley pulled out her phone and called Anthony. It was nine in the morning. Even in the few months that I had known him, I had never seen our son wake up before eleven on the weekends. He stayed up until the wee hours of the morning, messing around with his electronics and whatever else he could think of doing.
As long as his grades weren’t slipping and he did his chores, I didn’t have an issue with it. I did make sure to mention the importance of getting the proper amount of rest. He let me know that he tried to be asleep at a decent time during the week, but on the weekends, anything went.
He was a good kid, so I didn’t give him a hard time. I was still navigating how to fit into his life. I wasn’t there to make a whole lot of changes when I had just met him. Still, he was my son. I would protect him with my life, just like I would his mother.
I grabbed Wes’s hand and led the way to the front door. I was shocked when I heard Anthony answer the phone.
“Hey, baby. I can’t believe your butt is awake. Me and your dad came to get breakfast,” I heard Wesley tell him as we walked into the diner.
We were quickly seated, and I picked up a menu as if I didn’t know what I would order. I had come to this place a few weeks ago and thought Wesley would love it. Even though she had improved, I liked to make sure that she ate. Stressful situations seemed to be a trigger for her. I knew her stress levels had been at an all-time high lately, so it was my duty to make sure that she was good.
“Tell him I said hey.”
“Amaze says hi, Ant.”
I shook my head and laughed. I didn’t say hi. I was pretty sure that I had never said hi in my life unless I was telling somebody that I was high. Either way, the excitement in his voice tripped me out. “He wants to speak to you.”
Accepting the phone, I put it to my ear. “Hey, what’s up?”
“Grandma is taking me driving this morning. She wants to go look at plants or something after we go to my birthday breakfast.”
“Oh, that’s going to be an all-day affair. Good luck.”
“I get food, and I get to drive my new whip. My luck is already good, Pops.”
“Sounds like it to me.”
“Uncle AJ is coming with us, I think. Well, he said he will meet us there because he doesn’t trust my driving.”
“I can’t blame him for that.” I chuckled.
“He said if my dad is teaching me how to drive, then he knows better than to get in the car with me.” My son laughed just a little too hard.
“Oh, he said that shit? That boy must not know Nascar tried to recruit me to drive for them. I just didn’t want to trade the bike for a car. I need to be teaching his ass how to drive.”
“I don’t know what he’s talking about. I’m a good driver,” Anthony added.
“Right! I wouldn’t be letting you chauffer my mama around if you weren’t.”
“Well, we’re about to leave. See you later, Pops. Tell my mama I love her.”
“OK, I love you, Son.”
“Love you too, Dad.”
My heart almost exploded out of my chest every time that boy called me dad. Him saying he loved me was icing on the cake. I still couldn’t believe I had a fucking son. Not only that, but he was a good ass kid. Wesley had done an amazing job of raising him, especially under the circumstances.
She could have let Galvin ruin him and turn him into the monster that he was. Wesley’s sweet and kind spirit had helped mold our son into a kind and respectful young man. I couldn’t be prouder.
The waitress came over and took our orders. Just like before, I ordered the meat lovers omelet and home fries. Wes went with the southwest chicken omelet and fresh fruit. We both ordered coffee made the same way, one cream and three sugars.
As we waited for the food, I smiled over at my gorgeous wife, who seemed to be lost in thought. I knew my revelation about killing her dad was likely somewhere in the back of her mind. She was a natural overthinker. So there was no telling what was swirling through that beautiful mind of hers.
Since it didn’t take that long to cook eggs, our food came out in no time at all. As the waitress placed the plates on the table, Wes reached out to hold my hand. I grabbed my baby’s hand and closed my eyes. I stroked the back of her hand with the pad of my thumb as she said a quick prayer. It felt so good to touch her after thinking I would never even lay my eyes on her again. As often as I could, I would touch her, just to make sure she was real.
“Dear Lord, I want to thank you for reuniting me with Amaze. While we may never fully understand why we were ripped apart, we appreciate the journey that led us back to each other. We pray that You continue to lead and guide us as we navigate our new normal and raising an amazing son in Your image. I pray that You bless our food and the capable hands that have prepared it. We also pray that You continue to grant us grace and mercy as we continue our walk through life. Amen.”
“Amen,” I muttered as I lifted my eyes back to her.
She dug into her food, so I did the same. I had been starving since I drove over to see Wesley. I was grateful that she was eating, especially after I dropped the information of my plan to her. She had the right to lose her appetite after hearing about her dad’s impending doom. We ate in relative silence for a few minutes before she spoke up again.
