Chapter 25
LINCOLN
Asoldier dressed in full uniform guarded the entrance to the hospital on the base. His brows furrowed when he saw me approaching, and he put up his hand to stop me.
“I’m sorry, Dobbs. You’re not allowed on the base.” I hadn’t recognized him at first, but now that I was closer, I realized I knew him. “We’re under strict orders.”
A headache was building at the base of my skull, but it wasn’t Jackson’s fault. He was only trying to do his job. A part of me wanted to knock him out for delaying me when all I wanted was to check on Eden, though.
“I thought you might be,” I admitted, showing him my palms. “Look, I just want to see him. I’m not here to cause you or anybody else any trouble.”
Understanding loosened his jaw. His posture relaxed, but he still shook his head. “I’m sorry, bud. They warned us you might show up. It sucks about Eden.”
My teeth ground together as I fought to keep my cool. “He’ll pull through. You really not going to let me in?”
Jackson sighed heavily, then stepped aside. The kid was a few years younger than me, but we’d been on a mission or two together before. He knew Eden, too.
He straightened up as a convoy of vehicles drove through the gates, then turned back to me once they had passed. “I respect you, Linc. I know what they’re saying about this being your fault isn’t true.”
“That’s what they’re saying, huh?” I’d expected it, knew that’d be the narrative, but I couldn’t pretend that hearing it confirmed didn’t piss me the hell off.
Then again, my fuse was mighty short these days. Only Sofia seemed to have a calming effect on me, but even with her, I felt the darkness and uncertainty about my future creeping in at times.
Becoming a SEAL had been the right move for me. It still was. Others not having spines or balls to do what they were supposed to do was hardly my fault.
And that last raid. Eden might be in the hospital, but six other men were back home safe and sound. As were those motherfucking hostages from our previous mission.
Bureaucracy was going to end my career and cost one hell of a lot of people their lives once they managed to oust me. All because I followed my own damn head.
We’d lost a few people on missions but never as a result of my actions. Hopefully, those who had worked with me would remember that, with all these bullshit rumors spreading on the base.
Jackson’s brown eyes looked right into mine. “That is what they’re saying, but everyone knows it’s bullshit. We know there’s an ongoing investigation. You’re going to be cleared, Linc. You have to be.”
I shrugged, letting my focus shift from him to the boring block of a building behind him. “I should be, but I don’t know that I will. In the meantime, I just really want to see Eden.”
“Okay,” he said suddenly. “I was going to let you in before that last convoy came through anyway. But listen, Lincoln. I can only give you a pass if I didn’t see you here.”
“I was never here,” I agreed, nodding at him and clapping him on the shoulder as I passed. “Thanks, Jackson. I won’t forget this.”
“I’d rather you would,” the kid murmured, but I didn’t reply. I understood his concerns, and I doubted it’d be the last time I was confronted with them, but I really wasn’t looking to get anyone in trouble.
No way would I ever admit it to him, being the one that let me onto the base, but I owed the kid big time. If he hadn’t let me pass, neither of us would have liked the measures I might have resorted to.
To be fair, I probably wouldn’t have resorted to violence today. Knocking the guard out was likely to have been something I might have tried later down the line. I wasn’t a psychopath.
While I could stand my ground in any fight, it wasn’t like I liked fighting. Bloodlust wasn’t some part of my genetic makeup. Just because I didn’t mind a little blood didn’t mean I enjoyed spilling it. Especially not if the guy was on my own damn team.
But there was nothing I wouldn’t have done to get to Eden. Lord only knew he’d have blown up the damn security booth to get to me if I was confined to that bed.
I walked up the path, tilting my head back to look at the flags proudly flying high in front of the hospital. My mind was a fucking mess.
Sofia had kept these demons at bay while she’d been with me, but they’d been rattling at their cage to get out ever since she’d left after our excursion on the boat. A maelstrom of thoughts flew around inside my skull as I tried to puzzle together what had landed me here.
The mission with the hostages was one thing. I’d acted without a command. I got that. While I still believed we’d done the right thing, I’d known at the time that there would have to be an inquiry and I’d reconciled myself with that probability before I’d made the move.
On this last mission, however, everything had gone exactly according to plan. Until it hadn’t, but our part had.
Even so, the events that had led Eden and I there were a mystery to me. With my immediate suspension before I’d even showered after getting back, I hadn’t had a chance to track down the lieutenant. I needed to speak to him, but he lived on the base, and I obviously wasn’t welcome here.
Chances that he’d speak to me with an ongoing investigation in progress were slim to none anyway. But I had to do something to clear my name. One thing was for sure. I wasn’t going down without a fight.
Keeping quiet at first had been part of my strategy, and so had not talking to Sofia about it, but I needed to start working on my next steps. Later. Once I’ve seen Eden is okay.