“I used to think God was punishing me for defying my father’s wishes and choosing you over him,” she said, catching me off guard. “Since you’ve come back into my life, I don’t know what to believe anymore. What I know for sure is that I love you more than anything in the world, even myself some days. No one in my life has ever supported and protected me the way you do,” she noted.
“I’m always gon’ do that. That’s my job, Wes.”
“Even before it was your so-called job, you took care of me. Remember when I finally told you about my eating disorder? I was so scared that you would think I was crazy. Instead, you stayed up all night doing research and finding ways to support me. You didn’t make it like it was a joke or tell me to just suck it up and eat like my dad did. You genuinely cared and wanted to find a way to help me. You were the one who showed me what it felt like to be loved. When you were gone, I thought I would never experience that feeling again. It has taken me a while to come to terms with the fact that you’re still here. I practically went through all five stages of grief all over again, if that makes sense.”
“I can definitely relate to feeling robbed and being angry that I missed all of those years with you, just because two men were on a power trip. If I’m being honest, I’m still so fucking angry .”
“Me too. For a while, I went through cycles of anger and depression because I had missed so much time with you. I went through hell because I didn’t think I had a choice.”
“I never wanted to love again. It didn’t matter how great a woman was. I felt like I was dishonoring your memory by moving on. Now I’m glad that I didn’t start a new family. You’re my family, Wes. You and Anthony are the most important things in the world to me. I still love you so much, baby. I’m never going to stop trying to show you just how important you are to me.”
“I understand why you have to do what you have to do. I don’t think either of us will be able to rest as long as Zachariah is in the picture.”
Relief.
That was the only way to describe the way I was feeling. I couldn’t say that I wouldn’t have still killed Zach without Wesley’s approval, but her saying that she understood was like a thousand-pound weight being lifted from my shoulders.
The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt my wife. Although I knew the loss of her father wouldn’t be easy, knowing that she understood the necessity of his demise was a relief. I needed her on board with me.
Getting rid of Zach was more for her and Anthony than it was for me to get revenge. Getting back at him for trying to kill me and destroying my life was nowhere near as important as keeping my wife and son safe. Killing him wasn’t just retaliation. It was necessary.
“I appreciate you for seeing my side. I’m not doing it for payback. I have to protect you and Anthony. I don’t take my duty as your protector lightly.”
“I know, baby. You protect me in your way, and I will protect you in mine.”
I smiled, although I wasn’t exactly sure what she meant. “What is your way?”
“I want you to go to church with us in the morning. I’ve been praying over you and for you, but now I need you to come to church with me.”
“Wes.” I sighed.
“It won’t be that bad, Maze. When is the last time you went to church?”
“I feel like you know the answer to that.”
“So, the last time you went to church was with me?” she asked.
“Only because I missed your funeral.” I shrugged.
“Wow!” She stretched her eyes as big as they would go.
“What?” I asked with a shrug.
“You haven’t been to church in fifteen years?”
“To my credit, I hadn’t been in twenty years before we met,” I reminded her.
“That’s crazy.” She shook her head.
“I take that back. I went to my dad’s funeral.”
“Amaze Johnson, you know funerals don’t count.”
“Who’s to say what counts?”
She just shook her head and smiled for a minute. A smile broke through my own lips as I lifted my lukewarm coffee and finished it in one gulp. Wesley wiped her mouth and hands on one of the napkins, then placed it on her plate.
“Church first, Maze. I need to make sure you’re covered before you go making those kinds of moves.”
“I’ll be there. I’m willing to do whatever makes you feel better, Wes. Just let me know the time and place.”
“Let me use the bathroom before we go home.”
I wanted to ask her who said we were going home, but that would ruin my surprise. Instead, I focused on the most important part of what she said.
“Before we go home, huh?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you want to stay in the place you’re in, or should I find us a new place?” I asked her.
“That’s a good question.”
“You’re the only one who can answer it. If you want to stay there, it’s fine. I don’t have enough rooms for all three of us.”
“Can I think about it?”
“Absolutely.” I nodded.
I didn’t want to pressure Wesley about moving in together, but I didn’t plan on sleeping without her too much longer. Fifteen years was a long ass time to go without my wife. The three months that I added had been torture. Us not being together was over. I just needed to give her time to get comfortable with the idea of us again.