The corridors inside the hospital were busy. Staff swarmed around me, but I wasn’t questioned or prevented from reaching Eden’s room. People around here had too much to do to detain every visitor, it seemed.
Quietly opening his door and closing it behind me once I’d slipped inside, I blinked. It took my eyes a minute to adjust to the low light in his room.
Someone had drawn the curtain across the one window that he had. The harsh overhead lights were also turned off, and only a row of bulbs in the panel above his head was on.
It didn’t look like anyone had been here since I’d left, but when I approached his bed, I could see the dressing on his wounds were clean and someone had even taken the time to shave him. Those fucking incessant beeps were still present, as was the machine doing his breathing for him.
Nausea punched me in the stomach. I’d been sure when I got here again, he would be able to breathe on his own. But he couldn’t.
My own breath stuttered in my lungs, making me have to suck in a ragged gasp that sounded pained even to my own ears. My legs felt like they’d been cast in concrete, and my heart felt like it was caught in a crushing grip.
“Eden, bud?” I said, my voice hoarse before I cleared my throat. The sound cracked the silence in his quiet room but only for a split second. “How are you?”
My best friend didn’t move, but I’d read that patients in comas could still hear what people around them said. Which was another reason why I’d wanted to come here so badly.
Eden’s chest moved up and down deeply and evenly when I finally moved closer to him. I sank into the chair I’d pulled up that was still there, leaning forward to fold my arms on the metal bars surrounding his bed.
“I hope they’re treating you well in here,” I started conversationally. “If not, we’ll have to kick their fucking asses once you wake up.”
The rhythmic beeping of the machines was his only response. Sighing, I lifted my ass back out of the chair because it was just too damn depressing to sit in it under the circumstances.
“I brought a book with me,” I said as I walked over to the window, opening the curtain to let some light in.
Leaning with my shoulder against the sill, I stared out at the bright blue summer sky and the blooming flowers on the trees, and I tried to remain positive. Eden didn’t look good.
He was as pale as he’d been just after I’d brought him in. His face was gaunt and his skin sallow. At least he didn’t look clammy anymore, which I was counting as a win.
“It’s a motivational book about recovery,” I told him, pulling it out of my pocket.
The pages had curled, but the guy on the front cover was still grinning widely.
“Don’t think it’s going to be bullshit, okay?
It’s not. This guy suffered similar injuries to you, and he’s doing fine.
He’s one-hundred percent back to normal. ”
When Eden still didn’t reply, I opened the book and started reading. I hadn’t gotten through the first chapter when the door to his room opened. I twisted around, seeing a doctor with his head buried in a clipboard walking in.
He was quiet as he paged through test results, scratching his jaw with a pen. When he looked up and saw me, surprise flickered across his expression for a moment.
“Mr. Dobbs. I had a feeling you would be back.” His eyes darted down to the book in my hands. “What are you doing?”
“I’ve read that reading to patients in comas can help.” I inched closer to him, wondering if I’d be able to catch a glimpse of the results he had. “How’s he doing?”
The doctor opened his mouth, then shut it again. With a sigh, he moved back to the door to click it shut. “You can’t be caught in here. I understand you’re worried about your friend, but it will make things worse for both of you if anyone finds out you visited.”
“I know,” I whispered. “I just wanted to see if he was okay. Is there anything you can tell me about his condition?”
He glanced at the door, down to the book in my hands, and dipped his head back as his eyes closed. “I really shouldn’t give you any information. The best I can do is tell you that he’s stable.”
“Okay.” I nodded, swallowing heavily. “Okay. Stable. That’s good, right?”
An understanding smile spread on his lips. “Yes, Dobbs. Stable is good. I’m going to have to ask you to leave now.”
“Yeah, I know. I’ll go. I don’t want to get anyone in trouble.” Crossing to the chest of drawers beside Eden’s bed, I set the book down on top of it. “Could you ask someone to read that to him whenever they’ve got time?”
“I’ll come by myself every afternoon if no one else can do it,” he said, pointing at the door with his clipboard. “I have to get back to my rounds, and I still need to check on Phillips before I go.”
“Of course.” I turned to Eden’s bed, taking him in for a long moment.
I envisioned color on his cheeks and that wide smile on his face, willing him to be sitting up by the time I could come back here again.
When I see you again, you’re going to look so much better.
Fight, Eden. You hear me? Give this fight everything you’ve got.
As I turned to head toward the door, the doctor’s voice rang out behind me. “Dobbs?”
“Yeah?”
“I’ll call you if something changes for him. Your number is in his file.”
“Thanks, Doc. I really appreciate it.” I pushed the door open and left him with my best friend, trusting that at least I had one person looking after him in my corner.
It was a hell of a lot more than I had when I’d walked in there.